[Miscellany]
Wednesday, October 01, 2008
Things That Make You Go Hmmm
I have a sinking feeling that "the 90s" is coming back - and not the good part Brit pop indie bit either. I'm getting a vision of fluro-hypercolour board shorts teemed with ankle boot sneakers, short orange jackets with shoulder pads worn over tiny vests.... lots and lots of floral patterned vests...everywhere. That's right - I'm talking Vanilla Ice 90s.
Undeniable Evidence:
* Three years ago C+C Music Factory sounded like nails down the blackboard. Today, I got through "Gonna Make you Sweat" without blinking an eyelid. I'm like a barometer for cultural shift and I'm telling you - if it isn't already here, it's coming.
* I saw a pair of high top sneakers in the shops the other day. HIGH TOP SNEAKERS! Not in a St. Vinnies either - I'm taking never been worn before high tops disguised as the new thing sitting pretty along side the yoga stuff.
* Jeannie Garth is back on our television screens via....90210!
* Hair has been getting straighter for a while. The 90s was aaaaall about straight (though, a boofy kind of straight).
* I also heard Two Princes by Spin Doctors on the radio a couple of days ago. It wasn't played in irony either. I totally sang along. I still knew all the words.
* ...and who can deny big earrings? Big earrings have been making a come back for a while ladies. Am I right?
I'm just sayin' - lock up all your good taste folks: THE 90's ARE SOOOO BACK.
What is Love? - Haddaway
Have you come across any evidence? Are you excited or filled with dread?
update - 2/10/08
90s spotting of the day
Hoddle street, Melbs
Male, early 30s.
Ray bans, black blazer worn over "groovy" t-shirt, high waisted light blue denim, hair combed back, BOAT SHOES.
I promise I did not make that up.
Flipped the radio station - "Horny" by Mousse T. and Hot 'N' Juicy was playing.
update - 4/9/08
90s spotting of the day.
Riva, St Kilda
Female, early 20s
multicoloured MC HAMMER PANTS!
I'm talking crotch at the knee here.
Undeniable Evidence:
* Three years ago C+C Music Factory sounded like nails down the blackboard. Today, I got through "Gonna Make you Sweat" without blinking an eyelid. I'm like a barometer for cultural shift and I'm telling you - if it isn't already here, it's coming.
* I saw a pair of high top sneakers in the shops the other day. HIGH TOP SNEAKERS! Not in a St. Vinnies either - I'm taking never been worn before high tops disguised as the new thing sitting pretty along side the yoga stuff.
* Jeannie Garth is back on our television screens via....90210!
* Hair has been getting straighter for a while. The 90s was aaaaall about straight (though, a boofy kind of straight).
* I also heard Two Princes by Spin Doctors on the radio a couple of days ago. It wasn't played in irony either. I totally sang along. I still knew all the words.
* ...and who can deny big earrings? Big earrings have been making a come back for a while ladies. Am I right?
I'm just sayin' - lock up all your good taste folks: THE 90's ARE SOOOO BACK.
What is Love? - Haddaway
Have you come across any evidence? Are you excited or filled with dread?
update - 2/10/08
90s spotting of the day
Hoddle street, Melbs
Male, early 30s.
Ray bans, black blazer worn over "groovy" t-shirt, high waisted light blue denim, hair combed back, BOAT SHOES.
I promise I did not make that up.
Flipped the radio station - "Horny" by Mousse T. and Hot 'N' Juicy was playing.
update - 4/9/08
90s spotting of the day.
Riva, St Kilda
Female, early 20s
multicoloured MC HAMMER PANTS!
I'm talking crotch at the knee here.
Labels: 90s, defining moments in musical history, media, pop culture, retro, scared
Monday, May 12, 2008
Recap.
* Working too hard - begrudgingly.
* Planning a trip OS.
* Bought self outrageously priced piece of self indulgent jewelery. No regrets.
* Bored with ...most things.
* Not sleeping very well.
* Watching too much crap reality tele.
* Wondering what is going on with all those people on the BB forums who hate Dixie just because she's not a size 6? Shouldn't we instead be hating on the people who hate people for such superficial reasons? We have our priorities about hate screwed up. I say we should hate the people that are dickheads instead.
* Got a pay raise - but I'm in the bracket that doesn't benefit very much (no, it's not an equal pay raise for teachers..). Still a raise is a raise. Someone in the staffroom remarked "yes, I can almost afford to go on maternity leave now". That about says it all.
* Found myself stuck in the city during the taxi strike a couple of weeks ago. Why don't they also warn people who DON'T listen to AM radio talk back about these things?
* Got caught in the middle of a Scientology protest in the city a few days ago. Honestly, what is going on the city these days? I wonder if word got back to Tom.
* Am becoming anti-social. Some of it is intentional. I just can't seem to make myself care all that much about others lately and some of it stems because I'm not really getting anything by way of caring and sharing back from the old friends either.
* Music isn't really helping me any but old episodes of Prisoner: Cell Block H are. Weird I know.
* Popped in to see #1. Stayed for an a couple of hours. She never once asked me about myself. She just talked about her baby - on and on and on. This supports that part of me that is being intentionally anti-social.
* Finding myself running into road blocks every which way I go. It's like the world is conspiring against me doing the things I really want to do.
Stupid wondering for the day:
Can men ever get TOO old for Hollywood?
