Monday, March 31, 2008

Along the undertow

(I just realised this is my 500th post - probably should have prepared something more poignant oh well)

By the time this band hit the scene the music industry was in the middle of a change. Grunge was dying a slow death and pop was coming back in a big way. In terms of Weezer, people started calling it geek rock, which I supposed was a reference to their attire but apart from that, there wasn't anything particularly geeky about them. If they had gone to your school they probably would have been pretty popular don't you think? Real geeks don't form bands and end up with multi-million copies of their album sold. I'm just sayin'. But despite the inconsistencies with image and sound I loved Weezer. A squishy; close my eyes and imagine myself floating in between the quavers on the music staff, kind of love.

I don't know where the time goes but I never get the chance to listen to whole albums of music anymore like I did back when I was a teenager. To be fair, I don't think the industry supports the art of a balanced and beautiful album anymore. They are few and far between. The iPod and iTune generation picks and chooses the songs they want from a line up and the rest fall away - unlistened and undiscovered. But that's only part of the problem anyway. Way back then it felt like I had all the time in the world to really fall in love with an album. I'd get it home, slip it into the player and spend hours playing the album back to back while pouring through the liner notes. These days the liner notes get a courtesy flip and quick read - back then I'd memories the 'thank you' section. I really can't remember the last time I put on an album and listened to it all the way through - waiting for the secret track at the end like I used to. I don't know where my priorities went but "growing up" is surely overrated if it means that I don't listen to music the way it should be listened to anymore.

I listened to Weezer's blue album like it was my best friend and we were settling down to a really long chat on the telephone where EVERYTHING was discussed. I put it on, I read through the notes, I imagined myself in the music. It was the first album in a while that I identified as happy music and that was something else entirely to what I'd been doing previously. Until then the musical landscape was inspiring but a little depressing - Kurt was dead, Eddie was mournful, Courtney was being bitter, Nick was - as always- deliciously black - but Weezer was just...fun and charming.

That is not to take away from the art. Every. single. song. on their blue album is a prize. I'm not really all that interested in Weezer's other stuff to tell you the truth. THIS album, THIS one is the one that really captured my imagination and heart. It's not serious, political or complex - but forget all of that. It's just a GOOD album and that in itself is an awesome thing. It made me laugh and imagine and my heart skip a beat.

This album also spawned what is in my opinion the best video clip of all time.

Buddy Holly - Weezer

Please, try the fish.

My Name is Jonas - Weezer

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Thursday, March 27, 2008

buh-buh-buh-buh baby!

When I heard about Thomas Beatie, the transgendered man who is now pregnant, I didn't really even bat an eyelid. Well, maybe one eyelid..but it was only for a second. I probably have more of a problem with the traditional nuclear family than I do with gays, straights, transgendered people or even men giving birth. Why? Well, I figure that if you're about to go through hell or high water like that - with your every move under scrutiny - in order to have a baby, then that means you are really going to want one. People who really want babies are probably not going to end up mistreating them or using them in order to manipulate their partners. This is more than I can say for the love 'em and leave 'em scenario that seems to happen in too many so called traditional families. In any case - this Beatie baby (if it's even true) will be born into a nuclear family anyway - (mum and dad), so neh.

Out of all the hoopla surrounding the issue it was really this quote from Thomas Beatie that made me stop and think

“Wanting to have a biological child is neither a male nor female desire but a human desire.”

And I realised that no one ever really talks about children as something that men desire. Sure you hear about men who 'one day want a family' etc but I'm not talking about in these general terms - I mean the real deal; the desperate urge to have one NOW. Women (of a certain age) are consistently made fun of for having a biological clock or for being what we call "clucky" - really wanting a child. Since procreating is ..well the ONLY way of keeping our species alive and thriving you'd think it'd be a female AND male urge to want children, and I'm pretty sure it is* but it's rarely discussed in such terms. It's usually discussed more in terms of women desperately wanting a baby and trapping the poor husband/guy into being a father. It's seen as something that happens *to them* rather than something they desperately desire.

