[Miscellany]
Tuesday, May 27, 2014
You
I'm looking at you and I'm wondering how you slipped through the cracks. I'm wondering how you can cope at * years old; daily, with what most people never know until they're an adult. It's a horrible realisation to know that adults can and will let you down. Just to know this is a slap in the face. To expect it as normal is debilitating to the human soul. To know it as your reality is beyond words.
You deal with it daily though and don't think I don't know how you cope. Oh, I know. I see it every day. I see it in the way you move in your seat. I see it in the words you ignore - those both harsh and full of praise. I notice the way you lash out when others wrong you; desperately trying to cling to that part of you that is still a little hopeful and protect it. I understand the parallel universe you've created to exist alongside this real one and I also know that reality is a dicey concept right now anyway. I know you slip in and out as you need to. I know how protective you are of the world you've created and I know why. I know how comforting that world is. I know how essential it is. I know you need it. I think you're amazing for having concocted this space for yourself. You've shown at * what most adults never have to do - that is to completely protect yourself from all sides; from all attacks; from everything. It's unfair that you have to and they never do. Most will never, ever, EVER understand because they never, ever, EVER had to deal. Lucky them. They'll be the people who will tell you to look on the bright side. Nice.
You haven't learnt yet how to ask why and when you do that will be yet another hard pill to swallow because there won't be an answer that won't come pointing back at you; yet another little something to deal with. I understand from that look you give me that you are completely resigned to this way of being. This is your reality and mate, you are doing a magnificent job of using absolutely every resource you have to survive it. And you are surviving but it won't help you in this reality; the reality that isn't all that dicey for everybody else. In this reality you are barely treading water; slowly sinking into quicksand; gasping for Ventolin; sawing logs with a butter knife. I recognise this.
I think about you a lot. I think about you when everyone else is long gone. I think about you when I should be thinking about myself but I have no answers. I don't want to be yet another adult who fails you; like all of us have done so far. As I sit here for yet another night at my desk with my head in my hands, trying desperately to make a bridge between us that won't fall down, I know that I have failed you too. I see the you, who you really are and I admire that person and can't think of a more imaginative, clever, resourceful kid and on top of all of that I completely understand. I do. I guess that's what makes it harder but in the end, despite all of this I'm just another adult and just another person who will fail you in the end and it's killing me.
You deal with it daily though and don't think I don't know how you cope. Oh, I know. I see it every day. I see it in the way you move in your seat. I see it in the words you ignore - those both harsh and full of praise. I notice the way you lash out when others wrong you; desperately trying to cling to that part of you that is still a little hopeful and protect it. I understand the parallel universe you've created to exist alongside this real one and I also know that reality is a dicey concept right now anyway. I know you slip in and out as you need to. I know how protective you are of the world you've created and I know why. I know how comforting that world is. I know how essential it is. I know you need it. I think you're amazing for having concocted this space for yourself. You've shown at * what most adults never have to do - that is to completely protect yourself from all sides; from all attacks; from everything. It's unfair that you have to and they never do. Most will never, ever, EVER understand because they never, ever, EVER had to deal. Lucky them. They'll be the people who will tell you to look on the bright side. Nice.
You haven't learnt yet how to ask why and when you do that will be yet another hard pill to swallow because there won't be an answer that won't come pointing back at you; yet another little something to deal with. I understand from that look you give me that you are completely resigned to this way of being. This is your reality and mate, you are doing a magnificent job of using absolutely every resource you have to survive it. And you are surviving but it won't help you in this reality; the reality that isn't all that dicey for everybody else. In this reality you are barely treading water; slowly sinking into quicksand; gasping for Ventolin; sawing logs with a butter knife. I recognise this.
I think about you a lot. I think about you when everyone else is long gone. I think about you when I should be thinking about myself but I have no answers. I don't want to be yet another adult who fails you; like all of us have done so far. As I sit here for yet another night at my desk with my head in my hands, trying desperately to make a bridge between us that won't fall down, I know that I have failed you too. I see the you, who you really are and I admire that person and can't think of a more imaginative, clever, resourceful kid and on top of all of that I completely understand. I do. I guess that's what makes it harder but in the end, despite all of this I'm just another adult and just another person who will fail you in the end and it's killing me.
Labels: kids, stressed teachers, teacher dramas, teaching, teaching the teacher, work
Thursday, August 08, 2013
Awkward
My boss called me into her office the other day wanting to change the way we assess in the curriculum area that I am a leader of. Of course, I'm being nice... she didn't want to change the way we assess, she had already made that decision without consulting me. Rather, she wanted to tell me that in fact we weren't going to use the assessment tool that I had painstakingly put together (and had been using at the school until now..) and instead we were now to use an online annotated assessment sample instead.
I don't have a problem in changing things up at all, but if I'm leading a curriculum area I want to make that decision because my decision will be based on evidence and knowledge rather than oh... a whim. I'd also like to be consulted about it, even if it's just for show.
So now, I have to make the presentation tomorrow that is going to lead our staff into using this online tool for our assessment. Here lies the problem: I have been looking at this online assessment sample for a few days now and it doesn't marry nicely or neatly enough to actually inform our assessment in any real or easy way. For instance if child A is in Grade 1 but working at a Grade 3 level I want to be able to go to the assessment sample at grade 3 and compare that to what Child A is doing, if they measure up I can start to make an informed judgement about moving Child A's reporting mark up to that level too. The problem with the new assessment tool is that there is no common element between Levels. I can't go up and down levels because there is no common assessment task between levels for me to compare to.
After the presentation the staff will have a workshop where the take children and assess them using the online tool. It's not going to work. You can't do it.
So how do I present this knee slappingly hilarious idea without looking completely incompetent while at the same time maintaining authority and face and NOT being derogatory towards the boss for having such a dumb idea?
Labels: boss, questions, school, stressed teachers, teacher dramas, teaching, teaching the teacher
Saturday, August 03, 2013
Shit
The shift in Education Leadership lately has been towards a business model of management. I've never worked in an office but I've seen The Office and as far as I can comprehend the business model basically consists of a complete tosser at the top who has no idea what they are doing/might be good at managing one thing, middle management who don't care and the plebs who do all the important stuff while stealing the highlighters when no one is looking. It's a money driven system with an agenda of maintaining or expanding a commodity.
In teaching, it is ridiculous to think of learning and students as a commodity. A commodity implies that there is a direct return on an investment, which is all well and good in theory except that the business world is notoriously impatient and only wants results in one form (economics). Getting an economic return on the student investment will probably not be evident for 30-50 years if something was put in place today. This is too long for a political party to wait in order to brag about their effectiveness in government. Despite allegations to the contrary I honestly do no believe any of the major political parties want to promote anything that won't show a result within their term of governing. Is this cynical of me? It's only true. Furthermore isn't the return we actually want to see is a healthy, happy community of people who are life long learners and critical thinkers? Isn't THAT the point? Oh wait, that's not the same as money.. okay.
When compared to the business model the current school model of leadership has some similarities particularly in that there is also a complete tosser at the top, middle management who don't care and plebs. However while an office pleb has only a small level of authority, a school "pleb" gets to be King of the Castle in their own classroom. They are the authority in a very real way. This means that in order to have effective leadership of staff from the top, you absolutely need to make sure that at the bottom line what is being taught in the classroom is always at very best standard possible. Therefore f you don't have excellent curriculum knowledge from the top then a few plebby teachers can ruin the stability of the school. A shitty teacher = shitty parents = shitty school.
In my view, good leadership in schools comes not from economics but from exclusively employing exemplary, inspiring teachers with excellent knowledge of curriculum for the top jobs. Yes, sure economics is important, as is being able to work out timetables and the like but these things can be learnt on the job (and let's face it, don't we all know trained monkeys who are able to work out timetables and meet with the accountant every 3 months?)
