[Miscellany]
Thursday, August 22, 2013
Let's Get Cynical.
I'm an idealist.
I wouldn't recommended it.
I wouldn't recommended it.
I work with a lot of children who are idealists. In fact I'd go so far to say that most (all?) children are idealists. They sense the unfairness in things and voice them as if they are entitled to fairness. Of course fair in a child's eye is always a little skewed but the ideal there is a good one. Fairs fair and everyone should be treated equally.
A while ago I was complaining to a friend about something in the school system being not fair (not "that's sooo unfair" but as in, "this is not a fair way to do things"). She turned to me and said 'yes, but tell me one thing in life that is fair? You shouldn't expect fairness because nothing is fair'. I've thought about that a lot since she said it and it INFURIATES me that it's ...absolutely true. Despite laws, morals, ideals and bad joo joo fairness doesn't really get a look in. Any law has a loophole, morals are subjective, ideals are well intentioned but don't involve money so noone cares and bad joo joo never tends to get the bad guys anyway.
The problem for me is that idealism in my view basically follows an ideal of everything being fair for everyone. Justice for one and all.
But is that reality?
Is anything truly balanced on the scale of life?
Sure, what goes up must come down but do good deeds beget good responses and does thinking positive bring positive results? What about that karma then? Do bad deeds bring bad results? Does an evil act bring adequate judgement?
The problem for me is that idealism in my view basically follows an ideal of everything being fair for everyone. Justice for one and all.
But is that reality?
Is anything truly balanced on the scale of life?
Sure, what goes up must come down but do good deeds beget good responses and does thinking positive bring positive results? What about that karma then? Do bad deeds bring bad results? Does an evil act bring adequate judgement?
I remember being at uni and being *extremely* idealistic about life and how people should be. I had it all worked out. All the rich share their wealth which would feed the poor. People should just love rather than hate which would end all hate crimes and war. No one need die of a curable disease because all diseases would be curable with money being no object to fund endless medical research. No need to worry about the environment with it being universally acknowledged that all electricity companies insist on renewable energy usage - free for all. No petrol wars with us all driving water fueled cars etc. It could be so easy.
It's not.
At some point reality does a big old conga line through the idealism love fest and you are left with only one defense - Cynicism. Cynicism is subversion of mainstream ideas through ridicule because you generally distrust the motivations of people or organisations. At the heart Cynics are so distrustful because they have seen a better way of life ripped apart unnecessarily usually due to a compromise in ideals.
I graduated to cynicism years ago and from my own experience I can confirm that beneath the ridicule beats the raw heart of a die-hard idealist. I've added to my list of things that would make our world better and it keeps getting longer every week. But I do wonder if I am the only one. No one talks about being an idealist anymore (or a cynic for that matter).
Is idealism a misguided blip that a select few encounter on the way to adulthood or are all humans at one point idealists?
Are all idealists destined to become cynics?
Who the hell is an idealist supposed to vote for?
Labels: cynical bitch, idealism, musings, questions, yes I am taking politics
Wednesday, April 25, 2007
the window on humanity again..
The reason why I like shows like Big Brother (shuddup) is not just because I happen to be a trashy person with no brainz (some may argue differently) but because for me, these shows bring up questions about social politics. I like the social experiment aspect of BB - rather than the shameless famewhores themselves. Where else do we get to see people in groups forming relationships without them calling in the cops for stalking? Does this make any sense?
Here are some things I have learnt from everyday life that has been confirmed by watching Big Brother, reading various forums and involving myself in discussion about housemates and about people in general. There is a lot of generalisation here but I'm talking under the bell curve not necessarily inclusive of everyone. I realise there are people that don't fit this stereotype so I'm not trying to lump everyone together. Having said that yes, I'm lumping a big proportion of people together.
Not a pretty view of humanity eh? Maybe I'm reading it wrong. I know there is a good side to humanity okay. I'm not stupid but these all seem incredibly true to me. I realise they're generalisations - but I also think they're very true.
