[Miscellany]
Sunday, August 11, 2013
Rambling Crazy Lady Post
It's been a funny old contemplative weekend. I caught up with an old friend on Friday night. K is resplendent in the later stages of her pregnancy and I am torn with being so happy for her and with noticing my own utter lack in this department. Soon I will be the only one in that particular friendship group sans child. This is not exactly a welcome concept, mostly due to the fact that our conversations already revolve around poop and children and never around those philosophical and political arguments that we used to have and I wonder how much more baby centered they can become. It scares me for the state of our friendship, how much longer can I sustain not ever being asked how I am? Maybe soon I'll be able to slip away in the middle of a conversation and steal into the gin cupboard and no one will even notice. Even the crazy little voice inside my head is now telling me I need new friends that are at the same stage in life as I am that is (spinsters and lunatics).
K and I were still able to have a rational conversation on the account of the child still being in utero so we made the most of it by me moaning about my job and her looking at me pityingly and K discussing her fears about giving birth and me (unwisely) advising her to take all the drugs available (preferably at once). The birth thing sounds rather hard, scary and horrible but I can't pity it. It's a beautiful miracle and she is so fortunate to have the love in her life that has afforded this experience for her. I am trying to think of the fortunate things in my life. I keep coming up with 'at least I'm not homeless' or 'I never have to compromise over the remote control', which is absolutely true but also kind of sad if that is the best I can do.
EM whom I had dinner with last night is in my predicament but she has made peace with her childless, spinster state. I don't even know how you would begin to do that. I'm the opposite. Case in point - this is the photo I'm staring at right now as I type this. It lives on the wall of my study.
It's beautiful, no? It's a vision of (my) stupid, ridiculous hope and although I love looking at it I hate that I harbor these hopes still. It only makes it harder to move on with my life.
Despite that difference between EM and I, we are of one mind when it comes to the plight of the single lady in her 30s. I like having friends who completely understand what it is like not to want to go to weddings alone and lament on the unfairness of always giving the gift but never being the recipient of any. Also this:
Anyway we are now living in post-feminist glory (apparently) and a woman needs a man like a fish needs a bicycle (or so I've heard) but my God, when will the wilderness years be over? I don't give a shit about being independent or see taking the garbage out as a 'win' in the division of labour. I don't see being single as freeing at all. In fact I think you are more restricted as a single person. I can't quit my job and 'find myself'. Who exactly is going to pay the mortgage when I do that? If I get sick, there is a series of complicated measures I have to go through in order to get through it. There's no depending on someone to pick up the slack when things go wrong. I am not so much fearing being eaten by Alsatians as I am planning it now.
As for breeding. I can almost literally hear the tick-tocking of that old biological clock ringing in my ears and I realise that this is it. Halle Berry may be able to get away with having a baby in her late 40s but I won't be able to. It's now or never and this scares me because... well now is ...NOW. I have thought about this a bit and I have my own set of morals here about the subject but is it selfish to 'go it alone?' I'm not counting it out completely, but let's just say I'm not making any appointments to the clinic either...
I'm not even sure what the point of this entry is. I was going to write about the beauty in the passage of time as symbolised in seeing Before Midnight with K but um... I guess not. Sorry about that.
K and I were still able to have a rational conversation on the account of the child still being in utero so we made the most of it by me moaning about my job and her looking at me pityingly and K discussing her fears about giving birth and me (unwisely) advising her to take all the drugs available (preferably at once). The birth thing sounds rather hard, scary and horrible but I can't pity it. It's a beautiful miracle and she is so fortunate to have the love in her life that has afforded this experience for her. I am trying to think of the fortunate things in my life. I keep coming up with 'at least I'm not homeless' or 'I never have to compromise over the remote control', which is absolutely true but also kind of sad if that is the best I can do.
EM whom I had dinner with last night is in my predicament but she has made peace with her childless, spinster state. I don't even know how you would begin to do that. I'm the opposite. Case in point - this is the photo I'm staring at right now as I type this. It lives on the wall of my study.
It's beautiful, no? It's a vision of (my) stupid, ridiculous hope and although I love looking at it I hate that I harbor these hopes still. It only makes it harder to move on with my life.
Despite that difference between EM and I, we are of one mind when it comes to the plight of the single lady in her 30s. I like having friends who completely understand what it is like not to want to go to weddings alone and lament on the unfairness of always giving the gift but never being the recipient of any. Also this:
Anyway we are now living in post-feminist glory (apparently) and a woman needs a man like a fish needs a bicycle (or so I've heard) but my God, when will the wilderness years be over? I don't give a shit about being independent or see taking the garbage out as a 'win' in the division of labour. I don't see being single as freeing at all. In fact I think you are more restricted as a single person. I can't quit my job and 'find myself'. Who exactly is going to pay the mortgage when I do that? If I get sick, there is a series of complicated measures I have to go through in order to get through it. There's no depending on someone to pick up the slack when things go wrong. I am not so much fearing being eaten by Alsatians as I am planning it now.
As for breeding. I can almost literally hear the tick-tocking of that old biological clock ringing in my ears and I realise that this is it. Halle Berry may be able to get away with having a baby in her late 40s but I won't be able to. It's now or never and this scares me because... well now is ...NOW. I have thought about this a bit and I have my own set of morals here about the subject but is it selfish to 'go it alone?' I'm not counting it out completely, but let's just say I'm not making any appointments to the clinic either...
I'm not even sure what the point of this entry is. I was going to write about the beauty in the passage of time as symbolised in seeing Before Midnight with K but um... I guess not. Sorry about that.
Labels: babies, dirty femmo, friends, girls and women, messy women, rant, singletons, there is no life after babies for the mothers in the equation but maybe they don't mind so much anyway, what women want, women
Saturday, July 19, 2008
Brothers and Sistas.
Oh dear, so it seems that even the Reality Tele Gods could not save Big Brother Oz and the show has been axed! God knows what I'm going to do to occupy my time for three months out of every year from now on. Perhaps I will have to get a life or something. In its heyday it was an excellent show. Well, I loved it anyway. In recent years even *I* have to admit that the show has been rather abysmal (though I always manage to get a few blog posts out of it).
It's a bit of a weird reaction but I'm angry at the producers for not being able to get it right and keep it on the air. It's a bloody simple show: Put people in the house: watch the people in the house. It's not rocket science! The producers forgot the cardinal rule and that is - don't patronise your audience. By marketing to the tweens they assumed that they could get away with anything; including housemates that were rather plastic in look and personality. This effectively lost them viewers who actually cared about watching real-ish people in the house (because who wants to watch plastics?) and they were left with the tweens who are fickle and who lose interest quickly (and they did, of course).
Arguably the best part of Big Brother this year has been the show Big Mouth, which is a weekly talk show that had a panel of ex-housemates talking about the show. Simple concept + good panelists + time slot where they could talk about anything = great show. Meanwhile the house itself was suffering under over-production + too many gimmicks + housemates that are too young and dumb = craaaaap.
I'm really gonna miss bitching about all those housemates :(
In other news I went out for dinner the other night with #1 and F. It is the first time in literally TWO YEARS that we have been in the same room together without the children.
(from wiki)
Two years ago Italy won the World Cup.
Two years ago Mel Gibson was pulled up for drink driving and then let loose in an anti-semitic diatribe and called a lady-cop "sugar tits".
Two years ago Google bought You Tube
Two years ago Windows Vista was released
Two years ago the Turkey Slap incident happened on Big Brother.
Two years ago Crash won best film at the Oscars.
Two years ago Slobodan Milošević is found dead in his cell.
Two years ago cavemen invented the wheel.
I mean it was a long time ago folks.
....we talked about babies the whole time. I mean THE. WHOLE. TIME.
Seriously, is it time to just say goodbye to friendships like these? I don't even know what to say when I talk to them next... thanks for asking me about my life, I really appreciate it? What happens now?
It's a bit of a weird reaction but I'm angry at the producers for not being able to get it right and keep it on the air. It's a bloody simple show: Put people in the house: watch the people in the house. It's not rocket science! The producers forgot the cardinal rule and that is - don't patronise your audience. By marketing to the tweens they assumed that they could get away with anything; including housemates that were rather plastic in look and personality. This effectively lost them viewers who actually cared about watching real-ish people in the house (because who wants to watch plastics?) and they were left with the tweens who are fickle and who lose interest quickly (and they did, of course).
Arguably the best part of Big Brother this year has been the show Big Mouth, which is a weekly talk show that had a panel of ex-housemates talking about the show. Simple concept + good panelists + time slot where they could talk about anything = great show. Meanwhile the house itself was suffering under over-production + too many gimmicks + housemates that are too young and dumb = craaaaap.
I'm really gonna miss bitching about all those housemates :(
In other news I went out for dinner the other night with #1 and F. It is the first time in literally TWO YEARS that we have been in the same room together without the children.
(from wiki)
Two years ago Italy won the World Cup.
Two years ago Mel Gibson was pulled up for drink driving and then let loose in an anti-semitic diatribe and called a lady-cop "sugar tits".
Two years ago Google bought You Tube
Two years ago Windows Vista was released
Two years ago the Turkey Slap incident happened on Big Brother.
Two years ago Crash won best film at the Oscars.
Two years ago Slobodan Milošević is found dead in his cell.
Two years ago cavemen invented the wheel.
I mean it was a long time ago folks.
....we talked about babies the whole time. I mean THE. WHOLE. TIME.
Seriously, is it time to just say goodbye to friendships like these? I don't even know what to say when I talk to them next... thanks for asking me about my life, I really appreciate it? What happens now?
