[Miscellany]
Sunday, September 29, 2013
Title Required...
There haven't been many term breaks when I feel unable to function but these school holidays have me at a loss. I'm walking through molasses and I can't explain why. There is seemingly no rhyme or reason... except of course there is. There is nothing without reason. I don't and can't believe that chaos theory is a complete explanation of why things are or how they came to be. The problem is of course, that I'm avoiding that rhyme or reason.
I'm not exactly missing the everyday slog of being at work and yet I find myself as a ship without an anchor without it. I know I have to write that pesky resume. I know I have to go through that pile of work. I know there are so many things I want and need to do but I can't seem to be motivated enough to do any of them, including writing. Though, funnily enough I've been drawing...
MVOR said that I need to go on a journey and have a holiday. I owe it to myself to have a break and to have nice things to look forward to. Before this term break started I was motivated to do just that but as soon as the bell rang on Friday afternoon last week something within me changed. It was that simple. One second I was ready to take on the world and the next, I wasn't. Every day since then has felt like I've run a marathon before I open my eyes each morning. And every night has felt like the longest night that I've ever lived.
This feeling of frustration and angst at my life is a new feeling. I think before, I was resigned and numb about the status quo but now I am struggling with a sense of needing more from my life than daydreams. I can't quite seem to get it together to make that happen though.
Anyway, the other day I found myself in a record store when this song by The Chills came over the loud speakers. I felt an immediate sense of nostalgia for things that never were. I stood there for a while, with Kate Bush's The Kick Inside firmly in hand and remembered a life I never lived. It was kind of surreal to say the least and I'm sure I'm not quite explaining this out of body experience right but ... I guess you had to be there (in my head). If I were 10 years older I think this would have been a firm favourite of mine "back in the day" however as it stands, I heard it for the first time a few days ago and have played it every day since then. It's a great song... a bit depressing but it suits the current mood.
Pink Frost - The Chills
I'm not exactly missing the everyday slog of being at work and yet I find myself as a ship without an anchor without it. I know I have to write that pesky resume. I know I have to go through that pile of work. I know there are so many things I want and need to do but I can't seem to be motivated enough to do any of them, including writing. Though, funnily enough I've been drawing...
MVOR said that I need to go on a journey and have a holiday. I owe it to myself to have a break and to have nice things to look forward to. Before this term break started I was motivated to do just that but as soon as the bell rang on Friday afternoon last week something within me changed. It was that simple. One second I was ready to take on the world and the next, I wasn't. Every day since then has felt like I've run a marathon before I open my eyes each morning. And every night has felt like the longest night that I've ever lived.
This feeling of frustration and angst at my life is a new feeling. I think before, I was resigned and numb about the status quo but now I am struggling with a sense of needing more from my life than daydreams. I can't quite seem to get it together to make that happen though.
Anyway, the other day I found myself in a record store when this song by The Chills came over the loud speakers. I felt an immediate sense of nostalgia for things that never were. I stood there for a while, with Kate Bush's The Kick Inside firmly in hand and remembered a life I never lived. It was kind of surreal to say the least and I'm sure I'm not quite explaining this out of body experience right but ... I guess you had to be there (in my head). If I were 10 years older I think this would have been a firm favourite of mine "back in the day" however as it stands, I heard it for the first time a few days ago and have played it every day since then. It's a great song... a bit depressing but it suits the current mood.
Pink Frost - The Chills
Labels: blurry girl, brain fuzz, choices, constellations, music, musical monday, sad sack, wonderings
Sunday, September 08, 2013
Through the Darkness and the Light
Something has awakened in me this Spring, along with the blossoms. It's an emotion, a frustration, an anger, love, a lust for life to take over and a feeling of inevitability that change will happen.
There is a part of me that walks alongside me, behind me, above me, ahead. My higher self I suppose. I can see her silver rope in hand, attached through and inside me, pulling at the chord, she's running ahead, skipping forwards, pirouetting through the air, dancing a wild dervish while the physical me plods behind. Higher self is quite a force, trust me. She is beckoning me forwards through the wasted nights, wasted years, wasted life and showing me a future without despair.
I have waited for the epiphany. I have searched for the synchronicity and explored all connections. I've been misguided and walked down the wrong path many times but I've come to the realisation that sometimes people come into your life for one reason only. You may share a joke. Feel a connection. See a spark. Light a candle. Carry a flame. Are best friends. But maybe that friendship of love or lust isn't why they are important. That connection whatever it is isn't the important one at all. The important bit is the sentence they utter offhandedly one day. The song you hear on their ipod when you borrow it. The t-shirt they wear with that slogan. The tweet you read by accident. Whatever. That little chaotic accident ..or twist of fate pushes you forwards and before you know it you're tumbling off the edge and into your future. They will never know and never need to know that that their inconsequential little nothing turned into something marvelous inside you.
You came into my life to lead me here.
Despair - Yeah Yeah Yeahs
Seasons change, emotions change, the government changes, the waves roll in and out.
Good and bad, it's all change.
Everything has its day... and so will I.
There is a part of me that walks alongside me, behind me, above me, ahead. My higher self I suppose. I can see her silver rope in hand, attached through and inside me, pulling at the chord, she's running ahead, skipping forwards, pirouetting through the air, dancing a wild dervish while the physical me plods behind. Higher self is quite a force, trust me. She is beckoning me forwards through the wasted nights, wasted years, wasted life and showing me a future without despair.
I have waited for the epiphany. I have searched for the synchronicity and explored all connections. I've been misguided and walked down the wrong path many times but I've come to the realisation that sometimes people come into your life for one reason only. You may share a joke. Feel a connection. See a spark. Light a candle. Carry a flame. Are best friends. But maybe that friendship of love or lust isn't why they are important. That connection whatever it is isn't the important one at all. The important bit is the sentence they utter offhandedly one day. The song you hear on their ipod when you borrow it. The t-shirt they wear with that slogan. The tweet you read by accident. Whatever. That little chaotic accident ..or twist of fate pushes you forwards and before you know it you're tumbling off the edge and into your future. They will never know and never need to know that that their inconsequential little nothing turned into something marvelous inside you.
You came into my life to lead me here.
Despair - Yeah Yeah Yeahs
Seasons change, emotions change, the government changes, the waves roll in and out.
Good and bad, it's all change.
Everything has its day... and so will I.
Labels: about me, brain fuzz, change, change the colour of your day, choices, contemplation, daydreams, divination, endless summer lift the curse, fear, music, musical monday, personal, the circle dance, voice
Monday, September 02, 2013
Pontoon
Sometimes my conversations with MVOR are inconsequential, they float away into the atmosphere as soon as I leave the comfort of that cosy little room. Other times the conversation has stayed with me dancing on my shoulder and poking me with a pitchfork like a little devil so I never forget.
The Archetypes conversation we had last week has lingered around me and refusing to leave.
Like all our conversations, this started somewhere rather remote and eventually meandered in that same way it usually does, past the inadequacies of my upbringing and taking a right through my lack of self esteem and stumbling somewhere near the babbling brook of discontent until we reached the fairytale discussion.
If you think about it, we are all in our consciousness and at the very core a collection of archetypes. That is how our point of reference for ourselves and the way in which we size up and identify each other. Every story has its wicked witch, its naive traveler, a caregiver, a Prince. There are those that look one way and act another like our friend The Beast and there are those that without doubt are exactly who they appear to be, like Snow White. Love it or hate it archetypes are important to us. How else would you know what I meant by Perfect Mother unless you already had an idea in your mind of what that would entail? Even if your own Mother wasn't perfect at all, you would still have a projected ideal in your mind of what she should have been.
The fairytale discussion began with an unflattering description of someone in my life as the wicked witch from Hansel and Gretel. MVOR agreed that this sounded consistent with my observations about her in previous discussions and so if that was true when who was I?
As the leading lady in my own sorrowful story you'd think that this would be an easy question to answer but I couldn't reconcile myself as a Red Riding Hood, Snow White or Belle. There is no heroine for me to project forward. MVOR heard my silence, as she often does... and in her perceptive way eventually prompted; I thought that would be obvious. Aren't you Cinderella? She gave a multitude of good reasons why I should be.
I considered it for a long while but ultimately had to disagree.
I couldn't be Cinderella because Cinderella, like all leading heroines, is a character laden with hope and possibility. You go into reading her story knowing that she will prevail. Despite her lowly and doomed status as a servant to her Stepmother and horrid Stepsisters, success is still a certainty for her, like it is for all heroines. I can't say that anything is a positive certainty for me. The jury is still out on whether I will turn these lemons into lemonade or even if I will manage to maintain this exhausting balancing act of my life that can at best be described as a "status quo". No, though I may indeed be in the soot and cinders, sleeping with the outcasts and edging my way along the fringes like our old friend Cinderella I'm not quite as entitled as she to a happy ending. Who is to say I am? What's the guarantee? Not everyone ends up with love, family, money, security, health or self actualisation. In fact, not even having one of them is a certainty.
MVOR explained that our archetypes and internal schemas are part of the image we have of ourselves and that which we project outwards. Is it indeed a self fulfilling prophesy to see oneself in a certain light and to project that outwards, therefore inviting others to see us thus? And so what do you do if your internal archetype is not positive or constructive? Well this is a question for the ages. I'm told it can change with a lot of perseverance and adjustments to our internal narrative.
So if my archetypal fairytale character is not Cindy, then what do you suppose I said?
----
I bought an album the other day for the first time in a loooooong time. I don't tend to buy albums anymore. I buy songs. I suppose we all do that now. But this one... this one I bought. I seem to be listening to this song a lot. It takes me somewhere otherworldly. Exactly what I need.
Pontoon - Emma Louise
The Archetypes conversation we had last week has lingered around me and refusing to leave.
Like all our conversations, this started somewhere rather remote and eventually meandered in that same way it usually does, past the inadequacies of my upbringing and taking a right through my lack of self esteem and stumbling somewhere near the babbling brook of discontent until we reached the fairytale discussion.
If you think about it, we are all in our consciousness and at the very core a collection of archetypes. That is how our point of reference for ourselves and the way in which we size up and identify each other. Every story has its wicked witch, its naive traveler, a caregiver, a Prince. There are those that look one way and act another like our friend The Beast and there are those that without doubt are exactly who they appear to be, like Snow White. Love it or hate it archetypes are important to us. How else would you know what I meant by Perfect Mother unless you already had an idea in your mind of what that would entail? Even if your own Mother wasn't perfect at all, you would still have a projected ideal in your mind of what she should have been.
