[Miscellany]

M is admiring her first tomato growing in her makeshift balcony garden.
M is trying to figure out how she can find a better job.
M is wondering what that mythical job might be.
M has resolved to explore her power, and use it...whatever the fuck that means.
M is confused about why so many women think that Tom Jones is hot.
M is not moving from the couch any time soon.
M is reading trashy books and eating bad food.
M is really happy she found episodes of Chicago Hope, online, even though it's a little pathetic.
M is tossing up between Vodafone and Optus plans.
M is giving other people Christmas presents she actually wants to keep for herself.
M is planning on getting thoroughly sloshed, very soon, in a lush like manner without any regard for the consequences.
M desperately wishes she was in London for Christmas.
M can't wait to say good riddance to 2009.
M has felt a little numb all year.
M feels like she's always crossing bridges rather than finally arriving at the supreme destination.
M has been feeling a whole bunch of "can't be bothered" this year.
M can't say half the stuff she needs to.
M might go have a nanna nap.

Labels: facebook entry, the list

posted by M at 2:43 pm 9 comments

After 7 months of living here I’ve discovered a few liabilities.

•You cannot leave late for work. If you leave late, you are stuck in the kind of traffic that allows a girl to do a whole face of makeup without having to move forward an inch. Not that I do my make up in the car or anything.. Well, not on days that I’m not running late, anyway.

•Cops – there are lots of them around. I’ve go nothing (personal) against cops or anything but they kind of scare me. I mean they’re only around if baddies are around, right? You don’t see cops in the leafy green Eastern suburbs that’s all I’m saying. Also lots of cops driving around makes it really hard to do my make up in the car of a morning. Not that I do that.. I’m thinking of the other girls. How unfair for them.

•Homeless guy that talks to walls. Technically he’s not really in my neighbourhood but I see him occasionally as I’m putting on blush while driving to work. He makes me sad. Who knew what he was like in a previous life? Maybe he was a teacher? There’s very little that separates the two of us except maybe bad choices, and even then not all choices are created equally. Who’s to say that one bad choice won’t send me hurtling down the same path as homeless wall guy? Hell, I talk to walls too, it’s just that I happen to own them, so I can talk to them privately. He has to borrow his.

•Helicopters circling low on certain Saturdays in Spring destroying any chance of a sleep in.

•Sharing my space with young ladies who start the day off in heels and a hat and a clutch full of betting cash and end up broke, in thongs and spewing champagne on the side of the road. Classy.

Question for my err ...friend: Living alone, you open a bottle of wine on Monday night to have a glass with dinner. What’s the shortest amount of time that the bottle can/should last without proclaiming the …err friend, a lush?

Labels: questions, rant, the list, wonderings

posted by M at 10:54 am 10 comments

* Is it wrong to wish for Swine Flu? Two local-ish schools have been closed down due to it recently and ... well, a girl can dream can't she? It may be wrong, but at least it's something to strive for.

* Reports are due tomorrow... haven't started. I've taken procrastination to a whole new level this year. I was reading a book recently about the burn out that 30 somethings feel when it comes to their career. In a manner of speaking, I've lost my "give a shit". Probably not so good when you're in my industry. Also, especially bad when you have a bad case of foot in mouth-itis. On a good day I'm known for saying things I shouldn't, and so now that I've lost my "give a shit" then I'm really in the poo. That part of me that keeps things in check, that sits on my shoulder and tells me to shut it, has packed her bags and gone to FNQ for an extended holiday. Meanwhile big mouth is offending people all over the place. Oops (nah, don't care).

* I happened across episodes of "That 80s Show". Did anyone else ever watch this? It's basically about a guy and his family living in the 80s. Sort of like That 70s show but less funny and with less cute boys in it. Despite the bad acting, rough production and dubious storyline I still loved it though. Now that I'm watching it I'm kinda bummed all over again about it being axed. Meanwhile, Law and Order or CSI or whatever has spin offs galore.

* I did something bad. Very, very bad. I watched the movie The Lake House AND understood it. Okay, I lie. I watched it TWICE in order to understand it. Yes, you see I WANTED to understand it and DIDN'T have enough brains to get it the first time so I watched it AGAIN! Then I did a whole bunch of THINKING about it in order to really cement the idea in my head. Yes, I was INTERESTED enough in the movie to dedicate 4 hours instead of 2 of MY LIFE towards understanding it. That's pretty fucked up. I can't think of anything I've done lately that compares to this level of loserness and that is saying a lot. Do you think I'm mentally challenged (read: retarded)?

