[Miscellany]

I have a lottery ticket in my purse which was drawn last week but which I haven't yet checked. I could be sitting on a million for all I know and then again I might not be. The chances of it not being a winner are almost 100% but it's the .0009% that I'm most interested in. It's like a flash of excitement. A clock ticking. bell chiming. That .0009% is a morsel of hope, something which exists, even at my lowest point.

Perhaps hope is instinctual - like breathing or coughing. I imagine if someone decides to drown themselves, their mind is made up but the body has other ideas. At some point the human instinct kicks in and the body tries with all its might to get to the surface and breathe in some oxygen. The body tries to live, even if the mind wants to die.

Perhaps that's what happens when hope kicks in too. One may be at the end, the edge, so to speak - with no loveliness and no kindness and no joy but then there it is - like a kiss on the cheek; hope. Hope stops you from jumping. It stops you from dying. You grab onto it and clutch at it and somehow pull yourself up and out of the doldrums. While it is yours, hope is your best friend and your only chance of survival. Hope is a smile in a sea of frowns and a laugh in a serious boardroom meeting. She is impossible not to love.

I like having hope but I don't like living with it. She is beguiling and yet deceitful. She draws you in, makes you feel comfortable and then, if you are me - is then crushed, dashed, falsified. Crushed hopes are worse than no hope at all it seems. And yet, instinctively I find some more hope, even where you would think that hope would be lost. It's infuriating. I am constantly fielding the battle between having hope and picking myself up after losing it.

Somehow this ticket in my purse has grown to symbolise every morsel of hope I have left in the world and yet I am destined to never check it for fear of losing it, once again.

Labels: crazy people, hope, MVOR, random, rant, wonderings

posted by M at 12:17 am 6 comments

1) Last week I became a Godmother and yet still no closer to being an ACTUAL mother (except do feel like Mother Mary sometimes with all my saint like qualities, ahem)... I mean didn't a man give birth a couple of years ago? I'm just sayin'...

2) Had breakfast with bro, which is actually more of a momentous occasion than I've cared to explain here... and not in a good way either.

3) New Team Leader and Old Team Leader (err.. the one before me) have joined forces to create a new axis of evil. I am the target. It's great, really. I spend half my life wondering how I get into predicaments like these and the other half wondering how to get out of them. All I ever wanted to do was (and I quote from Buffy, from the original Buffy The Vampire Slayer movie here "graduate from high school, go to Europe, marry Christian Slater, and die". How far off the beaten track have I gone? Pretty fucking far.

4) MVOR decided she would like to know why my inner voice is so mean to me. THAT'S going to be a fun session!

5) I've been looking for some printing press letters so that I can do this to my wall:



Why isn't there a store that sells this stuff?

6) Spending a lot of time listening to The Clash, which reminds me of walking around London town - as it was pretty much the only thing I listened to when I was there last. Bloody hell they are good. Seriously, how can you not agree?

Police on My Back - The Clash





Musical Monday

Labels: blah, musical monday, random

posted by M at 1:21 am 4 comments

* I'm pretty much doubting the sincerity of 80% of my friendships.

* I don't know whether I'm leadership material, and even if I am - I don't especially like it.

* I've read enough about football culture in the last month to know that I never, ever want any child of mine to be a part of it.

* It's unfair that the moment "they" announced they weren't closing schools down that had swine flu cases that my school got it's first swine. Oink, oink indeed.

* I wouldn't go so far as to call myself a Lilly Allen fan but I've had her version of Brittany Spears' Womanizer on repeat for about a week now. It's awesome.

* Three words: Robert Pattinson, HOT. Not exactly the most eloquent way to put it but it's simply true. I only feel slightly ashamed as am old enough to be his grandmother.

* I live a life of complete compliance with the system. I get up, work hard, suffer incredible guilt for not being able to offer more, and pretty much have that on repeat day in day out. Every single year it feels even more wrong. It's difficult for me to accept that I've kept at it this long and yet, show no signs of ending my association with this thing called "the daily grind".

