[Miscellany]

It's gotten to the stage where I've known my newest friends for 10 years.

wow.... just wow.

One such group of old chums of mine met for pre-dinner drinks at a rather self conscious venue in the city the other night and talk, turned to how we make our money - which is hilarious since none of us have any money! However, apparently two of us have share portfolios. SHARES! I could hardly believe it when they started talking about the all ordinaries index like they knew what it was. I use that segment in the news to double check the couch for any stray pieces of chocolate (sad but true) and could barely keep up with the conversation. I was under the impression that only salt and pepper haired men who are trying to reclaim their youth by riding vespas had share portfolios, but clearly I am wrong. Apparently 30 somethings are doing it too. In fact I felt rather left out and behind the times with my common place mortgage and pathetic teacher salary. It's all about shares now, and nobody thought to tell me.

I'm feeling rather like I do when people say they are fans of Ke$ha (should there be an exclamation mark at the end?) and her music. I kind of think wow, I didn't consider her a person worthy of thinking as a musician, let alone someone who would have a serious fan who would spend money on an album. That's kind of like me and shares. It just never crossed my mind to consider them as anything more than an annoyance taking up a whole precious section of the newspaper that could otherwise be devoted to something important, like movies or Charlie Sheen.

I don't know many people read this thing but certainly a great deal more than comment - so please let me know if you play the market. I need to know where I stand in this thing.

Labels: friends, girls and women, grown ups, money, why do people get so touchy when it comes to talking about these things?

posted by M at 7:16 pm 6 comments

Being a non-babied up person living in a world where it seems like everyone has spawned has afforded me the opportunity to observe things without being too emotionally involved. I have my pet peeves with how mums and dads behave just like I have my pet peeves by how ordinary everyday people behave. In fact, one might argue that I have a lot of pet peeves. Oh well, I'm peevey - you really got a problem with that?

A little issue has arisen lately in baby-land and I have to say, it's given me more peeves than ever thought possible. I'm talking about how people react to the weight of babies. Now I realise that weight is probably the most important way that one can distinguish how healthy a baby is but I'm not talking about that. It's the language that people use.

My friend S's little miracle (really, he actually is - spend first couple of months at the Children's hospital and really was touch and go for a while there) has been growing in leaps and bounds since he was released from the hospital. Really he is one of the cutest babies in the world. He's one of those babies that strangers will boldly approach and want to hold. Things started off a little rough for the poor guy but now he's doing well. In fact when people see him how they ALWAYS comment about what a big boy he is, and how chubby he is getting and ...hey maybe mum should be putting him on a little feeding restriction. The thing is little N is not like those big babies you see on Phil Donohue where the baby is actually half the size of mum at 1 year of age and looks basically like an adult in diapers (though, I might be confusing this with a whoooole other episode of Donohue). Little N is in fact precisely in the 50th percentile for his weight. He's the epitome of normality. He's not 1 percent below or above he's just right. Meanwhile mothers of babies born on the 15th percentile are commenting about what a chubbster N is - not in a nice way either - in an I'm slightly worried about your baby way - patronising, utterly patronising. Like as if being born thin and still thin is somehow better than than being normal and healthy.

The reason why it's a peeve of mine is that I can see where this is leading. We already have this preoccupation with children's weight and the so-called obesity crisis in children. I wish I could link to an entry that "pubby" wrote about this issue but he's taken his blog offline - but he also asked whether these figures were sincere because he hadn't noticed that suddenly all these kids were supposedly fat. I work with kids. I see kids everyday and there is probably 1 per class who is overweight. IF THAT. I don't have any this year at all. In fact I'm looking at all the children I know who started school this year and there is not ONE who would even be considered chubby - that's almost 100 new children! Figures point to something like 40% of children being fat but from what I've seen it's actually about 5% which is called a NORMAL DISTRIBUTION of fat folks. Maybe it's 10% in some areas...yes, more concerning but still, hardly an epidemic! I don't know if figures are being inflated or whether the way we measure fat is right off the scale (pun intended) but if it's an epidemic then I don't bloody see it at all.