My view of leadership is not exactly shared by the Department of Education. They speak of leading from experience and exemplary teaching but in fact the opposite is what is being pushed into leadership now. Those on the road to leadership these days are groomed by Department heads more interested in management than Leadership. There's a difference. The moment schools become "managed" by business graduates who have an interest in economics rather than knowing exactly how to teach and lead curriculum is the moment schools lose out.
In my opinion a good school has personable managers, a healthy budget in surplus with excellent teachers who carry the load and get the job done. An excellent school has a leadership team that could walk into any classroom and teach or help teachers plan a lesson in a way that inspires another teacher to be better at their job. There is no surplus in the budget (perhaps just a rainy day fund) because the budget is used for resources, professional development and mentoring and to pay exemplary teachers extra money for excellent work and Leadership have a good idea of what the needs of staff and students are.
We are moving away from a model of excellent and moving towards 'good'. This is horrific in my eyes. I can see it happening right now in my place of work. The latest promotion to a very senior leadership role at the school is a manager and not a leader and what is the most horrifying is that I know that this was desirable from the perspective of the school.
My idealism is crushed and my heart breaks for the kids and for the good teachers out there in Education. We are heading down a very bad road by treating schools as companies or businesses. Hiring a trained monkey may seem like a good economic choice but we are not in the business of economics. We are in the business of learning and learning just happens to be a money pit politically speaking. The thing is I don't care about the politics of it, I'm all about connecting the dots here.
If we hire trained monkeys at the top then what exactly do we expect is going to come out at the bottom?
Labels: a case of the leader not wanting to be lead, boss, education, leaders of the world they are, new leader, school, stressed teachers, teacher dramas, teaching, teaching the teacher
Tuesday, April 22, 2008
Australia's Next Top Ana
* Today I was doing a writing activity with a few children in my grade. We were looking at a photo of a girl with her dog and using that as a jumping off point to discuss pets. One boy in the group said that he wasn't allowed to have a dog. I asked why and he said that his grandpa said no to the whole thing "because dogs don't live as long as humans". I thought it was a beautiful example of the different ways in which people think. It was just so logical and true. I'm not saying it was fair or right but just that it was so true. You could tell that the other children in this group had never heard that kind of reasoning before. They only saw that their dog would lick them and play with them.
I guess one can look at things in two ways - the immediate and the long term. Some people plan ahead and that might give them better stead in some areas but hold them back in other areas. Others will always live for now, which is exciting but doesn't always take you where you want to go.
In other news, Grandpa always makes this child come in at the end of every day and bow to me - which I think is both hilarious and disturbing. I adore this child to no end. He's just the BEST kid, but if he keeps on bowing I have a feeling that he's going to come back one day as an adult and kill me dead.
* The other day I had a conversation about childbirth that had a twist - it was all about the husband. In one story - during childbirth, the father was so traumatised by the whole act that he could do nothing more than stand in the corner rigidly, rather like a human lamp post - not saying anything, not looking at anything, not hearing anything. The midwife went ballistic on him and started screaming "You go pet your wife! PET HER! YOU SAY SOMETHING NICE TO YOUR WIFE, SHE'S GIVING BIRTH!" He wouldn't move for the whole labour, and only "came to" after the child was born. It happens every time apparently. Not quite sure why you'd make the man go through it again and again if he was going to be like that.
I have heard of men whom, after witnessing the birth of their child are NOT in a hurry to go through it again. I guess the lack of control you have in the whole situation would be incredibly stressful. Men don't have the benefit of that hormone that supposedly takes away the "evil memories" as it happens for the mother. I still doubt an existence of such a hormone. How can someone forget the pain of something so unnatural and horrific? Then again, most of us do go back to go through it countless times so maybe there is something in it.
* I don't watch a lot of television but I admit what I do watch is the gutter trash of the televisual realm. I love trashy TV - it's not even a guilty pleasure. It's just a pleasure. So as you can probably guess tonight I was glued to the tele for premiere of the new season of Australia's Next Top Model. I'm a sucker for this shit. I'm already in love with the geeky girl Belinda who can hardly stand up without toppling over, or bumping into something. She's quirky and not bitchy in the least. Every other girl has "bitch" tattooed over their face of course. Is it just that they edit these shows to be like this, or is it that the more beautiful a woman is the bitchier she is, by nurture? Is it because they don't *have* to be nice - and they will still get what they want, regardless of personality that makes them bitchier? There is no question that all the girls on the show are stunning - the two that are quirky/clever are less bitchy than the rest however. If beauty makes a girl bitchy, does being beautiful make a man bitchy too? Or is it that having money makes a man bitchy instead? What is the line that men and women must cross before they become bitchy?** I know a girl who was a model (oh lord, STUNNING!) but she's the nicest girl that ever lived. Of course, she's also incredibly clever and driven in her chosen career so she fits into that "other" category of a girl who has something else to her. She's given up on modeling now though and will never go back, she hated the bitchiness inherent in the field and would be the first person to confirm about beauty = bitchiness. What makes people bitchy?
* Speaking of ANTM, I know that it's customary for models to be anorexic however does anyone else find it disturbing to hear the judges tell waifs that they still have to lose weight? I understand that this is just how the industry is, but since I have the televisual habits of a 15 year old girl I also know that if I'm watching Top Model then of course there are bazillions of other teens watching it too. Call me crazy but the last thing impressionable teens need is yet another public forum telling them that they are too fat. The Biggest Loser people need to lose weight. Models, not so much. Why can't they starve themselves behind closed toilet doors instead like we all expect them to instead of being 6 foot tall and weighing 45 kilos and STILL being though of as too fat out in the open for us all to hear? Our society has an obsession with weight! We're completely consumed by it. Fat people are too fat. Skinny people are too fat. People in the normal range are too fat. No one is ever just perfect the way they are. It's crazy.
** yeah, yeah I understand that not all beautiful men or women are bitchy and yes I understand that not all men or women with money are bitchy either. As always, I'm talking *many* not *all*.
I guess one can look at things in two ways - the immediate and the long term. Some people plan ahead and that might give them better stead in some areas but hold them back in other areas. Others will always live for now, which is exciting but doesn't always take you where you want to go.
In other news, Grandpa always makes this child come in at the end of every day and bow to me - which I think is both hilarious and disturbing. I adore this child to no end. He's just the BEST kid, but if he keeps on bowing I have a feeling that he's going to come back one day as an adult and kill me dead.
* The other day I had a conversation about childbirth that had a twist - it was all about the husband. In one story - during childbirth, the father was so traumatised by the whole act that he could do nothing more than stand in the corner rigidly, rather like a human lamp post - not saying anything, not looking at anything, not hearing anything. The midwife went ballistic on him and started screaming "You go pet your wife! PET HER! YOU SAY SOMETHING NICE TO YOUR WIFE, SHE'S GIVING BIRTH!" He wouldn't move for the whole labour, and only "came to" after the child was born. It happens every time apparently. Not quite sure why you'd make the man go through it again and again if he was going to be like that.
I have heard of men whom, after witnessing the birth of their child are NOT in a hurry to go through it again. I guess the lack of control you have in the whole situation would be incredibly stressful. Men don't have the benefit of that hormone that supposedly takes away the "evil memories" as it happens for the mother. I still doubt an existence of such a hormone. How can someone forget the pain of something so unnatural and horrific? Then again, most of us do go back to go through it countless times so maybe there is something in it.