* I spend too much time with the heater on and me sitting in front of it. For a girl who could never seem to get cool enough I've suddenly got a body core temperature of about -10. I wore socks to bed for the first time in about 15 years the other night. I'm either in my early 30s or early 60s, you decide.

* Nutella is man's greatest invention. Yes, this is above sliced bread. Bless Ferrero for trying to pass it off as a healthy nut spread. I wish I could bring as much creativity to my everyday life <3

* ...did I mention the doubting friendships bit?

Labels: nuts, random

posted by M at 10:57 pm 15 comments

* Is it wrong to wish for Swine Flu? Two local-ish schools have been closed down due to it recently and ... well, a girl can dream can't she? It may be wrong, but at least it's something to strive for.

* Reports are due tomorrow... haven't started. I've taken procrastination to a whole new level this year. I was reading a book recently about the burn out that 30 somethings feel when it comes to their career. In a manner of speaking, I've lost my "give a shit". Probably not so good when you're in my industry. Also, especially bad when you have a bad case of foot in mouth-itis. On a good day I'm known for saying things I shouldn't, and so now that I've lost my "give a shit" then I'm really in the poo. That part of me that keeps things in check, that sits on my shoulder and tells me to shut it, has packed her bags and gone to FNQ for an extended holiday. Meanwhile big mouth is offending people all over the place. Oops (nah, don't care).

* I happened across episodes of "That 80s Show". Did anyone else ever watch this? It's basically about a guy and his family living in the 80s. Sort of like That 70s show but less funny and with less cute boys in it. Despite the bad acting, rough production and dubious storyline I still loved it though. Now that I'm watching it I'm kinda bummed all over again about it being axed. Meanwhile, Law and Order or CSI or whatever has spin offs galore.

* I did something bad. Very, very bad. I watched the movie The Lake House AND understood it. Okay, I lie. I watched it TWICE in order to understand it. Yes, you see I WANTED to understand it and DIDN'T have enough brains to get it the first time so I watched it AGAIN! Then I did a whole bunch of THINKING about it in order to really cement the idea in my head. Yes, I was INTERESTED enough in the movie to dedicate 4 hours instead of 2 of MY LIFE towards understanding it. That's pretty fucked up. I can't think of anything I've done lately that compares to this level of loserness and that is saying a lot. Do you think I'm mentally challenged (read: retarded)?

* I want a big wall clock to hang on my wall. I want somethig quirky but not stupid (ie: NOT a cat with eyes that go side to side and tail pendulum). Nothing I've seen at the shops really does it for me. Does anyone know any cool websites that have BIG wall clocks?

Labels: bad things, dumb, lemon out, random, the list, things that people with low IQ do

posted by M at 10:12 pm 8 comments

confessions:

* At the school I am the teacher that tells all the parents when their child is going to receive a certificate at assembly even though it is school policy not to tell parents about the honour. So sue me.

* Olympics schmamimpics. I couldn't give a fuck.

* ....However, are we (the rest of the world) united in our unified hatred of the US team? yes? Good - just checking.

* I'm being geared for leadership at the school. I have ABSOLUTELY NO IDEA how I ended up in this situation. I have done almost everything in my power to resist this kind of career path, believe me. I hate management. I like hating management. I even like hating the management that do not manage me! If you tell me you're a manager of some kind I do not think "wow, that person must have worked hard to get where they are" I think "what a suck. Boooo. BOOOOOOOOOOO!! GO HOME SCAB!" hm...I think I may be having an existential crisis.

* On the leadership issue. I've taken on a temporary job at the school, which quite frankly I'm better at than the person who holds the position full time and everyone knows it. The problem is that when that person comes back to the fold there may be people (not me!!) who may suggest that the role stays with me. This is bad because it's going to start a whole bunch of animosity between me and leader #1. I don't want any part of it - but once it's already out there... then it's already out there if you know what I mean.

* Do you ever get to your last bit of chocolate and think oh my god this cannot be IT? There is never enough chocolate. Am I the only person that thinks this?