The point is the weight obsession starts with babies. All these mothers (let's face it, mostly mums) are obsessed with talking about the weight of their own children but not only that, I sense some smugness and defensiveness about weight, depending on where on the percentile the baby falls. Once I commented on how F's baby J had grown into a big boy. I hadn't seen him in about 3 months and he was like a new child. So what, he got big! Big deal, it's great, it's called growing. But I got flicked with the end of the wrath stick quick smart by F who snapped that actually he's only on the 30th percentile now and not big at all. Ohhhhh kay, sorry didn't think I was suggesting that your baby was a sumo wrestler but hey, whatever.

Incidentally why is it so wrong to say that a female baby is a "big strong girl". Ever try saying that one? It's like you're saying "hey I've just noticed that your daughter is a big fat dyke. I can see that she's a breath away from letting her body hair get to unflattering lengths and start listening to angry girl rock" I thought, growing was supposed to be a good thing! Maybe not in girls.

In other news concerning dirty femmo stuff, I was intrigued by a column in Sunday's Age by Angela Pippos "What's Wrong with Being a Fashionista Feminist Anyway?" where she addresses just how diverse feminists are in this era. She also says

I'm a feminist. Was that so hard?
It's really not a big deal. I simply believe that women should be given the same opportunities as men. Throw me in in the river and see if I float. It's hardly radical but, in my experience, any mention of the "f" word in male company can bring on a type of behaviour often seen in a David Attenborough documentary, followed by a sudden attack of mundane questioning".

She goes on to list a few examples of questioning she is immediately dealt by affronted men "Do you expect men to open doors for you?" "Do you want a man to pay for dinner on a first date?" etc. You know the typical questions asked of femnos that makes everyone want to stab their eyes out. What really interests me about her column is the underlying question for me about feminism. Why is it still a dirty word? Yes, I'm being serious. In all my years of being a feminist I've never met one who hates men. I've never met one who burns her bra. I've never met one who spends all night planing to picket the local men's club or any of the other stereotypes that are prescribed to so called ..here is comes "feminazis". Do I know lesbian femmos? Of course. Does that mean ALL feminists are gay? Do I know femmos who are frustrated by the status quo and frustrated by some perceptions perpetrated by men. Hell yes, does that mean that they are frustrated with men in general? Pssssh, I don't think so. I hate that type of generalising of feminists that happens but actually has little grounds in reality.

I don't know about you but when I hear the old "you're a man hater" (often comes in a feminist type entry) and it's been written here on this journal as well me reading it on so many other feminist blogs that I've lost count - I often think that the person writing it either has shit for brains, doesn't actually KNOW any feminists or rather...doesn't KNOW any women AT ALL or that maybe..just maybe THEY don't really like women all that much themselves, or feel threatened by them expressing an opinion - whatever. The fact that I *am* a feminist and I don't actually know ANY feminists who hate men NOR do I hate them myself sort of makes me wonder why on earth that's a phrase that is so easily thrown around by others when confronted with someone who claims to be a feminist? I mean I always hear about these so-called feminists who are supposed to hate men, usually it comes in the form of "yeah I know a feminist who hates men" but you know..it's sort of like an urban myth to me. Have you heard the one about the lady with the boil on her face that exploded and 50 tiny spiders came out? Yeah, that common. If anything feminists have so much problem in appearing a unified group with unifying beliefs in the first place that *men* aren't even the issue. It's women and what women think that is more of an issue.

