[Miscellany]

* Why do people hate people with red hair so much? I'm afraid that reddy boys get the worst end of the stick for some reason. Every single preggo chick I've known has at some point expressed a wish for it 'not to be a ranga'. I've even heard 'shall drown it if it is' (which made me laugh, sorry). I don't really see what all the fuss is about as I am a card carrying member of the Eric Stolz fan club (and have gone down that road myself via a dye bottle or two) however I have been assured that giving birth to a red one is something worth worrying about. Hell, my friend E discovered that her beloved has a bit of red in the beard and is now worried that all her anti-red tirades will come back to haunt her through her future children who she claims will be doomed to red hair and freckles - all coming from a gene that is about as far away from her own family as you can imagine. L (the husband) gets it every now and again in the form of anti-red/you have a defective gene emotional outbursts.

What is it about carrot top boys that entice ridicule, anger, distaste, fear and loathing? Why is it okay to have a ginger minge if you're a girl but not if you're a boy?

* Was bored and so I got into the car and drove the Eastlink the other day (what an exciting life I lead, I hear you think!). Now the Eastlink is this newly opened stretch of freeway that "links up" Melbourne's outer Eastern suburbs with roads leading directly into the city. It's a tollway and since it just opened we get a free trial. The road itself is okay. It's a visually textured stretch of road - which means that there's a lot of different "stuff" to look at a long the way. There's about a million pieces of sculpture and lots of brightly coloured barricades to stare at (of course this is just highly annoying if you're the one doing the driving). Having said all that I'm left with the feeling that while the road is fine to drive on I wonder whether all those stops along the new freeway are really places best left unlinked instead. Have we opened portals to other dimensions we really shouldn't have? I got to the end and realised I didn't really want to be there. Maybe it (only?) works better when you're heading into the city?

Has anyone driven it? What did you think of the artwork? Did "hotel" do it for you?

*I'm getting right into Big Brother UK at the moment (In all fairness I've given up on ours and only watch Big Mouth now). I don't know exactly what it is about their BB that I like so much but I think it has something to do with the fact that they actually DO have a variety of ages in there (rather than one old tart and everyone else barely out of the womb like we do) and their Big Brother is less about "twists" and more about laying the foundations for more real interactions than we have. Interestingly I'm finding that while we as a whole (audience and housemates) are more polite (not including Brigitte) than the Brits (they actually boo their housemates!) us Aussies fail big time in two important areas: our attitude towards race and women (and yes, if you're suddenly thinking but the Brits aren't so great at those things either then you're actually getting my point!).

I've written and re-written this paragraph about a million times and yet it never seems to come out right so I'll just say this. The "bloke-speak" in the Australian version of BB is out of control BAD - both in verbalisation but also the general attitude too. A couple of years ago I wrote this and I have to say my thoughts on the matter haven't changed one bit even though no actual "turkey slapping" has been going on in the Oz house this year.

Labels: art, babies, big brother, blokes, crap reality tele, dirty femmo, gender stuff, questions, ranga, TV, wonderings

posted by M at 1:30 am 22 comments

When I heard about Thomas Beatie, the transgendered man who is now pregnant, I didn't really even bat an eyelid. Well, maybe one eyelid..but it was only for a second. I probably have more of a problem with the traditional nuclear family than I do with gays, straights, transgendered people or even men giving birth. Why? Well, I figure that if you're about to go through hell or high water like that - with your every move under scrutiny - in order to have a baby, then that means you are really going to want one. People who really want babies are probably not going to end up mistreating them or using them in order to manipulate their partners. This is more than I can say for the love 'em and leave 'em scenario that seems to happen in too many so called traditional families. In any case - this Beatie baby (if it's even true) will be born into a nuclear family anyway - (mum and dad), so neh.

Out of all the hoopla surrounding the issue it was really this quote from Thomas Beatie that made me stop and think

“Wanting to have a biological child is neither a male nor female desire but a human desire.”

And I realised that no one ever really talks about children as something that men desire. Sure you hear about men who 'one day want a family' etc but I'm not talking about in these general terms - I mean the real deal; the desperate urge to have one NOW. Women (of a certain age) are consistently made fun of for having a biological clock or for being what we call "clucky" - really wanting a child. Since procreating is ..well the ONLY way of keeping our species alive and thriving you'd think it'd be a female AND male urge to want children, and I'm pretty sure it is* but it's rarely discussed in such terms. It's usually discussed more in terms of women desperately wanting a baby and trapping the poor husband/guy into being a father. It's seen as something that happens *to them* rather than something they desperately desire.

I'd like to think it IS something they desire as much as we do but I have to admit I know a lot of girls who really want babies, but not so many men who do. Maybe the guys just don't talk about it all that much. Maybe it's a big myth created by the media..to perpetuate an image of the sturdy bloke who is tough and strong and without desires that tie him down. I don't know. If this is the case, surely it's as damaging to men as much as it is to women.

Why do you think that men are not ever thought of as "clucky"? Do they have a biological clock and if so just how loudly does it tick? If the option was available would they want to "go it alone" like women sometimes do? Do you know men who are clucky (I mean who really talk about wishing they had a baby and wanting to find a girl and have one, not in some distant future but NOW, right NOW)? If you are a guy, are you clucky now, or have you ever been?


* I realise not all men or WOMEN want babies.

