Wednesday, November 30, 2011

lightbulb moment

I have come to realise that these (now) monthly visits with MVOR, the genteel lady with whom I share my innermost thoughts, are not going to fix me. There is no fixing this state of mind I carry around with me.
There's no cancer to isolate.
There's no lump to remove.
There's no ...waiting it out with bed rest until it goes away.

This half nutty, soul destroying melancholic anti-heroine didn't just happen when I awoke one morning. She was created from conception to survive the Big Bang of my life. She was created, like some kind of terminator to keep living and keep doing its job at all costs, eventually acting on its own accord at its own pace.

I've done a thorough job on her, yes I have and she, in turn has repaid the favor and done a thorough job on me.

She is in the bone and the mind and the blood - coursing like traffic on the Eastern Fwy in peak hour. There is very little that keeps me from surrendering completely to her and that is the tiny glittering hope, like a mirage in the driest desert that things will turn around.

I hate that hope. It's a tormenter and a tease and yet
...it's there. Blinking away in my peripheral vision.
I guess I left a light on somewhere.
I guess.

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Monday, November 21, 2011


When I was a little kid and morning television was filled with re-runs of old shows from the 50s an everyday run of the mill family looked like this:

There you have the quintessential respectable family. No messing around with mum and and dad here. No siree. These folks would ground you faster than you could say 'awww shucks', just for sassing your mother! Watch out.

Then by the time I was in Primary School in the mid to late 80s the modern family looked a little like this:

Again, perfectly normal looking family (even if there are a few tragic fashion mistakes). Can't mistake dad here! There he is in the middle growing enough facial hair to make a coat. Where's mum? Oh there she is, looking mum-ish. These are the folks you want to go see when your boyfriend breaks up with you and you don't know what to do or when you need help with your calculus final.

By the time I was a teen "mom and pops" looked more like this:

or this:

or this:

Yep, no mistaking in any way shape or form who mum and dad are in any of these families. Kinda weary. Kinda tired with a bit of grey creeping in. Looking like they've been around the block a time or two... as it should be. I mean, their kids are TEENAGERS! How fresh faced can you be?

Lately I've noticed that either I'm getting really fucking old or TV mums and dads are pretty much the same age as their kids!

We've got this from The Secret Circle:

and this:

They are apparently parents of 17 year old kids. What's that you say? How can these man-children have produced enough sperm to father anyone above the age of 7? I'm wondering the same thing folks. It's clearly a Christmas miracle...like Jesus!

Then we have the parent group from Life Unexpected:


and THIS:

LIFE Unexpected? Parents unexpected more like it. But... but isn't that the guy from Dawson's Creek? The same Dawson's Creek that had Katie Holmes in it... the same Katie Holmes who now has a 3 year old daughter with a crazy man? Yes, 3 years old, not 17 years old! The mind boggles.

And what about these two knuckleheads from Awkward?:

They have a 16 year old daughter you say? Seriously? SERIOUSLY?

And when I saw this recently I literally spit my coffee out at the screen;

Yes, that's right. That's the guy from Clueless - the one who left his Cranberries CD in the quad and wanted to go get it before somebody 'snagged' it.

...Yeah, I remember the Cranberries. They were around when I was in high school. I also remember watching Clueless when I was a teen. Funnily enough, in Clueless the dad looked like this:

...which looks NOTHING like

and yet they are both supposed to father 16 year old girls. I'm sure it could biologically happen but that doesn't mean that it's NORMAL.

What is going on in TV land? Am I crazy or do modern day TV parents look completely unfit to be doing anything except navigating a hard day of doing beer bongs in the backyard while sitting on their outdoor sofa couch donated from grandma who also happens to slip them a $50 every now and again to 'tide them over'?

I really can't wait until Dakota Fanning's younger sister turns up as the mother of a 34 year old in next season's premiere of "Just a Normal Family".

I may have to stick to re-runs of The Beave..

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