The fairytale discussion began with an unflattering description of someone in my life as the wicked witch from Hansel and Gretel. MVOR agreed that this sounded consistent with my observations about her in previous discussions and so if that was true when who was I?
As the leading lady in my own sorrowful story you'd think that this would be an easy question to answer but I couldn't reconcile myself as a Red Riding Hood, Snow White or Belle. There is no heroine for me to project forward. MVOR heard my silence, as she often does... and in her perceptive way eventually prompted; I thought that would be obvious. Aren't you Cinderella? She gave a multitude of good reasons why I should be.
I considered it for a long while but ultimately had to disagree.
I couldn't be Cinderella because Cinderella, like all leading heroines, is a character laden with hope and possibility. You go into reading her story knowing that she will prevail. Despite her lowly and doomed status as a servant to her Stepmother and horrid Stepsisters, success is still a certainty for her, like it is for all heroines. I can't say that anything is a positive certainty for me. The jury is still out on whether I will turn these lemons into lemonade or even if I will manage to maintain this exhausting balancing act of my life that can at best be described as a "status quo". No, though I may indeed be in the soot and cinders, sleeping with the outcasts and edging my way along the fringes like our old friend Cinderella I'm not quite as entitled as she to a happy ending. Who is to say I am? What's the guarantee? Not everyone ends up with love, family, money, security, health or self actualisation. In fact, not even having one of them is a certainty.
MVOR explained that our archetypes and internal schemas are part of the image we have of ourselves and that which we project outwards. Is it indeed a self fulfilling prophesy to see oneself in a certain light and to project that outwards, therefore inviting others to see us thus? And so what do you do if your internal archetype is not positive or constructive? Well this is a question for the ages. I'm told it can change with a lot of perseverance and adjustments to our internal narrative.
So if my archetypal fairytale character is not Cindy, then what do you suppose I said?
----
I bought an album the other day for the first time in a loooooong time. I don't tend to buy albums anymore. I buy songs. I suppose we all do that now. But this one... this one I bought. I seem to be listening to this song a lot. It takes me somewhere otherworldly. Exactly what I need.
Pontoon - Emma Louise
Labels: archtypes, fairytales, music, musical monday, musings, MVOR, questions, schemas, thinking, thoughts
Tuesday, August 27, 2013
Fake Project/Real Project
I spent a long time this weekend organising my teacher resources. I have literally thousands of dollars worth of literature and resources that just sits there taking up space and gathering dust. Anyway after many frustrating hours of putting bits of paper into plastic pockets and then into folders the room is looking a lot neater. I sat back tonight and surveyed my efforts and waiting for the feeling of satisfaction and euphoria to overtake me as you'd expect it would after a big clean up moment like this, but that feeling never came. As a matter of fact I don't feel any sense of satisfaction in my clean up of the room at all. Despite two Ikea bags full of of things I've thrown out and 2 bags I've redirect to other areas of the house I feel like the room is still frustratingly exactly as it was.
I've rearranged, I've thrown out the excess rubbish and clutter but I haven't really sorted through my shit. Do I truly need that folder full of activities about healthy eating from 2005 that I inherited from another teacher and have never used? Why should I keep that book about using computer activities with Grade 2-6 that I haven't opened? For that matter should I keep any of the books whose spine still isn't even cracked? Why do I need any of those things and why do I have them in the first place? If I had to be objective I could probably fit all the things I need onto one shelf. Instead I have 2, plus the 2 at school, plus the 7 car loads in storage...and more.
I seem to do this every time I attempt to clean. I sort through my things, make it all look neat and never really evaluate or get rid of the things I really need to. The excess history I've accumulated on these shelves of mine that I've refused to throw out have created blockage for the potential of new things coming in. I can't fit anything else in if I don't get rid of the stale stuff that is there. Sure, I can create a more efficient filing system or invest in a larger space, deeper shelves and generally manage the resources I have more effectively but that's not what I really want to do.
What I really want to do is preserve the essential pieces of my past that I can't move forward without and get rid of all the excess shit that clogs all that awesome stuff from coming in.
Easy.
Meanwhile on the musical landscape, this little gem has joyously been swimming around my head for the past week. If everyone has a theme song and I think they do, this one is mine...for this month anyway.
Left of Centre - Suzanne Vega
I've rearranged, I've thrown out the excess rubbish and clutter but I haven't really sorted through my shit. Do I truly need that folder full of activities about healthy eating from 2005 that I inherited from another teacher and have never used? Why should I keep that book about using computer activities with Grade 2-6 that I haven't opened? For that matter should I keep any of the books whose spine still isn't even cracked? Why do I need any of those things and why do I have them in the first place? If I had to be objective I could probably fit all the things I need onto one shelf. Instead I have 2, plus the 2 at school, plus the 7 car loads in storage...and more.
I seem to do this every time I attempt to clean. I sort through my things, make it all look neat and never really evaluate or get rid of the things I really need to. The excess history I've accumulated on these shelves of mine that I've refused to throw out have created blockage for the potential of new things coming in. I can't fit anything else in if I don't get rid of the stale stuff that is there. Sure, I can create a more efficient filing system or invest in a larger space, deeper shelves and generally manage the resources I have more effectively but that's not what I really want to do.
What I really want to do is preserve the essential pieces of my past that I can't move forward without and get rid of all the excess shit that clogs all that awesome stuff from coming in.
Easy.
Meanwhile on the musical landscape, this little gem has joyously been swimming around my head for the past week. If everyone has a theme song and I think they do, this one is mine...for this month anyway.
Left of Centre - Suzanne Vega
Labels: cleaning up, left of centre wondering about you, metaphor, music, musical monday, organising, thinking
Monday, August 19, 2013
Can I Handle the Seasons of My Life?
In my younger years I spent a lot of time obsessively organising genre lists, composer lists and playlists in my iTunes folders. However over the last 4 or so years my priorities have been only on a seemingly simple task of keeping my head above water. Simple, yes, but all consuming too. Things like playlists (and having a life) were low on my list of priorities and it's only now in the last couple of months that I have looked at compiling lists of any kind again. It's a daunting task. Music is an important part of my life. In many ways music is the family I never had, the friend that gives advice and the hero that always comes along to save me when all hope is lost. When people weren't there to pick up the pieces music always was and when I wasn't there for myself it was music that kept me sane. Now, due to neglect in many areas of my life, my music is tangled up like a frustrating messy, knotted ball of string... and yes, I've only just noticed. Since I can rarely find any song I want on command anymore I now tend to put the music on shuffle and pray that the Gods send me the music I need in order to feed those parts of my soul that need nurturing at that time. I listen to my iPod most days, so I have a lot of music that shuffles in and out of my head through those ear buds.
Now I'm not going to lie, The iPod Oracle does unfortunately tend to think I need to listen a lot of Leo Sayer (downloaded in a moment of weakness folk), not to mention the audio of the trashy novel I downloaded and now can't get away from, but apart from that it's been scarily accurate in providing me the songs I need in order to keep going. Lately this song keeps popping up in random shuffles and randomly came up in conversation the other day too.
I've already written a post about Smashing Pumpkins and so I won't reiterate my sentiments but this song... Landslide, is a special one. I was saving it for a future post about my all time favourite musical covers but today it must stand alone. It's a special tune when the cover is better than the original (gasp!)
Thanks for the message oh Gods of the Universe, oh Billy Pumpkin, oh iPod oracle, oh Stevie Nicks and whomever and whatever else is involved.
I don't quite know how to turn the message into positive action but for now I'm listening.
Now I'm not going to lie, The iPod Oracle does unfortunately tend to think I need to listen a lot of Leo Sayer (downloaded in a moment of weakness folk), not to mention the audio of the trashy novel I downloaded and now can't get away from, but apart from that it's been scarily accurate in providing me the songs I need in order to keep going. Lately this song keeps popping up in random shuffles and randomly came up in conversation the other day too.
I've already written a post about Smashing Pumpkins and so I won't reiterate my sentiments but this song... Landslide, is a special one. I was saving it for a future post about my all time favourite musical covers but today it must stand alone. It's a special tune when the cover is better than the original (gasp!)
Thanks for the message oh Gods of the Universe, oh Billy Pumpkin, oh iPod oracle, oh Stevie Nicks and whomever and whatever else is involved.
I don't quite know how to turn the message into positive action but for now I'm listening.
Labels: change, message, music, musical monday, old, oracle, psychos, struggle
Wednesday, August 14, 2013
Heaven Knows, It's Got To Be This Time.
Last week the seriousness of staff meeting was gloriously punctured by this:
...oops, someone forgot to turn their phone to silent.
One of my younger colleagues leans over towards me and makes a derogatory comment while laughing at the 'euro-trash' beat. Whoa, whoaaa. That's New Order he was dissing. How? I can't even imagine a world where New Order is less than the absolute pinnacle of cool. Apparently it turns out I am crusty, old and out of touch with the musical tastes of the under 25s. Folk if you aren't sitting down yet please do so because I have bad news to break to you; apparently New Order is no longer cool. Someone please alert the 1980s. I'm absolutely devo.
I think like most people my age I stumbled onto New Order in 1988 when Blue Monday was re-released. It may be hard to be believe but to my fluoro short sporting, "Hang Ten" t-shirt (yes...) wearing, rolled down socks rocking self you'd think I was already too cool to listen to such manner of synthpop from a band from "En-ger-land" but no, apart from Michael Jackson's Thriller, Blue Monday was probably the coolest thing I'd ever heard. Looking back, it was the coolest thing any of us in Mrs H's Grade 5 class of '88 had heard to be honest. Now I much prefer the original track (duh) but back then BM '88 was a new sound to ears that had until that point been mostly attuned to bubblegum pop popularised by Australian soap opera star pseudo-musicians.
Of course Blue Monday wasn't even a new sound in 1988, it was already a 5 year old living, breathing child by that stage; New Order had already acquired The Haçienda, bridged the gap between dance, Post Punk/New Wave and well and truly etched a path into musical history. I never knew any of this. I was 10 in 1988 and my biggest mission in life was to learn how to use the hair crimper without burning a hole in my forehead. How was I to know that by the time I was 20 I'd be pressing my face against the bus window listening to Joy Division and New Order on repeat on my Walkman while on the way to change the world one film studies tutorial at a time?