Perhaps it's that feminist discourse is centered around the fact that things are not quite right in the world of woman. That there are certain issues that affect our gender and those issues maybe be life threatening or indeed socially confining to women. Maybe there's some resentment too, that women get the focus for this type of discourse? The fact that they are discussed might be a little too confronting for some people and confused with hate - when really it's not about hate at all, it's about getting answers and asking WHY does this happen to women? Is that a wrong question to ask? I certainly don't think so. It does NOT negate the FACT that things happen to men too and that is an important point. That in fact we are all individuals who have shit happen to us at some stage or another and that there are issues for men that are just as concerning that in fact SHOULD be discussed too. They should be discussed by the same people that are complaining that are sick of hearing about women's issues and say that yeah, men have issues too can't you see that? Well, dude, discuss away! Indeed, asking why the world is a certain way is not about hating anyone. It's about trying to get answers about how things are and perhaps start discourse that will affect change. One can only hope anyway.

I know that discussions about rape, prostitution, maternity leave and domestic violence gets a lot of backs up, especially with men but the fact of the matter is that these things DO happen and they DO happen mostly to women and the fact that we make up more than half the population means that it's something that everyone should be worried about. These are things that SHOULD be discussed widely and without refrain. It happens and the fact that it happens disturbingly often to one gender over another is a cause for feminist discourse. Live with it! I've read so many "anti-feminist" blogs (mostly written by anonymous people with anonymous comments - just goes to show doesn't it?) that will reference one article where a woman has beaten her husband in a show of domestic violence. Yes it happens and this is horrible. I don't want to diminish that - but the anti-feminist blogger will then say (and this happens in almost 100 percent of all anti-feminist bloggers) something along the lines of "and now you see why I refuse to get involved with all women. Women are evil etc etc". This is in direct opposition to most feminist blogs which takes issue on women's issues in society and how that affects us and in fact are a celebration of female achievement in the arts and culture. They are positive places that actually reserve any condensation of men to specific examples ie: THIS MAN said something not quite right about women. THIS MAN is wrong. Whereas the anti-feminist blogs that I've read are all about generalising one act to mean *all* women and being defensive about it too. Perhaps I've yet to come across a anti-feminist blog that is about being male positive instead of female negative. I'm know that there are some feminist blogs that really ARE venomous about a lot of things too, including men but definitely not the popular ones. The popular feminist blogs are generally very political places that invite discussion by men and indeed a lot of them have a dedicated male following too.

For the record I have read many male written gender positive blogs that have nothing to do with anti-feminism - they don't shy away from bringing up issues that are specific to men either! They are great and there should be more of them. They write about male and female issues with sex, violence and everything in between and they are so great because they don't fall into that age old trap of 'what I admire about women is their breasts, bum, legs, they look beautiful, they smell beautiful' - which is quite typical in what DOES tend to get written about women from a male perspective. I mean that kind of blog is great and all but male blogs that go beyond that REALLY need to be applauded for being so great - and they're not great because I agree with them, because I don't always, they're great because they are truthful without falling into "all feminists are bitches" type rhetoric.

Considering that not all feminists are the same, nor do any of the old stereotypes stand up why is it that the F-word is still a dirty one?

Anyway, on to Musical Monday in this haphazard post of mine. Of course, let's just complete the entry with a reference to Kat Bjelland; an artist I'm pretty much so in awe of I can't quite figure out the right words. She looks like an angel but has the voice of a terrifying demon. That's the best I can come up with. In the early days she cavorted around with Courtney Love and Jennifer Finch experimenting in a couple of bands before all went their separate ways and all became highly influential artists in their own right, with their own bands. I sigh here as I make the distinction and say they were 'female centered' bands - grrl rock if you will. Why? Oh because I've featured many, many bands who have all male members and sing about manly things but never distinguished them by saying 'all male' or 'male centered'. It's funny how these distinctions work in rock for women as opposed to men but there you have it.

Babes in Toyland had been around for a good many years before I got into them. I was completely taken with Kat Bjelland and in particular her rock operatic meets screaming banshee type singing voice.

She was a cheerleader in high school by the way.