I'd like to think it IS something they desire as much as we do but I have to admit I know a lot of girls who really want babies, but not so many men who do. Maybe the guys just don't talk about it all that much. Maybe it's a big myth created by the media..to perpetuate an image of the sturdy bloke who is tough and strong and without desires that tie him down. I don't know. If this is the case, surely it's as damaging to men as much as it is to women.

Why do you think that men are not ever thought of as "clucky"? Do they have a biological clock and if so just how loudly does it tick? If the option was available would they want to "go it alone" like women sometimes do? Do you know men who are clucky (I mean who really talk about wishing they had a baby and wanting to find a girl and have one, not in some distant future but NOW, right NOW)? If you are a guy, are you clucky now, or have you ever been?

* I realise not all men or WOMEN want babies.

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Sunday, March 23, 2008

bunny foo foo, wearing polyester.

I love Easter, mostly because it's the celebration of our great lord chocolate. I also like that everyone is forced to adhere to the stringent guidelines of TWO, yes count them TWO holidays away from the shops and most people are so drugged out from consuming vast amounts of our lord God that the mood tends to be calm, rather than tcstressed and frenzied. I much prefer it to Christmas (the consumerist holiday), which let's face it is always marred by having to face numerous hours at the shopping mall trying to find the "perfect present" for other people. Chocolate in itself IS the perfect present so it's like Easter just takes all the brain work out of it. I approve. Yes I do.

This meme has been making the rounds lately. Basically you take a bunch of movie quotes and people try to guess them. I've got 20 here. Some of them come from my favourite movies, though not all my faves are represented. Some of them are just really cool quotes that I like. I think that movies are filled with pockets of wisdom. I love movie quotes. I love movie soundtracks. Being in a cinema is perhaps my most favourite place in the world to be. I can't think of one other place where I feel more at home. Some choose life. I choose film.

So here are the rules of the meme. Guess the movie. Try not to google - but hey I'm not going to hold it against you if you do. God knows I've cheated with the old song lyric and movie quote test in my time.

I realise the shell is empty; thre's no point to any of this. It's all a random lottery of meaningless tragedy and a series of near escapes. So I take pleasure in the details. A quarter pounder with cheese (those are good), the sky about 10 minutes before it starts to rain, the moment where your laughter becomes a cackle...
(Reality Bites - Answered by Phil)

It has an under-taste. A chalky under-taste.

quote 2 - Witches... All of them witches!

quote 3 - Come with us quietly, Rosemary. Don't argue or make a scene. Because if you say anything more about witches or witchcraft, we're gonna be forced to take you to a mental hospital. You don't want that, do you?
(Rosemary's Baby - Answered by Rowena)

What came first, the music or the misery? People worry about kids playing with guns or watching violent videos afraid that some sort of culture of violence will take them over. Nobody worries about kids listening to thousands, literally thousands, of songs about heartbreak, rejection, pain, misery, and loss. Did I listen to pop music because I was miserable? Or was I miserable because I listened to pop music?
(High Fidelity - Answered by Phil)

She's fair game, Joe. It's always open season on princesses.
(Roman Holiday - Answered by Marion)

What am I gonna say? 'I killed the president of Paraguay with a fork. How have you been?'
(Grosse Pointe Blank - Answered by Phil)

- You were a bluebird. You were a Brownie. You were a girl-scout cookie. I got you into a Remington party and what's my thanks!? It's on the hallway carpet! I got paid in puke!
- Lick it up baby. Lick it up!

quote 2 - Ram and I died the day we realised we could never reveal our forbidden love to an uncaring and un-understanding world. The joy we shared in each other's arms was greater than any touchdown. Yet we were forced to live the lie of sexist, beer-guzzling, jock assholes!

(Heathers - Answered by General Boy)

- What are you afraid of, a fate worse than death?
- No, just death. Isn't that enough?

quote 2 - Monkey's brains, though popular in Cantonese cuisine, are not often to be found in Washington D.C.

quote 3 - This is war, Peacock! Casualties are inevitable. You cannot make an omelet with out breaking eggs, every cook'll tell you that.
- But look what happened to the cook!