Labels: babies, big brother, crap reality tele, friends, there is no life after babies for the mothers in the equation but maybe they don't mind so much anyway
Tuesday, July 08, 2008
Triplets
* Why do people hate people with red hair so much? I'm afraid that reddy boys get the worst end of the stick for some reason. Every single preggo chick I've known has at some point expressed a wish for it 'not to be a ranga'. I've even heard 'shall drown it if it is' (which made me laugh, sorry). I don't really see what all the fuss is about as I am a card carrying member of the Eric Stolz fan club (and have gone down that road myself via a dye bottle or two) however I have been assured that giving birth to a red one is something worth worrying about. Hell, my friend E discovered that her beloved has a bit of red in the beard and is now worried that all her anti-red tirades will come back to haunt her through her future children who she claims will be doomed to red hair and freckles - all coming from a gene that is about as far away from her own family as you can imagine. L (the husband) gets it every now and again in the form of anti-red/you have a defective gene emotional outbursts.What is it about carrot top boys that entice ridicule, anger, distaste, fear and loathing? Why is it okay to have a ginger minge if you're a girl but not if you're a boy?
* Was bored and so I got into the car and drove the Eastlink the other day (what an exciting life I lead, I hear you think!). Now the Eastlink is this newly opened stretch of freeway that "links up" Melbourne's outer Eastern suburbs with roads leading directly into the city. It's a tollway and since it just opened we get a free trial. The road itself is okay. It's a visually textured stretch of road - which means that there's a lot of different "stuff" to look at a long the way. There's about a million pieces of sculpture and lots of brightly coloured barricades to stare at (of course this is just highly annoying if you're the one doing the driving). Having said all that I'm left with the feeling that while the road is fine to drive on I wonder whether all those stops along the new freeway are really places best left unlinked instead. Have we opened portals to other dimensions we really shouldn't have? I got to the end and realised I didn't really want to be there. Maybe it (only?) works better when you're heading into the city?Has anyone driven it? What did you think of the artwork? Did "hotel" do it for you?
*I'm getting right into Big Brother UK at the moment (In all fairness I've given up on ours and only watch Big Mouth now). I don't know exactly what it is about their BB that I like so much but I think it has something to do with the fact that they actually DO have a variety of ages in there (rather than one old tart and everyone else barely out of the womb like we do) and their Big Brother is less about "twists" and more about laying the foundations for more real interactions than we have. Interestingly I'm finding that while we as a whole (audience and housemates) are more polite (not including Brigitte) than the Brits (they actually boo their housemates!) us Aussies fail big time in two important areas: our attitude towards race and women (and yes, if you're suddenly thinking but the Brits aren't so great at those things either then you're actually getting my point!).I've written and re-written this paragraph about a million times and yet it never seems to come out right so I'll just say this. The "bloke-speak" in the Australian version of BB is out of control BAD - both in verbalisation but also the general attitude too. A couple of years ago I wrote this and I have to say my thoughts on the matter haven't changed one bit even though no actual "turkey slapping" has been going on in the Oz house this year.
Labels: art, babies, big brother, blokes, crap reality tele, dirty femmo, gender stuff, questions, ranga, TV, wonderings
Tuesday, April 22, 2008
Australia's Next Top Ana
* Today I was doing a writing activity with a few children in my grade. We were looking at a photo of a girl with her dog and using that as a jumping off point to discuss pets. One boy in the group said that he wasn't allowed to have a dog. I asked why and he said that his grandpa said no to the whole thing "because dogs don't live as long as humans". I thought it was a beautiful example of the different ways in which people think. It was just so logical and true. I'm not saying it was fair or right but just that it was so true. You could tell that the other children in this group had never heard that kind of reasoning before. They only saw that their dog would lick them and play with them.
I guess one can look at things in two ways - the immediate and the long term. Some people plan ahead and that might give them better stead in some areas but hold them back in other areas. Others will always live for now, which is exciting but doesn't always take you where you want to go.
In other news, Grandpa always makes this child come in at the end of every day and bow to me - which I think is both hilarious and disturbing. I adore this child to no end. He's just the BEST kid, but if he keeps on bowing I have a feeling that he's going to come back one day as an adult and kill me dead.
* The other day I had a conversation about childbirth that had a twist - it was all about the husband. In one story - during childbirth, the father was so traumatised by the whole act that he could do nothing more than stand in the corner rigidly, rather like a human lamp post - not saying anything, not looking at anything, not hearing anything. The midwife went ballistic on him and started screaming "You go pet your wife! PET HER! YOU SAY SOMETHING NICE TO YOUR WIFE, SHE'S GIVING BIRTH!" He wouldn't move for the whole labour, and only "came to" after the child was born. It happens every time apparently. Not quite sure why you'd make the man go through it again and again if he was going to be like that.
I have heard of men whom, after witnessing the birth of their child are NOT in a hurry to go through it again. I guess the lack of control you have in the whole situation would be incredibly stressful. Men don't have the benefit of that hormone that supposedly takes away the "evil memories" as it happens for the mother. I still doubt an existence of such a hormone. How can someone forget the pain of something so unnatural and horrific? Then again, most of us do go back to go through it countless times so maybe there is something in it.
* I don't watch a lot of television but I admit what I do watch is the gutter trash of the televisual realm. I love trashy TV - it's not even a guilty pleasure. It's just a pleasure. So as you can probably guess tonight I was glued to the tele for premiere of the new season of Australia's Next Top Model. I'm a sucker for this shit. I'm already in love with the geeky girl Belinda who can hardly stand up without toppling over, or bumping into something. She's quirky and not bitchy in the least. Every other girl has "bitch" tattooed over their face of course. Is it just that they edit these shows to be like this, or is it that the more beautiful a woman is the bitchier she is, by nurture? Is it because they don't *have* to be nice - and they will still get what they want, regardless of personality that makes them bitchier? There is no question that all the girls on the show are stunning - the two that are quirky/clever are less bitchy than the rest however. If beauty makes a girl bitchy, does being beautiful make a man bitchy too? Or is it that having money makes a man bitchy instead? What is the line that men and women must cross before they become bitchy?** I know a girl who was a model (oh lord, STUNNING!) but she's the nicest girl that ever lived. Of course, she's also incredibly clever and driven in her chosen career so she fits into that "other" category of a girl who has something else to her. She's given up on modeling now though and will never go back, she hated the bitchiness inherent in the field and would be the first person to confirm about beauty = bitchiness. What makes people bitchy?
* Speaking of ANTM, I know that it's customary for models to be anorexic however does anyone else find it disturbing to hear the judges tell waifs that they still have to lose weight? I understand that this is just how the industry is, but since I have the televisual habits of a 15 year old girl I also know that if I'm watching Top Model then of course there are bazillions of other teens watching it too. Call me crazy but the last thing impressionable teens need is yet another public forum telling them that they are too fat. The Biggest Loser people need to lose weight. Models, not so much. Why can't they starve themselves behind closed toilet doors instead like we all expect them to instead of being 6 foot tall and weighing 45 kilos and STILL being though of as too fat out in the open for us all to hear? Our society has an obsession with weight! We're completely consumed by it. Fat people are too fat. Skinny people are too fat. People in the normal range are too fat. No one is ever just perfect the way they are. It's crazy.
** yeah, yeah I understand that not all beautiful men or women are bitchy and yes I understand that not all men or women with money are bitchy either. As always, I'm talking *many* not *all*.
I guess one can look at things in two ways - the immediate and the long term. Some people plan ahead and that might give them better stead in some areas but hold them back in other areas. Others will always live for now, which is exciting but doesn't always take you where you want to go.
In other news, Grandpa always makes this child come in at the end of every day and bow to me - which I think is both hilarious and disturbing. I adore this child to no end. He's just the BEST kid, but if he keeps on bowing I have a feeling that he's going to come back one day as an adult and kill me dead.
* The other day I had a conversation about childbirth that had a twist - it was all about the husband. In one story - during childbirth, the father was so traumatised by the whole act that he could do nothing more than stand in the corner rigidly, rather like a human lamp post - not saying anything, not looking at anything, not hearing anything. The midwife went ballistic on him and started screaming "You go pet your wife! PET HER! YOU SAY SOMETHING NICE TO YOUR WIFE, SHE'S GIVING BIRTH!" He wouldn't move for the whole labour, and only "came to" after the child was born. It happens every time apparently. Not quite sure why you'd make the man go through it again and again if he was going to be like that.
I have heard of men whom, after witnessing the birth of their child are NOT in a hurry to go through it again. I guess the lack of control you have in the whole situation would be incredibly stressful. Men don't have the benefit of that hormone that supposedly takes away the "evil memories" as it happens for the mother. I still doubt an existence of such a hormone. How can someone forget the pain of something so unnatural and horrific? Then again, most of us do go back to go through it countless times so maybe there is something in it.
* I don't watch a lot of television but I admit what I do watch is the gutter trash of the televisual realm. I love trashy TV - it's not even a guilty pleasure. It's just a pleasure. So as you can probably guess tonight I was glued to the tele for premiere of the new season of Australia's Next Top Model. I'm a sucker for this shit. I'm already in love with the geeky girl Belinda who can hardly stand up without toppling over, or bumping into something. She's quirky and not bitchy in the least. Every other girl has "bitch" tattooed over their face of course. Is it just that they edit these shows to be like this, or is it that the more beautiful a woman is the bitchier she is, by nurture? Is it because they don't *have* to be nice - and they will still get what they want, regardless of personality that makes them bitchier? There is no question that all the girls on the show are stunning - the two that are quirky/clever are less bitchy than the rest however. If beauty makes a girl bitchy, does being beautiful make a man bitchy too? Or is it that having money makes a man bitchy instead? What is the line that men and women must cross before they become bitchy?** I know a girl who was a model (oh lord, STUNNING!) but she's the nicest girl that ever lived. Of course, she's also incredibly clever and driven in her chosen career so she fits into that "other" category of a girl who has something else to her. She's given up on modeling now though and will never go back, she hated the bitchiness inherent in the field and would be the first person to confirm about beauty = bitchiness. What makes people bitchy?
* Speaking of ANTM, I know that it's customary for models to be anorexic however does anyone else find it disturbing to hear the judges tell waifs that they still have to lose weight? I understand that this is just how the industry is, but since I have the televisual habits of a 15 year old girl I also know that if I'm watching Top Model then of course there are bazillions of other teens watching it too. Call me crazy but the last thing impressionable teens need is yet another public forum telling them that they are too fat. The Biggest Loser people need to lose weight. Models, not so much. Why can't they starve themselves behind closed toilet doors instead like we all expect them to instead of being 6 foot tall and weighing 45 kilos and STILL being though of as too fat out in the open for us all to hear? Our society has an obsession with weight! We're completely consumed by it. Fat people are too fat. Skinny people are too fat. People in the normal range are too fat. No one is ever just perfect the way they are. It's crazy.