A cheerleader AND a dirty femmo too. Oh my god, is your mind about to explode? Yes, it's true, us dirty femmos aren't just one type of person. I guess, that was my whole point. Mother's can be feminists. Hot girls can be feminists. Women who love men can be feminists. Scientists can be feminists. Radio personalities can be feminists. Men can be feminists. Cheerleaders can be feminists. It's not just one type of person. And for the record I've read many a comment implying that those people mentioned above CAN'T be feminists - like mum's can't be feminists. ha! Well I'm linking right here to a GREAT entry by a femmo mum who outlines some great points about how to raise your daughter a feminist and you know what? The initial question about 'how do I raise my daughter a feminist?' came from a bloke. How's that for breaking down a few barriers. Yes folks, it's not actually about man hating. Sorry to disappoint - on with the music.

Bruise Violet - Babes In Toyland (apparently not about Courtney Love..but I doubt it! lol).



Sweet 69 - Babes in Toyland

Labels: babies, dirty femmo, girls and women, messy women, musical monday, real women, vicious women, what women want, why, why do people get so touchy when it comes to talking about these things?, women

posted by M at 4:45 pm 23 comments

What with all the political hoopla going on in Oz-land at the moment I thought I'd turn my attention to politics in music. By some strange coincidence this afternoon I was listening to drive time radio where Aussie musician Ben Lee was being interviewed about this very thing. Maybe he's not the best authority but he's young, he's outspoken and he's a musician - okay maybe he IS the best authority. He said that art and politics were inextricably linked, but that good political music will first and foremost appeal to the compassion within people and that people who have compassion in their hearts WILL vote accordingly: They WILL vote to aid education and health, they WILL vote for measures to help the environment, they WILL NOT vote for war etc - Compassionate people will vote for compassionate causes. It's a loaded statement but you know, I can't fault it. It's true, our real responsibilities are in building a future that goes beyond us - trusting that will happen is the hard bit - trusting that pouring money into money pits such as education and health will have good results is hard. Accepting that losing money will eventually help us be better people, smarter people, healthier people is difficult but is it worth it?. For me, no question, yes, yes, yes and I don't quite understand any other way to build a stable future to tell you the truth.

Anyway, I digress - there are people who will disagree with politics and art mixing but I'm not one of them. I like my art a tad controversial - not all my art of course - some of it I love purely for it's aesthetic value. Obviously disco gives me nothing in terms of thought but damn those dance beats get me every time. Other music I love purely because it brings up a question or challenges the way things are. I think music is an extremely powerful platform to which people can use to have their say. Have a look at gospel and old slave music and the importance it has in those cultures. What about how the Aboriginal people told their history through art and music? It's powerful. Looking through history you'd be hard pressed to find a time when politics and music were not linked in some way. Classical music is often likened to specific political figures. There were many war propoganda songs in the early 20th Century and then as time went on we grew into folk, punk and anarchist, riot grrl, grunge and music which generally had a social conscience. It's always been around.

The question keeps getting asked though: Are musicians qualified to make political statements?

Well, it seems to me we're stepping down a tretcherous road if we're saying that only certain kinds of people get to speak their mind while others have to shut up. So yes, IMO they are qualified. They are qualified simply because they are human, they live in society and they have an opinion. By that token I think that anyone with a voice is qualified to have their say - even the people I (or you) don't agree with. Hell, I might disagree quite strongly and loudly but that's the point in a society that advocates free speech - you're allowed to do that, it's encouraged even. Guess what? Life isn't one big tea party where everyone chews like they have a secret and smiles sweetly over Turkish Delight. Life is messy and political and more importantly in our own hands. I really do believe that people not standing up for their beliefs and the beliefs of others who have no voice has resulted in a society that is too scared to change. Change is important for (r)evolution and if no one is saying anything then you can bet we're all going to be stuck in a rut for a while yet. It amazes me, the amount of people who do not advocate passivity in their personal life but are extremely passive when it comes to speaking out on political matters. Things don't change on their own, we have to change them.

So yes, I do think that musicians are qualified to have their say - they also speak to an audience that the politicians and academics do not - that is youth. Youth are oft forgotten when it comes to politics - swept under the carpet because they are too young to vote and spend and there fore not seen as important to include in the debate. I beg to differ - they are the most important resource we have. They'll also be running the nursing homes we'll be living in, so you know..we'd better be nice.