- Are you the president's dog trainer?
- I'm John Dean, Chief Whitehouse counsel.
-...ohh that's too bad.
(Dick - Answered by Phil)

- She's like a queen bee with her pick of the drones.
- I'd say she's doing a woman's hardest job: juggling wolves.

quote 2 - -Why does a man leave his house three times on a rainy night and come back three times?
-Maybe he likes the way his wife welcomes him home.

quote 3 - He killed a dog last night because the dog was scratching around in the garden. You know why? Because he had something buried in that garden that the dog scented.
- Like an old hambone?
- I don't know what pet names Thorwald had for his wife.
Rear Window (Answered by Egghead)

- Speak for yourself.
- Do you think I'd speak for you? I don't even know your language!

quote 2 - Does Barry Manilow know that you raid his wardrobe?
(The Breakfast Club - Answered by Phil)

I'm taking a remedial high school art class for retards and fuck-ups.

quote 2- Dear Josh, we came by to fuck you but you were not home. Therefore you are gay, signed Tiffany and Amber.

(Ghost World - Answered by Jezzy)

Keep icing your front bottom!

quote 2 - It says 12 original songs by Dr. Desmond Forrest Oats. I'll tell you what it doesn't say...it doesn't say additional lyrics by little ms sassy pants.

quote 3 - - You know that song Pocket Full Of Dreams?
- Yah, down here we call it Pocket Full of Ass.

- Can I trouble you for a glass of warm milk?
- You can trouble me for a glass of shut the fuck up.

quote 2 - My fingers hurt.
- What is that?
- My fingers hurt.
- Oh, well now your back's gonna hurt because you just pulled garden duty. Anyone else's fingers hurt?
(Happy Gilmore - Answered by Jac)

I'm asking you to marry me you little fool!

quote 2 - Mrs. Danvers I want you to get rid of all these things
- But these are Mrs. De-Winters things
-I am Mrs. De-Winter now

(Rebecca - Answered by Hayley)

- Are you ready to order?
- Yes, goddammit. I'm going to have the fucking poached salmon, with the son-of-a-bitching rice, and a dirty bastard salad with a shitload of Roquefort dressing. Thank you. And um, who knows what this asshole wants.
-Uh, I'll just take a fucking beer.

quote 2 - Oh, that's just what we call ourselves, you see. I'm a United States Marine. It's okay if we say it but if a squid says it (ya know a sailor) then it's fist city! But it's alright if, er, a woman says it, especially if she can sing as good as you can.

quote 3- My name's Buell, but people call me Oakie...You can call me Oakie... If you want to...
Dogfight (Answered by Ethelinde)

- You got a joint?
- No
- ...Be a lot cooler if you did!
(Dazed and Confused - Answered by Phil)

- Can you stop watching TV for a minute?
- No.
- Why?
- Because. I had a bad day at work. I had to subvert my principles and kow-tow to an idiot. Television makes these daily sacrifices possible. Deadens the inner core of my being.
(Trust - Answered by Phil)

We knew the girls were really women in disguise, that they understood love, and even death, and that our job was merely to create the noise that seemed to fascinate them.
(The Virgin Suicides - Answered by Phil)

You're not shy. You're a lawyer.

quote 2 - This letter has three typing errors in it, one of which is, I believe, a spelling error.
(Secretary - Answered by Amanda)

Everything begins and ends at exactly the right time and place
(Picnic at Hanging Rock - Answered by Phil)

Since we're talking movies I'm going to reference one of my all time favourite movie soundtracks for Musical Monday today; Dazed and Confused. I was introduced to Dazed and Confused via Bro, who bought the soundtrack and borrowed the movie from the video store before I had even heard of it. I am known as a bit of a movie freak among my friends but to be truthful I am nothing on my brother. Let's put it this way, back in the day all major video stores knew my brother by name. Not just one video store, all of them. I don't visit the video store quite so often but I am a regular at the cinema. I go often. Very often. Without hesitation most of my disposable cash goes there. If I'm down to my last $20, more often than not I'm spending it on one last film before I'm forced into baked bean territory. Is it an addiction? Yes, but happily so.