* I don't watch a lot of television but I admit what I do watch is the gutter trash of the televisual realm. I love trashy TV - it's not even a guilty pleasure. It's just a pleasure. So as you can probably guess tonight I was glued to the tele for premiere of the new season of Australia's Next Top Model. I'm a sucker for this shit. I'm already in love with the geeky girl Belinda who can hardly stand up without toppling over, or bumping into something. She's quirky and not bitchy in the least. Every other girl has "bitch" tattooed over their face of course. Is it just that they edit these shows to be like this, or is it that the more beautiful a woman is the bitchier she is, by nurture? Is it because they don't *have* to be nice - and they will still get what they want, regardless of personality that makes them bitchier? There is no question that all the girls on the show are stunning - the two that are quirky/clever are less bitchy than the rest however. If beauty makes a girl bitchy, does being beautiful make a man bitchy too? Or is it that having money makes a man bitchy instead? What is the line that men and women must cross before they become bitchy?** I know a girl who was a model (oh lord, STUNNING!) but she's the nicest girl that ever lived. Of course, she's also incredibly clever and driven in her chosen career so she fits into that "other" category of a girl who has something else to her. She's given up on modeling now though and will never go back, she hated the bitchiness inherent in the field and would be the first person to confirm about beauty = bitchiness. What makes people bitchy?
* Speaking of ANTM, I know that it's customary for models to be anorexic however does anyone else find it disturbing to hear the judges tell waifs that they still have to lose weight? I understand that this is just how the industry is, but since I have the televisual habits of a 15 year old girl I also know that if I'm watching Top Model then of course there are bazillions of other teens watching it too. Call me crazy but the last thing impressionable teens need is yet another public forum telling them that they are too fat. The Biggest Loser people need to lose weight. Models, not so much. Why can't they starve themselves behind closed toilet doors instead like we all expect them to instead of being 6 foot tall and weighing 45 kilos and STILL being though of as too fat out in the open for us all to hear? Our society has an obsession with weight! We're completely consumed by it. Fat people are too fat. Skinny people are too fat. People in the normal range are too fat. No one is ever just perfect the way they are. It's crazy.
** yeah, yeah I understand that not all beautiful men or women are bitchy and yes I understand that not all men or women with money are bitchy either. As always, I'm talking *many* not *all*.
Labels: babies, crap reality tele, models, teaching, teaching the teacher, TV, weight
Monday, February 18, 2008
can't quite keep thoughts straight
Settling back into classroom teaching has been difficult. Getting through a day in a classroom is much easier than getting through a day in the AR but teaching the preps is just out of this world: hard. Most of them don't know their letters, or sounds or even how to write their names properly (ie; not backwards). Can you imagine how inundated I am by requests for help whenever we do ANY activity? It's crazy I tell ya.
Anyway, I'm coming home from work each night mentally and physically exhausted and I think as a consequence of this and reading that Tom Cruise biog by Andrew Morton I've been having some weird dreams. Last night probably took the cake as weirdo horrific dream of the year. Picture this - Germany 1942 - an underground secret railroad. I've traveled back in time in order to prepare for a school excursion (??) and find myself in the middle of a finely orchestrated escape attempt by Jewish people out of the country and away from the extermination camps. The dark dingy caves are packed with groups of whispering people who are scared for their lives. Suddenly we are ambushed by armies of soldiers and people are being brutally murdered all around me. I am lost in the crowd, confused about whether my fate is sealed or not. I wake before I die - almost prying my own eyes open and searching for some sort of recognition in the shadows in dark of my bedroom. I much preferred it when I was dreaming of men with strong lips. Andrew Morton with his mention of Nazi Germany and Scientology in the same sentence has a lot to answer for.
Earlier this week Scorpy was in an injury at work. A friend from work updated his blog in order to inform his readers about what was going on with Scorps. Hopefully all will be okay but this got me thinking about what I'd do if something happened to me. Who would I get to update and indeed would I even want to? Also there is the question of if I did - what would said trusted friend think of me after they had updated the blog? Would they be surprised? Would they be embarrassed for me? Would they think I was an idiot or would they discover something in me that they hadn't really contemplated before? I honestly don't know.
Scorpy's mate made the comment about his writing:
Which made me think about how we are all perceived in life versus in blog land and indeed how complex we are as characters both on the street and in our own heads. I have been doing this for long enough to realise that everything is not what it seems when it comes to most characters, but I was to qualify that statement by saying I'm NOT talking about lying here. I mean - people explore real parts of themselves on their blog which may or may not be featured centre stage in real life. For instance, one person may come across as crass or hopeless or always on the verge of being a complete nutbag but in real life this may also be true, it's certainly not all of themselves, like it may be in a blog.
We are not one dimensional. So why is it so hard to reconcile all of those parts of ourselves so that we are always what we seem, in ALL facets of our lives?
Maybe those real life men's men - blokey blokes - explore a more "deep" side on their blog because they can't quite get to exposing that side of themselves (for whatever reason) in real life. I wonder why not? Do we (both men and women) really crucify men who express themselves eloquently in real life or is this a myth perpetuated by the gay phobia and a degradation of the "thinker" in the sports pages of every tabloid newspaper out there? Are men who write in the first place a bit more sensitive anyway and that's why this dichotomy of blokey guy on the outside, superhero deep guy on the blogside (made up word) exists?
If you were in an accident and your friend read your blog would they be surprised by reading a different person to who they really knew?
Why?
How?
Thinking music - one of my favourites (of course)
Get Off - The Dandy Warhols
Anyway, I'm coming home from work each night mentally and physically exhausted and I think as a consequence of this and reading that Tom Cruise biog by Andrew Morton I've been having some weird dreams. Last night probably took the cake as weirdo horrific dream of the year. Picture this - Germany 1942 - an underground secret railroad. I've traveled back in time in order to prepare for a school excursion (??) and find myself in the middle of a finely orchestrated escape attempt by Jewish people out of the country and away from the extermination camps. The dark dingy caves are packed with groups of whispering people who are scared for their lives. Suddenly we are ambushed by armies of soldiers and people are being brutally murdered all around me. I am lost in the crowd, confused about whether my fate is sealed or not. I wake before I die - almost prying my own eyes open and searching for some sort of recognition in the shadows in dark of my bedroom. I much preferred it when I was dreaming of men with strong lips. Andrew Morton with his mention of Nazi Germany and Scientology in the same sentence has a lot to answer for.
Earlier this week Scorpy was in an injury at work. A friend from work updated his blog in order to inform his readers about what was going on with Scorps. Hopefully all will be okay but this got me thinking about what I'd do if something happened to me. Who would I get to update and indeed would I even want to? Also there is the question of if I did - what would said trusted friend think of me after they had updated the blog? Would they be surprised? Would they be embarrassed for me? Would they think I was an idiot or would they discover something in me that they hadn't really contemplated before? I honestly don't know.
Scorpy's mate made the comment about his writing:
Some of it is very deep. I didn't know he had it in him.
Which made me think about how we are all perceived in life versus in blog land and indeed how complex we are as characters both on the street and in our own heads. I have been doing this for long enough to realise that everything is not what it seems when it comes to most characters, but I was to qualify that statement by saying I'm NOT talking about lying here. I mean - people explore real parts of themselves on their blog which may or may not be featured centre stage in real life. For instance, one person may come across as crass or hopeless or always on the verge of being a complete nutbag but in real life this may also be true, it's certainly not all of themselves, like it may be in a blog.
We are not one dimensional. So why is it so hard to reconcile all of those parts of ourselves so that we are always what we seem, in ALL facets of our lives?
Maybe those real life men's men - blokey blokes - explore a more "deep" side on their blog because they can't quite get to exposing that side of themselves (for whatever reason) in real life. I wonder why not? Do we (both men and women) really crucify men who express themselves eloquently in real life or is this a myth perpetuated by the gay phobia and a degradation of the "thinker" in the sports pages of every tabloid newspaper out there? Are men who write in the first place a bit more sensitive anyway and that's why this dichotomy of blokey guy on the outside, superhero deep guy on the blogside (made up word) exists?
If you were in an accident and your friend read your blog would they be surprised by reading a different person to who they really knew?
Why?
How?