* I want a big wall clock to hang on my wall. I want somethig quirky but not stupid (ie: NOT a cat with eyes that go side to side and tail pendulum). Nothing I've seen at the shops really does it for me. Does anyone know any cool websites that have BIG wall clocks?

Labels: bad things, dumb, lemon out, random, the list, things that people with low IQ do

posted by M at 10:12 pm 8 comments

If there any any of you still reading this...

Since you guys never play along on your blogs, and since not even the big man himself is playing along lately then I'm going to ask YOU to give me ONE song that YOU love. For those of you playing at home, I'll make the songs into a CD and play it in my car on the way to work (that's a high honour).

Labels: bloom, life, no musical monday today, questions, the list, wonderings, writing

posted by M at 10:11 pm 27 comments

I've been reading Sasha Cagen's new book "To-do List", which is an interesting exploration of why people make lists and for what purpose they do so. The way I think about things is often in a chaotic way. I am not am ordered person by any stretch of the imagination - I constantly flirt from one thought to another often without regard to whomever is listening (yes, I do it when talking/writing too).

I'm miscellaneous to the extreme but there are other parts of my personality that are all about being exacting and precise. I like the idea of being an ordered person but at the same time people who actually ARE really disturb me. Regardless, I do make lists, I never stick to them and often after I make them I invariably lose them somewhere and end up following what I like to think of as the holistic approach to getting things done, but is really about just hoping that things come together at the last minute. Often my lists are as chaotic as myself. I start off with what I might need to buy at the supermarket but end up somehow at point #13 or so with "change the world" and/or "figure out a way to fit all my CDs in my car without them ending up on the floor" - depending where my thoughts are at that time. I'm not sure how I imagined I would somehow change the world (or my car cleanliness habits) between 9 and 11am on a Sunday morning but somehow that's just how things work in my head. I like making lists.

Here is one of my more ordered lists - mostly because the topic "things I wonder about" is so miscellaneous in itself.




In other news has anyone seen the new Joy Division documentary currently screening at Nova? I'm a big fan of JD as well as New Order. Ian Curtis' story is such a sad one and it was interesting to hear the former band mates' take on his suicide and their surprise at it and ..even guilt. The doco has come out on the heels of the movie Control which told the story of Ian Curtis' life. I meant to play Joy Division as my Musical Monday after seeing Control but something got in the way. I won't let it happen this time. The band was too good to be forgotten a second time - dark but so, so good.

Love Will Tear Us Apart - Joy Division



Transmission - Joy Division



Atmosphere - Joy Division

Labels: don't worry it's not a poem just a list, musical monday, the list, to-do list

posted by M at 7:03 pm 11 comments

Australia day was served up to me this morning via a smallish flag atop a lovely dish of breakfast in North Melbourne as the sun beat down from the bluest sky. My post today is actually one that was from the old blog. I wrote it a few years ago but haven't posted it here and it's one of my favourite posts I've written about Australia day.

You might not get all the references and you know what? That's a good thing.

As Australian as..