The other reason why I enjoy the odd political song is that musicians are artists and there is integrity in standing by the art you create that goes far beyond it being "just a job". Why can I listen to a piece of music and find it more relevant than some kind of political debate on the television? Well, because said artist has put their heart and soul into the things I listen to. No I don't give the same consideration to music that is mass produced, fuck no, that has little soul. I might like elements of that kind of music but not the message. So unless an artist is being held under the thumb of an overly inflated conservative record label (or are created BY a label) they can say whatever the fuck they want. I LOVE that. There's a reason we don't trust politicians - they never say what they mean - ever. They also lie to get votes. Musicians don't have to do this - not if they're writing their own music (ie: not Milli Vanilli). There's enough variety in the music industry to sustain the boy bands who say nothing AS WELL AS the Dixie Chicks, who haven't stopped talking for years now and that's good. There's something for everyone. I know that when I listen to a piece of music I'm listening to an opinion that I can either take or leave - I don't have to like it and if I don't I can go elsewhere - but if someone takes the time to say it then good on them.

However, what happens when musicians move into politics? Do they maintain their political integrity?

Peter Garrett - Aussie muso turned politician can be used as an example. I can't think of any other mainstream musician apart from perhaps Bob Dylan in the early days and Eddie Vedder during the grunge era who have been more outspoken and explicit in their political ideologies. Whether you agree with their political musings or not, Midnight Oil were an amazing band and an Australian institution - you'd be hard pressed to find anyone who would disagree with that. I was excited when Peter Garrett first announced his political candidacy because I thought he would immediately stir things up - but this wasn't to be. Politics means existing inside a box where one has to conduct themselves in a certain way. We live in an era of political conservatism - even the liberal left aren't as left leaning as they used to be. People are scared to say what they think and unfortunately (maybe ironically) it's the politicians who have to zip it most of all.

Rock musicians don't live by these constricting rules, they can be as liberal or conservative as they like. They can even live a rather unclean type of lifestyle and still say what they want. Maybe we take what they say with a grain of salt but that's okay too - context does matter. I'd be less likely to agree with someone who was coked out for most of their career than someone who was clean but anyway the point is both musician and politician have a ready audience. Who would you rather listen to though? Liar, activist or artist? Peter Garrett may be pushing his agenda through other avenues now - there's a lot to be said for the act of subversion - moving with the mainstream while slowly chipping a secret tunnel and I support that too - but I have to say: I miss the old Peter Garrett, wonky dancing and all.

Not all musical artists are explicit though - not everyone is a Billy Bragg or Bikini Kill. Musical artists have been lending themselves to causes for many years now in the form of, Live 8, Live Aid, Rock the Vote, Free Tibet, RAIN, Race Rights, the surf rider foundation, live earth, United Farm Workers, earth first, animal rights, Sweet Relief, Home Alive and so many more. They are out there, even if they don't hold interviews that project an explicit point of view.

Following are a few of my favourite songs which have a political edge. What are your favourite political songs and why (if any)?

Masters of War - Bob Dylan (This song is an explicit reminder of exactly how war works: Top down - and who loses: the plebs. The song was written in the early 60s and every single word is still relevant today. Scary.).

stand out lyrics:

Like Judas of old
You lie and deceive
A world war can be won
You want me to believe
But I see through your eyes
And I see through your brain
Like I see through the water
That runs down my drain





The Message - Grandmaster Flash and the furious five (This is an important song and has been much referenced by other artists through the years. Deals with the struggles of being black in a ghetto neighbourhood in the US. Something tells me not that much has changed).

standout lyrics:
Bill collectors they ring my phone
And scare my wife when I'm not home
Got a bum education, double-digit inflation
Cant take the train to the job, theres a strike
At the station
Me on King Kong standin' on my back
Can't stop to turn around, broke my sacroiliac
Midrange, migraine, cancered membrane
Sometimes I think I'm going insane, I swear I might
Hijack a plane!