Thinking music - one of my favourites (of course)
Get Off - The Dandy Warhols
Labels: blogs, dreams, friends, musical monday, stressed teachers, teaching, teaching the teacher, work
Tuesday, February 05, 2008
co-worker schmoe-worker
I'm having this little issue with a co-worker of mine. Recently she's taken over a team leader position in my area of teaching. Within this team she is the most experienced teacher, however she is not the most experienced in terms of having taught at this level before. There are two other teachers who are more experienced in teaching this grade than her and one of those teachers is me. This is a rather important point because kids at the level I teach at are unlike any other grade in the school. They are so far beyond what would be considered normal that you can't even compare it to teaching in any other grade. I know because I have taught other grades and the first time I came to teach this grade I was so unprepared for how different it was that it wasn't funny.
Anyway, this new leader is, I think, feeling threatened by the fact that this is all so overwhelming to her and in order to lift her own profile she keeps making condescending comments to me. In fairness she hasn't known me in any other role except as the art teacher and obviously I was sensitive about that perception when coming back into the classroom, but I've had enough of it now. Today she made a rather obvious comment about needing to enter names into the database - I mean, no shit right? - but it was something, incidentally (and rather surprisingly) she needed clarification about herself. I guess she felt embarrassed about not knowing how to do this herself that she wanted to appear more competent than someone else so ...why not pick on the art teacher? Unfortunately by that stage I'd had enough of little children crying at me all day that I just snapped Yeah I know, I *have* been working with his program *in the classroom* for about 5 years. rrraaow! I totally called her out and ...well, was a bit awkward after that. Now things are weird. I hate that.
For the most part I'm a rather easygoing person to deal with in real life. I do call people on their bullshit, don't get me wrong, but I rarely confront people with anger, especially in a work environment. I'd rather check my own ego if it means keeping the peace - which is what usually ends up happening. This is so at odds with how I deal with things on the internet where I'll just say exactly what I think at all times. If I don't then it's not because I respect you so much that I can't possibly say what I really think, it's just that I think you can't handle a discussion/comment beyond a 'yes ma'am' or 'yes sir'. Basically I think you'll pussy out and I'm don't care to deal with the wah wah bullshit that goes along with that. But in the work environment I will take one for the team - not if I truly believe something to be wrong - but when it comes to little disputes then yes.
Now, I'm not so sure of how to handle this one.
Do I keep on asserting that yes, yes I've been there done that - I'm much more experienced in teaching a grade than I am teaching art?
Do I just ignore the whole situation?
Do I go to her for the answer to a really obvious question that will re-establish the - you leader, me pleb - role?
Do I say fuck it and take the whole school and all the children down with me in a blaze of glory?
Anyway, this new leader is, I think, feeling threatened by the fact that this is all so overwhelming to her and in order to lift her own profile she keeps making condescending comments to me. In fairness she hasn't known me in any other role except as the art teacher and obviously I was sensitive about that perception when coming back into the classroom, but I've had enough of it now. Today she made a rather obvious comment about needing to enter names into the database - I mean, no shit right? - but it was something, incidentally (and rather surprisingly) she needed clarification about herself. I guess she felt embarrassed about not knowing how to do this herself that she wanted to appear more competent than someone else so ...why not pick on the art teacher? Unfortunately by that stage I'd had enough of little children crying at me all day that I just snapped Yeah I know, I *have* been working with his program *in the classroom* for about 5 years. rrraaow! I totally called her out and ...well, was a bit awkward after that. Now things are weird. I hate that.
For the most part I'm a rather easygoing person to deal with in real life. I do call people on their bullshit, don't get me wrong, but I rarely confront people with anger, especially in a work environment. I'd rather check my own ego if it means keeping the peace - which is what usually ends up happening. This is so at odds with how I deal with things on the internet where I'll just say exactly what I think at all times. If I don't then it's not because I respect you so much that I can't possibly say what I really think, it's just that I think you can't handle a discussion/comment beyond a 'yes ma'am' or 'yes sir'. Basically I think you'll pussy out and I'm don't care to deal with the wah wah bullshit that goes along with that. But in the work environment I will take one for the team - not if I truly believe something to be wrong - but when it comes to little disputes then yes.
Now, I'm not so sure of how to handle this one.
Do I keep on asserting that yes, yes I've been there done that - I'm much more experienced in teaching a grade than I am teaching art?
Do I just ignore the whole situation?
Do I go to her for the answer to a really obvious question that will re-establish the - you leader, me pleb - role?
Do I say fuck it and take the whole school and all the children down with me in a blaze of glory?
Labels: school, stressed teachers, teacher dramas, teaching, teaching the teacher, work
Thursday, January 24, 2008
Alternative
I awoke this morning to a text message from ex art teacher (who is coming back to do art this year) asking me whether I was coming in to school this week because if so we could meet and do a quick handover of the art program/key/info. I almost went into hyperventilation mode while reading it. No, I'm not quite ready to be so formal yet. Sure, I actually went into school for two very long, hard, messy days last week to clean my room and get it ready (is there any other job where the workers are made to clean their own office and rearrange the furniture and even in my case BRING IN MY OWN furniture?) - so the point is, I already went in early last week so I didn't have to do it now.
The text this morning reminded me that my time as a lady of leisure is almost over. It also made me feel nervous. Going back to the classroom is a big change from the art role - the biggest part of this change is having once again to deal with parental influence and pressure. For the most part I think I handle the pressure quite well and get along with most parents. But on the other hand there are a few parents who do make a teacher's life a living hell and those parents are the ones that end up overruling all the lovely ones. The way to make a teacher's life hell is not by requesting interviews, or by wanting more homework, or even by ringing them to discuss their child. All this stuff, I want the parents to do. I want them to be diligent about their child's reading as I am. I want them to strive for the best. The problems occur only when the parents are completely off the planet with their demands and/or are aggressive. The year level I'm going back to teach is by far the worst in terms of parental pressure on teachers, until probably year 12 VCE High School.
My non teacher friends don't quite believe my stories of being interrupted in the middle of lessons by parents who are pissed about something, or being told that they rule the school and that they can get anything they want done so watch out (this was actually said to a teacher I know), or dealing with parent teacher interviews where the parents actually REFUSE to leave (dude, you get 10 minutes like everyone else!) or parents who shout, are aggressive, complain to the prin instead of coming straight to you (news flash, prin has no idea what you're going on about), blame the teacher if their child loses a jumper (like as if we're stockpiling them or something) - and the best one, those that will stand outside the classroom with their noses pressed right into the window so they can see what's going on (not offputting for the child at all!). You see, when I relate these stories to my friends, they think I'm exaggerating - as I tend to do most times. The thing is, they all have jobs where the client has to make an appointment in order to see management and they all are in workplaces where there are rules of conduct that are actually followed by their clients. They can't quite believe that someone would be harassed like that in their place of work. Well, believe it - there isn't a teacher alive out there who doesn't have a horror story.
Anyway, the point is, thinking about this makes me extremely nervous. I'm about to get my world rocked when honestly I prefer people to be more easy going. It'll be tough.
The other day I was researching alternative education on the web. I've always been interested in alternative education - that is education that is not run by the state or private schools. I mean, independent schools where they are a law unto themselves. I came across a school run by a quite well known children's book author - that is located just outside of Melb. The school sounds interesting and is so unlike the experiences of a general education that I do wonder how things operate.
The principal wanted to create a school that was based about what schools were like back before the bureaucracy got a hold of the reigns and started controlling everything. The website of the school outlines it's educational approach which all seem very run of the mill except when you get to the last point. Food should not to be brought to school, as we provide morning tea and lunch and snacks in-between. Lollies, chewing gum and soft drinks are not to be brought to school at any time. We cater for allergies and special diets. Interesting and you know, I like it. There is another school in Melbourne that has a similar philosophy on food and cooking (scroll down). More and more schools I've had contact with are rejecting not only cooking in the school, but also the sharing of food or if they do cooking it is not eaten because of the risk of a) contamination. b) allegries. Back when I was at school we cooked, we ate, we shared food, we had parties with food. News flash! Food is part of being human. Let's embrace that fact again. It makes me sad that food is so feared in our society: due to the so called (scaremongering) obesity epidemic or to other factors such as allergies and other controlling forces.