It's hard to articulate what it is about New Order that is special and it seems reductive to say that they 'just are brilliant' (it's not even true, some of their songs are shite) but sometimes words are an inadequate medium to describe a truth that you feel somewhere deep inside. Isn't that why we listen to music in the first place? Doesn't it fill in those spaces we can't quite express through words? How can you articulate the perfect strum of a guitar? How can you describe the moment when you listen to a song and feel yourself completely disappear in to the vibration? How can I do this justice? I can't.
My favourite of theirs is Ceremony. There is still some conjecture in my own mind as to whether this is still officially a Joy Division track or whether it was truly New Order. It's officially touted as New Order's debut track but with lyrics written by Joy Division's frontman Ian Curtis and originally recorded with his vocals before he tragically took his own life. It seems the perfect mixed up choice - a sad goodbye to Ian Curtis and hopeful hello to a new kind of music that ended up changing the world.
It is by no means the only song of New Order that I love and I've posted it before on this blog but many years ago now when I made a list of my top 100 songs of all time this was #1. Right now, it's midnight on a terrifyingly windy night in old Melbourne town. I'm on my 10th listen. Indulge me while I fill in the spaces I can't quite articulate as I go for 11.
Ceremony - New Order
...oops, someone forgot to turn their phone to silent.
One of my younger colleagues leans over towards me and makes a derogatory comment while laughing at the 'euro-trash' beat. Whoa, whoaaa. That's New Order he was dissing. How? I can't even imagine a world where New Order is less than the absolute pinnacle of cool. Apparently it turns out I am crusty, old and out of touch with the musical tastes of the under 25s. Folk if you aren't sitting down yet please do so because I have bad news to break to you; apparently New Order is no longer cool. Someone please alert the 1980s. I'm absolutely devo.
I think like most people my age I stumbled onto New Order in 1988 when Blue Monday was re-released. It may be hard to be believe but to my fluoro short sporting, "Hang Ten" t-shirt (yes...) wearing, rolled down socks rocking self you'd think I was already too cool to listen to such manner of synthpop from a band from "En-ger-land" but no, apart from Michael Jackson's Thriller, Blue Monday was probably the coolest thing I'd ever heard. Looking back, it was the coolest thing any of us in Mrs H's Grade 5 class of '88 had heard to be honest. Now I much prefer the original track (duh) but back then BM '88 was a new sound to ears that had until that point been mostly attuned to bubblegum pop popularised by Australian soap opera star pseudo-musicians.
Of course Blue Monday wasn't even a new sound in 1988, it was already a 5 year old living, breathing child by that stage; New Order had already acquired The Haçienda, bridged the gap between dance, Post Punk/New Wave and well and truly etched a path into musical history. I never knew any of this. I was 10 in 1988 and my biggest mission in life was to learn how to use the hair crimper without burning a hole in my forehead. How was I to know that by the time I was 20 I'd be pressing my face against the bus window listening to Joy Division and New Order on repeat on my Walkman while on the way to change the world one film studies tutorial at a time?
It's hard to articulate what it is about New Order that is special and it seems reductive to say that they 'just are brilliant' (it's not even true, some of their songs are shite) but sometimes words are an inadequate medium to describe a truth that you feel somewhere deep inside. Isn't that why we listen to music in the first place? Doesn't it fill in those spaces we can't quite express through words? How can you articulate the perfect strum of a guitar? How can you describe the moment when you listen to a song and feel yourself completely disappear in to the vibration? How can I do this justice? I can't.
My favourite of theirs is Ceremony. There is still some conjecture in my own mind as to whether this is still officially a Joy Division track or whether it was truly New Order. It's officially touted as New Order's debut track but with lyrics written by Joy Division's frontman Ian Curtis and originally recorded with his vocals before he tragically took his own life. It seems the perfect mixed up choice - a sad goodbye to Ian Curtis and hopeful hello to a new kind of music that ended up changing the world.
It is by no means the only song of New Order that I love and I've posted it before on this blog but many years ago now when I made a list of my top 100 songs of all time this was #1. Right now, it's midnight on a terrifyingly windy night in old Melbourne town. I'm on my 10th listen. Indulge me while I fill in the spaces I can't quite articulate as I go for 11.
Ceremony - New Order
Labels: childhood, defining moments in musical history, music, musical monday
Tuesday, August 06, 2013
To Everything There is a Season
I was supposed to be doing some work on the weekend but somehow ended up at the movies instead. Movies are the vice I always give in to, even if there is a lot of other stuff that needs to be done. The movie we saw was The Way Way Back - a vacation story about a blended family who takes a trip to the beach for the summer. But really, this Duncan's story, an awkward 14 year old who is dealing with being bullied by his Mum's smarmy new boyfriend and trying to find connection in a world where he feels so isolated. I suppose this is a typical teenage story. Didn't we all feel like that at some stage?
To say this movie struck a chord with me would be underplaying it a bit. I didn't particularly identify with Duncan but I understood him and he gave me something that I just love getting when I go to the movies; a realisation.
The first scene of the movie is the car trip. A conversation between Duncan and his Mother's boyfriend Trent breaks the silence leading Trent to question Duncan about what score he would give himself out of 10. When Duncan reluctantly gives himself a 6, Trent gleefully tells him he's a 3. This is not a good beginning for Duncan. He's 14. His mother is going out with an arsehole. He has absolutely no power, no friends, no life and nothing to look forward to. He feels unwanted, alone, awkward and lonely but something incredible happened to Duncan on his summer vacation: He bloomed.
I like to think that everyone has a blooming moment. Perhaps yours happened at 14 and aren't you lucky that it happened so early if it did? Maybe your bloom happened as a senior in High School or after you left and got a job. Perhaps it was meeting the love of your life that did it. Maybe it was getting your license or going overseas or doing Tough Mudder. I don't know - I guess there are no rules to this kind of stuff. A time to every purpose...
Duncan's "time" happened on summer vacation while holidaying with a family whom he felt didn't want him. One day, while at a cafe Duncan randomly connects with the eccentric and immature water park owner Owen, who offers Duncan a job for the summer. Duncan is excited by the prospect of spending time away from his family and accepts immediately. At the water park Duncan finds himself. The mavericks who work there - whom you can also imagine may have at one time felt as Duncan does - accept him totally as one of them and Duncan responds in the only way that someone completely accepted can and that is, he becomes his true self.
Maslow had a theory of self-actualisation that somehow fits into this story. Although the threory was widely contested in the psychological community I still love to this day. There is something so Earthy and real about it. It feels real and that's enough for me. Basically, in order to be self-actualised there is a hierarchy of needs that must be met. The needs are graduated like a pyramid each step moving away from the physical and basic and into the spiritual and emotional (from food, shelter to love, confidence and belonging). It isn't until all your needs are met that you can be self-actualised. I think sometimes people confuse self-actualisation with success. You can be a 'success' and 'functional' and 'loving' and still not be self-actualised and I suppose if that's how you see self-actualisation the hierarchy of needs really doesn't make sense. IMO Self-actualisation is a state of mind, a meaningfulness one finds in life that goes beyond the material and into the soul. Successful and loving people don't necessarily have those qualities (though, they might) and maybe self-actualised people don't necessarily meed success as a material form either. Do I think you can skip steps and still reach the top though? Perhaps..
I was reminded of Maslow's hierarchy of needs while watching The Way Way Back. Duncan had the basic needs but not the emotional ones. At the water park he found a sense of belonging and connection among people who accepted and embraced him. He let go. He bloomed. He stepped up. He defied Trent's assertion that he was a "3".
I realised that apart from our basic needs there are a couple of things that might help us to become the best person we can be:
1) A place (no matter how insignificant) where we can be completely ourselves and accepted for who we are by other people.
2) A champion who will stand up for us when we can't stand up for ourselves.
Duncan's family saw him as a 3. In their stifling presence he was awkward, shy, weird and moody but that's not who he really was. At the water park, with Owen championing him, he became a 10. He found his champion and his special place and he left that sleepy summer town behind not a better person (as that would suggest he needed 'bettering') but a person who was allowed to bloom, finally. It was his time.
I guess I've been struggling with being seen as a 3, seeing myself this way too. I hold out hope for a champion and a place to bloom and moving up that pyramid - don't we all?
Although it's not quite Monday anymore, this one organically came up out of this post and so it must be its time. I love this brand of 60s folk rock and whenever I play this song it seems to always be the right song to play. I guess that Old Testament is not all fury and hell after all.
Turn, Turn, Turn - The Byrds
To say this movie struck a chord with me would be underplaying it a bit. I didn't particularly identify with Duncan but I understood him and he gave me something that I just love getting when I go to the movies; a realisation.
The first scene of the movie is the car trip. A conversation between Duncan and his Mother's boyfriend Trent breaks the silence leading Trent to question Duncan about what score he would give himself out of 10. When Duncan reluctantly gives himself a 6, Trent gleefully tells him he's a 3. This is not a good beginning for Duncan. He's 14. His mother is going out with an arsehole. He has absolutely no power, no friends, no life and nothing to look forward to. He feels unwanted, alone, awkward and lonely but something incredible happened to Duncan on his summer vacation: He bloomed.
I like to think that everyone has a blooming moment. Perhaps yours happened at 14 and aren't you lucky that it happened so early if it did? Maybe your bloom happened as a senior in High School or after you left and got a job. Perhaps it was meeting the love of your life that did it. Maybe it was getting your license or going overseas or doing Tough Mudder. I don't know - I guess there are no rules to this kind of stuff. A time to every purpose...
Duncan's "time" happened on summer vacation while holidaying with a family whom he felt didn't want him. One day, while at a cafe Duncan randomly connects with the eccentric and immature water park owner Owen, who offers Duncan a job for the summer. Duncan is excited by the prospect of spending time away from his family and accepts immediately. At the water park Duncan finds himself. The mavericks who work there - whom you can also imagine may have at one time felt as Duncan does - accept him totally as one of them and Duncan responds in the only way that someone completely accepted can and that is, he becomes his true self.