** yeah, yeah I understand that not all beautiful men or women are bitchy and yes I understand that not all men or women with money are bitchy either. As always, I'm talking *many* not *all*.
Labels: babies, crap reality tele, models, teaching, teaching the teacher, TV, weight
Thursday, March 27, 2008
buh-buh-buh-buh baby!
When I heard about Thomas Beatie, the transgendered man who is now pregnant, I didn't really even bat an eyelid. Well, maybe one eyelid..but it was only for a second. I probably have more of a problem with the traditional nuclear family than I do with gays, straights, transgendered people or even men giving birth. Why? Well, I figure that if you're about to go through hell or high water like that - with your every move under scrutiny - in order to have a baby, then that means you are really going to want one. People who really want babies are probably not going to end up mistreating them or using them in order to manipulate their partners. This is more than I can say for the love 'em and leave 'em scenario that seems to happen in too many so called traditional families. In any case - this Beatie baby (if it's even true) will be born into a nuclear family anyway - (mum and dad), so neh.Out of all the hoopla surrounding the issue it was really this quote from Thomas Beatie that made me stop and think
“Wanting to have a biological child is neither a male nor female desire but a human desire.”
And I realised that no one ever really talks about children as something that men desire. Sure you hear about men who 'one day want a family' etc but I'm not talking about in these general terms - I mean the real deal; the desperate urge to have one NOW. Women (of a certain age) are consistently made fun of for having a biological clock or for being what we call "clucky" - really wanting a child. Since procreating is ..well the ONLY way of keeping our species alive and thriving you'd think it'd be a female AND male urge to want children, and I'm pretty sure it is* but it's rarely discussed in such terms. It's usually discussed more in terms of women desperately wanting a baby and trapping the poor husband/guy into being a father. It's seen as something that happens *to them* rather than something they desperately desire.
I'd like to think it IS something they desire as much as we do but I have to admit I know a lot of girls who really want babies, but not so many men who do. Maybe the guys just don't talk about it all that much. Maybe it's a big myth created by the media..to perpetuate an image of the sturdy bloke who is tough and strong and without desires that tie him down. I don't know. If this is the case, surely it's as damaging to men as much as it is to women.
Why do you think that men are not ever thought of as "clucky"? Do they have a biological clock and if so just how loudly does it tick? If the option was available would they want to "go it alone" like women sometimes do? Do you know men who are clucky (I mean who really talk about wishing they had a baby and wanting to find a girl and have one, not in some distant future but NOW, right NOW)? If you are a guy, are you clucky now, or have you ever been?
* I realise not all men or WOMEN want babies.
Labels: babies, blokes, men, pressure, questions, what men want, what women want, women, wonderings
Sunday, February 24, 2008
Babies and femmos.
Being a non-babied up person living in a world where it seems like everyone has spawned has afforded me the opportunity to observe things without being too emotionally involved. I have my pet peeves with how mums and dads behave just like I have my pet peeves by how ordinary everyday people behave. In fact, one might argue that I have a lot of pet peeves. Oh well, I'm peevey - you really got a problem with that?
A little issue has arisen lately in baby-land and I have to say, it's given me more peeves than ever thought possible. I'm talking about how people react to the weight of babies. Now I realise that weight is probably the most important way that one can distinguish how healthy a baby is but I'm not talking about that. It's the language that people use.
My friend S's little miracle (really, he actually is - spend first couple of months at the Children's hospital and really was touch and go for a while there) has been growing in leaps and bounds since he was released from the hospital. Really he is one of the cutest babies in the world. He's one of those babies that strangers will boldly approach and want to hold. Things started off a little rough for the poor guy but now he's doing well. In fact when people see him how they ALWAYS comment about what a big boy he is, and how chubby he is getting and ...hey maybe mum should be putting him on a little feeding restriction. The thing is little N is not like those big babies you see on Phil Donohue where the baby is actually half the size of mum at 1 year of age and looks basically like an adult in diapers (though, I might be confusing this with a whoooole other episode of Donohue). Little N is in fact precisely in the 50th percentile for his weight. He's the epitome of normality. He's not 1 percent below or above he's just right. Meanwhile mothers of babies born on the 15th percentile are commenting about what a chubbster N is - not in a nice way either - in an I'm slightly worried about your baby way - patronising, utterly patronising. Like as if being born thin and still thin is somehow better than than being normal and healthy.
The reason why it's a peeve of mine is that I can see where this is leading. We already have this preoccupation with children's weight and the so-called obesity crisis in children. I wish I could link to an entry that "pubby" wrote about this issue but he's taken his blog offline - but he also asked whether these figures were sincere because he hadn't noticed that suddenly all these kids were supposedly fat. I work with kids. I see kids everyday and there is probably 1 per class who is overweight. IF THAT. I don't have any this year at all. In fact I'm looking at all the children I know who started school this year and there is not ONE who would even be considered chubby - that's almost 100 new children! Figures point to something like 40% of children being fat but from what I've seen it's actually about 5% which is called a NORMAL DISTRIBUTION of fat folks. Maybe it's 10% in some areas...yes, more concerning but still, hardly an epidemic! I don't know if figures are being inflated or whether the way we measure fat is right off the scale (pun intended) but if it's an epidemic then I don't bloody see it at all.
The point is the weight obsession starts with babies. All these mothers (let's face it, mostly mums) are obsessed with talking about the weight of their own children but not only that, I sense some smugness and defensiveness about weight, depending on where on the percentile the baby falls. Once I commented on how F's baby J had grown into a big boy. I hadn't seen him in about 3 months and he was like a new child. So what, he got big! Big deal, it's great, it's called growing. But I got flicked with the end of the wrath stick quick smart by F who snapped that actually he's only on the 30th percentile now and not big at all. Ohhhhh kay, sorry didn't think I was suggesting that your baby was a sumo wrestler but hey, whatever.
Incidentally why is it so wrong to say that a female baby is a "big strong girl". Ever try saying that one? It's like you're saying "hey I've just noticed that your daughter is a big fat dyke. I can see that she's a breath away from letting her body hair get to unflattering lengths and start listening to angry girl rock" I thought, growing was supposed to be a good thing! Maybe not in girls.
In other news concerning dirty femmo stuff, I was intrigued by a column in Sunday's Age by Angela Pippos "What's Wrong with Being a Fashionista Feminist Anyway?" where she addresses just how diverse feminists are in this era. She also says
She goes on to list a few examples of questioning she is immediately dealt by affronted men "Do you expect men to open doors for you?" "Do you want a man to pay for dinner on a first date?" etc. You know the typical questions asked of femnos that makes everyone want to stab their eyes out. What really interests me about her column is the underlying question for me about feminism. Why is it still a dirty word? Yes, I'm being serious. In all my years of being a feminist I've never met one who hates men. I've never met one who burns her bra. I've never met one who spends all night planing to picket the local men's club or any of the other stereotypes that are prescribed to so called ..here is comes "feminazis". Do I know lesbian femmos? Of course. Does that mean ALL feminists are gay? Do I know femmos who are frustrated by the status quo and frustrated by some perceptions perpetrated by men. Hell yes, does that mean that they are frustrated with men in general? Pssssh, I don't think so. I hate that type of generalising of feminists that happens but actually has little grounds in reality.
I don't know about you but when I hear the old "you're a man hater" (often comes in a feminist type entry) and it's been written here on this journal as well me reading it on so many other feminist blogs that I've lost count - I often think that the person writing it either has shit for brains, doesn't actually KNOW any feminists or rather...doesn't KNOW any women AT ALL or that maybe..just maybe THEY don't really like women all that much themselves, or feel threatened by them expressing an opinion - whatever. The fact that I *am* a feminist and I don't actually know ANY feminists who hate men NOR do I hate them myself sort of makes me wonder why on earth that's a phrase that is so easily thrown around by others when confronted with someone who claims to be a feminist? I mean I always hear about these so-called feminists who are supposed to hate men, usually it comes in the form of "yeah I know a feminist who hates men" but you know..it's sort of like an urban myth to me. Have you heard the one about the lady with the boil on her face that exploded and 50 tiny spiders came out? Yeah, that common. If anything feminists have so much problem in appearing a unified group with unifying beliefs in the first place that *men* aren't even the issue. It's women and what women think that is more of an issue.
Perhaps it's that feminist discourse is centered around the fact that things are not quite right in the world of woman. That there are certain issues that affect our gender and those issues maybe be life threatening or indeed socially confining to women. Maybe there's some resentment too, that women get the focus for this type of discourse? The fact that they are discussed might be a little too confronting for some people and confused with hate - when really it's not about hate at all, it's about getting answers and asking WHY does this happen to women? Is that a wrong question to ask? I certainly don't think so. It does NOT negate the FACT that things happen to men too and that is an important point. That in fact we are all individuals who have shit happen to us at some stage or another and that there are issues for men that are just as concerning that in fact SHOULD be discussed too. They should be discussed by the same people that are complaining that are sick of hearing about women's issues and say that yeah, men have issues too can't you see that? Well, dude, discuss away! Indeed, asking why the world is a certain way is not about hating anyone. It's about trying to get answers about how things are and perhaps start discourse that will affect change. One can only hope anyway.