Movie soundtracks are some of my favourite albums to buy too - and Dazed and Confused is one of those soundtracks that started out as my Bro's but is now mine. I stole it. I reason that it belonged with me all along. I came across it at a time where I was really getting into 70s music and interested in the 70s in general. I still have a fascination with the era. It was an era that existed (it seemed) in retaliation to the peace/love philosophy of the hippies. By the time Watergate happened the illusion of 'we shall overcome' was well and truly over. Reality had set in and what a gritty one it was. The 70s were MESSY, politically speaking, musically speaking, culturally speaking... and I love that about it. Music during the 70s was amazing. Like with anything there is bad AND good, but there was such a strong mix of styles which all competed to come out on top. Disco, pop, rock, metal, punk, RnB - all really took hold in the 70s. Furthermore, a lot of the music I loved in the 90s was a throw-back to 70s punk and rock and so I became a little obsessed with movies in the 90s that referenced the 70s and likewise became enamored of the soundtracks too. I remember the 80s being an era of "hate the 70s" - and a direct reaction to it - much like the 70s was to the 60s. It's funny how that happens.

Anyway, Dazed and Confused has a solid soundtrack and the movie itself is front and centre on my shelf. If you haven't seen it, I strongly recommend it - not just for the music but for the 'coming of age', the social commentary, the humour and the nostalgia. It's brilliantly made.

As for the songs. I find it hard to pick a few. My first choice was Stranglehold - Ted Nugent, but I can't find it on RBClub. These will have to do.

Slow Ride - Foghat

Low Rider - War

Remember the movie meme!

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Monday, March 17, 2008

time turning, over and over

If there any any of you still reading this...

Since you guys never play along on your blogs, and since not even the big man himself is playing along lately then I'm going to ask YOU to give me ONE song that YOU love. For those of you playing at home, I'll make the songs into a CD and play it in my car on the way to work (that's a high honour).

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Monday, March 10, 2008


Stuff I'm just loving right now.

Innovative Internets:

Wainy Days

(That link takes you straight to the site mydamnchannel which has all the episodes - is better quality than below - YouTube version)

This is a new internet channel show (actually it's been around for a while) created by the masterful and hilarious David Wain (whom I am going to go on record right now as LOVING and wanting to have his babies). The show takes a look at the dating dos and do nots of a perpetually single guy in his late 30s living in NYC. So far there are 20 episodes of completely inappropriate humour that often goes way too far and answers the eternal question: So THAT'S what they're really thinking. Okay, not really but it's HILARIOUS. Love how all the friends work in a sweat shop. What's with that?

Many special guest stars - mostly from old projects like The State, Stella and Wet Hot American Summer.

I love this show so much it hurts <3<3<3

(If you're over at MyDamnChannel I also highly recommend the soap opera spoof "Horrible People" and "You Suck at Photoshop" which are both also HILARIOUS!)

US Cable TV


This one is old news but for those who have not been initiated yet Dexter is the nicest sociopathic serial killer you could ever hope to meet. He's on the Miami Police Force payroll as a blood splatter expert and he only kills people who really deserve it. Honest. No one has a clue that he's a serial killer...well not yet anyway. His adopted father (a cop) taught him how to cover his tracks and Dexter has been following his golden rules to great success so far. The problem is that his sister's also on the force and she's getting a little too close for comfort...

A must see, definitely one of the best shows coming out of the US.

Superficial TV


Only a few people are really going to appreciate this one but I'm putting it out there anyway. Take one big Geek from high school and put him in college (sounding a little like Undeclared so far eh?) where his geekiness shines on like a crazy diamond. The problem is that his sister is the most popular girl on campus - uh oh. Bro comes along and makes friends with his sister's secret ex boyfriend who is not exactly the kind of clean cut all American boy that sis wants to be associated with anymore. Things start to get a little complicated for all concerned when it turns out that sis still has a thing for the bad boy ...which is probably not a good idea, since she's going out with Mr Big Man on Campus.

Seriously much less superficial than I've made it sound. No really it is. Okay not that much less superficial, but still good tele.

The lead guy is also in the show "Quarterlife", which started out like Wainy Days, as an internet short. It centers around a 20-something girl who blogs all day about her friends and housemates. Unfortunately they all discover her blog and she has to explain herself.

Reality TV

Project Runway.