Maslow had a theory of self-actualisation that somehow fits into this story. Although the threory was widely contested in the psychological community I still love to this day. There is something so Earthy and real about it. It feels real and that's enough for me. Basically, in order to be self-actualised there is a hierarchy of needs that must be met. The needs are graduated like a pyramid each step moving away from the physical and basic and into the spiritual and emotional (from food, shelter to love, confidence and belonging). It isn't until all your needs are met that you can be self-actualised. I think sometimes people confuse self-actualisation with success. You can be a 'success' and 'functional' and 'loving' and still not be self-actualised and I suppose if that's how you see self-actualisation the hierarchy of needs really doesn't make sense. IMO Self-actualisation is a state of mind, a meaningfulness one finds in life that goes beyond the material and into the soul. Successful and loving people don't necessarily have those qualities (though, they might) and maybe self-actualised people don't necessarily meed success as a material form either. Do I think you can skip steps and still reach the top though? Perhaps..
I was reminded of Maslow's hierarchy of needs while watching The Way Way Back. Duncan had the basic needs but not the emotional ones. At the water park he found a sense of belonging and connection among people who accepted and embraced him. He let go. He bloomed. He stepped up. He defied Trent's assertion that he was a "3".
I realised that apart from our basic needs there are a couple of things that might help us to become the best person we can be:
1) A place (no matter how insignificant) where we can be completely ourselves and accepted for who we are by other people.
2) A champion who will stand up for us when we can't stand up for ourselves.
Duncan's family saw him as a 3. In their stifling presence he was awkward, shy, weird and moody but that's not who he really was. At the water park, with Owen championing him, he became a 10. He found his champion and his special place and he left that sleepy summer town behind not a better person (as that would suggest he needed 'bettering') but a person who was allowed to bloom, finally. It was his time.
I guess I've been struggling with being seen as a 3, seeing myself this way too. I hold out hope for a champion and a place to bloom and moving up that pyramid - don't we all?
Although it's not quite Monday anymore, this one organically came up out of this post and so it must be its time. I love this brand of 60s folk rock and whenever I play this song it seems to always be the right song to play. I guess that Old Testament is not all fury and hell after all.
Turn, Turn, Turn - The Byrds
Labels: 60s, cinema, film, friends, life, life and art, movies, music, musical monday, musings, self help, theory, thoughts, time, wonderings
Monday, July 29, 2013
Sugar Water
Sometimes a song gets stuck in your head, you know how it is. This one has been swanning around in there for about a week now and I'm not sure why. I *know* I didn't hear it anywhere because, quite frankly this song is nowhere to be heard. It just appeared one day like a disembodied birdie voice singing in my ear and has been nesting there ever since. Perhaps it's the catchy la la la and the lullaby quality of the tune but I played it until I fell asleep last night and it worked a treat. I've needed a lullaby lately.
I know next to nothing about Cibo Matto. I've come across a few of their songs but none I like so much as Sugar Water. I never, never, never play it only once. Never. I first came upon it accidentally when seeing the video clip on Rage TV and loved it at first glance. Love does happen at first sight... well in the music world anyway - even if it is your ears doing the viewing (though I suppose the line is blurred with video clips these days). I can't think of anything I dislike about the song - even the slightly ESLness of the lyrics is a joy. The lyric A woman in the Moon is singing to the Earth promotes very evocative imagery to me and after hearing the song I'm often left wondering why or who or what that is and why indeed Cibo Matto have taken the pains to include that particular line in there.
One of my favourite things about the song is the video clip and I was remiss not to include it in my favourite video clips of all time post because it truly is one of my favourites. I would have seen the clip dozens of times but I still can't quite figure it out in my head. It's supposed to be a bit surreal, I get that much but things get hazy with the mailing of the letter and the writing on the window.
Come to think of it I probably like not knowing. Some riddles don't need to be figured out.
Sugar Water - Cibo Matto
I know next to nothing about Cibo Matto. I've come across a few of their songs but none I like so much as Sugar Water. I never, never, never play it only once. Never. I first came upon it accidentally when seeing the video clip on Rage TV and loved it at first glance. Love does happen at first sight... well in the music world anyway - even if it is your ears doing the viewing (though I suppose the line is blurred with video clips these days). I can't think of anything I dislike about the song - even the slightly ESLness of the lyrics is a joy. The lyric A woman in the Moon is singing to the Earth promotes very evocative imagery to me and after hearing the song I'm often left wondering why or who or what that is and why indeed Cibo Matto have taken the pains to include that particular line in there.
One of my favourite things about the song is the video clip and I was remiss not to include it in my favourite video clips of all time post because it truly is one of my favourites. I would have seen the clip dozens of times but I still can't quite figure it out in my head. It's supposed to be a bit surreal, I get that much but things get hazy with the mailing of the letter and the writing on the window.
Come to think of it I probably like not knowing. Some riddles don't need to be figured out.
Sugar Water - Cibo Matto
Labels: music, musical monday, musings, pop culture, wonderings
Sunday, July 21, 2013
If I Could Would You?
I'm a tourist when it comes to Alice in Chains. I don't often seek them out but over the years I found myself accidentally encountering them on soundtracks, in clubs, on the radio, while watching video clips etc. until I couldn't help but deny the obvious fact: They are brilliant. I can't help but be mesmerised by them. Layne Staley has a voice to be believed. I am a fan of screamers who can actually sing (Chris Cornell, Kat Bjelland etc.) and Layne was one of the best.
Alice in Chains definitely had a 'heavy' sound but there was something also very contemplative or melancholic in the strum of the string and the build up in many of their songs. You can almost meditate to Rooster, for instance.
One of my favourite songs of theirs is also one of their best known: Would.
When I was a teen it was played on "alternative" radio and I can't remember loving it at first listen. The song is a slow burn, or perhaps it was for me. It took a while to love and by the time I did I couldn't imagine not ever loving it. In fact, now can't imagine my personal musical history without this song in it. By the time we turned 18 and the friendship group graduated to going to pubs it always seemed to be the song that got everyone up on the dance floor. I suppose this is indicative of the types of places we frequented (ie: dives) - grungy places where bands played and the music was so loud that you couldn't hear yourself think. Let me make this clear; Would is NOT the kind of song one dances to but somehow we managed to. I listen to it now and wonder how we even moved to it. I guess we were shitfaced and loved singing along while getting even more shitfaced. I have a lot of very good memories with this song as the sole soundtrack. It makes me smile to think of the mischief we all got up to.
What is it about this song? I don't think I can quite articulate how the vocals bury somewhere in my sternum when I listen to it; hitting somewhere primal and deep. Where does that voice come from? Not this world I don't think. I'd put it in my top 100 songs of all time.
Would - Alice in Chains
Alice in Chains definitely had a 'heavy' sound but there was something also very contemplative or melancholic in the strum of the string and the build up in many of their songs. You can almost meditate to Rooster, for instance.
One of my favourite songs of theirs is also one of their best known: Would.
When I was a teen it was played on "alternative" radio and I can't remember loving it at first listen. The song is a slow burn, or perhaps it was for me. It took a while to love and by the time I did I couldn't imagine not ever loving it. In fact, now can't imagine my personal musical history without this song in it. By the time we turned 18 and the friendship group graduated to going to pubs it always seemed to be the song that got everyone up on the dance floor. I suppose this is indicative of the types of places we frequented (ie: dives) - grungy places where bands played and the music was so loud that you couldn't hear yourself think. Let me make this clear; Would is NOT the kind of song one dances to but somehow we managed to. I listen to it now and wonder how we even moved to it. I guess we were shitfaced and loved singing along while getting even more shitfaced. I have a lot of very good memories with this song as the sole soundtrack. It makes me smile to think of the mischief we all got up to.
What is it about this song? I don't think I can quite articulate how the vocals bury somewhere in my sternum when I listen to it; hitting somewhere primal and deep. Where does that voice come from? Not this world I don't think. I'd put it in my top 100 songs of all time.
Would - Alice in Chains
Labels: grunge, loud, memories, memory, music, musical monday
Monday, July 15, 2013
Not My Place
I was going to do a music post that was me pressing shuffle and posting the first 5 songs that came up for laugh, but then I realised that it really wasn't going to work (for me). There's only so many times that The Pina Colada song can come up before you are shamed to paralysis. Okay I just admitted it, shame on me.
Anyway, the first song that came up was:
It's Not My Place (In The 9 to 5 World) - The Ramones
...which was a funny coincidence because I had *just* been thinking about how I'm one of those people that aren't built for the 9 to 5 workplace. One could argue that teaching with all the holidays one gets and the fact that the kids leave at 3.30pm that it really isn't a 9 to 5 work place but if you are suggesting that it's somehow easier than working a regular office work shift then I'd invite you to come say that to my face. We'd have... "words". It's worse. Way worse.
Anyway, I like it when the ipod randomly acts like a personal psychic and quite frankly I find it often does. In fact music often gives me exactly what I need when I need it, unfortunately more so than people ever have (or will?).
I was thinking though, that it really isn't my place to be in the rat race. I'm not motivated by working up the rungs of the ladder. I'm not excited by extra challenges in the work I do. I don't really want any extra money. I don't want to work long hours. I don't even want to work 5 days a week! When us teachers went on the recent strike part of our strike conditions were to work a 38 hour week. We didn't write reports. We didn't have extra parent meetings. We didn't have extra staff meetings. Of course we STILL put in more than the 38 hour work week that we are supposedly paid a pittance for but we certainly did less. When the discussions came up to go 'get back to normal' and get the shitty pay rise my hackles went up. I would much rather work less. I was happier not writing reports. I was happier not having to "volunteer" to come in on my weekend to do unpaid extra. I was more than happy to pack my bag at a reasonable hour and just leave. I was happier just teaching and enjoying my grade than doing all the extra bullshit that goes along with teaching.
A single girl such as I has got to pay the bills.
It's not my place in the 9 to 5 world.
It's just not.
So what do I do?
Anyway, the first song that came up was:
It's Not My Place (In The 9 to 5 World) - The Ramones
...which was a funny coincidence because I had *just* been thinking about how I'm one of those people that aren't built for the 9 to 5 workplace. One could argue that teaching with all the holidays one gets and the fact that the kids leave at 3.30pm that it really isn't a 9 to 5 work place but if you are suggesting that it's somehow easier than working a regular office work shift then I'd invite you to come say that to my face. We'd have... "words". It's worse. Way worse.