I know that discussions about rape, prostitution, maternity leave and domestic violence gets a lot of backs up, especially with men but the fact of the matter is that these things DO happen and they DO happen mostly to women and the fact that we make up more than half the population means that it's something that everyone should be worried about. These are things that SHOULD be discussed widely and without refrain. It happens and the fact that it happens disturbingly often to one gender over another is a cause for feminist discourse. Live with it! I've read so many "anti-feminist" blogs (mostly written by anonymous people with anonymous comments - just goes to show doesn't it?) that will reference one article where a woman has beaten her husband in a show of domestic violence. Yes it happens and this is horrible. I don't want to diminish that - but the anti-feminist blogger will then say (and this happens in almost 100 percent of all anti-feminist bloggers) something along the lines of "and now you see why I refuse to get involved with all women. Women are evil etc etc". This is in direct opposition to most feminist blogs which takes issue on women's issues in society and how that affects us and in fact are a celebration of female achievement in the arts and culture. They are positive places that actually reserve any condensation of men to specific examples ie: THIS MAN said something not quite right about women. THIS MAN is wrong. Whereas the anti-feminist blogs that I've read are all about generalising one act to mean *all* women and being defensive about it too. Perhaps I've yet to come across a anti-feminist blog that is about being male positive instead of female negative. I'm know that there are some feminist blogs that really ARE venomous about a lot of things too, including men but definitely not the popular ones. The popular feminist blogs are generally very political places that invite discussion by men and indeed a lot of them have a dedicated male following too.
For the record I have read many male written gender positive blogs that have nothing to do with anti-feminism - they don't shy away from bringing up issues that are specific to men either! They are great and there should be more of them. They write about male and female issues with sex, violence and everything in between and they are so great because they don't fall into that age old trap of 'what I admire about women is their breasts, bum, legs, they look beautiful, they smell beautiful' - which is quite typical in what DOES tend to get written about women from a male perspective. I mean that kind of blog is great and all but male blogs that go beyond that REALLY need to be applauded for being so great - and they're not great because I agree with them, because I don't always, they're great because they are truthful without falling into "all feminists are bitches" type rhetoric.
Considering that not all feminists are the same, nor do any of the old stereotypes stand up why is it that the F-word is still a dirty one?
Anyway, on to Musical Monday in this haphazard post of mine. Of course, let's just complete the entry with a reference to Kat Bjelland; an artist I'm pretty much so in awe of I can't quite figure out the right words. She looks like an angel but has the voice of a terrifying demon. That's the best I can come up with. In the early days she cavorted around with Courtney Love and Jennifer Finch experimenting in a couple of bands before all went their separate ways and all became highly influential artists in their own right, with their own bands. I sigh here as I make the distinction and say they were 'female centered' bands - grrl rock if you will. Why? Oh because I've featured many, many bands who have all male members and sing about manly things but never distinguished them by saying 'all male' or 'male centered'. It's funny how these distinctions work in rock for women as opposed to men but there you have it.
Babes in Toyland had been around for a good many years before I got into them. I was completely taken with Kat Bjelland and in particular her rock operatic meets screaming banshee type singing voice.
She was a cheerleader in high school by the way.
A cheerleader AND a dirty femmo too. Oh my god, is your mind about to explode? Yes, it's true, us dirty femmos aren't just one type of person. I guess, that was my whole point. Mother's can be feminists. Hot girls can be feminists. Women who love men can be feminists. Scientists can be feminists. Radio personalities can be feminists. Men can be feminists. Cheerleaders can be feminists. It's not just one type of person. And for the record I've read many a comment implying that those people mentioned above CAN'T be feminists - like mum's can't be feminists. ha! Well I'm linking right here to a GREAT entry by a femmo mum who outlines some great points about how to raise your daughter a feminist and you know what? The initial question about 'how do I raise my daughter a feminist?' came from a bloke. How's that for breaking down a few barriers. Yes folks, it's not actually about man hating. Sorry to disappoint - on with the music.
Bruise Violet - Babes In Toyland (apparently not about Courtney Love..but I doubt it! lol).
Sweet 69 - Babes in Toyland
A little issue has arisen lately in baby-land and I have to say, it's given me more peeves than ever thought possible. I'm talking about how people react to the weight of babies. Now I realise that weight is probably the most important way that one can distinguish how healthy a baby is but I'm not talking about that. It's the language that people use.
My friend S's little miracle (really, he actually is - spend first couple of months at the Children's hospital and really was touch and go for a while there) has been growing in leaps and bounds since he was released from the hospital. Really he is one of the cutest babies in the world. He's one of those babies that strangers will boldly approach and want to hold. Things started off a little rough for the poor guy but now he's doing well. In fact when people see him how they ALWAYS comment about what a big boy he is, and how chubby he is getting and ...hey maybe mum should be putting him on a little feeding restriction. The thing is little N is not like those big babies you see on Phil Donohue where the baby is actually half the size of mum at 1 year of age and looks basically like an adult in diapers (though, I might be confusing this with a whoooole other episode of Donohue). Little N is in fact precisely in the 50th percentile for his weight. He's the epitome of normality. He's not 1 percent below or above he's just right. Meanwhile mothers of babies born on the 15th percentile are commenting about what a chubbster N is - not in a nice way either - in an I'm slightly worried about your baby way - patronising, utterly patronising. Like as if being born thin and still thin is somehow better than than being normal and healthy.
The reason why it's a peeve of mine is that I can see where this is leading. We already have this preoccupation with children's weight and the so-called obesity crisis in children. I wish I could link to an entry that "pubby" wrote about this issue but he's taken his blog offline - but he also asked whether these figures were sincere because he hadn't noticed that suddenly all these kids were supposedly fat. I work with kids. I see kids everyday and there is probably 1 per class who is overweight. IF THAT. I don't have any this year at all. In fact I'm looking at all the children I know who started school this year and there is not ONE who would even be considered chubby - that's almost 100 new children! Figures point to something like 40% of children being fat but from what I've seen it's actually about 5% which is called a NORMAL DISTRIBUTION of fat folks. Maybe it's 10% in some areas...yes, more concerning but still, hardly an epidemic! I don't know if figures are being inflated or whether the way we measure fat is right off the scale (pun intended) but if it's an epidemic then I don't bloody see it at all.
The point is the weight obsession starts with babies. All these mothers (let's face it, mostly mums) are obsessed with talking about the weight of their own children but not only that, I sense some smugness and defensiveness about weight, depending on where on the percentile the baby falls. Once I commented on how F's baby J had grown into a big boy. I hadn't seen him in about 3 months and he was like a new child. So what, he got big! Big deal, it's great, it's called growing. But I got flicked with the end of the wrath stick quick smart by F who snapped that actually he's only on the 30th percentile now and not big at all. Ohhhhh kay, sorry didn't think I was suggesting that your baby was a sumo wrestler but hey, whatever.
Incidentally why is it so wrong to say that a female baby is a "big strong girl". Ever try saying that one? It's like you're saying "hey I've just noticed that your daughter is a big fat dyke. I can see that she's a breath away from letting her body hair get to unflattering lengths and start listening to angry girl rock" I thought, growing was supposed to be a good thing! Maybe not in girls.
In other news concerning dirty femmo stuff, I was intrigued by a column in Sunday's Age by Angela Pippos "What's Wrong with Being a Fashionista Feminist Anyway?" where she addresses just how diverse feminists are in this era. She also says
I'm a feminist. Was that so hard?
It's really not a big deal. I simply believe that women should be given the same opportunities as men. Throw me in in the river and see if I float. It's hardly radical but, in my experience, any mention of the "f" word in male company can bring on a type of behaviour often seen in a David Attenborough documentary, followed by a sudden attack of mundane questioning".
She goes on to list a few examples of questioning she is immediately dealt by affronted men "Do you expect men to open doors for you?" "Do you want a man to pay for dinner on a first date?" etc. You know the typical questions asked of femnos that makes everyone want to stab their eyes out. What really interests me about her column is the underlying question for me about feminism. Why is it still a dirty word? Yes, I'm being serious. In all my years of being a feminist I've never met one who hates men. I've never met one who burns her bra. I've never met one who spends all night planing to picket the local men's club or any of the other stereotypes that are prescribed to so called ..here is comes "feminazis". Do I know lesbian femmos? Of course. Does that mean ALL feminists are gay? Do I know femmos who are frustrated by the status quo and frustrated by some perceptions perpetrated by men. Hell yes, does that mean that they are frustrated with men in general? Pssssh, I don't think so. I hate that type of generalising of feminists that happens but actually has little grounds in reality.
I don't know about you but when I hear the old "you're a man hater" (often comes in a feminist type entry) and it's been written here on this journal as well me reading it on so many other feminist blogs that I've lost count - I often think that the person writing it either has shit for brains, doesn't actually KNOW any feminists or rather...doesn't KNOW any women AT ALL or that maybe..just maybe THEY don't really like women all that much themselves, or feel threatened by them expressing an opinion - whatever. The fact that I *am* a feminist and I don't actually know ANY feminists who hate men NOR do I hate them myself sort of makes me wonder why on earth that's a phrase that is so easily thrown around by others when confronted with someone who claims to be a feminist? I mean I always hear about these so-called feminists who are supposed to hate men, usually it comes in the form of "yeah I know a feminist who hates men" but you know..it's sort of like an urban myth to me. Have you heard the one about the lady with the boil on her face that exploded and 50 tiny spiders came out? Yeah, that common. If anything feminists have so much problem in appearing a unified group with unifying beliefs in the first place that *men* aren't even the issue. It's women and what women think that is more of an issue.
Perhaps it's that feminist discourse is centered around the fact that things are not quite right in the world of woman. That there are certain issues that affect our gender and those issues maybe be life threatening or indeed socially confining to women. Maybe there's some resentment too, that women get the focus for this type of discourse? The fact that they are discussed might be a little too confronting for some people and confused with hate - when really it's not about hate at all, it's about getting answers and asking WHY does this happen to women? Is that a wrong question to ask? I certainly don't think so. It does NOT negate the FACT that things happen to men too and that is an important point. That in fact we are all individuals who have shit happen to us at some stage or another and that there are issues for men that are just as concerning that in fact SHOULD be discussed too. They should be discussed by the same people that are complaining that are sick of hearing about women's issues and say that yeah, men have issues too can't you see that? Well, dude, discuss away! Indeed, asking why the world is a certain way is not about hating anyone. It's about trying to get answers about how things are and perhaps start discourse that will affect change. One can only hope anyway.