What do you think?
Here are some things I have learnt from everyday life that has been confirmed by watching Big Brother, reading various forums and involving myself in discussion about housemates and about people in general. There is a lot of generalisation here but I'm talking under the bell curve not necessarily inclusive of everyone. I realise there are people that don't fit this stereotype so I'm not trying to lump everyone together. Having said that yes, I'm lumping a big proportion of people together.
1) Men in groups bigger than 2 sometimes act as bullies because they egg each other on.
2) Not all men get involved in the bullies thing - but the ones that do would probably be best described as "blokey" men (at their most innocent).
3) Girls are BITCHES mostly about other women rather than about men.
4) Men bitch mostly about women rather than about men.
5) Girls who are not bitchy are usually a bit older.
6) Girls will play up being vacuous in order to not offend men because ...well because of point 7.
7) Girls who argue or who challenge men on their point of view are shunned by said men (and the public) and rarely seen as sexual beings.
8) Some girls will allow themselves to be bullied by men into ridiculous situations in order to avoid #7 happening to them.
9) It is a crime for a girl to be over a size 12 (I'm not being facetious) - you will be automatically shunned or even hated by some people. ed: In Australia a size 12 is "medium" in the shops. I think that's US size 8 (this is BEFORE zero came out - maybe it's a US size 6 now)
10) On the flipside - you can never be too thin. In fact if you have unhealthy eating habits in order to be that way..it's not questioned too much.
11) normal weight is seen as fat by the general public.
12) women are judged on their looks FIRST by men and by women. If they pass the looks test then personality will be next.
13) men judge women on their looks just as harshly as other women do. Maybe even more so.
14) Nerdy guys will get by on being intelligent BUT only if they are funny/likable as well.
15) Men are considered "hot" by young women if they are tall, buff and relatively blokey BUT if they are funny they get a wildcard.
16) Grid girls and promotions models are pretty much idiots or act that way (in order to avoid point 7).
17) It's okay if a girl is dumb as long as she's hot.
18) For women plastic boobs are the way to go if their boobs are "too" small. Plastic boobs are preferable to accepting yourself as how you are.
19) Mormons are annoyingly hyper (okay joking. I don't really know any mormons).
20) After a while the looks thing gets old and people begin to see each other for what they really are UNLESS you are really young/immature in which case you never get over the looks thing.
Not a pretty view of humanity eh? Maybe I'm reading it wrong. I know there is a good side to humanity okay. I'm not stupid but these all seem incredibly true to me. I realise they're generalisations - but I also think they're very true.
What do you think?
Labels: big brother, blokes, cynical bitch, generalisations, men, TV, vicious women, women
Tuesday, February 13, 2007
cynical post about VD.
I've seen this on a couple of blogs - thought I might do it in view of valentines day.
hm, some is spot on and some isn't*
I'm not going to write about the commercialisation of Valentine's Day or how people over romanticise an event that really should be demonstrated every day if you're with someone you love.
I'm not going to write how eye-rollingly difficult it is to keep my mouth shut when I hear men complaining how much money they *have* to spend on their girlfriends. If they had any idea how much time, money and pain (ripping the hair out from the roots fucking hurts) we spend on looking good for them but also doing things for them that are never appreciated they'd www.zipit.com and buy the necklace or roses or whatever - god knows any romantic gesture will get much appreciated! Also, if you've forgotten an anniversary or a birthday you've got this one day to make it up to the woman you love!
I'm not going to write about how women just sit back and expect to be serenaded in expensive ways when in fact they too could be a little romantic as well. That shouldn't be what it's about at all!
I ain't going to make a point about how if you don't actually have a partner you start looking around at all those people who do and then you come to that stinking realisation that every freak in the world but you has a boyfriend. Like the religious education teacher who snorts when she laughs and wears orthopedic shoes even though she's only 40 has someone. And the lady in the office who is mean to everyone has someone. And that woman with the mullet who is a relief teacher has a special someone. And um, you don't.