Anyway, I like it when the ipod randomly acts like a personal psychic and quite frankly I find it often does. In fact music often gives me exactly what I need when I need it, unfortunately more so than people ever have (or will?).
I was thinking though, that it really isn't my place to be in the rat race. I'm not motivated by working up the rungs of the ladder. I'm not excited by extra challenges in the work I do. I don't really want any extra money. I don't want to work long hours. I don't even want to work 5 days a week! When us teachers went on the recent strike part of our strike conditions were to work a 38 hour week. We didn't write reports. We didn't have extra parent meetings. We didn't have extra staff meetings. Of course we STILL put in more than the 38 hour work week that we are supposedly paid a pittance for but we certainly did less. When the discussions came up to go 'get back to normal' and get the shitty pay rise my hackles went up. I would much rather work less. I was happier not writing reports. I was happier not having to "volunteer" to come in on my weekend to do unpaid extra. I was more than happy to pack my bag at a reasonable hour and just leave. I was happier just teaching and enjoying my grade than doing all the extra bullshit that goes along with teaching.
A single girl such as I has got to pay the bills.
It's not my place in the 9 to 5 world.
It's just not.
So what do I do?
Labels: 70s, music, musical monday, punk, ramones, rant, stressed teachers, teaching, work
Thursday, July 11, 2013
Do You Want Whale Sperm With That?
The truth is sometimes being young is less fun than being dead.
If that old adage "you are what you eat" holds any truth at all, then it must also be true that you are what you watch and listen to as well. If I could go back to 2006 and redo that old blog post in the link there I'd add the movie Pump Up the Volume to the "Recipe of Me" list. I'm not quite sure why I didn't include it in there in the first place. I remember much of my teenage years was spent watching this movie while sighing every time Christian Slater spoke (as you do when you're about 15) and I did so, over and over, week after week until the tape literally broke.
I haven't got the movie on DVD (and clearly not on VHS either) but the other night I happened to find it randomly online and re-watched it for the first time in about 15 or so years and was delighted from opening scene to end credits. I could still recite about 80% of it verbatim and it still rang true. I'm many years out of my teens now and I'm amazed that I could still relate so willingly to these feelings of hurt, betrayal and injustice that are so fundamentally teenage. It's a credit to the writing and direction but also perhaps speaks a lot of me and where I'm at during this time in my life.
I'm not sure whether this is true and FFS I can't be fucked researching it but PUTV feels like the first movie of its time to truly be a voice of the emergent Generation X especially in the face of teen cinema that had, (until that time) been thoughtful but also too "pretty" to really explore issues of how difficult it is to be young. Pump Up the Volume isn't a pretty teen movie. Sure, Samantha Mathis is gorgeous and Christian Slater isn't exactly hard on the eye but when you compare it to the John Hughes movies that typified teen angst in the 80s it's like looking at two opposites. PUTV is basically a big "fuck you" to the 80s and the Baby Boomers for that matter. It's Generation Xs first real voice, that is when they were still deciding whether they had a voice angry enough to be heard in the first place.
Were Generation X ever really heard I wonder?
Sure they were written about, notably by the brilliant Douglas Coupland and in numerous essays of the time. Many songs and books and theories were pontificated (probably on the end of a joint) about Gen-X. Certainly the Baby Boomers and (consequently) Yuppies complained about their lack of willpower, their disaffected attitude, their slacker tendencies, their over-educated cynicism and their moodiness but were they ever really heard?
A lot of what writer/director Allan Moyle examines in his movie Pump Up the Volume I think explains the fears and worries that affected Generation X before we moved the spotlight onto Gen Y and forgot there ever really was a problem. Namely, control by large corporations over the way we live our lives, how money influences greed and corruption, that adults in positions of power are mostly untrustworthy, an inexplicable need to fuck shit up, a fear that society does not support humanity in humans, fear that our mental and physical well-being is being subverted by a machine running on corruption and greed, a feeling that perhaps anarchy is better than capitalism and of course a deep mistrust in government and all authority associated with it etc.
Let's fact it folk, aren't these the things we are still worried about? Weren't the hippies worried about that before they turned into yuppies? And if we aren't, why the hell not? This is why the movie is still so relevant and why it still works. These issues never went away in fact if anything they are more hopeless than ever, and Generation X, no matter now ineffective in changing the world they were had a bloody good point. They may not have invented the plight or were the first to voice their concerns but they did take on these issues personally. If we didn't listen then, why aren't we listening now?
What I love about Pump Up the Volume is the idea that idea that the voice is so powerful that it creates its own persona. As a lowly teenager, main protagonist Mark is vulnerable; he is young and as we all know being young is hard and being young also means being powerless. Young people who speak up or who are different are often beaten down by authority figures and of course since we are so afraid of 'otherness' by their peers too, but a voice can go anywhere and transcends cliques, class and race. It can penetrate deep and reach out to a humanity that exists in commonality within us all.
I like the idea that a voice can just go somewhere uninvited and just kind of hang out like a dirty thought in a nice, clean mind. To me a thought is like a virus you know, it can just kill all the healthy thoughts and just take over. ~ DJ. Happy Harry Hard-OnSo in the movie the voice does go uninvited into the psyche of this small town and creates a virus that causes an epidemic of thought and eventually anarchy and change in this small community and this makes me wonder, what it will take for us humans to do the same on a grander scale? While most of us humans step in time almost mindlessly to the job and the mortgage and hot sex (or endless supply of chocolate) there is a group of us who has been infected by the virus and is currently sitting very uneasily with it pulsating deep knowing that change must happen but not knowing how.
If Generation X were unheard or... ignored when they took it on then what will happen this time around?
I would be remiss to mention the fact that the soundtrack for Pump Up the Volume is just brilliant. The released soundtrack is good but the actual soundtrack from the movie is some of the best music of its time. Leonard Cohen, Sonic Youth, Concrete Blonde, Pixies, MC5, Beastie Boys, etc.
Here's one little gem by Richard Hell and the Voidoids. Love Comes in Spurts.
Labels: cinema, film theory, generation x, movies, musical monday, political musings, pop culture, punk, voice, yes I am taking politics, youth
Sunday, June 23, 2013
Youtube Killed the Video Star.
I can't remember the first video clip I ever saw.
When this clip came out it was the talk of the town. It's still funny. Not sure if I still love the song but the clip is great.
Praise You - Fatboy Slim
I've been sitting here for a while trying to think of something coherent to say about this song and this clip. It's difficult because there was (and is) such controversy about Courtney Love, her famed drug habit, her accused Yoko Ono type role in the demise of Kurt/Nirvana. Although Courtney Love was one of the greatest train wrecks of the 90s you can't take your eyes off her in this clip. It's beautifully shot and I think really typifies the grungy aesthetic typical of that time - and particularly of Hole. The lyric - I want to be the girl with the most cake... I mean, wow. It's a beautiful song. Great clip.
Doll Parts - Hole
I love a bit of a musical war. You can't miss the intent in his video clip. If Chris Cornell is the most angelic male screamer then Kat Bjelland is his female counterpart. She is flawless in her anger. Apparently she's quite a soft spoken sweet woman in real life but you'd never know from her music. I love how blatantly obvious this clip is. Basically... eat shit Courtney? Would that be fair to say? I love Babes in Toyland. They were a great band.
Bruise Violet - Babes in Toyland
Click for Clip
This isn't my favourite Sonic Youth song (that honour goes to Teenage Riot) but this is definitely up there. Kim Gordon is truly one of the best women in rock and I love Kathleen Hanna's guest role in this clip. Are they poking fun at Hole? Looks like we'll never know. Kim Gordon produced Hole's first record and Kathleen Hanna hated Courtney with a passion (likewise Courtney). It's a little awkward when your friends hate your friends, eh? Love this song but I love the video clip more.
Bull in the Heather - Sonic Youth
Yes, we all wish would could be as cool as Kim Deal but it looks as though Kim Deal wanted to be as cool as Kim Gordon and sought her out especially to direct this film clip (alongside Spike Jonze) for The Breeders. I remember listening to this song ad nauseam when it came out. It's STILL EXCELLENT. Love the Cannonball rolling down the street. I hope no one got hurt. Love it.
Cannonball - The Breeders
He ambles along. He bumps into people. He sings stony faced. What's not to love?
Bittersweet Symphony - The Verve
Ahhh Kurt. What can I say? What a beautiful, troubled man. All Nirvana's songs are gorgeous but mostly full of pain. How can they not be? Sure this song is no exception but you have to smile when watching the clip. I get a big kick out of the retro variety show vibe.
I was still a 10 year old Catholic when this clip came out. It rocked my world. If anyone could bring a saint to life it was Madonna in a black slip dancing in front of flaming crucifixes. The controversy this clip produced was mammoth at the time. Condemned by the Vatican! That basically means it's awesome.
Like A Prayer - Madonna
Love it when a video clip tells a story. This is gorgeous. The song is magnificent and the clip is like a mini movie. Kate Bush was inspired by a memoir written by Peter Reich about cloudbusting (rain making) with his father Wilhelm Reich. It's a hypnotic clip. Kate Bush plays the son and Donald Sutherland plays Wilhelm. A beautiful creation.
Cloudbusting - Kate Bush
Sometimes you come across a video clip that is so absolutely perfect for the song. This is it. Love the slightly chaotic camera work. It sets the perfect mood for teenage hedonism.
Ohhhh, how I love this video clip. It's sad, it's funny, it's sweet. How can you not fall in love with the anthropomorphic dog-man? It's beautifully shot and after all that rejection you just want him to get together with that lovely girl. Alas, not to be. *sob*
I do remember watching Madonna writhing on the road in Burning Up and Michael Jackson making the floor light up with every precious step in the clip for Billie Jean and I remember bouncing on the couch until it broke while watching Mick Jagger sing Start Me Up on Countdown. But... I don't remember my first ever video clip. Video may have killed the radio star but I was in favour of this kind of cold blooded murder. I couldn't get enough of watching music on the TV and though I was never really given free reign over the remote I found a way to watch Countdown in between breaks on the nightly news.