I know that discussions about rape, prostitution, maternity leave and domestic violence gets a lot of backs up, especially with men but the fact of the matter is that these things DO happen and they DO happen mostly to women and the fact that we make up more than half the population means that it's something that everyone should be worried about. These are things that SHOULD be discussed widely and without refrain. It happens and the fact that it happens disturbingly often to one gender over another is a cause for feminist discourse. Live with it! I've read so many "anti-feminist" blogs (mostly written by anonymous people with anonymous comments - just goes to show doesn't it?) that will reference one article where a woman has beaten her husband in a show of domestic violence. Yes it happens and this is horrible. I don't want to diminish that - but the anti-feminist blogger will then say (and this happens in almost 100 percent of all anti-feminist bloggers) something along the lines of "and now you see why I refuse to get involved with all women. Women are evil etc etc". This is in direct opposition to most feminist blogs which takes issue on women's issues in society and how that affects us and in fact are a celebration of female achievement in the arts and culture. They are positive places that actually reserve any condensation of men to specific examples ie: THIS MAN said something not quite right about women. THIS MAN is wrong. Whereas the anti-feminist blogs that I've read are all about generalising one act to mean *all* women and being defensive about it too. Perhaps I've yet to come across a anti-feminist blog that is about being male positive instead of female negative. I'm know that there are some feminist blogs that really ARE venomous about a lot of things too, including men but definitely not the popular ones. The popular feminist blogs are generally very political places that invite discussion by men and indeed a lot of them have a dedicated male following too.
For the record I have read many male written gender positive blogs that have nothing to do with anti-feminism - they don't shy away from bringing up issues that are specific to men either! They are great and there should be more of them. They write about male and female issues with sex, violence and everything in between and they are so great because they don't fall into that age old trap of 'what I admire about women is their breasts, bum, legs, they look beautiful, they smell beautiful' - which is quite typical in what DOES tend to get written about women from a male perspective. I mean that kind of blog is great and all but male blogs that go beyond that REALLY need to be applauded for being so great - and they're not great because I agree with them, because I don't always, they're great because they are truthful without falling into "all feminists are bitches" type rhetoric.
Considering that not all feminists are the same, nor do any of the old stereotypes stand up why is it that the F-word is still a dirty one?
Anyway, on to Musical Monday in this haphazard post of mine. Of course, let's just complete the entry with a reference to Kat Bjelland; an artist I'm pretty much so in awe of I can't quite figure out the right words. She looks like an angel but has the voice of a terrifying demon. That's the best I can come up with. In the early days she cavorted around with Courtney Love and Jennifer Finch experimenting in a couple of bands before all went their separate ways and all became highly influential artists in their own right, with their own bands. I sigh here as I make the distinction and say they were 'female centered' bands - grrl rock if you will. Why? Oh because I've featured many, many bands who have all male members and sing about manly things but never distinguished them by saying 'all male' or 'male centered'. It's funny how these distinctions work in rock for women as opposed to men but there you have it.
Babes in Toyland had been around for a good many years before I got into them. I was completely taken with Kat Bjelland and in particular her rock operatic meets screaming banshee type singing voice.
She was a cheerleader in high school by the way.
A cheerleader AND a dirty femmo too. Oh my god, is your mind about to explode? Yes, it's true, us dirty femmos aren't just one type of person. I guess, that was my whole point. Mother's can be feminists. Hot girls can be feminists. Women who love men can be feminists. Scientists can be feminists. Radio personalities can be feminists. Men can be feminists. Cheerleaders can be feminists. It's not just one type of person. And for the record I've read many a comment implying that those people mentioned above CAN'T be feminists - like mum's can't be feminists. ha! Well I'm linking right here to a GREAT entry by a femmo mum who outlines some great points about how to raise your daughter a feminist and you know what? The initial question about 'how do I raise my daughter a feminist?' came from a bloke. How's that for breaking down a few barriers. Yes folks, it's not actually about man hating. Sorry to disappoint - on with the music.
Bruise Violet - Babes In Toyland (apparently not about Courtney Love..but I doubt it! lol).
Sweet 69 - Babes in Toyland
Labels: babies, dirty femmo, girls and women, messy women, musical monday, real women, vicious women, what women want, why, why do people get so touchy when it comes to talking about these things?, women
Thursday, September 27, 2007
Bah buhbuhbuh Baby!
One word answer meme:
1. Where is your mobile phone? hand bag
2. Your boyfriend/girlfriend? nil
3. Your hair? soft
4. Work? holidays
5. Your father? passed
6. Your favorite thing? daydreaming
7. Your dream last night? sexy
8. Your favorite drink? coffee
9. Dream car? petrol-less
10. The room you're in? bed
11. Your pet? dead.
12. Your fears? uncontrolled
13. What do you want to be in 10 years? happy
14. Where did you hang out last night? TV
15. What you're not good at? organisation
16. Eyebrow rings on the preferred sex? ..depends
17. One of your wish list items? hugs
18. Where you grew up? melb
19. The last thing you did? yawn
20. What are you wearing? pjs
21. What aren't you wearing? knickers
22. The website GoofyAuctions.com (filled with eBay spoofs)? huh?
23. Your computer? precious
24. Your life? crossroads
25. Your mood? melancholy
26. Missing? friend.
27. What are you thinking about right now? meme
28. Your car? filthy
29. Your work? transfer
30. Your summer? nearly
31. Your relationship status? zilch
32. Your favorite color? wine
33. When is the last time you laughed? morning.
34. Last time you cried? recently
35. School? ...maybe.
Spring has a sound. If I couldn't smell or see I'd still be able to pick spring from the sounds. Faint lawnmowers, the occasional bird call and that wind - an almost-there rustle against the leaves. All those things mean spring - there's a sense of newness, it's cliche to think it I know that, but it also happens to be true.
Speaking of newness it seems like all my friends have gone and sprouted new children overnight. I realise it's been happening for a while now, but the other day I looked at my calendar and realised that all my holiday catch-ups involve children. Yes, all of them, and there are quite a few. I'd be lying if I said it was always joyous - quite frankly it's not. Sorry to all the babied up people in the stratosphere but let me outline exactly why you guys sort of suck sometimes.
* You can't hold a conversation that doesn't involve children. I've tried, it doesn't happen. I've given up. I thought teachers had the monopoly on being self-absorbed but no, parents take the cake.
* Any plans are now classified "indefinite". I'll see you ... maybe has become the basic mantra. In fact I tend not to leave the house until the absolute last minute anymore, just in case the 'we can't make it' call comes through and trust me, it does about 60% of the time.
* Don't even get me started on just trying to *plan* an outing. Good Christ I'd have better luck planning coffee with the Pope.
* You now know nothing about my life. Not because I don't have one but because the last time we talked about me the baby was still inside you.
* You know what? I love you, I love your baby and I totally have both your backs but if I have to eat in one more child friendly restaurant I'm going to stab you with my child friendly spork. I hate child friendly restaurants. You are dumbfounded when I suggest somewhere else - like as if you're amazed that adults don't love places with a kids menu and crap coffee.
* You've suddenly turned competitive. Not about yourself but about your child. Little Man is in the somethingth percentile for body weight, you don't say? wow, I'm impressed. Little Man could walk by 6 months? Oooh lala, blow me over with a feather! Walking, who ever heard of such a thing in a human being!
* Phone calls go a little something like this
Yes, I realise you are doing something tres important by producing your own spawn but I remember once upon a time when you were cool and could hold a conversation. Maybe I'll be the same one day, but I honestly hope not.
Don't mind me, I'm just feeling a little neglected on the friend front. *pout*
1. Where is your mobile phone? hand bag
2. Your boyfriend/girlfriend? nil
3. Your hair? soft
4. Work? holidays
5. Your father? passed
6. Your favorite thing? daydreaming
7. Your dream last night? sexy
8. Your favorite drink? coffee
9. Dream car? petrol-less
10. The room you're in? bed
11. Your pet? dead.
12. Your fears? uncontrolled
13. What do you want to be in 10 years? happy
14. Where did you hang out last night? TV
15. What you're not good at? organisation
16. Eyebrow rings on the preferred sex? ..depends
17. One of your wish list items? hugs
18. Where you grew up? melb
19. The last thing you did? yawn
20. What are you wearing? pjs
21. What aren't you wearing? knickers
22. The website GoofyAuctions.com (filled with eBay spoofs)? huh?
23. Your computer? precious
24. Your life? crossroads
25. Your mood? melancholy
26. Missing? friend.
27. What are you thinking about right now? meme
28. Your car? filthy
29. Your work? transfer
30. Your summer? nearly
31. Your relationship status? zilch
32. Your favorite color? wine
33. When is the last time you laughed? morning.
34. Last time you cried? recently
35. School? ...maybe.
Spring has a sound. If I couldn't smell or see I'd still be able to pick spring from the sounds. Faint lawnmowers, the occasional bird call and that wind - an almost-there rustle against the leaves. All those things mean spring - there's a sense of newness, it's cliche to think it I know that, but it also happens to be true.
Speaking of newness it seems like all my friends have gone and sprouted new children overnight. I realise it's been happening for a while now, but the other day I looked at my calendar and realised that all my holiday catch-ups involve children. Yes, all of them, and there are quite a few. I'd be lying if I said it was always joyous - quite frankly it's not. Sorry to all the babied up people in the stratosphere but let me outline exactly why you guys sort of suck sometimes.
* You can't hold a conversation that doesn't involve children. I've tried, it doesn't happen. I've given up. I thought teachers had the monopoly on being self-absorbed but no, parents take the cake.
* Any plans are now classified "indefinite". I'll see you ... maybe has become the basic mantra. In fact I tend not to leave the house until the absolute last minute anymore, just in case the 'we can't make it' call comes through and trust me, it does about 60% of the time.
* Don't even get me started on just trying to *plan* an outing. Good Christ I'd have better luck planning coffee with the Pope.
* You now know nothing about my life. Not because I don't have one but because the last time we talked about me the baby was still inside you.
* You know what? I love you, I love your baby and I totally have both your backs but if I have to eat in one more child friendly restaurant I'm going to stab you with my child friendly spork. I hate child friendly restaurants. You are dumbfounded when I suggest somewhere else - like as if you're amazed that adults don't love places with a kids menu and crap coffee.
* You've suddenly turned competitive. Not about yourself but about your child. Little Man is in the somethingth percentile for body weight, you don't say? wow, I'm impressed. Little Man could walk by 6 months? Oooh lala, blow me over with a feather! Walking, who ever heard of such a thing in a human being!
