[Miscellany]

* I happened to be early for a dinner with my friends the last night (I know, me - early? crazy!) and finding myself with nothing to do I resorted to cleaning out the inbox in my mobile phone. Of course I have one of those dinosaur phones that is about 5 years old, no colour, no photos a tiny inbox so that didn't take very long so I turned to the "notes" section on the old crappy Siemens and found this little gem:

Note to self: don't make eye contact with weird men.

For the life of me I can't remember the situation that necessitated me writing this little entry. I can decipher that I was probably out on the town, and/or being leered at by some guy that was making me feel uncomfortable. For fear of having to make eye contact with said weirdo again I probably pretended I was writing a text message when really I was writing a message to my future self to beware. It, being the season of weird messages out of the blue, I thought I'd pass that on. Maybe it will ring true for one of you (or all of you).

Do you ever write notes to yourself on your phone like that? Go check and let me know!

* #1 had her baby the other day. It's a boy and soooo tiny. Seeing the baby immediately made me feel clucky in a most ridiculous and irrational way but also a bit relieved I didn't have one at the same time. I guess once you have the bub that's IT, you're a parent for life.

An example of this hit home for me when I went out for coffee with a friend a couple of months ago. I hadn't seen her in two years and she basically told me that was the first time in three years she had been out without the baby. I couldn't believe it. Apparently her husband has basketball games, golf games and other things that take him out of the house whereas she doesn't. In order to go out she made sure that she had fed, bathed and put the babies in their pajamas before handing them over to her husband. I couldn't believe my ears - it sounded like the 1950s! Despite the fact that I am a social leper, I have never in my whole life been so happy not to have a husband/baby than I felt at that moment. I didn't even know what to say to her about it. I think I just commiserated and planted my head firmly inside the coffee cup and too a big gulp. I know she brought it on herself in a way, by not demanding that she get some time off from the kids but at the same time I realised that he could also be a bit more accommodating too by um, doing his parental duty and looking after the kids instead of being begged to babysit them like some nanny.

I know that #1 and her husband will be totally different in this regard but I know that when you have a baby and you're a woman it tends to go where you go. I don't know many men (any actually) who take their babies out for lunch when they go out with all their male friends. I don't know if it scares me because I'm single with no baby prospects and just trying to rationalise how great things are or it scares me because I'm immature and refuse to accept the status quo.

* Anyway, nothing to do with babies, but while out to dinner last night M told S and I about the issues she's been having with sex. In short she has a physiological condition that basically means she can't. That means that her husband married her knowing this (they've been together about 3 years). Yes, married her and told her that if it takes years of treatment to make it better so that the next 40 years will be blissful then there is not question that he will wait and be patient and do other enjoyable things together in the meanwhile. I'm trying to be as vague as possible here, so no, no more details. But suffice to say, it's not a case of her not wanting to - she has never been so devistated in her life. I don't know if this will end up being too much for them to handle, because yes sex is so important - but for now I heard her story and realised THAT'S what it means to really love someone - not really the foregoing sex bit - but understanding that the person you love is on the inside.

Labels: babies, marriage, messages from the mobile, miscellany, sex

posted by M at 4:33 pm 32 comments