Hell, I won't even dare to mention what a kick in the nads this whole event is for singletons who after the first few 'ohhhh, that's lovely you're going out to dinner tonight' just want to scream and run into the woods and spread mud all over our naked bodies and run free far far away from society and all its trappings... err, maybe not that last bit but close enough. The whole day is a big sucky slap in the face if you don't have that special person to share it with.
hm, guess I don't have too much to write about eh?
*I guess that bit about being 'optimistic in romance' from that meme I posted was right on the money!
-----------
I did however want to turn this into a useful post. I found an idea at Smart at Love about that! She suggests that one should throw away the list of deal breakers that you have in a relationship and instead focus on what you bring to a relationship - good and bad. I thought the idea was interesting.
The “Good Qualities I Bring to a Relationship” list
* Loving - really, yes.
* Listening - anything.
* monogamous - I will not flirt with your best friend or your father.
* am a sexual person and willing to try many new things ;)
* am intelligent (when I want to be ;)).
* love a good talk - about so many different things. Politics, the weather, pop culture, you - I'm interested and inquisitive. Yeah, I'm actually interested in you.
* You could pretty much tell me anything about your past and I will process it and move on. I am not a judgmental person when it comes to the people I care about. That is not to say that I won't say that I disagree with you or won't tell you that you're an idiot because if you have been I will make my opinion known, but this is never done in full judgment. If I care about you I will always see you for the good things you are and take the bad things on - be it friend or lover. Seriously, try me. I have been told things by friends that never got to be heard by anyone else because they knew they could tell me anything. I won't desert someone because they have a less than stellar past. I might make fun of you for it though :) And okay, having said that - if you're a rapist/child molester I will not be able to be your friend.
* never stay mad for more than 10 minutes and do not hold a grudge EXCEPT if you cheat on me, after which I will not only leave you but you can also consider me your bitter enemy (oops wait this was supposed to be the good list wasn't it?)
* I'm loyal in that will back you up and support you and us.
* Will adore you - utterly. If I didn't I wouldn't be with you.
* sincere.
* am passionate.
* am totally into the wrestle.
* If I think you really love me then I'll be optimistic, delightful and wonderful.
* I am a great friend. I want to be your friend!
* generous, in many different ways.
* am independent but love time together to be "together".
* love laughing and am not always serious or a stick in the mud.
* can see the funny side of pretty much everything.
* will see both sides of the argument most of the time.
* am straightforward - will not try to manipulate the situation and mostly will fight a fair fight.
* am honest.
* am spontaneous! I wasn't sure whether to put this here or not but to me it's a positive thing. I'm totally up for the last minute trip to Spain. I could soooooooo do that! Really- I keep my passport on my bedside table! I have ideas and love the idea of just doing them without piss farting around with the details.
The “Not-So-Good Qualities I Bring to a Relationship” list
* jealous - yes, sorry if you flirt with other people then you cannot give me the 'but I was juuuuust flirting' line.
* temper - I'm fiery and will 'react' especially when provoked - but always short lived.
* sometimes like to do the provoking - this can be good or bad depending on how 'strong' you are. If you win, I'll be your kitten (most days). If you lose, I win forever. okay? I actually would like you to win.
* can be stubborn.
* am not one of those people that plans ahead and gets everything done on time or will even have dinner cooked always precisely when it should be. I don't do things like clockwork and this tends to drive organised people around the bend!
* insecure - I do have self esteem issues and trust issues. I will totally put my life in your hands if I know you have my back, but if there is any doubt at all I won't even put one gain of sand worth of trust in you. And no, I'm not secure in myself or my talents or any of that. I realise this is unattractive to people.
* I can be cynical and criticise.
* will give you the 'teacher look' when am unimpressed and be sarcastic. This can come off as patronising - but is a reflex (teacher look is anyway).