* Phone calls go a little something like this
Me: Hey, long time no hear - how are you going?
You: Oh my god, where do I begin? Little Man was up all night grizzling so of course that meant I was up too. Hubby refused to get up because he says he's the one going to work and he needs his sleep. What about my sleep? I haven't had a full nights sleep in 6 months! So anyway, I'm up with little Man and every time he'd drift off to sleep I'd tip toe back into bed and then he'd start screaming again. So I go in and check his nappy but no poo and then I check his temperature and he feels a little warm but how warm is too warm for a baby? In the end I called the nurse at 3am mind you, and she kept suggesting all these different things so then I called the maternal nurse and SHE said something completely different to the other nurse so in the end I bundled up Little Man and took him to the hospital where I was 6th in line and had to wait for 3 and a half hours JUST to get a consultation and then a further 45 minutes in the doctor's office. In the end it turned out to just be rash but you can never be too careful when it comes to babies can you? Anyway how are you going?
Me: Err... um well I've got some exciting news actually!
You: oh good you know these days I just don't get any adult conversation anymore. I'd love to hear some news.
Me: Okay well...
You: hello, hellooooo, hello Little Man are you smiling? Are you smiling at me? Aren't you clever? You're very clever and handsome - now here you go here's a toy you can play with..
Me: *cough* anyway..
You: oh sorry I *am* terrible I know. Baby brain and all that. oh bugger now he's started crying I have to go feed him bye
*dial tone*
Me: ohhhh kaaay.
Yes, I realise you are doing something tres important by producing your own spawn but I remember once upon a time when you were cool and could hold a conversation. Maybe I'll be the same one day, but I honestly hope not.
Don't mind me, I'm just feeling a little neglected on the friend front. *pout*
Labels: babies, friends, frustration, meme
Saturday, August 11, 2007
I don't wanna grow up!
This week there has been a birth, a mourning, a silly dress up day and I went to view a house in a suburb that has the same name as a popular grammy award winning song by daggy 70s band. I've had the offending song in my head all week long. If I do end up moving to this suburb I have to wonder if I will have the song permanently embedded there. I wouldn't put it past my brain to do something like that. Perhaps I should look for places in suburbs that have no associations with 70s bands.
* I've upped my house hunting from 0 to hero in the last couple of weeks. Searching dropped off last year when I realised that I have no buying power. Now I'm back - still with little buying power (and higher interest rates) - but I've stopped looking at Victorian single fronted cottages with open fireplaces. That was a hard dream to let go of. A girl like me deserves an open fire place dammit but I figure that since I squeal at all things creepy crawly then I really shouldn't have a gaping hole in my (imaginary) house. I also figure that if I want a fireplace I can always light one in a garbage can out the front of my future house. I'm feeling that would be okay in the kind of neighbourhood I'm looking at.
* Across to a nicer side of town my friend, S sits in her hospital room having just given birth to a baby that has been rushed to another hospital, pending an operation that may or may not work. She asks for my prayers - not being religious herself. Not being religious myself I don't know how to offer that either. I send out into the universe the only thing I can and that is hope. Hope that things go well, hope that she has the strength to get through whatever comes and an ear... should she need it.
* School has brought with it a silly dress up day coupled with a theme. I must say, school communities these days are much more involved then they were in the 80s when I went to school. Almost all teachers made a supreme effort as did students. I put on a black wig to commemorate a character and was told by half the staff that I should go black and the other half that they're glad I'm closer to honey. All the kids did a double take - hilarious.
* One Aspergers child at our school has a new obsession - music. He's 7 and right into bands like Talking Heads, The Ramones, Bow Wow Wow, Coldplay, Mozart etc. I knew he had okay tastes when he proclaimed loudly in class the other day that Rhianna's "Umbrella" sounded like a dog dying on the street. I laughed and laughed. Being Aspergers his mind has already worked to categorise hundreds if not thousands of songs he's come across into neat little boxes inside his head. He can name songs in correct order on all the albums he has come across. Being an especially bright kid (on top of the Aspergers) he has already figured out how to apply for a credit card on the internet and start downloading many songs legally. I don't know how a 7 year old got his own credit card (yes, he put in his correct DOB) but let me tell you his parents weren't impressed. We have a few Aspergers children at the school and they are all so different from each other, all with varying degrees of the condition. I wonder what this one especially going to be like as an adult - he has quite a severe case.
* My friend M has suffered a miscarriage. About 1 in 4 women do, apparently and I know many, many, many who have. This is an especially devastating blow for M though because it was a bit of a minor miracle the pregnancy happened in the first place. I'm seeing her tomorrow. I'm banking on it being a bit of an emotional get together.
* I've upped my house hunting from 0 to hero in the last couple of weeks. Searching dropped off last year when I realised that I have no buying power. Now I'm back - still with little buying power (and higher interest rates) - but I've stopped looking at Victorian single fronted cottages with open fireplaces. That was a hard dream to let go of. A girl like me deserves an open fire place dammit but I figure that since I squeal at all things creepy crawly then I really shouldn't have a gaping hole in my (imaginary) house. I also figure that if I want a fireplace I can always light one in a garbage can out the front of my future house. I'm feeling that would be okay in the kind of neighbourhood I'm looking at.
* Across to a nicer side of town my friend, S sits in her hospital room having just given birth to a baby that has been rushed to another hospital, pending an operation that may or may not work. She asks for my prayers - not being religious herself. Not being religious myself I don't know how to offer that either. I send out into the universe the only thing I can and that is hope. Hope that things go well, hope that she has the strength to get through whatever comes and an ear... should she need it.
* School has brought with it a silly dress up day coupled with a theme. I must say, school communities these days are much more involved then they were in the 80s when I went to school. Almost all teachers made a supreme effort as did students. I put on a black wig to commemorate a character and was told by half the staff that I should go black and the other half that they're glad I'm closer to honey. All the kids did a double take - hilarious.
* One Aspergers child at our school has a new obsession - music. He's 7 and right into bands like Talking Heads, The Ramones, Bow Wow Wow, Coldplay, Mozart etc. I knew he had okay tastes when he proclaimed loudly in class the other day that Rhianna's "Umbrella" sounded like a dog dying on the street. I laughed and laughed. Being Aspergers his mind has already worked to categorise hundreds if not thousands of songs he's come across into neat little boxes inside his head. He can name songs in correct order on all the albums he has come across. Being an especially bright kid (on top of the Aspergers) he has already figured out how to apply for a credit card on the internet and start downloading many songs legally. I don't know how a 7 year old got his own credit card (yes, he put in his correct DOB) but let me tell you his parents weren't impressed. We have a few Aspergers children at the school and they are all so different from each other, all with varying degrees of the condition. I wonder what this one especially going to be like as an adult - he has quite a severe case.
* My friend M has suffered a miscarriage. About 1 in 4 women do, apparently and I know many, many, many who have. This is an especially devastating blow for M though because it was a bit of a minor miracle the pregnancy happened in the first place. I'm seeing her tomorrow. I'm banking on it being a bit of an emotional get together.
Labels: babies, friends, house, music, news, random
Friday, March 02, 2007
Always with the miscellany
* I happened to be early for a dinner with my friends the last night (I know, me - early? crazy!) and finding myself with nothing to do I resorted to cleaning out the inbox in my mobile phone. Of course I have one of those dinosaur phones that is about 5 years old, no colour, no photos a tiny inbox so that didn't take very long so I turned to the "notes" section on the old crappy Siemens and found this little gem:
For the life of me I can't remember the situation that necessitated me writing this little entry. I can decipher that I was probably out on the town, and/or being leered at by some guy that was making me feel uncomfortable. For fear of having to make eye contact with said weirdo again I probably pretended I was writing a text message when really I was writing a message to my future self to beware. It, being the season of weird messages out of the blue, I thought I'd pass that on. Maybe it will ring true for one of you (or all of you).
Do you ever write notes to yourself on your phone like that? Go check and let me know!
* #1 had her baby the other day. It's a boy and soooo tiny. Seeing the baby immediately made me feel clucky in a most ridiculous and irrational way but also a bit relieved I didn't have one at the same time. I guess once you have the bub that's IT, you're a parent for life.
An example of this hit home for me when I went out for coffee with a friend a couple of months ago. I hadn't seen her in two years and she basically told me that was the first time in three years she had been out without the baby. I couldn't believe it. Apparently her husband has basketball games, golf games and other things that take him out of the house whereas she doesn't. In order to go out she made sure that she had fed, bathed and put the babies in their pajamas before handing them over to her husband. I couldn't believe my ears - it sounded like the 1950s! Despite the fact that I am a social leper, I have never in my whole life been so happy not to have a husband/baby than I felt at that moment. I didn't even know what to say to her about it. I think I just commiserated and planted my head firmly inside the coffee cup and too a big gulp. I know she brought it on herself in a way, by not demanding that she get some time off from the kids but at the same time I realised that he could also be a bit more accommodating too by um, doing his parental duty and looking after the kids instead of being begged to babysit them like some nanny.
I know that #1 and her husband will be totally different in this regard but I know that when you have a baby and you're a woman it tends to go where you go. I don't know many men (any actually) who take their babies out for lunch when they go out with all their male friends. I don't know if it scares me because I'm single with no baby prospects and just trying to rationalise how great things are or it scares me because I'm immature and refuse to accept the status quo.
* Anyway, nothing to do with babies, but while out to dinner last night M told S and I about the issues she's been having with sex. In short she has a physiological condition that basically means she can't. That means that her husband married her knowing this (they've been together about 3 years). Yes, married her and told her that if it takes years of treatment to make it better so that the next 40 years will be blissful then there is not question that he will wait and be patient and do other enjoyable things together in the meanwhile. I'm trying to be as vague as possible here, so no, no more details. But suffice to say, it's not a case of her not wanting to - she has never been so devistated in her life. I don't know if this will end up being too much for them to handle, because yes sex is so important - but for now I heard her story and realised THAT'S what it means to really love someone - not really the foregoing sex bit - but understanding that the person you love is on the inside.
