[Miscellany]

There is a term for people in my situation.
That is, souls who just can't figure out why they can't figure it out. Thus, to try to eleviate the status quo and find something worth blogging for (or living, I don't know) I'm... here I go... coming out of the closet.. I'm ..."in treatment".

What I'm "in treatment" for hasn't been given a name. Am I depressed? Nuts? Weird? Psychotic? Too thoughtful? Ridiculous? Yes, probably and I don't know. I've got to tell you, 11 year old me (whom I consult with quite a bit) wouldn't have believed you if you told her she'd be in treatment in 2011. Of course, 11 year old me would have thought 32 year old me would be living on the moon (true, I wrote an essay on it) instead of in an inner city suburb in Melbs but anyway.. I digress.

My err... what do we call her: My voice of reason (MVOR)? is a poised, thoughtful, intelligent, kind and insightful person who will interrupt my diatribes with highly reasonable examples of why I shouldn't be so hard on myself. I wish I was more like her, but I'm not. I'm the messy person who comes in with an overcooked imagination and disorganised handbag that spills everywhere, often in a bad mood from work and who sits on the couch and blabs, blabs, blabs in a way that is most unattrative and I'm sure highly yawnful.

I'm the opposite of what I want to be.
And what do I want to be?

...just normal... everyday...
simple really.
Not quite sure how many people actually achieve this so called simple stuff, but I'll give it a go.

Time to give someone else my kite string to anchor me for a while.
I've realised it's rather impossible to be the one holding it and flying at the same time.
You just get lost.

Labels: Crazy Nutters, in treatment, MVOR, nuts, talking cure, weird little happenings, weird things

posted by M at 7:20 pm 6 comments

* I'm pretty much doubting the sincerity of 80% of my friendships.

* I don't know whether I'm leadership material, and even if I am - I don't especially like it.

* I've read enough about football culture in the last month to know that I never, ever want any child of mine to be a part of it.

* It's unfair that the moment "they" announced they weren't closing schools down that had swine flu cases that my school got it's first swine. Oink, oink indeed.

* I wouldn't go so far as to call myself a Lilly Allen fan but I've had her version of Brittany Spears' Womanizer on repeat for about a week now. It's awesome.

* Three words: Robert Pattinson, HOT. Not exactly the most eloquent way to put it but it's simply true. I only feel slightly ashamed as am old enough to be his grandmother.

* I live a life of complete compliance with the system. I get up, work hard, suffer incredible guilt for not being able to offer more, and pretty much have that on repeat day in day out. Every single year it feels even more wrong. It's difficult for me to accept that I've kept at it this long and yet, show no signs of ending my association with this thing called "the daily grind".

* I spend too much time with the heater on and me sitting in front of it. For a girl who could never seem to get cool enough I've suddenly got a body core temperature of about -10. I wore socks to bed for the first time in about 15 years the other night. I'm either in my early 30s or early 60s, you decide.

* Nutella is man's greatest invention. Yes, this is above sliced bread. Bless Ferrero for trying to pass it off as a healthy nut spread. I wish I could bring as much creativity to my everyday life <3

* ...did I mention the doubting friendships bit?

Labels: nuts, random

posted by M at 10:57 pm 15 comments