I have been loving this show for years now. It never gets old. Take a bunch of struggling fashion designers and give them horrendously early deadlines by which to finish major pieces of fashion extravaganza that are challenging to make (ie: using only materials from the Hersey's chocolate store??). Then they all parade their models down the catwalk and the worst outfit is eliminated with a swift auf Wiedersehen from host; Heidi Klum. Brilliant and engaging reality TV! The contestants are amazingly talented people with a desire to succeed. The prize is a show at New York Fashion week and money to start your own business. As someone related to a fashion designer I know how difficult this industry is. The real star of the show however is Tim Gunn who is the contestant's mentor and father figure.

"Make it work!" <3

Retro Love

You know how back in the old days you'd make a mix tape for the people you love? Do you feel that a mix CD is a bit ...I dunno; sterile? Do you actually know anyone who still plays tapes with any kind of regularity?

I love me a mix tape and here you have all the joy of a mix tape without the fuss of actually dealing with rewinding and fast forwarding through the songs you hate (for youngies...yes that's what we used to do back in the old days). It's a USB stick of around 60minutes of playing time that fits nicely into the tape for packaging purposes. You get to scribble all over the liner card and the gift recipient gets to keep a lovely keepsake while still enjoying the convenience of plugging that sucker into the laptop and downloading all those songs onto his/her ipod. Seriously, cool AND filled with squishy retro love.



click link to go to a video news story about the show and murders

All this killing and stuff went right on in my backyard (so to speak). Makes ya proud don't it? Yeah, okay maybe not. Carl Williams is apparently unhappy with his portrayal on the show. Christ, beggars can't be choosers mate.

Oz Blog

The Breakfast Blog

Right now he's in Boston so it's all a bit pointless and boring, but once he gets back to Melbourne it'll be full steam ahead for The Breakfast Blog. The thing I love about this site, besides the fact that it details one of my favourite things (a good breakie ...that I don't have to cook) the site is remarkably easy to navigate and just all round informative. It gives you details on the price (with the nifty price index tag), tells you where the place is, indexes in alphabetical order, location AND by top scores. I love it. I use it. It's brilliant and Jamie is rarely wrong. The man knows a good breakfast!




I know I should somehow feel ashamed but actually I don't. I am, for the record the world's WORST scrabble player. I did not grow up playing scrabble on Sunday evenings and drinking chocolate milk while my parents played footsies with each other under the coffee table while listening to Tapestry on the record player. Sorry, you must have be mixed up with the Keatons or the Seavers. I think I must be trying to relive the youth I never had or something because I'm totally into the scrabble revival!

Yes, I totally look up words online and cheat. pfcha! Course!


Nylon. It's quirky, it's Rock N Roll, it's totally fashion oriented but in a completely approachable way (finally!). It's just fun. It doesn't feel like it's only for girls though I suppose girls mostly read it. It's a little on the expensive side though.

There is an Australian magazine which I love just as much: Frankie - and REALLY love the fact that it comes with a rip out poster that I always put aside and use as wrapping paper. I like a mag that provides a little something extra.

Poster - dude, because Ro edits it and because it's swish and glam and makes me wish I was about a million times more stylish than I actually am. It's art, fashion, it's a city scape all in one - it's not your usual kind of magazine. This one is seriously going to go places. It already has in fact. <3


Quirkyalone: A Manifesto for Uncompromising Romantics - Sasha Cagen

Reading To-Do List recently made me go back and re-read this old gem which Cagen wrote first. I'm more convinced now than ever that I'm a bona fide quirkyalone. It's a manifesto for all those eternally single people - not just girls mind you. Read the essay here. It explains a lot.


The King Of Kong

I recently went to see this little documentary for a laugh but I became so emotionally involved that I almost scared myself. In fact the whole cinema was booing and cheering a long with it - unheard of in Melbourne!

If you go see one thing at the cinema this year make it this movie - go RIGHT NOW. You will not regret it - you can not make this stuff up. This is a documentary about playing the arcade game Donkey Kong - remember that one? Anyone who was a kid in the 80s would remember the game, it's a classic. This documentary shows the seedy underbelly of video gaming - a side of gaming that is run by manipulation, threat and a man frightened of losing his world record score to a newcomer.