The other part of this particular school that impressed me in particular was the "is this school right for you?" page. Basically, it's the school laying down the law and saying; this is what we do, if you don't like it then pick somewhere else to send your child. It's nothing that is out of the ordinary either. It's just about respecting the school environment. I heartily agree with #10 which states We are very happy for parents to be involved in the life of the school, in all kinds of rich, exciting and rewarding ways. We work on an `invitation-acceptance’ or an `offer-acceptance’ basis. In other words, we may invite parents to contribute to the school in some way, and they may accept our invitation; equally they may offer to help us in some way and we may accept their invitation. However we are not happy with parents who want to impose their own agendas on the school, and we don’t tolerate parents who attempt to bully the school, teachers, or other students.. You get the feeling that this rule is actually upheld and that's a good thing.
But my favourite philosophy behind both schools, and many alternative education schools is their stance on free time. Nowadays free time is a dirty word to most parents and especially to the department. Free time implies that the time is idle and wasted. But to me, free time is always where you learn the most because you are left to your own devices. It's no secret that most of what we learn we actually learn through experimentation and play. All those things we, as adults, do that grabs and holds our attention is achieved through experimentation and choice - with a camera, or a paintbrush, some words, or a book or whatever it is that we do when we are not actually forced to do anything. Free time doesn't mean "not learning" free time means researching something for yourself, it means tactile, it means feeding your imagination. The things that stick out in our minds are the things that we have pioneered and discovered for ourselves or with others in tow. Free time is an important part of school life that has been lost in both the private and government sector because of fear that we are not 'doing our jobs and teaching'. It's become corrupted by this view that giving a child free time will mean they are not learning anything. This point of view is so ignorant it makes me ill. I feel sorry for those children whose whole day is organised, from school all day which is organised into little sections of learning to after school where often they partake in some new kind of organised learning as well - sport, dance, language, play dates. I speak to so many parents who are basically chauffeurs on the weekend too. It's sad. I'm finding that these alternative schools put a lot of value in free time and thank God. Obviously it's not something that is done excessively - but rather it's just something that is seen as important.
The school has only been running a couple of years and I do wonder what kind of student the school will produce after a few years - and indeed what will that student be like as an adult and as an older student in a mainstream high school. Will they be wildcats who are behind in learning and unable to function in the real world or will they be the pioneers of an independent mind, creativity and cooperation - active in creating a new kind of world?
For the record, I don't agree with all facets of alternative education - nor to I disagree with all ways in which public or private schools are run.
But what say you? Would you ever consider alternative education for your own child? Was it a choice you ever entertained but decided against? Never considered it? Were you a child of alternative education? Know people who are into it? Hate the way that schools are run but still aren't putting your money where your mouth is by sending your child somewhere else? I'd love to know your thoughts!
The text this morning reminded me that my time as a lady of leisure is almost over. It also made me feel nervous. Going back to the classroom is a big change from the art role - the biggest part of this change is having once again to deal with parental influence and pressure. For the most part I think I handle the pressure quite well and get along with most parents. But on the other hand there are a few parents who do make a teacher's life a living hell and those parents are the ones that end up overruling all the lovely ones. The way to make a teacher's life hell is not by requesting interviews, or by wanting more homework, or even by ringing them to discuss their child. All this stuff, I want the parents to do. I want them to be diligent about their child's reading as I am. I want them to strive for the best. The problems occur only when the parents are completely off the planet with their demands and/or are aggressive. The year level I'm going back to teach is by far the worst in terms of parental pressure on teachers, until probably year 12 VCE High School.
My non teacher friends don't quite believe my stories of being interrupted in the middle of lessons by parents who are pissed about something, or being told that they rule the school and that they can get anything they want done so watch out (this was actually said to a teacher I know), or dealing with parent teacher interviews where the parents actually REFUSE to leave (dude, you get 10 minutes like everyone else!) or parents who shout, are aggressive, complain to the prin instead of coming straight to you (news flash, prin has no idea what you're going on about), blame the teacher if their child loses a jumper (like as if we're stockpiling them or something) - and the best one, those that will stand outside the classroom with their noses pressed right into the window so they can see what's going on (not offputting for the child at all!). You see, when I relate these stories to my friends, they think I'm exaggerating - as I tend to do most times. The thing is, they all have jobs where the client has to make an appointment in order to see management and they all are in workplaces where there are rules of conduct that are actually followed by their clients. They can't quite believe that someone would be harassed like that in their place of work. Well, believe it - there isn't a teacher alive out there who doesn't have a horror story.
Anyway, the point is, thinking about this makes me extremely nervous. I'm about to get my world rocked when honestly I prefer people to be more easy going. It'll be tough.
The other day I was researching alternative education on the web. I've always been interested in alternative education - that is education that is not run by the state or private schools. I mean, independent schools where they are a law unto themselves. I came across a school run by a quite well known children's book author - that is located just outside of Melb. The school sounds interesting and is so unlike the experiences of a general education that I do wonder how things operate.
The principal wanted to create a school that was based about what schools were like back before the bureaucracy got a hold of the reigns and started controlling everything. The website of the school outlines it's educational approach which all seem very run of the mill except when you get to the last point. Food should not to be brought to school, as we provide morning tea and lunch and snacks in-between. Lollies, chewing gum and soft drinks are not to be brought to school at any time. We cater for allergies and special diets. Interesting and you know, I like it. There is another school in Melbourne that has a similar philosophy on food and cooking (scroll down). More and more schools I've had contact with are rejecting not only cooking in the school, but also the sharing of food or if they do cooking it is not eaten because of the risk of a) contamination. b) allegries. Back when I was at school we cooked, we ate, we shared food, we had parties with food. News flash! Food is part of being human. Let's embrace that fact again. It makes me sad that food is so feared in our society: due to the so called (scaremongering) obesity epidemic or to other factors such as allergies and other controlling forces.
The other part of this particular school that impressed me in particular was the "is this school right for you?" page. Basically, it's the school laying down the law and saying; this is what we do, if you don't like it then pick somewhere else to send your child. It's nothing that is out of the ordinary either. It's just about respecting the school environment. I heartily agree with #10 which states We are very happy for parents to be involved in the life of the school, in all kinds of rich, exciting and rewarding ways. We work on an `invitation-acceptance’ or an `offer-acceptance’ basis. In other words, we may invite parents to contribute to the school in some way, and they may accept our invitation; equally they may offer to help us in some way and we may accept their invitation. However we are not happy with parents who want to impose their own agendas on the school, and we don’t tolerate parents who attempt to bully the school, teachers, or other students.. You get the feeling that this rule is actually upheld and that's a good thing.
But my favourite philosophy behind both schools, and many alternative education schools is their stance on free time. Nowadays free time is a dirty word to most parents and especially to the department. Free time implies that the time is idle and wasted. But to me, free time is always where you learn the most because you are left to your own devices. It's no secret that most of what we learn we actually learn through experimentation and play. All those things we, as adults, do that grabs and holds our attention is achieved through experimentation and choice - with a camera, or a paintbrush, some words, or a book or whatever it is that we do when we are not actually forced to do anything. Free time doesn't mean "not learning" free time means researching something for yourself, it means tactile, it means feeding your imagination. The things that stick out in our minds are the things that we have pioneered and discovered for ourselves or with others in tow. Free time is an important part of school life that has been lost in both the private and government sector because of fear that we are not 'doing our jobs and teaching'. It's become corrupted by this view that giving a child free time will mean they are not learning anything. This point of view is so ignorant it makes me ill. I feel sorry for those children whose whole day is organised, from school all day which is organised into little sections of learning to after school where often they partake in some new kind of organised learning as well - sport, dance, language, play dates. I speak to so many parents who are basically chauffeurs on the weekend too. It's sad. I'm finding that these alternative schools put a lot of value in free time and thank God. Obviously it's not something that is done excessively - but rather it's just something that is seen as important.