a pot of cold beer (letting the kids drink the head), sunday cricket in the street, licking sunny boy dribble from down your arm on a 40 degree day, the insriparional words of Dorothea McKellar, fractured conversation in broken English from migrant women wearing black mourning clothes, souvlaki on the beach, Ned Kelly's last stand, the stolen generation, drinking good Italian coffee outside a busy trattoria, fluro zinc on the tip of your nose, drunken singing along to the Hunters and Collectors, fear of red backs, slip slop slap, playing under the sprinklers while the sky turns pink above you, stubby holders in your football team's colours, water bomb fights in the school yard, good yum cha, Cathy Freeman's two Australian flags, free settlers, European Migrants, Bloody stupid wogs, Indian accented Australians, Indigenous to the land, Aussie, Aussie, Aussie.. oi oi oi, a friendly smile, a rude joke, heavy rain after a scorching day, Bert Newton's hair piece, Ray Martin's hair piece, Aboriginal Art in New York City, "My home lies wide a thousand miles in the Never Never land", Tim Winton's famous waves breaking on the West Coast, Uluru; sacred heart of the red centre, the dichotomy of Steve Irwin; both ridiculous and knowledgeable, picnics by the Yarra, having a bet on the horses, staying up late to watch the world cup, watching the 7.30 report on Auntie, revering Parkinson as god of interviews, holidays in Bali, drug running in Indonesia, American sitcoms on the telly, listening to the crickets loud song reverberate well into the night, Australia shaped car aerials on a VWs, vegemite on toast for breakfast, matzah ball soup for dinner, Burka's adourned with beautiful broaches, duty free Bundy, coupling with GW, lamington drives, Dawn Fraser's magnificent trifecta, Foreign News on free to air telly, The First Fleet, swatting the flies from your face, "you call that a knife?", Holocaust survivors settling in Bondi, Whispering Jack, Kamahl, beaurocracy, Kylie Minogue's fake British accent, Jason Donovan gone bad, Greek Greengrocers who know their shit, really bad perm jobs, Fashion Week, bush fires leaving a black trail across the parched land, twisted gum trees reaching their spidery fingers towards the sky, Kebabs outside night clubs, the gay and lesbian mardi gras, Making fun of American reality television, Opera House tea cosies, Eiffel tower calendars, learning another language, watching old men play bocce at the local park, blogging, David Helfgott's mastery of classical piano, Baz Luhrman's quirky reappropriations on celluloid, leaving European history behind for prosperity in a new country, Mabo, Mambo, surfing, skate parks, homeboys holding their pants up yo!, Koala Bear (but it's not a bear!), embarrassed at ourselves, race riots at the beach, moshing at The Big Day Out 'till you pass out from heat exhaustion, Making fun of the politicians, men in suits wearing Burberry, men in stubbies wearing metho, arse not ass, shiraz, "Australia don't become America", a Maccas run at 3am, roast on the spit in the backyard, Buon Natale!, Happy Hannuka, a gift of dyed red eggs on Greek Easter from your neighbour, The Southern Cross; mother to us all, Waltzing Matilda; father to our theiving hearts, "not happy Jan", Pauline Hanson picking at the scab, the myth of Australian ethnicity?, performing ethnicity Helen Demidenko style, drinking Grappa and singing loudly until the neighbours call the cops, weird busking spacesuit guy on the corner of Burke and Swanston, Bluey, the Packer media empire, 8-up doc martins with pink laces, gothic babes in pleather, plumber's cleavage, Carlotta, Germaine Greer, Asian-Australian football league, Midnight Oil's heartfelt political diatribes, Schindler's List (yes Australian!), click go the sheers boy, "Hello Possums!", fighting against conscription, beatlemania, ABBA Down Under, John "bloody" Laws, Making fun of the Eurovision Song Contest, playing Scopa while drinking Fosters, absolutely refusing to go near Fosters, Molly Meldrum's hat, of course I can use chopsticks!, Multiculturalism, White Australia Policy, dole bludgers, Mandawuy Yunupingu, "I say Arthur", tai chi on the beach, raves at the docklands, muck up day, Truganini's determination, Rolf Harris' wobble board, Come on Aussie come on!, Fish and Chips, suishi in a classy restaurant, Aussie battlers, bloody whinging pomms, the reclaiming of the word 'wog' in order to make fun of Skippys, Shakespeare in the park, Sidney Nolan's historical accounts without using words, The big Pineapple, bush polka, ballet recitals, Macedonean wedding dances, the Japanese Gold Coast, still a Monarchy?, "you little beauty!", making and bottling your own spaghetti sauce for the year, "there was movement at the station for the word had passed around..", the Amercians poisoning Phar Lap?, Bicentenial coins for Australian children in 1988, take away curry, dim sims, The Rainbow Serpent creates land and life, bi-lingual families, European roots planted firmly at home (everywhere), working visa, dual citizenship, detention centre hunger strikes, diaspora; "from all the lands we come".

It was never really one thing, was it?

Labels: memories, oz, pop culture, the list

posted by M at 5:31 pm 15 comments

Toward the end of the week..
Photography class - assignment in.
Dinner with the girls.
..no babies.
Had a financial discussion.
Had an imaginary discussion with the bottom of a glass of red.
They might have been related..
Watched city people wander the streets
Fashionable ladies tapping a merry tune in high heels
the bald man talking to himself
a crazy predicting doom around the corner
and a girl in comfy looking flats and long raven wavy hair that billowed out behind her like a superhero cape.
Ate a lovely dinner
...in a restaurant that looked like the pits - but wasn't.
Saw a house I liked. Saw another house I liked.
Both had major issues.
Maybe I have major issues.
made the perfect batch of scrambled eggs.
Sang along loudly with the radio.
The toast burnt during my crescendo
..it was worth singing the song properly though.
Saw a movie, the whole cinema clapped the ending.
That never happens in Melbourne!
Another dinner - the restaurant looked nicer.
..the food wasn't as good.
looks can be deceiving.
Met family members I hadn't seen in 11 years.
I made them laugh with my stories of woe.
My life isn't so funny when I'm in a room alone, I have to admit.
Met a strange little girl who told me she was going to be a ballerina
...or just magic.
she hadn't decided yet.
She reminded me of me when I was that age.
I felt a bit like I should warn her
...that fairy dreams are fun until they come crashing down
but I didn't.
Made the perfect pizza from scratch
ate some.
Heard a song.
Love at first listen.
Isn't it great when that happens?