* Am finding over work and stress to be a problem. Feeling like my light is fading and that I'm slowly disappearing. I used to know myself so well, now I feel like there isn't anything left to get to know. It's like I'm disappearing under a mound of work. All I want to do is sleep or lay in bed watching episodes of The Golden Girls on DVD. Can one take a paid sabbatical purely for Golden Girls viewing? Surely this counts as good mental health? It was the Sex and the City of the 80s, after all - a good pep up for any girl.

* Possible travel places at the end of the year: Egypt, Florence, Paris, London. Just realised that tickets are double the price they were 5 years ago. DOUBLE! That's almost to $4,000. FOUR THOUSAND if you're wanting to take a couple of extra flight deviations that is. I think I need to completely relocate to a country that is not an island nation isolated in arguably the most boring part of the world and filled with travel destinations that only bogan Aussies would want to travel to (ie: Bali, beaches of QLD, Thailand etc).

* Have become pathetically addicted to a show called "Millionaire Matchmaker" on Arena. Basically it's a show about a woman who owns a dating company that caters for millionaire men and find them their 'perfect girl'. The complications arise with this little spanner in the works are as follows: being rich doesn't mean that people don't still notice that you're a dickhead and avoid you like the plague because of it! and looking for love is not the same as sitting on Santa's knee and asking for a Christmas present. I love these little studies in human psychology.

* The other night at the parent forum we had. I got secretly drunk. Listening to people complain is a lot more fun when you're off your face. I highly suggest it at your next meeting.

* I don't know why I haven't written for so long. I guess I just didn't know what to say.

Labels: random

posted by M at 9:56 pm 20 comments

* I hate hay fever. For many years I've been the person that scoffs at people who have hay fever. You feeling sniffly? Have runny eyes? An itchy throat? Well BUILD A BRIDGE buster. Wah, wah, waaaah - get over it. How bad can it really be? That was typical of back when I didn't get hay fever - aka: the golden years. Now that I'm afflicted with it I take those sentiments back. I take it all back 10 fold. I've decided that spring is an evil season filled with horrible hay fever inducing elements and I hate it! Hay fever feels like having a permanent cold. It's ridiculous - I pretty much look like someone has punched me in the face every morning. mmmm Attractive. Claratine does nothing for me either. Is there some way short of cutting out my sinuses that will actually relieve my symptoms?

* School has started once again. Monday was fabulous! No water in the AR. We were doing clay which would have to be the worlds worst activity to do when you don't have water on hand. I had to supply 4 grades of preps with latex gloves so that their hands didn't get dirty. Have you ever tried to get 25 children put on adult sized latex gloves simultaneously? Yeah, it wasn't the best.

* Another one of my friends recently gave birth to a baby. Almost all my friends have given birth to sons. It's interesting to see what names people pick. It's widely thought in teaching that boys with J names end up having issues - it might be behavioural or learning difficulties or social difficulties. I've gone through all the J boys I've taught - freaks, all of them. There was the kid that I couldn't understand. Then there was the kleptomaniac. Then the kid who pretended to read by just saying random words and then the one who had depression. There have been a lot of maladjusted J boys in my life. I think the freak factor balances out in later life but it IS a bit of a weird phenomenon. I've since gone back and realised that pretty much all the kids I've taught are pretty freaky. Maybe it's not just J boys after all.


I've been tagged by Girlabout to produce 7 interesting/weird facts about me. I pretty much think that everything about me is weird but anyway here goes.

1) I have no middle name.

2) I'm messy but pedantic when it comes to certain things. For instance, I'm on staff room duty this week and driving everyone crazy because yes I have to put all the white mugs together and all the coloured mugs together and all the flowery mugs together and if they don't go together then I break out in a sweat. Meanwhile my desk is so messy I can't even use it to lean on so I can write a note.

3) I keep letters from children that say nice things like "you are the best teacher in the world!!!<3<3<3" (which is a letter that all teachers receive at some point in their career). I've got a lot of them. They're sweet.

4) I love getting into my pjs and sipping hot chocolate from underneath my bed doona. I do it often.