The school has only been running a couple of years and I do wonder what kind of student the school will produce after a few years - and indeed what will that student be like as an adult and as an older student in a mainstream high school. Will they be wildcats who are behind in learning and unable to function in the real world or will they be the pioneers of an independent mind, creativity and cooperation - active in creating a new kind of world?
For the record, I don't agree with all facets of alternative education - nor to I disagree with all ways in which public or private schools are run.
But what say you? Would you ever consider alternative education for your own child? Was it a choice you ever entertained but decided against? Never considered it? Were you a child of alternative education? Know people who are into it? Hate the way that schools are run but still aren't putting your money where your mouth is by sending your child somewhere else? I'd love to know your thoughts!
Labels: childhood, questions, school, stressed teachers, teaching, teaching the teacher, wonderings
Thursday, December 20, 2007
moving on
Me - I'm sooo not ready for the end of the year. I've got so much still left to do. I'm moving rooms next year.
#2 - I got offered a new room. The new room is actually a lot better than the one I have now but there is no way I'm going through the pain of moving.
R - I would seriously rather teach in a hole than move rooms again.
Me - haha.
R - moving is the worst!
Me - yep, tell me about it.
It's not just the physical pain of moving but also the mental drain of knowing that you have to set up a whole different room from scratch - not to mention the mental switch moving to a whole new type of teaching. I'm wondering if I remember how to do it.
The hardest bit to deal with though are the emotions I'm going though about leaving. It's harder than I expected it would be. Every piece of work I take down I'm thinking about that child and the effort they put in, I'm think of my own teaching and guidance that helped achieve that result and I'm thinking of the joy it's brought to so many people who have walked past and stopped, looked and commented. Taking the work down is a process I need to go through in order to leave it behind properly. I'm leaving behind a wonderful team, a space I have perfected to my own tastes, a bazillion motivated children and most importantly my autonomy. I'm going to miss that and I know I'm giving it up to work under a leader I quite frankly don't respect all that much to do work that will, I already know, not be appreciated for whom I do it for. I need the challenge though.
I've received a lot of cards and lovely presents this year. It's really the words I take with me more than anything else. Words about flourishing children. Words of thanks and praise. Words saying that for the first time ever they are seeing their children enjoy art. Affirming, lovely words that lift my spirits. These words are very important to me because in a profession like teaching (and nursing too I'm sure is similar) you hear all the complaints but none of the compliments. When there's something wrong, you get words straight away: Words in letters, words in cards, threatening, spitting, accusing, hissing words. When you do good, it's the rare parent that notices or thinks to give a gift of words. We use them everyday and they cost nothing - and yet when it comes to giving them nicely we hesitate...
I guess I'm saying that it's an easy present to give and yet it brings a lot of joy. So, you've got a day left before the holidays (Victorians) - do it.
Labels: christmas, school, stressed teachers, teaching, teaching the teacher, words
Wednesday, October 17, 2007
schools and learning
It's over! The film has been made, edited, submitted and finally screened. The premiere was last night (to rave reviews). V. Prin was there to support the cause and so were all the parents and children. Our film stood up marvellously to the work from neighbouring schools - even to neighbouring high schools. I understand why you were being so pedantic now V.Prin whispers to me during the premiere.
I was talking to the organiser of the event afterwards and it turns out that they might not get funding to re-create the event and training next year. This is not good. V.Prin is especially supportive of school events that go beyond English and Mathematics and so am I. Unfortunately schools are suffering the paradox of only being funded for core subjects but at the same time being EXPECTED to SOLVE the problems of the world. Shitty kids - apparently schools are to blame. Overweight kids - apparently schools are to blame. A valueless society - apparently schools are to blame. Apparently many parents don't parent anymore, this is my personal opinion but in any case we're expected to solve these problems but the only programs that are ever valued (with money and support) are programs involving numeracy and English. It's frustrating.
Anyway, this morning I got to school and found out that one of our little girls has qualified for a specific sport event - state level. Soon it will be Nationals - she's really that talented and I wouldn't be surprised if she ended up competing for Australia one day in her event. As it also happens she's not doing so well academically - but these sporting events; they are really her forte and indeed I'm not exaggerating when I say that this is her ticket out of hellsville - really. Unfortunately things are such that the things she does well aren't recognised properly by the powers that be. The school itself has poured money into the programs that help her (and others like her) but that's been off our own bat and I know that if she had gone to another school she wouldn't have had the chance to develop these particular talents because they are too far out from what is valued in schools to teach. In short, it's not English or Maths - and it can't be quantified so therefore it's not seen as important.
Schools these days are so tied by quantifying results to everyone around us (parents, high schools, the media, the government) that anything that can't be quantified gets put on the backburner as a "nice idea buuuuut..." - and that's what is happening to this film making thing – never mind that it ties in with literacy, decision making skills, art, technology, organisation and planning skills, critical thinking etc - but apparently these can't be measured by some crappy standardised test so they aren't seen as important. Sigh - and what of those kids that aren't going to ever make it based on their maths scores? Where do they fit in when it comes to the current education climate? You can bet if their programs are being devalued then they are feeling devalued too.
In other news I've started another photography class, this one focuses on portraits. In the last class I was frustrated by one of the other students. He constantly talked over the top of the teacher and was basically the kind of person I hate - acts superior, few brain cells, big mouth, arrogant, flirted with the only married woman in the class. Boo to all that. In this class everyone seems nice and all but the teacher is a nutter. Firstly he tells us that we won't actually need our cameras because he's very "theoretical" and then he says that in order to get discussion going he's going to pick on us individually until we start talking. So when he mused the other night -"What *is* a portrait anyway?" and then turned around and suddenly pointed right at my nose and shouted "YOU! WHAT DO YOU THINK?" I immediately felt like I was back in high school - my mouth went completely dry and could hardly answer. I'm a bit scared of him. I have no idea how we are going to learn about portrait taking without using our cameras ... should be err..something something.
I was talking to the organiser of the event afterwards and it turns out that they might not get funding to re-create the event and training next year. This is not good. V.Prin is especially supportive of school events that go beyond English and Mathematics and so am I. Unfortunately schools are suffering the paradox of only being funded for core subjects but at the same time being EXPECTED to SOLVE the problems of the world. Shitty kids - apparently schools are to blame. Overweight kids - apparently schools are to blame. A valueless society - apparently schools are to blame. Apparently many parents don't parent anymore, this is my personal opinion but in any case we're expected to solve these problems but the only programs that are ever valued (with money and support) are programs involving numeracy and English. It's frustrating.
Anyway, this morning I got to school and found out that one of our little girls has qualified for a specific sport event - state level. Soon it will be Nationals - she's really that talented and I wouldn't be surprised if she ended up competing for Australia one day in her event. As it also happens she's not doing so well academically - but these sporting events; they are really her forte and indeed I'm not exaggerating when I say that this is her ticket out of hellsville - really. Unfortunately things are such that the things she does well aren't recognised properly by the powers that be. The school itself has poured money into the programs that help her (and others like her) but that's been off our own bat and I know that if she had gone to another school she wouldn't have had the chance to develop these particular talents because they are too far out from what is valued in schools to teach. In short, it's not English or Maths - and it can't be quantified so therefore it's not seen as important.
Schools these days are so tied by quantifying results to everyone around us (parents, high schools, the media, the government) that anything that can't be quantified gets put on the backburner as a "nice idea buuuuut..." - and that's what is happening to this film making thing – never mind that it ties in with literacy, decision making skills, art, technology, organisation and planning skills, critical thinking etc - but apparently these can't be measured by some crappy standardised test so they aren't seen as important. Sigh - and what of those kids that aren't going to ever make it based on their maths scores? Where do they fit in when it comes to the current education climate? You can bet if their programs are being devalued then they are feeling devalued too.
