Saturday, October 31, 2009


After 7 months of living here I’ve discovered a few liabilities.

•You cannot leave late for work. If you leave late, you are stuck in the kind of traffic that allows a girl to do a whole face of makeup without having to move forward an inch. Not that I do my make up in the car or anything.. Well, not on days that I’m not running late, anyway.

•Cops – there are lots of them around. I’ve go nothing (personal) against cops or anything but they kind of scare me. I mean they’re only around if baddies are around, right? You don’t see cops in the leafy green Eastern suburbs that’s all I’m saying. Also lots of cops driving around makes it really hard to do my make up in the car of a morning. Not that I do that.. I’m thinking of the other girls. How unfair for them.

•Homeless guy that talks to walls. Technically he’s not really in my neighbourhood but I see him occasionally as I’m putting on blush while driving to work. He makes me sad. Who knew what he was like in a previous life? Maybe he was a teacher? There’s very little that separates the two of us except maybe bad choices, and even then not all choices are created equally. Who’s to say that one bad choice won’t send me hurtling down the same path as homeless wall guy? Hell, I talk to walls too, it’s just that I happen to own them, so I can talk to them privately. He has to borrow his.

•Helicopters circling low on certain Saturdays in Spring destroying any chance of a sleep in.

•Sharing my space with young ladies who start the day off in heels and a hat and a clutch full of betting cash and end up broke, in thongs and spewing champagne on the side of the road. Classy.

Question for my err ...friend: Living alone, you open a bottle of wine on Monday night to have a glass with dinner. What’s the shortest amount of time that the bottle can/should last without proclaiming the …err friend, a lush?

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