It's so very good. <3<3

And there you have the stuff I'm loving right now.

What are you loving? Share!

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Sunday, March 09, 2008

The Sundays on Sunday ... for Monday.

Finally. FINALLY a politician has come out and said what needed to be said re: education. It's so simple and full of common sense that I'm surprised it isn't said more often, or quite frankly done more often.

Barak Obama would have my vote (if it counted), based only on this speech, if nothing else. Surely a man who is so practical in this area must be practical in other areas too.

Here's the taped footage..

But for those of you unwilling to watch (oh it's an eye opener alright) - he hits gold at about the 3 minute mark with this gem:

“It’s not good enough for you to say to your child, ‘Do good in school,’ and then when that child comes home, you’ve got the TV set on,”

“You’ve got the radio on. You don’t check their homework. There’s not a book in the house. You’ve got the video game playing.”

“So turn off the TV set. Put the video game away. Buy a little desk. Or put that child at the kitchen table. Watch them do their homework. If they don’t know how to do it, give ‘em help. If you don’t know how to do it, call the teacher.”

“Make ‘em go to bed at a reasonable time! Keep ‘em off the streets! Give ‘em some breakfast! Come on! Can I get an amen here?”

“You know I’m right,”

“And, since I’m on a roll, if your child misbehaves in school, don’t cuss out the teacher! You know I’m right about that! Don’t cuss out the teacher! Do something with your child!”

HELL YES! FINALLY the truth is out. Parents, need to parent. Weird idea I know, but the way I see it is if you have them, then you should raise them. Education doesn't stop and start at the school gate.

I can't remember any time when any politician has made such a statement about individual responsibility - that is, even though it's true. The students I see succeeding are students who:

1) come from money (I don't necessarily mean rich but I do mean they don't have many worries about money for instance; they DO NOT have to worry about the basics, food, water, shelter - and by extension emotional support - yes it's related)
2) come from families that INSIST, hard line, on all those things Obama talks about in his speech.

It's not about catering for gifted and talented children. Or blaming teachers for not teaching properly and thus creating a panic about our test results (for the record Australia has one of the BEST education systems in the world, backed up by world data (OECD - PISA). However the way the media carries on you'd think we were failing). Bottom line is that we need to start being practical about this stuff.

How do we expect kids to learn, if they aren't getting any support at home? Any teacher in the world will tell you that it is a FACT that children who don't get home support by and large struggle. If they don't then they are doing so against the odds. We see exactly how home life helps and hinders children in the classroom. Thinking a child turns the home switch off when they enter a classroom is a mistake politicians have made for far too long when it comes to making policies about in classroom curriculum. This is not the way to improve the way kids learn. We can't ignore the influence of the most important people in a child's life: their parents! It's time a mirror was held up. I'm glad the day has come.


Enough ranting, onto Musical Monday - which takes me back to the early 90s waiting for the school bus on windy spring afternoons with my friend Gil. The bus stop was in front of this charming, well maintained art deco house inhabited by a lovely elderly gent who would always wander outside to chat to the youngsters stepping all over his roses with scruffy black shoes and socks that just wouldn't stay up. One day - and I remember it well for some reason - Gil told me about this band she'd heard about called The Sundays - and they, along with Ratcat were her new favourite bands. I thought it sounded like a whimsical name for a band and later discovered they really were rather whimsical sounding in music as well.

Whenever I hear The Sundays I think of Gil and springtime and how we impatiently waited for the bus every afternoon, and how often I'd just pack it in and walk home instead - stopping every few meters to pull up my socks and adjust the volume on my walkman.

I heard the old guy died not too long after I finished high school. I drove past that art deco house the other day but it was graffitied and condemned. I wonder why no one has bought and renovated it? It's a sad sight and a ghostly remainder from a more glorious time.

Here's Where the Story Ends - The Sundays

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Friday, March 07, 2008

To Whom it may ..

Dear Ikea shopper,

You are a big wanker. Wanker, Wanker, Wanker, Wanker, WANKER, WANKER, WANKER! ARGH!!

You've got your crappy do-it-yourself bed now MOVE ALONG CHUMP! MOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOVE!!!