In other news I've started another photography class, this one focuses on portraits. In the last class I was frustrated by one of the other students. He constantly talked over the top of the teacher and was basically the kind of person I hate - acts superior, few brain cells, big mouth, arrogant, flirted with the only married woman in the class. Boo to all that. In this class everyone seems nice and all but the teacher is a nutter. Firstly he tells us that we won't actually need our cameras because he's very "theoretical" and then he says that in order to get discussion going he's going to pick on us individually until we start talking. So when he mused the other night -"What *is* a portrait anyway?" and then turned around and suddenly pointed right at my nose and shouted "YOU! WHAT DO YOU THINK?" I immediately felt like I was back in high school - my mouth went completely dry and could hardly answer. I'm a bit scared of him. I have no idea how we are going to learn about portrait taking without using our cameras ... should be err..something something.
Labels: kids, school, stressed teachers, teaching, teaching the teacher
Wednesday, September 12, 2007
Can't stop missing Anna Nicole
So after my last boo hoo post about aloneness - by some serendipity I came across the article that expained it all.
Radar's 100 Reasons Why You Are Still Single.
I swear I busted a rib laughing while reading it. Then of course the stark reality set in that ummm maybe I do some of these things.
Here are some of the best bits of the list - of course the whole thing is a best bit really. I've been kind enough to highlight the ones exhibited by yours truly so you can see just how sad I am and point and laugh. I will not name names but I already know that some of YOU guys do some of the things on the list too. I'll leave it up to you to own up.
Incidentally I partook (is this even a word?) in a PC versus Mac "conversation" at school today. I am one of those rare people that owns a Mac (though rarely use it for internet surfing purposes anymore) and actually COULDN'T GIVE A SHIT about which is better in emotive terms. I find it infinitely amusing how emotional Mac people are about their computers. There's some definite ain't seen any lovin' in a long time type passion going on there with the Mac users and I'm not quite sure why Mac users are so taken with their Macs.
The people I was talking to seemed normal on the outside (except we are all teachers, which of course makes us abnormal to the nth degree) totally surprised me by how far their lovefest went - hell they even got into "classic Mac appreciation societies" for fucks sake - yes apparently they really do exist!. I'm like...yes, I'm one of you but I'm not a freak like you (I actually said that). It seems that next year we will have more than two Mac users renting their edu laptops at the school. The computer techs are mortified - you'd think they'd be rapt.
- It seems that I'm not the only one considering a change at the school next year. The problem with this is that a few personalities I probably wouldn't like working with are planning on making a change to the same level that I'm considering teaching at next year. This is making me think twice about changing at all. Will working in a team I don't like be worth the change? I know the classroom is 'my own' but I'm now used to planning and executing things my own way - especially financially...will I end up killing someone whose ideas I clash with?
I approached Prin about maintaining some Art duties. She seemed receptive to the idea but I know that she doesn't want anymore job and grade sharing going on than is already happening next year. The thing about teaching at a primary level is that so much is always going on. We are not a bunch of specialist teachers - we've all trained as classroom teachers - but classrooms are creative and dynamic places in primary schools and people who go into teaching usually have something a little extra up their sleeves and are creative and dynamic too. You have to be in order to work with kids. Maybe they are arty, or have a knack for organising money, or are secretly computer geeks, or have a way with counseling, or are film buffs, or sporting legends in their tea breaks or musical geniuses, can dance or are amature theatre stars.
Wouldn't it be great that since we are fostering these "extra talents" in children too, that those of us who want to offer more, can? Schools are always banging on about being flexible places that integrate learning but the bottom line is, we rarely integrate teachers in order to make best use of our talents. We teach in boxes most of the time because it's easiest for management and indeed easier to sell to the parents. Sometimes we bow too much to parental pressure - so little John will have to get used to having two teachers instead of one - geez someone call in the authorities little John will have to...*gasp* learn to deal with different personalities - which won't help him in the real world at all, will it? Yes, I understand that if we're going to let teachers follow their own areas of interest then it means that the school will be messy in its structure - but as any teacher will tell you that all the best learning is messy, isn't it?
Radar's 100 Reasons Why You Are Still Single.
I swear I busted a rib laughing while reading it. Then of course the stark reality set in that ummm maybe I do some of these things.
Here are some of the best bits of the list - of course the whole thing is a best bit really. I've been kind enough to highlight the ones exhibited by yours truly so you can see just how sad I am and point and laugh. I will not name names but I already know that some of YOU guys do some of the things on the list too. I'll leave it up to you to own up.
5. Are only gay when you're drunk
6. Have written poetry inside a Starbucks
13. Use emoticons in handwritten letters (I know this is unforgivable but you see the thing is - once you start this it's very difficult to stop!)
14. Own a "It's Not Going to Suck Itself" T-shirt
18. Can't stop missing Anna Nicole
19. Scream out Wheel of Fortune answers (Wheel of Fortune, Temptation, RocKwiz, Spicks and Specks, even kids game shows - yes unfortunately for you I am always the carry over couch champ of any televised game show!)
21. Won't travel anywhere out of "blading distance"
23. Begin stories with, "I'm not a stalker, but ..." (...only as a joke I swear!)
26. Flash devil horns in wedding photos
27. Eat with one arm guarding your plate
28. Refer to your PDA as a "Crackberry"
29. Have a dartboard in your kitchen
30. Own a calendar featuring babies dressed as cowboys
32. Keep a dream journal (technically no, but I've been known to write about a dream or two, or 25)
36. Have a "lucky" garter hanging from your rearview mirror
38. Refuse to remove your Bluetooth earpiece during sex
39. Take off work each year to celebrate Cinco de Mayo; are Irish
41. Display your framed degree from bartending school
44. Refer to Target as "Tar-Jay" (not anymore, I promise...but I only very recently quit - like about 10 minutes ago when I read this list)
45. Have ever said: "That's sooo Sagittarius" (I can't help it if some people are *very* Leo, others are unfortunately Taurean - haha, yes yes I know a billion of you are Taurus, don't get your knickers in a knot- and some other people are so fabulously Arean they deserve to be king of the world now can I? *cough*)
47. Have a five o'clock shadow, on your ass
49. Cry when you listen to Belle and Sebastian, then, still tearful, blog about it (um..oh lord, it may not be Belle and Sebastian but it's close, veeerrry close and you all know it. I blame WDKY).
52. Have more than zero stuffed animals on your bed
53. Live by two sartorial rules: pleated, stonewashed
58. Have taken more than one cell phone picture of your genitals
59. Close all correspondence with "Prayerfully Yours"
62. Use the word "scrumptious" (it's a perfectly good word dammit!)
64. List "Dungeon Master" on your business card
75. Have a bedside stack of Sudoku books
76. Can only make love to the Mighty Mighty Bosstones
80. Have a screensaver of you posing with your Frisbee golf bros
82. Have cellulite on your face
83. Refer to yourself as a "vagitarian"
87. Get visibly angry during Apple vs. PC debates
88. Are known among your girlfriends as "Heavy Flow"
98. Posted a Craigslist "Missed Connections" ad to find the kid who groped you on the subway
99. Believe the mouth is self-cleaning
Incidentally I partook (is this even a word?) in a PC versus Mac "conversation" at school today. I am one of those rare people that owns a Mac (though rarely use it for internet surfing purposes anymore) and actually COULDN'T GIVE A SHIT about which is better in emotive terms. I find it infinitely amusing how emotional Mac people are about their computers. There's some definite ain't seen any lovin' in a long time type passion going on there with the Mac users and I'm not quite sure why Mac users are so taken with their Macs.
The people I was talking to seemed normal on the outside (except we are all teachers, which of course makes us abnormal to the nth degree) totally surprised me by how far their lovefest went - hell they even got into "classic Mac appreciation societies" for fucks sake - yes apparently they really do exist!. I'm like...yes, I'm one of you but I'm not a freak like you (I actually said that). It seems that next year we will have more than two Mac users renting their edu laptops at the school. The computer techs are mortified - you'd think they'd be rapt.