When I was a teenager, as most Australian teenagers do I started watching Rage - a music video program that ran all night on the weekends. In fact, I approached this venture in most nerdological (made up word) fashion by taping each overnight show and then watching them in full the next day. I was fascinated by what musical artists picked as their favourite video clips and took note of the artists they sighted as influences for their own music. If I liked that musical artist I'd make it my business to explore their musical tastes. It fascinated me that Trent Reznor listened to Erykah Badu and that Perry Farrell was partial to The Geraldine Fibbers. I explored these connections and I drew musical family trees in my head that remain intact to this day.
I've always wanted to program Rage for a night. I guess the beauty of owning a blog and having access to YouTube means you can kind of program your own
So, here you go, my favourite video clips.
Okay, this is by far my favourite clip of all time. It's a masterpiece of popular culture. It's funny. It's vibrant. The song is just brilliant. The album this song comes from is one of my favourites and I can never watch it just once.
Buddy Holly - Weezer
Buddy Holly - Weezer
Chris Cornell has the voice of an angel. That is, if the angel was screaming his head off. I remember when this video clip came out. I happened to be into surrealist art at the time and this video clip fit right into my idea of what was beautiful and meaningful. It was on high rotation in my household until it drove everyone nuts. Love the creepy Stepford wife feel of it. The song stands the test of time. Soundgarden rock.
Black Hole Sun - Soundgarden
Laurie Anderson is a crackpot. I pick this video because it's hypnotic and beautiful in a performance art kind of way. Conceptual performance-artist cracker jacks need love too you know. You have to admire a woman who is going to go completely left field with her art. She totally makes this work. Who knows what the fuck it's about? Who cares? It's great.
Black Hole Sun - Soundgarden
Laurie Anderson is a crackpot. I pick this video because it's hypnotic and beautiful in a performance art kind of way. Conceptual performance-artist cracker jacks need love too you know. You have to admire a woman who is going to go completely left field with her art. She totally makes this work. Who knows what the fuck it's about? Who cares? It's great.
O Superman - Laurie Anderson
Oh Billie Jean. For many years I dreamt of a house where I could have tiles that lit up when I stepped on them. I asked for it numerous times but my parents weren't buying it. I'm still dirty on the fact that it never happened. I practised doing the moonwalk up and down the corridor until my legs hurt. This video clip is marvelous. The song is even better. I love everything about it.
Billie Jean - Michael Jackson
I love Deborah Harry. She's both crazy and beautiful. What a combination in a woman. I love the jazz hands in this video. In fact I pick the video based purely on the jazz hands. Looking at this now, it seems like it's very dated but somehow it still works. Even the very, very VERY bad attempt at rap is absolutely awesome. Thus is the power of Blondie; they can make bad rap sound brilliant.
Rapture - Blondie
Rapture - Blondie
Praise You - Fatboy Slim
I've been sitting here for a while trying to think of something coherent to say about this song and this clip. It's difficult because there was (and is) such controversy about Courtney Love, her famed drug habit, her accused Yoko Ono type role in the demise of Kurt/Nirvana. Although Courtney Love was one of the greatest train wrecks of the 90s you can't take your eyes off her in this clip. It's beautifully shot and I think really typifies the grungy aesthetic typical of that time - and particularly of Hole. The lyric - I want to be the girl with the most cake... I mean, wow. It's a beautiful song. Great clip.
Doll Parts - Hole
I love a bit of a musical war. You can't miss the intent in his video clip. If Chris Cornell is the most angelic male screamer then Kat Bjelland is his female counterpart. She is flawless in her anger. Apparently she's quite a soft spoken sweet woman in real life but you'd never know from her music. I love how blatantly obvious this clip is. Basically... eat shit Courtney? Would that be fair to say? I love Babes in Toyland. They were a great band.
Bruise Violet - Babes in Toyland
Click for Clip
This isn't my favourite Sonic Youth song (that honour goes to Teenage Riot) but this is definitely up there. Kim Gordon is truly one of the best women in rock and I love Kathleen Hanna's guest role in this clip. Are they poking fun at Hole? Looks like we'll never know. Kim Gordon produced Hole's first record and Kathleen Hanna hated Courtney with a passion (likewise Courtney). It's a little awkward when your friends hate your friends, eh? Love this song but I love the video clip more.
Bull in the Heather - Sonic Youth
Yes, we all wish would could be as cool as Kim Deal but it looks as though Kim Deal wanted to be as cool as Kim Gordon and sought her out especially to direct this film clip (alongside Spike Jonze) for The Breeders. I remember listening to this song ad nauseam when it came out. It's STILL EXCELLENT. Love the Cannonball rolling down the street. I hope no one got hurt. Love it.
Cannonball - The Breeders
He ambles along. He bumps into people. He sings stony faced. What's not to love?
Bittersweet Symphony - The Verve
Ahhh Kurt. What can I say? What a beautiful, troubled man. All Nirvana's songs are gorgeous but mostly full of pain. How can they not be? Sure this song is no exception but you have to smile when watching the clip. I get a big kick out of the retro variety show vibe.
In Bloom - Nirvana
This song is uncomfortable to listen to. We've all sung it, (mostly drunk) but have you really listened to it? It's not exactly ...flattering. Although he's cleaned up his act now and looks more like an ad for healthy living than as the skinny coke head that wrote Closer, Trent Reznor was truly a force during those "Downward Spiral" days. He's still remarkable of course. This video clip is confronting and magnificent on many levels. Why should things be comfortable and G-rated all the time? I'd much rather see this kind of perversion than an under-age Miley Cyrus writhing on my screen any day. Let's get serious. This is a masterpiece and a beautiful, disturbing, horrifying visual feast.
Closer - NIN
It's the dance. The dance is brilliant.
Thriller - Michael Jackson
Closer - NIN
It's the dance. The dance is brilliant.
Thriller - Michael Jackson
I was still a 10 year old Catholic when this clip came out. It rocked my world. If anyone could bring a saint to life it was Madonna in a black slip dancing in front of flaming crucifixes. The controversy this clip produced was mammoth at the time. Condemned by the Vatican! That basically means it's awesome.
Like A Prayer - Madonna
Love it when a video clip tells a story. This is gorgeous. The song is magnificent and the clip is like a mini movie. Kate Bush was inspired by a memoir written by Peter Reich about cloudbusting (rain making) with his father Wilhelm Reich. It's a hypnotic clip. Kate Bush plays the son and Donald Sutherland plays Wilhelm. A beautiful creation.
Cloudbusting - Kate Bush
Sometimes you come across a video clip that is so absolutely perfect for the song. This is it. Love the slightly chaotic camera work. It sets the perfect mood for teenage hedonism.
1979 - Smashing Pumpkins
Every. single. lyric. is pure joy. Love the Bobby Brown references. Jimmy Fallon has got some moves.
Idiot Boyfriend - Jimmy Fallon
Okay, so this is not exactly an official video clip but I just love it. Sesame Street is so clever with the play on words here. Love it how the U keeps attacking and groping Smokey. It's a little creepy, but what's not to love?
U Really Got a Hold on Me - Smokey Robinson (Sesame Street Version)
Generally speaking TWS make great video clips but this is my favourite and perhaps even my favourite song of theirs. How long must it have taken to create such a lego-tastic delight? Love the colours and the fun of it.
Every. single. lyric. is pure joy. Love the Bobby Brown references. Jimmy Fallon has got some moves.
Idiot Boyfriend - Jimmy Fallon
Okay, so this is not exactly an official video clip but I just love it. Sesame Street is so clever with the play on words here. Love it how the U keeps attacking and groping Smokey. It's a little creepy, but what's not to love?
U Really Got a Hold on Me - Smokey Robinson (Sesame Street Version)
Generally speaking TWS make great video clips but this is my favourite and perhaps even my favourite song of theirs. How long must it have taken to create such a lego-tastic delight? Love the colours and the fun of it.
Fell in Love with a Girl - The White Stripes
Ohhhh, how I love this video clip. It's sad, it's funny, it's sweet. How can you not fall in love with the anthropomorphic dog-man? It's beautifully shot and after all that rejection you just want him to get together with that lovely girl. Alas, not to be. *sob*
Da Funk - Daft Punk
If Buddy Holly is my favourite video clip this would have to be a very close second. Everything about it is flawless. Love the Starsky and Hutch feel of it. The song is incredible and the action is riveting. Is there anything that Spike Jonze can't do? He's a master in under 4 minutes.
Sabotage - Beastie Boys
Simple. The lyrics are masterful (it's Bob, duh) and when you have good lyrics you just need to write them down and the point is made. Yep.
Subterranean Homesick Blues - Bob Dylan
Click for Clip
Best choreography since Thriller.
Sabotage - Beastie Boys
Simple. The lyrics are masterful (it's Bob, duh) and when you have good lyrics you just need to write them down and the point is made. Yep.
Subterranean Homesick Blues - Bob Dylan
Click for Clip
Best choreography since Thriller.
Here it Goes Again - OK Go
This clip is just weird. Love the spasmodic clapping and dancing. The ending is a true WTF moment. That's what I like in a video clip!
Bad Romance - Lady Gaga
The song is brilliant but the clip just adds that extra dimension of crazy. It's funny and creepy at the same time. I laughed my head off the first time I saw the pregnant man put a pineapple up his wahoo. As for the disco dancing down the supermarket isles... Genius!
Been Caught Stealing - Jane's Addiction
Speaking of genius. Foofighters always had it (Big Me, anyone?) but Everlong takes the cake as one of the strangest "funny videos" of all time. Love it when Dave Grohl goes back into the dream and emerges with the lady log legs. You'll see what I mean when you watch the clip.
Everlong - Foofighters
I love a bit of politics in my music and this is pretty fearless as far as promoting a message. Directed by Michael Moore, this clip caused the NY Stock Exchange to lock its doors, fearing they would be stormed by angry rioters. Splicing the clip with images from the "Millionaire" game show highlight the division between rich and poor. What is art if not a reflection of life?
Sleep Now in the Fire - Rage Against the Machine
Does having a baby momma who is an airhead undercut how hauntingly beautiful this clip is? Yeah, it kind of does. ...but it's a great clip.
Runaway - Kanye West
Why can't this happen to me? Take note Mr Darcy.
Take on Me - A ha
I was a big Queen fan growing up (still am) - Freddie Mercury is masterful in this video clip. There is no hint of irony here. He is splendid in pink and the song is glorious. Just another suburban day waiting to dawn where a humdrum domestic goddess dreams of a better life. Don't we all?