No, you DON'T have to double check every single FUCKING package at the checkout! Just don't! DON'T! You don't say to the checkout lady "hm, I think I might have 8 items" when in fact she scanned 7 and then spend the NEXT FIVE MINUTES searching endlessly for this mystery 8th item THAT ISN'T EVEN THERE. She scanned 7, GREAT! You just count your lucky stars that you're not paying for 8 and MOVE THE FUCK ALONG! No, don't INSIST on looking for it! The only think I insist is that you are a GRADE A (in capitals) WANKER. You know when you SHOULD have done that shit? WHEN YOU AND WIFEY WERE GETTING IT OFF THE FUCKING SHELF. Yes, checking items when you get them off the shelf may be like inventing fire to idiots like you but I maintain that it's a GREAT time to make sure you have your shit together. Guess what? There's TWO of you. that means that one gets it off the shelf and the other one DOES NOT STAND THERE GIGGLING LIKE SOME MORON, it's her job to check the shit so that you don't embarrass yourselves at the counter. How's that for a plan, team USA? Why would that be a good idea? Oh I don't know, maybe it's because people like me who know what they want are standing right behind you with my 1 item that should me about 2 MINUTES to get through the register with.. but nooooooo you turn what should have been an easy 2 minute journey into a 15 minute HELL RIDE TO SHITSVILLE!

I hate you....wanker!

Ikea shopper who actually knows what they are doing.

Dear people in charge of my Education region,

That conversation we had the other day really depressed me. I really felt like that was the last thing I needed to hear about my profession that day. I'm already hanging on by a thread.

For the record, no I don't think that teachers get too much PD and no I don't think that we should be doing more in house PD instead of going out and getting trained by specialists. No I don't think we should be letting the information filter down from teacher to teacher. When exactly do you think we have time to do all this in house networking? Do you realise how exhausted a day of teaching makes you? No, of COURSE you don't, you're a paper pusher. I don't think you understand very much at all. If you stop training teachers to be BETTER teachers then you will get exactly what you foster: CRAP TEACHERS WHO NEVER LEARN ANYTHING NEW.

I feel sad. I feel abandoned by the very people who are supposed to represent my needs. But you don't. You represent the almighty dollar. I don't know if I want to be part of your organisation anymore.

You suck!


Disillusioned teacher.

Dear Parent who came into my classroom today,

Thank you for saying what you said. Yes I'm chuffed that my group of parents "feel very, very lucky to have Miss F as a teacher". I thought it would be the opposite because of the art room thing. Personally I think being in the art room for a couple of years has made me a better CLASSROOM teacher than I was before but I never thought that parents would give me a chance. I thought I would have been eaten alive without a trail. I'm so happy that you said that my reputation pre-art and in the classroom proceeded me.

Thank you!


Your Daughter's Teacher.

Dear Friend,

I love you, I really do but I think it's totally bogan to go to the bottle shop and buy one of those little bottles of bubbly and drink it at a restaurant without ordering anything else.

Sorry, no I won't join you in a glass - I'm going to actually order something off the menu.

Am a bit Shocked to tell you the truth.


Dear S,

No, updating your "status" as "moving house" isn't actually the same as letting someone know that you've moved. We've only known each other for ooo... 18 years so I thought I'd at least qualify for a text.

Access to technology is great but it's not a substitute for good old fashioned courtesy.


Well, Not Love...Obviously.

Dear #1,

Love Baby S. I really do. I will sit and listen to all the crappy stories about how he bumps into walls and won't fall asleep. I'll sympathise and empathise and other "ises" ...anything, you're my friend. HOWEVER, being at the 1st birthday party was excruciating! I hated every second of it. It's no place for a single gal. You babied up folk are ...well you're really down right scary sometimes. It's frightening and I wanted to leave about 10 minutes after I got there. I really don't belong and I'm not sure I want to belong either. You're all cuckoo for coco pops - sorry but it's true. I hope you're not offended. I DID buy a really cool present.


Weirded out by babied up people.