- It seems that I'm not the only one considering a change at the school next year. The problem with this is that a few personalities I probably wouldn't like working with are planning on making a change to the same level that I'm considering teaching at next year. This is making me think twice about changing at all. Will working in a team I don't like be worth the change? I know the classroom is 'my own' but I'm now used to planning and executing things my own way - especially financially...will I end up killing someone whose ideas I clash with?
I approached Prin about maintaining some Art duties. She seemed receptive to the idea but I know that she doesn't want anymore job and grade sharing going on than is already happening next year. The thing about teaching at a primary level is that so much is always going on. We are not a bunch of specialist teachers - we've all trained as classroom teachers - but classrooms are creative and dynamic places in primary schools and people who go into teaching usually have something a little extra up their sleeves and are creative and dynamic too. You have to be in order to work with kids. Maybe they are arty, or have a knack for organising money, or are secretly computer geeks, or have a way with counseling, or are film buffs, or sporting legends in their tea breaks or musical geniuses, can dance or are amature theatre stars.
Wouldn't it be great that since we are fostering these "extra talents" in children too, that those of us who want to offer more, can? Schools are always banging on about being flexible places that integrate learning but the bottom line is, we rarely integrate teachers in order to make best use of our talents. We teach in boxes most of the time because it's easiest for management and indeed easier to sell to the parents. Sometimes we bow too much to parental pressure - so little John will have to get used to having two teachers instead of one - geez someone call in the authorities little John will have to...*gasp* learn to deal with different personalities - which won't help him in the real world at all, will it? Yes, I understand that if we're going to let teachers follow their own areas of interest then it means that the school will be messy in its structure - but as any teacher will tell you that all the best learning is messy, isn't it?
Labels: relationships, school, singletons, stressed teachers, teacher dramas, teaching, teaching the teacher, wonderings
Wednesday, November 15, 2006
learning
There's something about teaching that keeps your neurons firing. I've learnt a great many things from children, probably learnt more from them than they've learnt from me to be completely honest.
It's been hailing on and off all day (didn't we just come off a heat wave?) - each break brings with it a sliver of blue sky and a touch of glare behind the heavy grey snow cloud laden sky. Around lunchtime was when it hit the worst out our way. Big sultana sized globes of white ice firing down from the heavens making everything white below. I couldn't speak over the sound of it without shouting.
Immediately 23 or so little feet bounded towards the windows and they all stood there squealing and shouting and staring at the strange sight outside. I tried in vain to round them all up again. Back to work they went, painty palate knives still in their clenched fists but their eyes kept wandering towards the windows and their voices kept rising and rising until again they were all up and walking towards the windows. Again, I round them back up like some kind of kelpie keeping the herd together and keep doing it until I am frustrated, exhausted and ready to give up altogether.
Later, I asked the v.prin how his kids were during the storm. He laughed and explained how ridiculous, loud and bouncy they were, like mine. I asked him what he did to counteract that. I just said "bugger it" and let them all go and watch the storm out the window. That's what they really wanted to do and we weren't going to get anything done while the storm was going anyway. After the storm we went on with what we were doing before.
Lesson #1: You can't fight the rip - it's too strong. Swim diagonally with it, but never against it or you're a goner.
I spent my lunchtime in the resource room laminating art prints. Not exactly a fun way to spend your time. Laminating is excruciatingly slow business. I am the girl who is constantly running into sliding doors because they don't open fast enough! I don't do too well with slow stuff. Anyway, lately I can't quite seem to get ahead of my workload. Every time I look around there is something new to add to my ever-growing list - perhaps I should stop looking the hell around then, eh? But I digress.
In this laminating process I'm mounting prints (don't be rude) to coloured board and then putting them in the sheath (err) and sliding them through the hot, tight slit (um - this doesn't sound quite right). Okay, it's not as exciting as that. It's just boring, frustrating and time consuming. M, the teacher who wrote me that nice note the other day happened to be walking past the resource room and saw me muttering to the laminator while simultaneously flipping my hair out of my eyes and giving every art print the evil eye. Obviously I am a very composed person whose body language never gives them away. She walked in and offered to give me a hand. I smiled and said no. I hate inconveniencing people. When it comes to asking for help I am decidedly male about it all (stubborn and stupid - sorry guys but you know you are - plus I am lumping myself in with you). She insists on helping me. I insist that she go enjoy her lunch break. Once again she insists and I, by this stage am completely frustrated and am ranting like Dame Looney Madwoman about how it's important for her to have her damn lunch break and this is a one woman job blahblahblah.
She just gives me the 'you're dumb' look (I get it a lot) grabs the prints and says that if I don't tell her what to do she's just going to start cutting them up and sticking them on any old way. I finally relent and M is left to mount the prints and put them in their little sleeve while I put them through the laminator and cut off the excess plastic. We're talking and laughing and making jokes and we're done in no time.
lesson #2. Sure it might take a strong character to reign me in, but its okay when that happens once in a while. Sometimes I just need to let others help me out. It's easier and it's funner (made up word).
It's been hailing on and off all day (didn't we just come off a heat wave?) - each break brings with it a sliver of blue sky and a touch of glare behind the heavy grey snow cloud laden sky. Around lunchtime was when it hit the worst out our way. Big sultana sized globes of white ice firing down from the heavens making everything white below. I couldn't speak over the sound of it without shouting.
Immediately 23 or so little feet bounded towards the windows and they all stood there squealing and shouting and staring at the strange sight outside. I tried in vain to round them all up again. Back to work they went, painty palate knives still in their clenched fists but their eyes kept wandering towards the windows and their voices kept rising and rising until again they were all up and walking towards the windows. Again, I round them back up like some kind of kelpie keeping the herd together and keep doing it until I am frustrated, exhausted and ready to give up altogether.
Later, I asked the v.prin how his kids were during the storm. He laughed and explained how ridiculous, loud and bouncy they were, like mine. I asked him what he did to counteract that. I just said "bugger it" and let them all go and watch the storm out the window. That's what they really wanted to do and we weren't going to get anything done while the storm was going anyway. After the storm we went on with what we were doing before.
Lesson #1: You can't fight the rip - it's too strong. Swim diagonally with it, but never against it or you're a goner.
I spent my lunchtime in the resource room laminating art prints. Not exactly a fun way to spend your time. Laminating is excruciatingly slow business. I am the girl who is constantly running into sliding doors because they don't open fast enough! I don't do too well with slow stuff. Anyway, lately I can't quite seem to get ahead of my workload. Every time I look around there is something new to add to my ever-growing list - perhaps I should stop looking the hell around then, eh? But I digress.
In this laminating process I'm mounting prints (don't be rude) to coloured board and then putting them in the sheath (err) and sliding them through the hot, tight slit (um - this doesn't sound quite right). Okay, it's not as exciting as that. It's just boring, frustrating and time consuming. M, the teacher who wrote me that nice note the other day happened to be walking past the resource room and saw me muttering to the laminator while simultaneously flipping my hair out of my eyes and giving every art print the evil eye. Obviously I am a very composed person whose body language never gives them away. She walked in and offered to give me a hand. I smiled and said no. I hate inconveniencing people. When it comes to asking for help I am decidedly male about it all (stubborn and stupid - sorry guys but you know you are - plus I am lumping myself in with you). She insists on helping me. I insist that she go enjoy her lunch break. Once again she insists and I, by this stage am completely frustrated and am ranting like Dame Looney Madwoman about how it's important for her to have her damn lunch break and this is a one woman job blahblahblah.
She just gives me the 'you're dumb' look (I get it a lot) grabs the prints and says that if I don't tell her what to do she's just going to start cutting them up and sticking them on any old way. I finally relent and M is left to mount the prints and put them in their little sleeve while I put them through the laminator and cut off the excess plastic. We're talking and laughing and making jokes and we're done in no time.
lesson #2. Sure it might take a strong character to reign me in, but its okay when that happens once in a while. Sometimes I just need to let others help me out. It's easier and it's funner (made up word).
Labels: school, teaching the teacher
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