5) Sometimes I just get tired of talking and want to be silent. It annoys me when people try to engage me in conversation when I feel like this. In fact I've been known to get irrationally pissed off at people for talking to me when I don't want to talk back.

6) I'm in one of those moods right now.

7) I don't think teaching is in my distant future.

Labels: dumb entry, meme, random, soppy bloggy stuff

posted by M at 2:01 pm 18 comments

I am oft asked about what brings people to my blog. Of course they always ask in a mildly condescending and amused way - like as if they don't quite believe anyone comes here at all. Well..okay fine who needs readers anyway? Especially that is when you have search engine stats to answer when you run out of real entries to write.

Do men find breast implants attractive?

I don't know. I take it that boobs in the presense of men are attractive so in that case, yes they do. Then again 99% of implants LOOK like implants. I find boobs attractive (yes, I do) but as soon as I can pick an implant I'm put off - so maybe men are too.


melbourne teen fuck

..but I thought Mark Philippoussis was in living in the US.


bow wow wow blogspot.com

I hate it when dogs have their own website.

what women really want anyway?

Ultimately? - A guy/girl who actually loves us so much they want to be with us forever instead of just one night (or even just appreciation)

Immediately? - chocolate.

I think we both might be just as unattainable I'm afraid.

I've been thinking about this. What an interesting concept - I wonder if being unattainable is a state of mind that exist within the unattainable or whether it exists in the mind of someone trying to attain them?

bucks night surprise stories.

surprise, the stripper has a penis!

art melbourne blog.

haha, wrong place.

small chested blogspot.

err...wrong place.

do guys love inverted nipples?

When it comes to nipples guys are known for either being a) perverted b) picky c) grateful d) all of the above. But let's ask them. Do you?

I don't want to haggle.

Join the club.

miscellany.

story of my life


do men like fake boobs.

definitely not on strippers with surprise penises.

Labels: dumb entry, questions, random

posted by M at 8:19 am 17 comments

This week there has been a birth, a mourning, a silly dress up day and I went to view a house in a suburb that has the same name as a popular grammy award winning song by daggy 70s band. I've had the offending song in my head all week long. If I do end up moving to this suburb I have to wonder if I will have the song permanently embedded there. I wouldn't put it past my brain to do something like that. Perhaps I should look for places in suburbs that have no associations with 70s bands.

* I've upped my house hunting from 0 to hero in the last couple of weeks. Searching dropped off last year when I realised that I have no buying power. Now I'm back - still with little buying power (and higher interest rates) - but I've stopped looking at Victorian single fronted cottages with open fireplaces. That was a hard dream to let go of. A girl like me deserves an open fire place dammit but I figure that since I squeal at all things creepy crawly then I really shouldn't have a gaping hole in my (imaginary) house. I also figure that if I want a fireplace I can always light one in a garbage can out the front of my future house. I'm feeling that would be okay in the kind of neighbourhood I'm looking at.

* Across to a nicer side of town my friend, S sits in her hospital room having just given birth to a baby that has been rushed to another hospital, pending an operation that may or may not work. She asks for my prayers - not being religious herself. Not being religious myself I don't know how to offer that either. I send out into the universe the only thing I can and that is hope. Hope that things go well, hope that she has the strength to get through whatever comes and an ear... should she need it.

* School has brought with it a silly dress up day coupled with a theme. I must say, school communities these days are much more involved then they were in the 80s when I went to school. Almost all teachers made a supreme effort as did students. I put on a black wig to commemorate a character and was told by half the staff that I should go black and the other half that they're glad I'm closer to honey. All the kids did a double take - hilarious.

* One Aspergers child at our school has a new obsession - music. He's 7 and right into bands like Talking Heads, The Ramones, Bow Wow Wow, Coldplay, Mozart etc. I knew he had okay tastes when he proclaimed loudly in class the other day that Rhianna's "Umbrella" sounded like a dog dying on the street. I laughed and laughed. Being Aspergers his mind has already worked to categorise hundreds if not thousands of songs he's come across into neat little boxes inside his head. He can name songs in correct order on all the albums he has come across. Being an especially bright kid (on top of the Aspergers) he has already figured out how to apply for a credit card on the internet and start downloading many songs legally. I don't know how a 7 year old got his own credit card (yes, he put in his correct DOB) but let me tell you his parents weren't impressed. We have a few Aspergers children at the school and they are all so different from each other, all with varying degrees of the condition. I wonder what this one especially going to be like as an adult - he has quite a severe case.

