[Miscellany]

I got lost somewhere on that sticky dance floor between 1996 and 2019.  Grunge made way for pop and emo, and dance and... I don't know what next.  I just stopped listening to the radio somewhere in there.  Disappeared into mundane realities of working life and dreams lost and then just losing myself. Gone. I watch the crowd of friends before me but not everyone is lost. 

Jealousy, turning saints into the sea

C, bouncing.  Her energiser bunny feet keep in time to the fast-paced pop rock. Hands up, black hair swirling around her face like a hurricane.

Swimming through sick lullabies

B, arms flapping and completely forgetting herself and her body.  Pure joy on her face. Eyes in another place

Choking on your alibis

N, twirling like a dervish with her husband keeping her in check with his hand holding hers, she smiles at him - eyes shining.  'You're my rudder', her heart says.

But it's just the price I pay

R grabbing and hugging everybody, creating a friendly slam dance without warning and drawing everyone in.

Destiny is calling me

A, laughing into the darkness. Arm at the waist of her beloved of 23 years.

Open up my eager eyes

L and C, eyes closed and screaming the lyrics, arms wrapped tightly around each other's shoulders.

'Cause I'm Mr. Brightside

I search the floor for a kindred spirit.  Another moth to the flame but I am alone.  I invite the beat into body, willing my muscle memory to spur on a surge of power and joy. Amongst the pain and heartache and loneliness there had always been music, once upon a time anyway.  I desperately reach into the past to draw myself into the present but my mind only remembers over-worn converse sneakers, and corduroy jeans with a t-shirt - grabbing the crowd with both hands and flinging myself into the melee.  Screaming at the top of my lungs, sweat pouring, voice breaking, feet forever dancing.  I invite her back, that girl, with all my might as I shuffle my feet, wondering where I disappeared to but she stays where she should, locked in my remembrance of better times.

I'm coming out of my cage

I look to my left and right, the crowd is singing and someone lifts the birthday boy up onto their shoulders

And I've been doing just fine

and the crowd beats their fists into the air, shouting and laughing and singing.

Gotta Gotta be down

E, wraps her arms around L like they are the only two people in the room and throws her head back grinning.

Because I want it all