Don't push me, cause I'm close to the edge
I'm trying not to loose my head



21st Century Digital Boy - Bad Religion (Social commentary on consumerist society that has no soul - with particular regard to how baby boomers have fucked things up for their Gen X/Y offspring. You know...typical Bad Religion music :P)

Stand out lyrics:
Cuz I'm a 21st century digital boy
I don't know how to live but I've got a lot of toys
My daddy's a lazy middle class intellectual
My mommy's on valium, so ineffectual





Blue Sky Mine - Midnight Oil (Miners and visitors to CSR mines in WA exposed to lethal levels of Blue Asbestos. The company continued to act negligently even after health warnings - people are still dying today and many will continue to die in the future from fatal illnesses as a direct result of this exposure. The song gave voice to many people who didn't - and still don't - have a voice).

stand out lyrics:

The candy store paupers lie to the share holders
They're crossing their fingers they pay the truth makers
The balance sheet is breaking up the sky
So I'm caught at the junction still waiting for medicine
The sweat of my brow keeps on feeding the engine
Hope the crumbs in my pocket can keep me for another night
And if the blue sky mining company wont come to my rescue
If the sugar refining company wont save me
Who's gonna save me?

Blue Sky Mine - Midnight Oil

Dear God - XTC (It's been described as an Atheist's anthem. It's an incredibly brave song - and also a wonderful piece of music in its own right).

stand out lyrics
Did you make disease, and the diamond blue?
Did you make mankind after we made you?
And the devil too

Dear God - XTC

Double Dare Ya - Bikini Kill (Kathleen Hanna was pretty much responsible for the riot grrl feminist movement of the 90s. She started her zines and band as a reaction to the rampant sexism going on in punk music at the time. Ian MacKaye (punk god) was supportive of this venture and engineered some of BK's stuff. Kathleen Hanna is hated and loved at the same time, which seems to happen a lot to women who speak out. She screams, she swears and for a while there she wore a ski mask during her performances so you couldn't even see her face. She does not beat around the bush - she's very outspoken and thank fuck for that. How often do you see girls really rocking it like boys, potty mouth and all? Not in the mainstream that's for sure. There's a lot of girls in skimpy bikini type outfits though - hence - Bikini Kill. Definitely not pretty music).

stand out lyrics:
Hey girlfriend
I got a proposition goes something like this:
Dare ya to do what you want
Dare ya to be who you will
Dare ya to cry right outloud
"You get so emotional baby"

Double dare ya, double dare ya, double dare ya
Girl fuckin friend yeah

Double Dare Ya - Bikini Kill

Labels: dirty femmo, musical monday, political musings, pop culture, voice, why do people get so touchy when it comes to talking about these things?

posted by M at 12:47 am 23 comments

Do we have a soul?

Does it go to heaven?

Does it stay and look out for those who are left behind?

Is it that nothing happens- your body dies and there is nothing more to say?

Do you believe in ghosts? Do you believe in spirits?

Do you believe that all we see is what we are and nothing more?

Is there a God? What is she like?

What do you think happens after you die?


When someone you know actually dies - these questions are not just about answering a theory. These questions become part of your emotional healing - or ruin. Now, it's personal, as they say. Personal is a lot different from theoretical, though perhaps they can have a civilised lunch if they remember to tuck their egos into their handbags first.

After said loved one dies you start to wonder if they're looking out for you. Maybe you felt something, maybe you know something, maybe it's all in your head - maybe not. You wonder if they disappeared with a plop into thin air like a bubble that was suddenly pricked and you wonder if that is true then whether anything at all matters. Maybe 14 years later, you're still wondering.

If someone said 'I spoke to your dead [...] the other day - this is what they said' - would you believe them? And if you did believe them...then what?

Labels: 14th aniversary, death, personal, questions, why do people get so touchy when it comes to talking about these things?, wonderings

posted by M at 7:48 pm 14 comments