* My friend M has suffered a miscarriage. About 1 in 4 women do, apparently and I know many, many, many who have. This is an especially devastating blow for M though because it was a bit of a minor miracle the pregnancy happened in the first place. I'm seeing her tomorrow. I'm banking on it being a bit of an emotional get together.

Labels: babies, friends, house, music, news, random

posted by M at 7:45 pm 23 comments

You like the contrast between sound and vision of driving through whitebread suburban streets while listening to foreign music.

The only thing that keeps you from being compeltely sick of being you is not knowing who you really are yet.

Life has become so cloudy, you're wondering if you even exist.

You like evesdropping on conversations between people on the street. You heard someone say "it doesn't count if you're not naked" today and your imagination went into overdrive.

You overhead someone else say "I laughed but I didn't mean it" and without knowing what they were talking about you understood, completely.

This is the last taste of summer - spa room warmth under a cloudy sky.

You get a lot more action in your dreams than anywhere else.

Blog, wherefore art thou?

You're living life through the shower screen door. Every so often you bring a hand up to wipe away the mist and peek out before disappearing under the spray again.

Your life from within a cinema theatre is perfect. Absolutely perfect.

You're more observant than people think.

You hurt more than you will ever allow people to think.

Sometimes the day exists purely as a long drawn out corridor from dream to dream.

Sometimes people are like goatsbeard. You think you've got them when you pick it, but you blow and ... Best not to pick flowers at all, you think.

Looking from the inside out: there is beauty in all things.

Gravel underneath shoes piercing the silence of the afternoon.

Breathing sleeplessness into the pillows, every position has it's limitations.

At this point you would do almost anything to avoid going back to work on Monday.

Labels: dumb, random, wonderings

posted by M at 2:43 am 27 comments

* Blogger has decided to give me a little push into "new blogger". So when I next log in I'll be shiny and new. Buuuuuuut, since I am a glass half empty kind of girl I suggest you go right ahead to my profile (link at bottom of page) and memorise my email address just in case it all goes to shit and I can't log in anymore (like I've heard so many horror stories about). If you want you can contact me personally to find out where I am if things go wrong (too many of you guys don't have email addies so I can't even look you up!). Apart from that - wish me luck. I'll probably give it a go in a couple of days.

* I was reading an article about how there is a man shortage in Melbourne from ages 19-39. They said that if women wanted their odds to improve in the man sense we needed to move to suburbs that have need for man muscle (haha). Sorry to say..the suburbs listed sounded a bit dodgy (as in safety) - tell me a single woman is going to pack up and move to Sale or Hoppers Crossing? Err..sorry to anyone who lives there.

But it stands to reason that if there are a lot of single women then of course there must be a lot of single men as well, no? Is it men or is it women who are deciding not to get married? Since pretty much all my friends are married and are starting that baby crusade thing this whole article seems very foreign to me. I mean, of course there IS ME that is a prime example of this but I might just be a social leper anyway. So, what's the deal? Do women really want to remain single or do men? And why are defacto couples considered 'single' anyway? Any woman in a defacto relationship is very much describing herself as taken but men still hang on to the title 'single' like it's going out of fashion. Why is that? Defacto is the same thing as married these days - even law wise.

* For the past couple of weeks there have been late night Rocky movies on TV. It brings back memories of me taping my eyes over with scotch tape and doing Sly Stallone impressions for anyone that would take the time to watch. Yeah, some girls twirl, twirl, twirl - others do Rocky impressions. Gee, perhaps I *should* move to Sale, it might be the only chance I have left. The latest Rocky movie to hit the tele is Rocky IV (you know, the one where he fights the Russian). Has there ever been a more evil character ever invented in a movie than "the Russian"? He's so stoic, a murderer and...kind of MEAN. Gee, when it comes to 'political messages concerning the cold war' in movies the Americans really don't beat around the bush do they? Ooooee. Also in other life altering questions; has there ever been a more idiotic sport than boxing? I don't understand why anyone would get involved in it OR watch it for entertainment.