This clip is just weird. Love the spasmodic clapping and dancing. The ending is a true WTF moment. That's what I like in a video clip!
Bad Romance - Lady Gaga
The song is brilliant but the clip just adds that extra dimension of crazy. It's funny and creepy at the same time. I laughed my head off the first time I saw the pregnant man put a pineapple up his wahoo. As for the disco dancing down the supermarket isles... Genius!
Been Caught Stealing - Jane's Addiction
Speaking of genius. Foofighters always had it (Big Me, anyone?) but Everlong takes the cake as one of the strangest "funny videos" of all time. Love it when Dave Grohl goes back into the dream and emerges with the lady log legs. You'll see what I mean when you watch the clip.
Everlong - Foofighters
I love a bit of politics in my music and this is pretty fearless as far as promoting a message. Directed by Michael Moore, this clip caused the NY Stock Exchange to lock its doors, fearing they would be stormed by angry rioters. Splicing the clip with images from the "Millionaire" game show highlight the division between rich and poor. What is art if not a reflection of life?
Sleep Now in the Fire - Rage Against the Machine
Does having a baby momma who is an airhead undercut how hauntingly beautiful this clip is? Yeah, it kind of does. ...but it's a great clip.
Runaway - Kanye West
Why can't this happen to me? Take note Mr Darcy.
Take on Me - A ha
I was a big Queen fan growing up (still am) - Freddie Mercury is masterful in this video clip. There is no hint of irony here. He is splendid in pink and the song is glorious. Just another suburban day waiting to dawn where a humdrum domestic goddess dreams of a better life. Don't we all?
I Want to Break Free - Queen
Jarvis Cocker is sublime in everything he does. This clip is no exception - garish and stark. The song is funny and tragic all rolled into one. Love the lyrics. Love Jarvis.
Common People - Pulp
Common People - Pulp
From the moment the opening lyric excuse me but can I be you for a while is uttered you know it's going to be a goodie. It's heart-wrenching and beautiful. I love the image of the little girl climbing over the piano and Tori in a box. The clip has an 'experimental' feel to is and Tori seems kind of awkward. This of course adds to the brilliance.
Silent All These Years - Tori Amos
If Freddie Mercury showed us how to be a domestic goddess from one side this is the story from the other side of the tracks. This clip is no "Sabotage" with its punchy action. Instead it meanders gently from scene to scene like a neverending flowing stream - as Badu does, from room to room ...on and on. It's worth the 5 minute investment you'll make. Brilliant song. Thoughtful clip
On and On - Erykah Badu
Et vous?
Silent All These Years - Tori Amos
If Freddie Mercury showed us how to be a domestic goddess from one side this is the story from the other side of the tracks. This clip is no "Sabotage" with its punchy action. Instead it meanders gently from scene to scene like a neverending flowing stream - as Badu does, from room to room ...on and on. It's worth the 5 minute investment you'll make. Brilliant song. Thoughtful clip
On and On - Erykah Badu
Et vous?
Labels: defining moments in musical history, memories, music, musical monday
Tuesday, April 26, 2011
global village
The great thing about the internet is that you can ask it any perverted question in the world without the consequence of having to look someone in the eye when you ask it. Many moons ago people had village communities or extended families that would answer these kinds of embarrassing questions for you - Any ailment, any worry would have been presented to the clan matriarch or patriarch ...or just village idiot and a suitable answer would be got, and if not entirely got, then I'm sure at least contemplated.
These days the village community doesn't really exist anymore. Despite owning every conceivable technological device aimed at bringing us closer together, we as a race are strangely more isolated than ever before in terms of touch.
Luckily for me the internet is our new village community and I can ask all my weirdo questions without feeling like a complete perve.
Now, for an important question - please indulge me: Is this song sexy or not?
Love Hangover
These days the village community doesn't really exist anymore. Despite owning every conceivable technological device aimed at bringing us closer together, we as a race are strangely more isolated than ever before in terms of touch.
Luckily for me the internet is our new village community and I can ask all my weirdo questions without feeling like a complete perve.
Now, for an important question - please indulge me: Is this song sexy or not?
Love Hangover
Labels: computer stuff, internet as village community, musical monday
Monday, April 04, 2011
All aboard!
MVOR, (being so much more reasonable than I) made an interesting remark the other day.
We were talking about personal relationships and I was relating a story about somebody that I was (am) on the verge of cutting out of my life. She interrupted my petty diatribe to tell me about the train theory - or rather, the train carriage theory of personal relationships.
Basically the people with normal personal relationships keep them organised in a kind of train carriage system. Some people are very close to us and we hold them dear - our immediate family or spouse, children etc and they go in the first carriage. The next carriage has our next closest people - our best friends, perhaps extended family etc. Then so on and so on as the carriages get further and further away from the funnel and down the track until you get right to the end where it's people you see every few years at a reunion.
Not everyone can be in first class you see - and you can't treat everyone like they are in first class either. It would tire you out and indeed they would take you for granted in the end - especially if you're right down the end of their carriage system. The people with successful personal relationships with others have different expectations and rules for the people who live in first, second, third or last class. If we are going to treat first class differently (by offering our most important asset - our hearts) then we should expect that they also behave differently toward us than those in 3rd or 4th class.
There are times though, in everyone's life where people can move between carriages depending on our personal needs at the time. For instance - perhaps you get married. Your spouse, being so close to your heart is in first class exactly where they should be. However, if you were going through a tough period and considered separating then they would move out of the carriage and into another one further down. Perhaps a few years later you get divorced or perhaps you decided you would never see them again. Well then they would move right back down and perhaps off the train altogether. That's life.
That's how things work for those of you lucky enough not to need an external voice of reason.
Apparently, I don't have a carriage system.
I have one carriage: First class.
Once people fuck with me - they exit first class and have nowhere else to go. I watch them tumble onto the tracks below as I speed on away. Sayonara!
MVOR says that I need a carriage system in order to organise people better. Apparently I don't need to execute everyone to hurts me. Instead I can move them down the carriage system so that my expectations of them change as well as my feelings about them - without having to feel angry or hurt for a long time etc.
Easier said than done.
What's your first carriage like?
Meanwhile Musical Monday comes in the form of a mash up. Usually I loathe Mash ups with a passion but this one is highly ace. It's Blondie's Heart of Glass and Arcade Fire's Sprawl 2. It's an excellent, excellent, excellent song made up of two stellar tunes.
Enjoy!
Labels: friends, mash up, musical monday, MVOR, train carriage theory
Monday, March 07, 2011
Random
1) Last week I became a Godmother and yet still no closer to being an ACTUAL mother (except do feel like Mother Mary sometimes with all my saint like qualities, ahem)... I mean didn't a man give birth a couple of years ago? I'm just sayin'...
2) Had breakfast with bro, which is actually more of a momentous occasion than I've cared to explain here... and not in a good way either.
3) New Team Leader and Old Team Leader (err.. the one before me) have joined forces to create a new axis of evil. I am the target. It's great, really. I spend half my life wondering how I get into predicaments like these and the other half wondering how to get out of them. All I ever wanted to do was (and I quote from Buffy, from the original Buffy The Vampire Slayer movie here "graduate from high school, go to Europe, marry Christian Slater, and die". How far off the beaten track have I gone? Pretty fucking far.
4) MVOR decided she would like to know why my inner voice is so mean to me. THAT'S going to be a fun session!
5) I've been looking for some printing press letters so that I can do this to my wall:
Why isn't there a store that sells this stuff?
6) Spending a lot of time listening to The Clash, which reminds me of walking around London town - as it was pretty much the only thing I listened to when I was there last. Bloody hell they are good. Seriously, how can you not agree?
Police on My Back - The Clash
Musical Monday
2) Had breakfast with bro, which is actually more of a momentous occasion than I've cared to explain here... and not in a good way either.
3) New Team Leader and Old Team Leader (err.. the one before me) have joined forces to create a new axis of evil. I am the target. It's great, really. I spend half my life wondering how I get into predicaments like these and the other half wondering how to get out of them. All I ever wanted to do was (and I quote from Buffy, from the original Buffy The Vampire Slayer movie here "graduate from high school, go to Europe, marry Christian Slater, and die". How far off the beaten track have I gone? Pretty fucking far.
4) MVOR decided she would like to know why my inner voice is so mean to me. THAT'S going to be a fun session!
5) I've been looking for some printing press letters so that I can do this to my wall:
Why isn't there a store that sells this stuff?
6) Spending a lot of time listening to The Clash, which reminds me of walking around London town - as it was pretty much the only thing I listened to when I was there last. Bloody hell they are good. Seriously, how can you not agree?
Police on My Back - The Clash
Musical Monday
Labels: blah, musical monday, random
Monday, January 03, 2011
Letters to the Editor
Dear Americans,
Why remake Death at a Funeral? Seriously, why?
We know you have an aversion to subtitles and foreign films and need to remake them immediately before they sully your shores with their "foreignness", but Death at a Funeral isn't subtitled. In fact, they speak English... REAL English! Proper English!
I don't get it. I didn't think the American version was funnier than the British version. I didn't think it was better. I didn't think anything worthwhile was added to the movie in order to justify a remake.
Love Movie Buff.
Dear Young Men playing Football in the Park,
Why must you kick so dangerously close to people who just want to have a picnic and a chat?
This wide brown land has enough room for all of us, even the ones kicking footballs. Where should you go? Okay, you see that spot over there? ... nope, keep going... keep going... keep going... keeeeeeeeeep going... right over THERE. Waaaaaaaaaaay over there. Yes, THERE. That's where you need to go.
Cheers,
Chatter.
Dear Drunktard on NYE in the City,
Your drunken bogan shout: 2011 show me what you've got has become my unlikely slogan for the year.
Who knew wisdom came from a bottle? Okay, yes I did know this..
Thanks
Lover of the Bogan Slogan.
Dear Other Drunktards Laughing Outside my Window as I Type this at 12.30am,
I'm pretty sure you're smoking something illegal.
Carry on.
Cheers,
Amused but Won't be for Much Longer.
Dear Makers of the show Bret Michaels: Life as I Know It,
80s Has Been Rocker who can't come to grips with the aging process - CHECK
Long Blonde Wig and a Bandanna to cover up the receding hairline - CHECK
More Fake Tan than all the members of Jersey Shore combined - CHECK
Kids who are smarter than their Mother and Father - CHECK
Slutty ex-"dancer" - CHECK
Bullshit detector going off every 2 minutes - CHEEEEEEEEEECK!