* moody at times.
* I will challenge you (is this good or bad? - maybe a little of both). Bottom line, if I don't agree with you I'll challenge you on it - flat out. Sometimes people don't want to be challenged. Well, tough.
* I have things I don't like talking about (no I don't have an reckless past or anything) and I haven't met anyone who can tease those things out of me and am not sure I even want them to be. It is difficult for me to 'open up'.
* sometimes I'll say things without really thinking them out properly and lash out in an immature manner just to 'get you'.
* I'm indecisive. I realise this is infuriating for everyone involved!
* I pretty much live on instinct - so have been known to fly off the handle.
* I can be impatient. I want things done yesterday - except if they're done by me. I can take as long as I want (this also makes me a hypocrite).
* I am sometimes unreasonable and childish. I have been known to pout and give evil sideways glances.
So there you have it. The mixed bag of me.
| Your Five Variable Love Profile |
 Propensity for Monogamy: Your propensity for monogamy is high. You find it easy to be devoted and loyal to one person. And in return, you expect the same from who you love. Any sign of straying, and you'll end things. Experience Level: Your experience level is medium. You probably have had a couple significant loves. And you may have even had your heart broken. But you haven't really dated a wide variety of people. Dominance: Your dominance is medium. You tend to be the one with more power. You aren't a total control freak in relationships.. But of course you don't mind getting you way! Cynicism: Your cynicism is low. You are an eternal optimist when it comes to love and romance. No matter how many times you've been hurt - you're never bitter. You believe in one true love, your perfect soulmate. And if you haven't found true love yet, you know you will soon. Independence: Your independence is high. You don't need to be in love, and sometimes you don't even want love. Having your own life is very important for you... Even more important than having a relationship. |
hm, some is spot on and some isn't*
I'm not going to write about the commercialisation of Valentine's Day or how people over romanticise an event that really should be demonstrated every day if you're with someone you love.
I'm not going to write how eye-rollingly difficult it is to keep my mouth shut when I hear men complaining how much money they *have* to spend on their girlfriends. If they had any idea how much time, money and pain (ripping the hair out from the roots fucking hurts) we spend on looking good for them but also doing things for them that are never appreciated they'd www.zipit.com and buy the necklace or roses or whatever - god knows any romantic gesture will get much appreciated! Also, if you've forgotten an anniversary or a birthday you've got this one day to make it up to the woman you love!
I'm not going to write about how women just sit back and expect to be serenaded in expensive ways when in fact they too could be a little romantic as well. That shouldn't be what it's about at all!
I ain't going to make a point about how if you don't actually have a partner you start looking around at all those people who do and then you come to that stinking realisation that every freak in the world but you has a boyfriend. Like the religious education teacher who snorts when she laughs and wears orthopedic shoes even though she's only 40 has someone. And the lady in the office who is mean to everyone has someone. And that woman with the mullet who is a relief teacher has a special someone. And um, you don't.
Hell, I won't even dare to mention what a kick in the nads this whole event is for singletons who after the first few 'ohhhh, that's lovely you're going out to dinner tonight' just want to scream and run into the woods and spread mud all over our naked bodies and run free far far away from society and all its trappings... err, maybe not that last bit but close enough. The whole day is a big sucky slap in the face if you don't have that special person to share it with.
hm, guess I don't have too much to write about eh?
*I guess that bit about being 'optimistic in romance' from that meme I posted was right on the money!
-----------
I did however want to turn this into a useful post. I found an idea at Smart at Love about that! She suggests that one should throw away the list of deal breakers that you have in a relationship and instead focus on what you bring to a relationship - good and bad. I thought the idea was interesting.
The “Good Qualities I Bring to a Relationship” list
* Loving - really, yes.
* Listening - anything.
* monogamous - I will not flirt with your best friend or your father.
* am a sexual person and willing to try many new things ;)
* am intelligent (when I want to be ;)).