*Musical Monday: No big story. I just really love the song Cannonball by The Breeders. Is there anyone cooler than Kim Deal? I've done a Pixies MM before and I'll do one again. I still think of this song as contemporary but when I looked it up I realised that it's already 14 years old. 14 YEARS! Do you ever get the feeling that time gets harder and harder to keep up with the older you get? I have a feeling I'm always going to be 19 in my head. I hope you love the song as much as I do. I think it's timeless, fun, melodic and messy. Don't you just love that in a song?

Cannonball - The Breeders

Labels: man shortage, men, musical monday, random

posted by M at 9:40 pm 33 comments

* In the last week in Melbourne three men have been apprehended for filming up women's skirts. One made a long term career of it on various trams in Melbourne (no job, used the dole to purchase a MET card). Two others were discovered doing the same at the Australian Open tennis. For fucks sake - what is the big attraction? I can understand wanting to look at the vag of someone you're actually a chance with, but randoms? Let me tell you, when plumbers crack is involved I LOOK AWAY IN HORROR! Meanwhile, men are filming crack! Is there any hope for humanity at all?

* Hillary Clinton is IN! Boy do I wish I could vote. She's a smart lady and I love the idea of Bill Clinton being the first lady (what would they call him?). The other guy looks much too young to run his own lemonade stand let alone a country, but hell who knows? Can the US get the stick out of its arse and ever vote for a female president or a black one for that matter? If Australia was in the same position I'd unfortunately say that a woman would stand NEXT TO NO CHANCE. As for a black person - well, there are so many aboriginal members of parliament aren't there? We really should be ashamed.

* I caught up with #2 and R for lunch yesterday. R is only a few weeks away from giving birth and was talking about how her husband doesn't want her to have an epidural because he doesn't want a cone head child (there was some lame reasoning behind this). Say what? R told him where to go. Let me tell you, they have not yet invented the kind of hardcore drugs that I would take during labour. THE BABY GOES THROUGH THE VAGINA! Jesus christ.

* I'm starting to panic about going back to school next week. Really panic. I'm not ready for the exhaustion and mental drain that is the nature of teaching. Sometimes I feel like I'm putting on a suit of armor every morning when I get up for work and fighting off the masses. I guess people really don't understand how difficult it can be unless you've actually given it a go. There's a lot I love about teaching, but sometimes I wish I had other talents or qualifications that would allow me the option of doing something different for a while just so I could compare.

Labels: babies, random, school

posted by M at 11:06 am 71 comments

Last night I had a school anxiety dream. This is particularly strange because I've only been on holidays for a week and have not been thinking about school more than normal for a teacher. Usually I have school anxiety dreams for a week leading up to going back to work, not at the beginning of the holidays. Maybe there are underlying stresses that are playing havoc with my mind at the moment. God knows, Christmas is usually SUCH a relaxing time. pfe.

The dream involved me having to traffic all the grades to their respective classes. All the rooms were arranged so that you had to walk through one room to get to another. Despite reminding my 'grade' to be well behaved and quiet as they walked through the other classrooms, the grades that I was 'delivering' were always disruptive and behaving like idiots. No matter what I did, nothing seemed to be able to calm the kids down. At the end of that dream one of my ex-colleagues showed me her new classroom - for the world's messiest woman she had certainly cleaned up! It was immaculate. I stood there wondering how she had become so polished while I was having such a hard time being the "traffic warden". Then she presented to me her new pet dog. It was a Shitzu Maltese but scruffier looking. I went to pet it and it bared it's teeth but didn't growl. I petted it anyway but was wary of being bitten.