All the elements are there. Congratulations on another piece of shit Television Show.
I couldn't be more thrilled.
Love, Addicted.
Dear Colin Firth,
You are full of awesome.
Seriously, you are - and this time you weren't even wearing a wet shirt and climbing out of a lake at Pemberley.
For the record, The King's Speech got a round of applause at the cinema - which almost never happens in Melbs.
You were magnificent!
Love, A Looooooooooooooooooooooooong time Fan.
Dear 2011,
Please...
Be Kind.
Please.
Love, Me.
Dear Nick Cave,
I love that you make music to be listened to with Headphones firmly plugged in and a glass of something that burns your throat on the way down.
"O Children" turned that scene in the new Harry Potter movie into art.
This is what you do...
Sublime.
Musical Monday
Love, Music Lover.
Why remake Death at a Funeral? Seriously, why?
We know you have an aversion to subtitles and foreign films and need to remake them immediately before they sully your shores with their "foreignness", but Death at a Funeral isn't subtitled. In fact, they speak English... REAL English! Proper English!
I don't get it. I didn't think the American version was funnier than the British version. I didn't think it was better. I didn't think anything worthwhile was added to the movie in order to justify a remake.
Love Movie Buff.
Dear Young Men playing Football in the Park,
Why must you kick so dangerously close to people who just want to have a picnic and a chat?
This wide brown land has enough room for all of us, even the ones kicking footballs. Where should you go? Okay, you see that spot over there? ... nope, keep going... keep going... keep going... keeeeeeeeeep going... right over THERE. Waaaaaaaaaaay over there. Yes, THERE. That's where you need to go.
Cheers,
Chatter.
Dear Drunktard on NYE in the City,
Your drunken bogan shout: 2011 show me what you've got has become my unlikely slogan for the year.
Who knew wisdom came from a bottle? Okay, yes I did know this..
Thanks
Lover of the Bogan Slogan.
Dear Other Drunktards Laughing Outside my Window as I Type this at 12.30am,
I'm pretty sure you're smoking something illegal.
Carry on.
Cheers,
Amused but Won't be for Much Longer.
Dear Makers of the show Bret Michaels: Life as I Know It,
80s Has Been Rocker who can't come to grips with the aging process - CHECK
Long Blonde Wig and a Bandanna to cover up the receding hairline - CHECK
More Fake Tan than all the members of Jersey Shore combined - CHECK
Kids who are smarter than their Mother and Father - CHECK
Slutty ex-"dancer" - CHECK
Bullshit detector going off every 2 minutes - CHEEEEEEEEEECK!
All the elements are there. Congratulations on another piece of shit Television Show.
I couldn't be more thrilled.
Love, Addicted.
Dear Colin Firth,
You are full of awesome.
Seriously, you are - and this time you weren't even wearing a wet shirt and climbing out of a lake at Pemberley.
For the record, The King's Speech got a round of applause at the cinema - which almost never happens in Melbs.
You were magnificent!
Love, A Looooooooooooooooooooooooong time Fan.
Dear 2011,
Please...
Be Kind.
Please.
Love, Me.
Dear Nick Cave,
I love that you make music to be listened to with Headphones firmly plugged in and a glass of something that burns your throat on the way down.
"O Children" turned that scene in the new Harry Potter movie into art.
This is what you do...
Sublime.
Musical Monday
Love, Music Lover.
Labels: cinema, letters, movies, mr darcy, musical monday, US
Sunday, December 12, 2010
I'll be the fire in your flaming star
I'm having a difficult time trying to grasp my current work situation. I'm working with a new "manager" who pretty much does nothing but talks a good game in order to cover up. As a consequence she always comes up smelling like roses despite her shortcomings..
The new manager has come in following a decision I made not to renew my managerial role with my team. Why did I do that? I was getting sick of doing a lot of work that was way above the position I was being paid for. I was also tired of working with and basically trying to hold together a team that upper management knew didn't work well together. When I saw that upper management left the team as is, I knew I had to get out or go crazy! Upper management made a very bad decision as to who they brought in to replace me (against my advise actually). They needed someone dynamic, hard working, someone who has good ideas and is enthusiastic. We got the opposite - but she is the Prin's "golden girl".
My natural instinct when faced with incompetent people is to come in and mop up the mess. I'm a pleaser, you see. This time, with advise I've decided not to be the pleaser. I've decided to take a step back and be the selfish observer. If she comes to me for advise then I will gladly help her though. I want the team to run smoothly but I also don't want to be doing someone elses job.
Before our planning meeting I emailed new manager a list of what needs to be done, and she did not address any of the things on the list. In fact she spent the day (6 hours) filling in a student evaluation card. I'd imagine that if you were a manager you would want to get everything on track quickly - I'd also imagine that if you had 21 years in the industry and at least 10 of those years in senior management you would know how to chair a meeting. I get the feeling she is playing "funny buggers" and trying to trick everyone into doing the work for her.
I don't think I know how to handle this situation further.
Have you ever dealt with someone like this? What can I do? Heeeeeelp!
Meanwhile onto Musical Monday - Today: At First Sight - The Stems.
How I love this song! oh, it's glorious twangy guitar and smileworthy lyrics. So melodic! So beautiful. This song, like so many others has come right along and nestled right into my heart. I have to make a confession dear reader (how many are there left? Two? Three?) Every other day I thank my lucky stars (and I don't have that many believe me) that I can hear and listen and imagine and that is not a word of a lie. Scouts honour and all that. I just don't know what I'd do if I couldn't hear these little tunes that have somehow become the best kind of family a girl could have.
The new manager has come in following a decision I made not to renew my managerial role with my team. Why did I do that? I was getting sick of doing a lot of work that was way above the position I was being paid for. I was also tired of working with and basically trying to hold together a team that upper management knew didn't work well together. When I saw that upper management left the team as is, I knew I had to get out or go crazy! Upper management made a very bad decision as to who they brought in to replace me (against my advise actually). They needed someone dynamic, hard working, someone who has good ideas and is enthusiastic. We got the opposite - but she is the Prin's "golden girl".
My natural instinct when faced with incompetent people is to come in and mop up the mess. I'm a pleaser, you see. This time, with advise I've decided not to be the pleaser. I've decided to take a step back and be the selfish observer. If she comes to me for advise then I will gladly help her though. I want the team to run smoothly but I also don't want to be doing someone elses job.
Before our planning meeting I emailed new manager a list of what needs to be done, and she did not address any of the things on the list. In fact she spent the day (6 hours) filling in a student evaluation card. I'd imagine that if you were a manager you would want to get everything on track quickly - I'd also imagine that if you had 21 years in the industry and at least 10 of those years in senior management you would know how to chair a meeting. I get the feeling she is playing "funny buggers" and trying to trick everyone into doing the work for her.
I don't think I know how to handle this situation further.
Have you ever dealt with someone like this? What can I do? Heeeeeelp!
Meanwhile onto Musical Monday - Today: At First Sight - The Stems.
How I love this song! oh, it's glorious twangy guitar and smileworthy lyrics. So melodic! So beautiful. This song, like so many others has come right along and nestled right into my heart. I have to make a confession dear reader (how many are there left? Two? Three?) Every other day I thank my lucky stars (and I don't have that many believe me) that I can hear and listen and imagine and that is not a word of a lie. Scouts honour and all that. I just don't know what I'd do if I couldn't hear these little tunes that have somehow become the best kind of family a girl could have.
Labels: musical monday, rant, stressed teachers, stupid people, work
Tuesday, November 23, 2010
Death Cloud
1) I started typing out my Musical Monday post last night
2) then I fell asleep in front of the computer half way through
3) then I had a DREAM that I finished the blog
4) then I woke up and turned off the computer satisfied in my great blogging feats.
5) NOW I've just logged in to find that clearly I have lost my mind. There was no blog. There was no Musical Monday.
Perhaps my life is being directed by David Lynch? I dunno.
I'm in a bit of a muddle at the moment. There are lots of muddles about... puddles of muddles in fact but this one is tiny, petty and probably blog friendly...
I made arrangements to go see an author speak about his work this week. A couple of us from school decided we would go, because clearly you're not a real teacher unless you do dorky things like go see authors speak.. Anyway the two people I planned to go with are people I'm friendly with. One other person has now been invited.
We hate each other.
I hate him. He hates me. It's mutual. I don't want to go into it but in the end I made a formal complaint about him to management. When it comes to me, he is not good people. I want to go to this event but I am far too exhausted to draw battle lines and build moats/stone walls in order to protect myself.
Mutual friend would not be happy if I didn't go, but I don't want to spend my personal time with this other guy. Hell, if he's in the staff room I make sure I am not! THAT'S how far I go to avoid him..
Is it immature of me to pike out on the night?
What would you do?
As for Musical Monday. I am LOVING this song:
Death Cloud - Cloud Control
Musical Monday
2) then I fell asleep in front of the computer half way through
3) then I had a DREAM that I finished the blog
4) then I woke up and turned off the computer satisfied in my great blogging feats.
5) NOW I've just logged in to find that clearly I have lost my mind. There was no blog. There was no Musical Monday.
Perhaps my life is being directed by David Lynch? I dunno.
I'm in a bit of a muddle at the moment. There are lots of muddles about... puddles of muddles in fact but this one is tiny, petty and probably blog friendly...
I made arrangements to go see an author speak about his work this week. A couple of us from school decided we would go, because clearly you're not a real teacher unless you do dorky things like go see authors speak.. Anyway the two people I planned to go with are people I'm friendly with. One other person has now been invited.
We hate each other.
I hate him. He hates me. It's mutual. I don't want to go into it but in the end I made a formal complaint about him to management. When it comes to me, he is not good people. I want to go to this event but I am far too exhausted to draw battle lines and build moats/stone walls in order to protect myself.
Mutual friend would not be happy if I didn't go, but I don't want to spend my personal time with this other guy. Hell, if he's in the staff room I make sure I am not! THAT'S how far I go to avoid him..
Is it immature of me to pike out on the night?
What would you do?
As for Musical Monday. I am LOVING this song:
Death Cloud - Cloud Control
Musical Monday
Labels: chicken, enemies, friends, musical monday, stressed teachers
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