Note to self: don't make eye contact with weird men.
For the life of me I can't remember the situation that necessitated me writing this little entry. I can decipher that I was probably out on the town, and/or being leered at by some guy that was making me feel uncomfortable. For fear of having to make eye contact with said weirdo again I probably pretended I was writing a text message when really I was writing a message to my future self to beware. It, being the season of weird messages out of the blue, I thought I'd pass that on. Maybe it will ring true for one of you (or all of you).
Do you ever write notes to yourself on your phone like that? Go check and let me know!
* #1 had her baby the other day. It's a boy and soooo tiny. Seeing the baby immediately made me feel clucky in a most ridiculous and irrational way but also a bit relieved I didn't have one at the same time. I guess once you have the bub that's IT, you're a parent for life.
An example of this hit home for me when I went out for coffee with a friend a couple of months ago. I hadn't seen her in two years and she basically told me that was the first time in three years she had been out without the baby. I couldn't believe it. Apparently her husband has basketball games, golf games and other things that take him out of the house whereas she doesn't. In order to go out she made sure that she had fed, bathed and put the babies in their pajamas before handing them over to her husband. I couldn't believe my ears - it sounded like the 1950s! Despite the fact that I am a social leper, I have never in my whole life been so happy not to have a husband/baby than I felt at that moment. I didn't even know what to say to her about it. I think I just commiserated and planted my head firmly inside the coffee cup and too a big gulp. I know she brought it on herself in a way, by not demanding that she get some time off from the kids but at the same time I realised that he could also be a bit more accommodating too by um, doing his parental duty and looking after the kids instead of being begged to babysit them like some nanny.
I know that #1 and her husband will be totally different in this regard but I know that when you have a baby and you're a woman it tends to go where you go. I don't know many men (any actually) who take their babies out for lunch when they go out with all their male friends. I don't know if it scares me because I'm single with no baby prospects and just trying to rationalise how great things are or it scares me because I'm immature and refuse to accept the status quo.
* Anyway, nothing to do with babies, but while out to dinner last night M told S and I about the issues she's been having with sex. In short she has a physiological condition that basically means she can't. That means that her husband married her knowing this (they've been together about 3 years). Yes, married her and told her that if it takes years of treatment to make it better so that the next 40 years will be blissful then there is not question that he will wait and be patient and do other enjoyable things together in the meanwhile. I'm trying to be as vague as possible here, so no, no more details. But suffice to say, it's not a case of her not wanting to - she has never been so devistated in her life. I don't know if this will end up being too much for them to handle, because yes sex is so important - but for now I heard her story and realised THAT'S what it means to really love someone - not really the foregoing sex bit - but understanding that the person you love is on the inside.
Labels: babies, marriage, messages from the mobile, miscellany, sex
Tuesday, January 23, 2007
4
* In the last week in Melbourne three men have been apprehended for filming up women's skirts. One made a long term career of it on various trams in Melbourne (no job, used the dole to purchase a MET card). Two others were discovered doing the same at the Australian Open tennis. For fucks sake - what is the big attraction? I can understand wanting to look at the vag of someone you're actually a chance with, but randoms? Let me tell you, when plumbers crack is involved I LOOK AWAY IN HORROR! Meanwhile, men are filming crack! Is there any hope for humanity at all?
* Hillary Clinton is IN! Boy do I wish I could vote. She's a smart lady and I love the idea of Bill Clinton being the first lady (what would they call him?). The other guy looks much too young to run his own lemonade stand let alone a country, but hell who knows? Can the US get the stick out of its arse and ever vote for a female president or a black one for that matter? If Australia was in the same position I'd unfortunately say that a woman would stand NEXT TO NO CHANCE. As for a black person - well, there are so many aboriginal members of parliament aren't there? We really should be ashamed.
* I caught up with #2 and R for lunch yesterday. R is only a few weeks away from giving birth and was talking about how her husband doesn't want her to have an epidural because he doesn't want a cone head child (there was some lame reasoning behind this). Say what? R told him where to go. Let me tell you, they have not yet invented the kind of hardcore drugs that I would take during labour. THE BABY GOES THROUGH THE VAGINA! Jesus christ.
* I'm starting to panic about going back to school next week. Really panic. I'm not ready for the exhaustion and mental drain that is the nature of teaching. Sometimes I feel like I'm putting on a suit of armor every morning when I get up for work and fighting off the masses. I guess people really don't understand how difficult it can be unless you've actually given it a go. There's a lot I love about teaching, but sometimes I wish I had other talents or qualifications that would allow me the option of doing something different for a while just so I could compare.
* Hillary Clinton is IN! Boy do I wish I could vote. She's a smart lady and I love the idea of Bill Clinton being the first lady (what would they call him?). The other guy looks much too young to run his own lemonade stand let alone a country, but hell who knows? Can the US get the stick out of its arse and ever vote for a female president or a black one for that matter? If Australia was in the same position I'd unfortunately say that a woman would stand NEXT TO NO CHANCE. As for a black person - well, there are so many aboriginal members of parliament aren't there? We really should be ashamed.
* I caught up with #2 and R for lunch yesterday. R is only a few weeks away from giving birth and was talking about how her husband doesn't want her to have an epidural because he doesn't want a cone head child (there was some lame reasoning behind this). Say what? R told him where to go. Let me tell you, they have not yet invented the kind of hardcore drugs that I would take during labour. THE BABY GOES THROUGH THE VAGINA! Jesus christ.
* I'm starting to panic about going back to school next week. Really panic. I'm not ready for the exhaustion and mental drain that is the nature of teaching. Sometimes I feel like I'm putting on a suit of armor every morning when I get up for work and fighting off the masses. I guess people really don't understand how difficult it can be unless you've actually given it a go. There's a lot I love about teaching, but sometimes I wish I had other talents or qualifications that would allow me the option of doing something different for a while just so I could compare.
Labels: babies, random, school
Thursday, January 18, 2007
the baby inferiority complex
I'm starting to get a baby inferiority complex.
Many of my good girlfriends are scooping poo out of the bathtub (true), about to give birth, just pregnant, trying to get pregnant or thinking about getting pregnant within the next 2 years. It's enough to give a single girl with an empty womb (that sounds a bit gross - sorry) a bit of a complex. Do I want children one day? Absolutely, but it would be nice to have a love of my life to go with it rather than a turkey baster (haha). I've just realised I'm at that age where everyone around me seems to be having babies and I have..um..I have my blog baby! It's a bit of a worry.
Then there are the changes...
I was speaking to my friend F on the phone today and she spent 80% of the conversation talking to baby J. Now I love baby J, he's gorgeous and wiggly but hey, I'm on the phone..hellooooo. HELLOOOOOO! I'm here too! We used to have conversations about the meaning of life. Now they're about baby poop. Despite lack of child, I can carry a baby poop conversation pretty well - but I don't want to talk about that constantly. Then I realised that when #1 has her baby (soon) and S finally admits she's preggers (we all know, she's being very obvious without saying anything), then in 9 months our meetings for coffee and the like are going to be a bit on the awkward side for me. I love babies and let's face it, in many ways they're probably a lot nicer than adults but wow, I don't know if I can do the baby thing EVERY time (where mum goes, baby goes - after my friends have given birth I've never seen them without child ever again). I feel a bit selfish for worrying about these things. I'm just going to have to get over it...
In other news E is excited because the dog breeder called her with a puppy on reserve! Oh boy, I *really* can't get away from it, can I?
Many of my good girlfriends are scooping poo out of the bathtub (true), about to give birth, just pregnant, trying to get pregnant or thinking about getting pregnant within the next 2 years. It's enough to give a single girl with an empty womb (that sounds a bit gross - sorry) a bit of a complex. Do I want children one day? Absolutely, but it would be nice to have a love of my life to go with it rather than a turkey baster (haha). I've just realised I'm at that age where everyone around me seems to be having babies and I have..um..I have my blog baby! It's a bit of a worry.
Then there are the changes...
I was speaking to my friend F on the phone today and she spent 80% of the conversation talking to baby J. Now I love baby J, he's gorgeous and wiggly but hey, I'm on the phone..hellooooo. HELLOOOOOO! I'm here too! We used to have conversations about the meaning of life. Now they're about baby poop. Despite lack of child, I can carry a baby poop conversation pretty well - but I don't want to talk about that constantly. Then I realised that when #1 has her baby (soon) and S finally admits she's preggers (we all know, she's being very obvious without saying anything), then in 9 months our meetings for coffee and the like are going to be a bit on the awkward side for me. I love babies and let's face it, in many ways they're probably a lot nicer than adults but wow, I don't know if I can do the baby thing EVERY time (where mum goes, baby goes - after my friends have given birth I've never seen them without child ever again). I feel a bit selfish for worrying about these things. I'm just going to have to get over it...
In other news E is excited because the dog breeder called her with a puppy on reserve! Oh boy, I *really* can't get away from it, can I?
Labels: babies
Tuesday, January 16, 2007
movies, women and a meme.
#1 and I got together for a very early morning movie session for tight arse Tuesdays at the cinemas today. It's 39 degrees C today in our fair city so we really wanted to be in air conditioned comfort instead of sweating like pigs in the fiery pits of hell (anywhere else). We saw the movie Babel. It was excellent - thought provoking, well acted, beautiful script - a winner for sure. In terms of performance you simply cannot go past Helen Mirren as The Queen in The Queen. That was some of the most amazing acting I've seen in forever - but story wise Babel has it all over The Queen. Let's hope they both get some kind of gong at the Golden Globes.
I'm very much looking forward to seeing Dreamgirls, which travesty of travesties has STILL not been screened here. I've been hanging out for it since I fist caught the trailer a couple of months ago. And I Am telling You, I'm Not Going is a killer song - a favourite of mine (I know I say that a lot) - and I can't hear it without getting tingles up my spine and a bit emotional (god, it's so pathetic). You can already tell that Jennifer Hudson is going to shit all over that bloody Beyonce in the movie. Yes, yes Beyonce, we all know you're bootylicious - you won't let us (or Destiny's Child) forget it - but let's move over for the real talent for once, mmky?