In the next dream I felt like I had a split personality. I was a man who was being accused of murdering 4 people. I was also all of the people being murdered, I was also the judge listening to the testimony and I was the impartial reporter on scene to relay the story. The dream actually started with a montage of the killings with flashes of newspaper headlines in-between each killing. Then I was the guy, pacing up and down a grey coloured room with only a long table in it. Each newspaper cut out (which I had also written) and headline of the killing were evenly spread out across the table. As I moved along the table towards each individual newspaper article, I was asked to explain to the judge (myself) how I had killed each person. In the dream, the murderer (me) was also a doctor. Each victim was a patient (me) who had come to the doctor (me) with pain in their muscles. I, the murderer doctor explained to the judge (me) that I was only trying to help each patient with their pain by administering a pain reliever by injection to the side of the head. As the judge I tried to think of only the facts without all the extra emotion I also happened to be feeling as the murderer. Then, as I was explaining how I did it, I became each patient living through the excruciating pain of having a needle put through the side of my head and feeling the poison travel through my muscles and veins and killing all my brain cells. I was in so much pain, I woke up.

In happier news today I made myself pancakes and I flipped them all by myself and they didn't stick to the pan and they didn't even burn! I may be a murderer in my own dreams but when it comes to breakfast foods, I rock.

*edit* I almost forgot. Yesterday I got a phone call from the psychic. She even called bro trying to get a hold of me - but didn't call other people who had also gone to see her (I know because I checked with other people). She's not even in the country! She said, I don't know when I'll be back but I'll see you when I do. That can't be good. Quite frankly, I'm shitting myself.

Labels: dreams, random

posted by M at 11:11 am 24 comments

Is it wrong to get the Mexican Hat Dance song in your head every time you go out for Mexican food?

Is it wrong to not clean your car for a whole year?

Is it wrong to beat your 6 year old cousin at connect four and yell in your FACE, I WIN AGAIN?

Is it wrong to eat for 5 hours in one day?

Is it wrong to wish that Christmas would all soon be over so we can get back to normal (crappy) life?

Is it wrong to buy the soundtrack without seeing the movie?

Is it wrong to think about undie-wettingly hot sex when you're in the middle of Mass?

Is it wrong to stay in bed all day?

Is it wrong to have a shower and put your pjs BACK ON?

Is it wrong to eat pavlova for breakfast (for two days straight)?

Is it wrong to say no to all your friends just because you're "not up for it"?

Is it wrong to try to get through Christmas by drinking as much wine as possible without (hopefully) appearing like a lush?

Is it wrong to be all happy because it's raining on Christmas day and "not like summer at all"?

Is it wrong to have a conversation with someone and rather than concentrating on what they're saying be thinking I'm wearing pink polka dot french knickers with a black lacy trim and I bet you're not, neh neh?

mmmmm?

Labels: questions, random

posted by M at 9:00 pm 38 comments

* Last night while fiddling with the ipod and the computer I somehow managed to delete the whole of iTunes and my thousands of songs with it. Only I, oh great repellent of all things technological would be able to do that without actually knowing what I did wrong. I'm absolutely devastated about it - that's all. I am well and truly ready for 2006 to be over.

* The other day I pampered myself with a facial at the spa. After the girl left I swung myself off the bed and fell promptly on my face on to hardwood polished floorboards. I just lay there stunned for a second wondering how on earth I lost my footing over something I've been doing every day for my whole life. Getting out of bed is certainly a no brainer, right? I gracefully (ha!) pulled my towel back up around me and tried to get up but my legs fell under me another time and I found myself kissing the floor again. The girl came rushing in to find me on the floor looking flustered and confused (and okay, I was also laughing my head off) and trying not to flash her my boobs (unsuccessful). After a few minutes I was able to get up and make my way to the counter on wobbly feeling legs. I have no idea what happened, but it was a bit scary. I hope I'm not dying, (I haven't even married Clive Owen yet!). I don't want to think about it - but my knee still hurts.