Labels: babies, blokes, men, pressure, questions, what men want, what women want, women, wonderings

posted by M at 10:37 pm 24 comments

Last night I was out to dinner with the girls when E brought up a cardinal sin she had made that made her husband give her the silent treatment. Hubby is a reasonable, lovely, responsible, man with a good sense of humour. He's an Aussie bloke but not in the offensive ocker manner. So she's telling the story of her downfall while I was sitting there hoping she hadn't done something too stupid - girls do stupid things all the time you see - but when she finally revealed the truth of the situation I just sat there dumbfounded.

She borrowed his best stubby holder (his bucks night stubby holder), took it to a house party and accidentally left it there. A stubby holder (for the uninitiated) is a cylindrical piece of wetsuit type material that you put around the base of a bottle of beer (a stubby) so that when you hold it;
1) your fingers don't get too cold
2) your beer doesn't get too warm.
Apparently Australians spend a lot of time with beer in hand so ..yeah it's an essential part of Aussie life. Hubby was NOT happy when he found out about this and told E in no uncertain terms that she was to get it back immediately. When her brother in law found out he also gave E a serve about it. When E brought it up at dinner last night the girls all made that ooooooooooooooooeeeerr sound that means "you're in trouble, baby".

I, was the only one who had no idea what everyone was in such a tiz about. I do realise that blokes love their stubby holders and how useful they can be when it's a cold winter night and you don't want your hand to freeze off (beer hand) but I had no idea to the depth of man-love for this simple invention! I just assumed that stubby holders were things that bogans were obsessive about but that the rest of normal society wanted to distance themselves from as much as possible (in the name of good taste). Apparently not my dear M, apparently not!

C said that her partner has a collection of stubby holders that he would never let anyone he didn't like or "trust" use and instead bring out the the cheapo ones for the plebs. L said that one bloke she knew would hide his "good" stubby holders when he was having a house party so that they wouldn't get stolen. E added that her hubby had a collection as well.

Well, blow me down with a feather. I am completely shocked about this facet of Australian bloke-land that I had no idea about.

What say you? Do you (or your bloke) have a stubby collection that they/you are obsessive about? Do stubby holders exist outside of Australia or is there some other irrational bloke thing that men in the Northern hemisphere are obsessed with? Girls, what do you think of stubby holders - Friend or fashion crime-Foe?

Labels: blokes, weird things

posted by M at 12:03 pm 27 comments

The reason why I like shows like Big Brother (shuddup) is not just because I happen to be a trashy person with no brainz (some may argue differently) but because for me, these shows bring up questions about social politics. I like the social experiment aspect of BB - rather than the shameless famewhores themselves. Where else do we get to see people in groups forming relationships without them calling in the cops for stalking? Does this make any sense?

Here are some things I have learnt from everyday life that has been confirmed by watching Big Brother, reading various forums and involving myself in discussion about housemates and about people in general. There is a lot of generalisation here but I'm talking under the bell curve not necessarily inclusive of everyone. I realise there are people that don't fit this stereotype so I'm not trying to lump everyone together. Having said that yes, I'm lumping a big proportion of people together.

1) Men in groups bigger than 2 sometimes act as bullies because they egg each other on.

2) Not all men get involved in the bullies thing - but the ones that do would probably be best described as "blokey" men (at their most innocent).

3) Girls are BITCHES mostly about other women rather than about men.

4) Men bitch mostly about women rather than about men.

5) Girls who are not bitchy are usually a bit older.

6) Girls will play up being vacuous in order to not offend men because ...well because of point 7.

7) Girls who argue or who challenge men on their point of view are shunned by said men (and the public) and rarely seen as sexual beings.

8) Some girls will allow themselves to be bullied by men into ridiculous situations in order to avoid #7 happening to them.

9) It is a crime for a girl to be over a size 12 (I'm not being facetious) - you will be automatically shunned or even hated by some people. ed: In Australia a size 12 is "medium" in the shops. I think that's US size 8 (this is BEFORE zero came out - maybe it's a US size 6 now)

10) On the flipside - you can never be too thin. In fact if you have unhealthy eating habits in order to be that way..it's not questioned too much.

11) normal weight is seen as fat by the general public.

12) women are judged on their looks FIRST by men and by women. If they pass the looks test then personality will be next.

13) men judge women on their looks just as harshly as other women do. Maybe even more so.

14) Nerdy guys will get by on being intelligent BUT only if they are funny/likable as well.

15) Men are considered "hot" by young women if they are tall, buff and relatively blokey BUT if they are funny they get a wildcard.

16) Grid girls and promotions models are pretty much idiots or act that way (in order to avoid point 7).

17) It's okay if a girl is dumb as long as she's hot.

18) For women plastic boobs are the way to go if their boobs are "too" small. Plastic boobs are preferable to accepting yourself as how you are.

19) Mormons are annoyingly hyper (okay joking. I don't really know any mormons).

20) After a while the looks thing gets old and people begin to see each other for what they really are UNLESS you are really young/immature in which case you never get over the looks thing.

Not a pretty view of humanity eh? Maybe I'm reading it wrong. I know there is a good side to humanity okay. I'm not stupid but these all seem incredibly true to me. I realise they're generalisations - but I also think they're very true.

What do you think?

Labels: big brother, blokes, cynical bitch, generalisations, men, TV, vicious women, women

posted by M at 4:07 pm 48 comments