Dear Mazda Driver,

I have memorised your car. Get on the Freeway going 80kms again and I swear to God I will hunt you down and rip out your still-beating heart. You think I have anger management issues? Well you're quite possibly right but you STILL need to get the in the left lane and STAY THERE FOREVER bucko! Or better yet, take a taxi. I don't understand why people like you even WANT to get on the freeway in the first place. What's the attraction: Pissing people off? We have plenty of roads out there where you can go 60kms or EVEN 40kms on school days! Sounds like your kind of speed to me.


Late for Work and other Appointments.

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Monday, March 03, 2008

Prince Charming meets Georgie Porgie!

me: J if you keep kissing the girls you're going to make them cry!
J: *grinning*
me: no, I'm serious. You're not allowed to do this anymore or I'm going to make you marry the very next girl you kiss and you're going to have to go straight out to get a job so you can support her.
J: *looking a little worried*.

The thing is I've got this little Don Juan in my grade. He's all of 5 and has all the charm in the world nestled in his pinky finger and has used this to great advantage in order to erm...go through many girls in my grade. He has also been caught kissing with girls twice his age and flirting with anyone who will pay him attention.

Many years ago now I taught his brother and let me tell you - his brother had none of this special charm. There was no kissing of girls with him. In fact, as I remember girls were pretty much only just a mouth on legs that used the "other" toilets - nothing interesting in them at all. Meanwhile, Prince Charming 2008 is wowing them left right and center. I find the whole business fascinating.

Is charm something in the gene or something learned? There are some people that seem to naturally possess a certain kind of charm. It's just in their manner, the way that they seem to put everyone at ease, not just the target of their fancy. I maintain that charming people are utterly charming to everyone, the other kind (charming only to those you want to impress) of person is smarmy, not charming. The other kind has a little bit of Georgie Porgie about him.

Somehow J has inherited this special charm quality while his older brother did not. I feel that J will have a better time of it somehow...well that is until the inevitable happens: the backlash. Already there are niggles of it. One girl has said that she is J's girlfriend and another retorted that "no, *I'M* his girlfriend!!". Uh oh, this could get ugly - girls are into commitment and they're not going to be nice about it when things go wrong.

Do you think charm is born or learned?
Know any Prince Charmings? Do you fall easily for that - is it impossible not to?
How about Georgie Porgie? Was he a man misunderstood or simply a sleaze bag?
Is there a fine line between Prince Charming and Georgie Porgie? Is it all in the eyes of the beholder?

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Sunday, March 02, 2008

not a to-do list

I've been reading Sasha Cagen's new book "To-do List", which is an interesting exploration of why people make lists and for what purpose they do so. The way I think about things is often in a chaotic way. I am not am ordered person by any stretch of the imagination - I constantly flirt from one thought to another often without regard to whomever is listening (yes, I do it when talking/writing too).

I'm miscellaneous to the extreme but there are other parts of my personality that are all about being exacting and precise. I like the idea of being an ordered person but at the same time people who actually ARE really disturb me. Regardless, I do make lists, I never stick to them and often after I make them I invariably lose them somewhere and end up following what I like to think of as the holistic approach to getting things done, but is really about just hoping that things come together at the last minute. Often my lists are as chaotic as myself. I start off with what I might need to buy at the supermarket but end up somehow at point #13 or so with "change the world" and/or "figure out a way to fit all my CDs in my car without them ending up on the floor" - depending where my thoughts are at that time. I'm not sure how I imagined I would somehow change the world (or my car cleanliness habits) between 9 and 11am on a Sunday morning but somehow that's just how things work in my head. I like making lists.

Here is one of my more ordered lists - mostly because the topic "things I wonder about" is so miscellaneous in itself.

In other news has anyone seen the new Joy Division documentary currently screening at Nova? I'm a big fan of JD as well as New Order. Ian Curtis' story is such a sad one and it was interesting to hear the former band mates' take on his suicide and their surprise at it and ..even guilt. The doco has come out on the heels of the movie Control which told the story of Ian Curtis' life. I meant to play Joy Division as my Musical Monday after seeing Control but something got in the way. I won't let it happen this time. The band was too good to be forgotten a second time - dark but so, so good.

Love Will Tear Us Apart - Joy Division

Transmission - Joy Division

Atmosphere - Joy Division

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