[Miscellany]

Dear Americans,

Why remake Death at a Funeral? Seriously, why?

We know you have an aversion to subtitles and foreign films and need to remake them immediately before they sully your shores with their "foreignness", but Death at a Funeral isn't subtitled. In fact, they speak English... REAL English! Proper English!

I don't get it. I didn't think the American version was funnier than the British version. I didn't think it was better. I didn't think anything worthwhile was added to the movie in order to justify a remake.

Love Movie Buff.


Dear Young Men playing Football in the Park,

Why must you kick so dangerously close to people who just want to have a picnic and a chat?

This wide brown land has enough room for all of us, even the ones kicking footballs. Where should you go? Okay, you see that spot over there? ... nope, keep going... keep going... keep going... keeeeeeeeeep going... right over THERE. Waaaaaaaaaaay over there. Yes, THERE. That's where you need to go.

Cheers,
Chatter.


Dear Drunktard on NYE in the City,

Your drunken bogan shout: 2011 show me what you've got has become my unlikely slogan for the year.

Who knew wisdom came from a bottle? Okay, yes I did know this..

Thanks
Lover of the Bogan Slogan.



Dear Other Drunktards Laughing Outside my Window as I Type this at 12.30am,

I'm pretty sure you're smoking something illegal.

Carry on.

Cheers,
Amused but Won't be for Much Longer.



Dear Makers of the show Bret Michaels: Life as I Know It,

80s Has Been Rocker who can't come to grips with the aging process - CHECK
Long Blonde Wig and a Bandanna to cover up the receding hairline - CHECK
More Fake Tan than all the members of Jersey Shore combined - CHECK
Kids who are smarter than their Mother and Father - CHECK
Slutty ex-"dancer" - CHECK
Bullshit detector going off every 2 minutes - CHEEEEEEEEEECK!

All the elements are there. Congratulations on another piece of shit Television Show.
I couldn't be more thrilled.

Love, Addicted.


Dear Colin Firth,

You are full of awesome.
Seriously, you are - and this time you weren't even wearing a wet shirt and climbing out of a lake at Pemberley.

For the record, The King's Speech got a round of applause at the cinema - which almost never happens in Melbs.

You were magnificent!
Love, A Looooooooooooooooooooooooong time Fan.



Dear 2011,

Please...
Be Kind.
Please.

Love, Me.


Dear Nick Cave,

I love that you make music to be listened to with Headphones firmly plugged in and a glass of something that burns your throat on the way down.

"O Children" turned that scene in the new Harry Potter movie into art.
This is what you do...
Sublime.




Musical Monday

Love, Music Lover.

Labels: cinema, letters, movies, mr darcy, musical monday, US

posted by M at 12:05 am 5 comments

* Apparently GW is in the country. I don't want any Americans reading the old blog to take offense at this (because I do loves ya) but you know what I think is wrong with Australia? America.

You know what I think is right with Australia?

Eight ABC cast and crew members and three hired drivers have been charged with entering a restricted area without justification.

The group was arrested after staging a fake motorcade through Sydney's CBD and were stopped near the InterContinental Hotel where US President George W Bush is staying.

One of the Chaser crew was dressed as Osama bin Laden.

Taken from here

I laughed, and laughed and laughed. Then I had to stop to catch my breath and I laughed and laughed again. Bless their cotton socks - I have faith in my country again.


* Anyway, I'm sure you're all dying to know (haha, I know you're not but anyway..): The first thing she picked up on was women's issues - low self esteem, sexuality etc, job stress and real estate. She got out her rocks "looks like I'm going to need these for you" she said. I have to add here that all of my friends who have gone to see her have not had the "rocks" - I figure this is heavy artillery reserved for the total nutjobs like myself. Unfortunately she didn't stone me to death (which might have been a sweet relief) but instead placed them at certain points over my body. Don't ask me why. She pinpointed exactly (in detail) what was upsetting me about my job and implied that there was a transfer for me but not out of the school - which is also right on the money. The transfer is to where I belong - with the younger children and special ed kids. Well, yes - there's the choice I discussed a few entries back... I take this to mean where I've been leaning towards anyway, which is going back to teach inside a classroom and with the preps.

Then of course real estate. She went into many personal financial details that resulted from my father's death and gave me the low down on that... Anyway, the point is that things are very murky and in order for me to get anywhere in my life (and she basically put everything down to this) I have to sort out these issues first. I had a talk to my mother about these details - "who have you been speaking to?" she asked. Ohhh, just ...someone.

Then the wrong guy (description right on the money) - totally wrong - as in don't go there girlfriend or I will shank you.

Then the right guy who may I add say sounds completely and utterly wrong in every way possible. So wrong in fact that I've decided to avoid him should he actually come along.

I'd love YOUR interpretation on 'I see chains around him' because all I'm seeing is a Mr T type fellow with an open shirt, a whip in one hand and a prison tattoo on his butt that says "Bubba's Bitch". I pity the foo.. who marries him!

Oh and apparently "writing" is my thing. lol, who knew?

One interesting thing she said was "you're not getting what you deserve ..and I mean that in every way. You deserve a whole lot more". You know what? I fully agree.

Labels: about me, divination, political musings, school, US

posted by M at 11:24 pm 18 comments