Anyway, #1 and I were musing afterwards at our post movie lunch fest about women who give dickheads a second chance. A friend of hers has recently taken back a known cheater, abuser and drug user - even after declaring that she would never date him again (after the last time). Why are women such pussies? Do we really have such low self worth that we will take ANYONE on? Surely being alone with a litter of cats is way preferable to regular sex with someone who is probably sleeping around! Why do we have such low standards when it comes to men? Do we think we can make them better? Do we like a challenge? Are we masochists?
I don't know a whole lot of men who are willing to give freakshow women a second go, but I know plenty of women who insist the old myth is true ie: they've changed. Listen, they never change do they? I've never actually come across a dickhead who has changed into a prince. I have come across couples who do not work together - where they are both dickheads while together and when they're with different people they become remotely human - but as for changing for one person? Nope. Is there something I'm not seeing in this? Why do we do it?
And last but not least - I was tagged by Ant
5 facts - one of them is false.
#1 - When I was 9 or so, Bro and I used to have a radio show called Double Plop and Triple Plop. Basically they would come out of the toilet to save the world. Each episode was a masterpiece of cultural learning. We talked into a cassette recorder to record our voices on tape. Then we'd play it back on high speed dubbing and literally laugh until we peed our pants. There were lots of poo jokes in it.
#2 - When I was 19 I was on a plane flight where I sat in front of Australian faux punk band The Living End. I accidentally flashed one of them while on the way back from the toilet.
#3 - In year 9 I had a friend that would shoplift regularly. Twice she convinced me to do it, that it was easy and that I was dumb if I didn't! On one adventure I stupidly stole a deck of playing cards with naked men sporting erections on it. It was a dare. Mum found them in my room. She's very Catholic. That wasn't a good day in our household.
#4 - I used to do tarot readings for my friends. I was shit, but it was fun.
#5 - When we were kids Bro and I would play superheroes quite regularly - we were obsessed. He had a superman cape and I used to steal it and demand to be Superman and make him be my sidekick. I also used to make him give me pony rides. Obviously I was completely fucked up.
Sooo, one of them is a lie - do you know which? Do you care? I'm not going to tag anyone because the last time I did one of these memes I tagged people who just did NOT play!
EDIT - The Answers - I'm just going to put them here for convenience
ANSWERS
#1 - True: Bro and I did indeed have our own radio show called Double Plop and Triple Plop. We were OBSESSED with it. Actually we became obsessed with taping anything, including our parents fighting. I remember one time we taped mum and dad yelling at eachother and then played it back for them. Boy were they embarrassed.
#2 - True - Ha, you non-believers yes I am clumsy enough to accidentally flash dumb rockers! I was coming back from the toilet and had to walk past their seats to get to mine. Then I sat down. That's all that happened.. BUUUT, when girls sit down in their chairs and they're wearing a skirt they smooth the skirt down before they sit. I went to smooth my skirt down but oh..wait..fabric strangely missing and omg tucked into back of knickers! I did not go to the toilet again.
#3 - True - Ha again! To answer your question Phil it was at Knox City Shoppo (bogan capital) - which I don't think I've ever been to since! I can't remember the name of the store but it was one of those variety ones that sells sex stuff AND other novelty stuff. Anyway, the cards were on this glass shelf with all the other sex toys and of course there we were, young as anything just standing in front of it. Not suss at all! Anyway, my friend dared me to take the cards and so I did. The images on those cards are BURNED into my brain, let me tell ya. There was this one with a guy straddling a chair backwards and his ..oh my GOD! Mum was saying the rosary that night.
#4 - True. I did indeed used to do tarot readings for my friends. I had this deck of cards (it was a greek mythology deck) and E and L were my main customers. I'd write their predictions down in a scrap book. Of course, did I keep the book? Nooo, that probably would have been the smart thing to do. I was utterly shit at it and would be looking up the books every time I turned a card over. ooo mystical. I don't touch them any more but I do have a deck of Vertigo Tarot - which has characters from the comic book The Sandman on them by one of my favourite artists - Dave McKean. It's a beautiful deck.
#5 - FALSE. Saru and Sarah. I think you two were the only ones who got it. Saru - EXACTLY. Superman didn't have a sidekick. Plus, I wanted to MARRY superman not BE him. Bro and I played superheroes a lot and he did have a cape. But I was ever superman. I was WONDERWOMAN of course! I made myself a little crown and cuffs out of silver card and then I'd get my skipping rope (golden lasso of truth) and make bro stand there while I practiced lassoing him! I'm sure he had so much fun. To throw you all off track though I added that last bit in about pony rides. yes, I did make bro give me pony rides. So that bit was true. Like I said though - fucked up.
hehe, this was fun. Saru and Sarah you win...um..nothing except the knowledge that you kicked everybody elses arses! woo
I'm very much looking forward to seeing Dreamgirls, which travesty of travesties has STILL not been screened here. I've been hanging out for it since I fist caught the trailer a couple of months ago. And I Am telling You, I'm Not Going is a killer song - a favourite of mine (I know I say that a lot) - and I can't hear it without getting tingles up my spine and a bit emotional (god, it's so pathetic). You can already tell that Jennifer Hudson is going to shit all over that bloody Beyonce in the movie. Yes, yes Beyonce, we all know you're bootylicious - you won't let us (or Destiny's Child) forget it - but let's move over for the real talent for once, mmky?
Anyway, #1 and I were musing afterwards at our post movie lunch fest about women who give dickheads a second chance. A friend of hers has recently taken back a known cheater, abuser and drug user - even after declaring that she would never date him again (after the last time). Why are women such pussies? Do we really have such low self worth that we will take ANYONE on? Surely being alone with a litter of cats is way preferable to regular sex with someone who is probably sleeping around! Why do we have such low standards when it comes to men? Do we think we can make them better? Do we like a challenge? Are we masochists?
I don't know a whole lot of men who are willing to give freakshow women a second go, but I know plenty of women who insist the old myth is true ie: they've changed. Listen, they never change do they? I've never actually come across a dickhead who has changed into a prince. I have come across couples who do not work together - where they are both dickheads while together and when they're with different people they become remotely human - but as for changing for one person? Nope. Is there something I'm not seeing in this? Why do we do it?
And last but not least - I was tagged by Ant
5 facts - one of them is false.
#1 - When I was 9 or so, Bro and I used to have a radio show called Double Plop and Triple Plop. Basically they would come out of the toilet to save the world. Each episode was a masterpiece of cultural learning. We talked into a cassette recorder to record our voices on tape. Then we'd play it back on high speed dubbing and literally laugh until we peed our pants. There were lots of poo jokes in it.
#2 - When I was 19 I was on a plane flight where I sat in front of Australian faux punk band The Living End. I accidentally flashed one of them while on the way back from the toilet.
#3 - In year 9 I had a friend that would shoplift regularly. Twice she convinced me to do it, that it was easy and that I was dumb if I didn't! On one adventure I stupidly stole a deck of playing cards with naked men sporting erections on it. It was a dare. Mum found them in my room. She's very Catholic. That wasn't a good day in our household.
#4 - I used to do tarot readings for my friends. I was shit, but it was fun.
#5 - When we were kids Bro and I would play superheroes quite regularly - we were obsessed. He had a superman cape and I used to steal it and demand to be Superman and make him be my sidekick. I also used to make him give me pony rides. Obviously I was completely fucked up.
Sooo, one of them is a lie - do you know which? Do you care? I'm not going to tag anyone because the last time I did one of these memes I tagged people who just did NOT play!
EDIT - The Answers - I'm just going to put them here for convenience
ANSWERS
#1 - True: Bro and I did indeed have our own radio show called Double Plop and Triple Plop. We were OBSESSED with it. Actually we became obsessed with taping anything, including our parents fighting. I remember one time we taped mum and dad yelling at eachother and then played it back for them. Boy were they embarrassed.
#2 - True - Ha, you non-believers yes I am clumsy enough to accidentally flash dumb rockers! I was coming back from the toilet and had to walk past their seats to get to mine. Then I sat down. That's all that happened.. BUUUT, when girls sit down in their chairs and they're wearing a skirt they smooth the skirt down before they sit. I went to smooth my skirt down but oh..wait..fabric strangely missing and omg tucked into back of knickers! I did not go to the toilet again.
#3 - True - Ha again! To answer your question Phil it was at Knox City Shoppo (bogan capital) - which I don't think I've ever been to since! I can't remember the name of the store but it was one of those variety ones that sells sex stuff AND other novelty stuff. Anyway, the cards were on this glass shelf with all the other sex toys and of course there we were, young as anything just standing in front of it. Not suss at all! Anyway, my friend dared me to take the cards and so I did. The images on those cards are BURNED into my brain, let me tell ya. There was this one with a guy straddling a chair backwards and his ..oh my GOD! Mum was saying the rosary that night.
#4 - True. I did indeed used to do tarot readings for my friends. I had this deck of cards (it was a greek mythology deck) and E and L were my main customers. I'd write their predictions down in a scrap book. Of course, did I keep the book? Nooo, that probably would have been the smart thing to do. I was utterly shit at it and would be looking up the books every time I turned a card over. ooo mystical. I don't touch them any more but I do have a deck of Vertigo Tarot - which has characters from the comic book The Sandman on them by one of my favourite artists - Dave McKean. It's a beautiful deck.
#5 - FALSE. Saru and Sarah. I think you two were the only ones who got it. Saru - EXACTLY. Superman didn't have a sidekick. Plus, I wanted to MARRY superman not BE him. Bro and I played superheroes a lot and he did have a cape. But I was ever superman. I was WONDERWOMAN of course! I made myself a little crown and cuffs out of silver card and then I'd get my skipping rope (golden lasso of truth) and make bro stand there while I practiced lassoing him! I'm sure he had so much fun. To throw you all off track though I added that last bit in about pony rides. yes, I did make bro give me pony rides. So that bit was true. Like I said though - fucked up.
hehe, this was fun. Saru and Sarah you win...um..nothing except the knowledge that you kicked everybody elses arses! woo
Labels: babies, friends, meme, movies, questions, wonderings
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