* love a good talk - about so many different things. Politics, the weather, pop culture, you - I'm interested and inquisitive. Yeah, I'm actually interested in you.
* You could pretty much tell me anything about your past and I will process it and move on. I am not a judgmental person when it comes to the people I care about. That is not to say that I won't say that I disagree with you or won't tell you that you're an idiot because if you have been I will make my opinion known, but this is never done in full judgment. If I care about you I will always see you for the good things you are and take the bad things on - be it friend or lover. Seriously, try me. I have been told things by friends that never got to be heard by anyone else because they knew they could tell me anything. I won't desert someone because they have a less than stellar past. I might make fun of you for it though :) And okay, having said that - if you're a rapist/child molester I will not be able to be your friend.
* never stay mad for more than 10 minutes and do not hold a grudge EXCEPT if you cheat on me, after which I will not only leave you but you can also consider me your bitter enemy (oops wait this was supposed to be the good list wasn't it?)
* I'm loyal in that will back you up and support you and us.
* Will adore you - utterly. If I didn't I wouldn't be with you.
* sincere.
* am passionate.
* am totally into the wrestle.
* If I think you really love me then I'll be optimistic, delightful and wonderful.
* I am a great friend. I want to be your friend!
* generous, in many different ways.
* am independent but love time together to be "together".
* love laughing and am not always serious or a stick in the mud.
* can see the funny side of pretty much everything.
* will see both sides of the argument most of the time.
* am straightforward - will not try to manipulate the situation and mostly will fight a fair fight.
* am honest.
* am spontaneous! I wasn't sure whether to put this here or not but to me it's a positive thing. I'm totally up for the last minute trip to Spain. I could soooooooo do that! Really- I keep my passport on my bedside table! I have ideas and love the idea of just doing them without piss farting around with the details.
The “Not-So-Good Qualities I Bring to a Relationship” list
* jealous - yes, sorry if you flirt with other people then you cannot give me the 'but I was juuuuust flirting' line.
* temper - I'm fiery and will 'react' especially when provoked - but always short lived.
* sometimes like to do the provoking - this can be good or bad depending on how 'strong' you are. If you win, I'll be your kitten (most days). If you lose, I win forever. okay? I actually would like you to win.
* can be stubborn.
* am not one of those people that plans ahead and gets everything done on time or will even have dinner cooked always precisely when it should be. I don't do things like clockwork and this tends to drive organised people around the bend!
* insecure - I do have self esteem issues and trust issues. I will totally put my life in your hands if I know you have my back, but if there is any doubt at all I won't even put one gain of sand worth of trust in you. And no, I'm not secure in myself or my talents or any of that. I realise this is unattractive to people.
* I can be cynical and criticise.
* will give you the 'teacher look' when am unimpressed and be sarcastic. This can come off as patronising - but is a reflex (teacher look is anyway).
* moody at times.
* I will challenge you (is this good or bad? - maybe a little of both). Bottom line, if I don't agree with you I'll challenge you on it - flat out. Sometimes people don't want to be challenged. Well, tough.
* I have things I don't like talking about (no I don't have an reckless past or anything) and I haven't met anyone who can tease those things out of me and am not sure I even want them to be. It is difficult for me to 'open up'.
* sometimes I'll say things without really thinking them out properly and lash out in an immature manner just to 'get you'.
* I'm indecisive. I realise this is infuriating for everyone involved!
* I pretty much live on instinct - so have been known to fly off the handle.
* I can be impatient. I want things done yesterday - except if they're done by me. I can take as long as I want (this also makes me a hypocrite).
* I am sometimes unreasonable and childish. I have been known to pout and give evil sideways glances.
So there you have it. The mixed bag of me.
Labels: cynical bitch, mixed bag of me, singletons, smug marrieds, stupid events which highlight the obsession society has with pairing everyone up, VD, yes that's right VD
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