* I got a lovely card and chrissie present from a student today. I didn't even know art teachers got presents! I don't think the last one did. It was a thermal coffee mug (but not a bogan one - a nice one!). I am famous for having about 7 running cups of coffee going in the Art Room - the coffee always gets cold before I have a chance to finish drinking it all so, I just go get myself a new one without returning the old one. After a while the staffroom runs out and I have to get my little minions (I mean students) to run my cups to the staffroom with strict instructions not to tell anyone from where the cups came. Anyway, cool present. Someone has obviously been paying attention in class. heh.

* One of my favourite parents from the school stopped me as I was walking across the quadrangle to tell me how she was remembering all the lovely things about me teaching her son when he was in grade 2! We had a nice time reminiscing for a while before her son came up to join us. He's one of those kids that when I look at him I see what he's going to be like as a man. A heart of gold, a giving person, a bit cheaky and a good friend to people who aren't even in his social circle! If you know any 10ish year old girls, boy do I have a set up for you 10 years from now. This kid is a CATCH, get in early!

* I'm really trying to get over the melancholy by watching silly movies and listening to happy songs on the ipod (sob). Yesterday Austin Powers but today I will not stray to Trust nope...no...will not go there, can't do that to myself...oh bugger it!

Labels: random, school, the mean reds

posted by M at 7:07 pm 31 comments

The good thing about being off sick from work is being in your pajamas all day long and not feeling guilty about it - not even one bit. Okay, it is true that I pretty much spend all my holidays in my pajamas and not feeling guilty at all (if is there any outfit that is better than yer pjs then I wanna hear about it) but, it's nice to have an excuse anyway.

I knew I was sick because half was through my lessons on Tuesday I thought, fuck me if I talk, I'll throw up all over the kids. So I stopped talking and at the end of the lesson when little miss wanna be teacher's pet came up to tell me that we didn't get all the sewing needles* back I didn't care. She could have come up to me and told me that there was a kid EATING needles and I wouldn't have cared. I was so nauseous I couldn't see straight. Luckily at that moment the Italian teacher walked past like a knight in shining armour (except he was in shorts, t-shirt and long socks - whyyy?) and I explained my predicament while holding my hands over my mouth and running for the loo (on the other side of the school, of course). I can't think of a job where it is more of a pain in the arse to be sick at than teaching (okay, maybe if you were fighting in a war and you couldn't stop sneezing while you were on a stakeout then it'd be a bit stressful - does one go on stakeouts during the war? I have no idea).

Since then I have been making good friends with the toilet seat and crap TV. Yay me. Still, being sick is actually more fun than teaching the grade 5/6s sorry to say.

Things I have been doing while sick

* Watching my DVD of The Henderson Kids, which was my all time favourite show (after Neighbours and Family Ties and maybe Charles in Charge, err..also Growing Pains..okay I was a total TV whore) in the 80s.

* Finally finished watching Weeds (oh no, I'm going to have to cross Martin Donovan off my TV boyfriend's list. He turned out mean :( boo). And starting on Heroes (perhaps am still a TV whore).

* Sleeping

* On the email to friends who are at work Soooo, whatcha doing?

* reading blogs, why don't you guys update more often? Geez!!!!!

* Feeling guilty about reading blogs all day and getting irrationally angry because they are not updated enough.

* Listening to the Ipod (Everybody was Kung Foo Fighting, deedeedeedeedoodoodededoo).

* Thinking I'm well enough for ice-cream and then finding out I'm not.

* Two hours later: Maybe I'm okay for ice-cream now ...Nope, I'm not.

* Playing the "if I won a million dollars on the tattslotto what would I buy?" game.

* Doing that thing where I look at something in the room and close one eye and switch eyes. Camera one, camera two, camera one, camera two.

* contemplating disappearing from existence by taking a holiday in December/Jan. Somewhere not hot. ugh.

Aaaand that's about it really. As you can see I lead a very full and exciting life.



*Incidentally I almost failed sewing when I was in school. I can't sew for SHIT and now I'm teaching others to sew! Actually now that I think of it, some of the kids in the grade were better than me at it!

Labels: random, wonderings

posted by M at 12:10 pm 26 comments