My Moon, My Man - Feist

Labels: don't worry it's not a poem just a list, melbourne musings, musical monday, the list, thoughts

posted by M at 10:05 pm 20 comments

It's almost midnight and I'm sitting in a comfy booth in Brunetti's eavesdropping on the conversation to my right. A group of about seven 20 somethings are huddled around a too small table and speaking animatedly and loudly - which is pretty indicative of the vibe here anyway. I remember the golden rule of Brunetti's: always circle for a table before you order, otherwise you might find yourself with a coffee but nowhere to sit or a table built for two but awkwardly accommodating 7.

Their conversation is indicative of university life. Going out on a weeknight, what lecturers they hate and what late assignments they still have to think up an excuse for. I find myself both wanting to be a part of their world and yet also happy that I'm not. My companion comes back with a selection of cakes and two cups of steaming coffee. I grab the cup with both hands and bring it up to my cheek, feeling the warmth there.

We're discussing a movie we'd both seen recently: The Last Kiss: L'Ultimo Bacio. A movie about a group of 20-something men who are scared of being trapped into marriage, babies and women. I lament these 20-something men, "does it get worse when they are 30 something I wonder"? My companion is being evasive "..yeeessss" he says slowly drawing the sound out until the last hiss disappears into the laughter of the coffee drinking crowd. "But it not true for everyone".

I make the sound I feel is most appropriate for this statement of his: "Duh".

I take my fork and make an incision into the Tiramisu, it doesn't taste as good as Tiramisu from a pasticceria section with this reputation should. I remember back to my own unimelb days when Brunetti was just a hole in the wall, a place for locals and people who 'knew' where to go for decent coffee and cake. I look at the procession line of people waiting and serving, of cakes handed over at lightening speed and the ever present crowd. Brunetti has suffered the fate of most places which get too popular and corporatised; the quality goes down. I wonder if the same is true for people, for writers, for music, anything.

"How crap is this Tiramisu?" I groan.
"It's sooo bad" he puts his fork down.

"I know 'not everyone'". I sigh - if this conversation is going to take this particular defensive route then I don't want to play. The problem is that you could apply the "not everyone" rule to anything. Not all politicians lie so does that make a difference (generally speaking) to the perception that do? Not all people living in the third world are poor and starving, does that negate the fact that most are?

"ohkaaaay, there is *some* realism to the movie though, right?" I persist.

"yeeeessss" he makes the sound again.

I offer him a nugget "women get scared of commitment too. It's not like men have got the market cornered on that. But in the end if we want love and babies we actually you know act like we want that. Why do men who obviously want love and babies, take so long to realise it?"

"I think a lot of men in their late 20s think they can have anything and anyone. If they still have that same mentality in their 30s then it's because they're idiots" he says simply.

"hmm" The answer doesn't really answer anything and yet, I know what he's trying to say. I actually know quite a few men who have married their first love. They saw a good thing and they took the chance. I know a couple of people who did that and have regretted it too. I know men in their late 20s and early 30s who don't want to be trapped by marriage. I know a few older who want marriage and kids but are wondering where all the women are.

"Is it better to take the chance and marry someone you love, because you love them, or chase the elusive dream of the perfect woman/man which may or may not come along?". I blurt.

"I guess it depends on how happy you are to be lonely" He says matter of factly. "I don't think anyone with such a list will be happy with a human female - OR MALE. They need a fembot"

"manbot" I add.

We laugh.

We've moved onto the other cake now, a chocolate mouse. The chocolate tastes like it's been in the fridge too long.

"This is terrible" I gesture to the mouse.
"This is officially the worst food we've had here" he adds.
"At least the coffee is good" I sigh.

"well, I guess this is the thing isn't it? I mean a list is a list but if you're with someone and you're in love then what makes someone say - "hey I know I'm in love but I'm just going to try for someone who's also a pole dancer, I always wanted to marry a pole dancer"

"well, those would be the idiots I talked about earlier".

"Well why do so many people I know have lists then?"

"I can't help it if you're friends with idiots".

"YOU'RE an idiot". I flick a bit of stale chocolate at him.

****

But seriously. Love or list?

And what about those people can't even DO love WITHOUT the "perfect person" list? What's up with them? Are they idiots or are they normal?

(by list I don't mean "someone who loves me, someone who is caring" etc type of list that is about human decency and what anyone DESERVES. I mean a specific 'perfect person' list" "A blonde. Someone who is a size 0. Someone who plays in a band" etc)

Labels: melbourne musings, men, questions, the list, women, wonderings

posted by M at 12:03 pm 27 comments