Harrison Ford is doing a new Indiana Jones movie. Honestly, the man is one ill timed leap frog away from a hip replacement and magnetic bed underlay for the rest of his (steak puree for dinner) life. I don't get it. I loves me some Indiana Jones, don't you worry and I did squeal like a little girl when I heard they were making a new movie. I still crack out the old movies when I need a little pep up - they are genius. I DO happen have a gigantic crush on Harrison ford circa 1980s so maybe I don't want my dreams shattered but surely there must be a limit on his adventuresome days. A girl can't get a job in Hollywood as a 40+ year old except as "grandma" lest they repulse anyone too much, but 70 year old men are still kicking it Leisure Suit Larry style? I don't understand how this can be. It's not even like he looks so good for his age that he's fooling us into thinking he can pass for 40 or 50. Pappy has NOT aged THAT well! He looks all of his 350 years! I wonder if the movie is going to have lots of "I'm too old for this shit" type jokes.
Having said all that. Still looking forward to it!
* Planning a trip OS.
* Bought self outrageously priced piece of self indulgent jewelery. No regrets.
* Bored with ...most things.
* Not sleeping very well.
* Watching too much crap reality tele.
* Wondering what is going on with all those people on the BB forums who hate Dixie just because she's not a size 6? Shouldn't we instead be hating on the people who hate people for such superficial reasons? We have our priorities about hate screwed up. I say we should hate the people that are dickheads instead.
* Got a pay raise - but I'm in the bracket that doesn't benefit very much (no, it's not an equal pay raise for teachers..). Still a raise is a raise. Someone in the staffroom remarked "yes, I can almost afford to go on maternity leave now". That about says it all.
* Found myself stuck in the city during the taxi strike a couple of weeks ago. Why don't they also warn people who DON'T listen to AM radio talk back about these things?
* Got caught in the middle of a Scientology protest in the city a few days ago. Honestly, what is going on the city these days? I wonder if word got back to Tom.
* Am becoming anti-social. Some of it is intentional. I just can't seem to make myself care all that much about others lately and some of it stems because I'm not really getting anything by way of caring and sharing back from the old friends either.
* Music isn't really helping me any but old episodes of Prisoner: Cell Block H are. Weird I know.
* Popped in to see #1. Stayed for an a couple of hours. She never once asked me about myself. She just talked about her baby - on and on and on. This supports that part of me that is being intentionally anti-social.
* Finding myself running into road blocks every which way I go. It's like the world is conspiring against me doing the things I really want to do.
Stupid wondering for the day:
Can men ever get TOO old for Hollywood?
Harrison Ford is doing a new Indiana Jones movie. Honestly, the man is one ill timed leap frog away from a hip replacement and magnetic bed underlay for the rest of his (steak puree for dinner) life. I don't get it. I loves me some Indiana Jones, don't you worry and I did squeal like a little girl when I heard they were making a new movie. I still crack out the old movies when I need a little pep up - they are genius. I DO happen have a gigantic crush on Harrison ford circa 1980s so maybe I don't want my dreams shattered but surely there must be a limit on his adventuresome days. A girl can't get a job in Hollywood as a 40+ year old except as "grandma" lest they repulse anyone too much, but 70 year old men are still kicking it Leisure Suit Larry style? I don't understand how this can be. It's not even like he looks so good for his age that he's fooling us into thinking he can pass for 40 or 50. Pappy has NOT aged THAT well! He looks all of his 350 years! I wonder if the movie is going to have lots of "I'm too old for this shit" type jokes.
Having said all that. Still looking forward to it!
Labels: cinema, crap reality tele, media, men, old, women, wonderings
Monday, March 10, 2008
McLovin'
Stuff I'm just loving right now.
Innovative Internets:
Wainy Days
(That link takes you straight to the site mydamnchannel which has all the episodes - is better quality than below - YouTube version)
This is a new internet channel show (actually it's been around for a while) created by the masterful and hilarious David Wain (whom I am going to go on record right now as LOVING and wanting to have his babies). The show takes a look at the dating dos and do nots of a perpetually single guy in his late 30s living in NYC. So far there are 20 episodes of completely inappropriate humour that often goes way too far and answers the eternal question: So THAT'S what they're really thinking. Okay, not really but it's HILARIOUS. Love how all the friends work in a sweat shop. What's with that?
Many special guest stars - mostly from old projects like The State, Stella and Wet Hot American Summer.
I love this show so much it hurts <3<3<3
(If you're over at MyDamnChannel I also highly recommend the soap opera spoof "Horrible People" and "You Suck at Photoshop" which are both also HILARIOUS!)
US Cable TV
Dexter.
This one is old news but for those who have not been initiated yet Dexter is the nicest sociopathic serial killer you could ever hope to meet. He's on the Miami Police Force payroll as a blood splatter expert and he only kills people who really deserve it. Honest. No one has a clue that he's a serial killer...well not yet anyway. His adopted father (a cop) taught him how to cover his tracks and Dexter has been following his golden rules to great success so far. The problem is that his sister's also on the force and she's getting a little too close for comfort...
A must see, definitely one of the best shows coming out of the US.
Superficial TV
Greek
Only a few people are really going to appreciate this one but I'm putting it out there anyway. Take one big Geek from high school and put him in college (sounding a little like Undeclared so far eh?) where his geekiness shines on like a crazy diamond. The problem is that his sister is the most popular girl on campus - uh oh. Bro comes along and makes friends with his sister's secret ex boyfriend who is not exactly the kind of clean cut all American boy that sis wants to be associated with anymore. Things start to get a little complicated for all concerned when it turns out that sis still has a thing for the bad boy ...which is probably not a good idea, since she's going out with Mr Big Man on Campus.
Seriously much less superficial than I've made it sound. No really it is. Okay not that much less superficial, but still good tele.
The lead guy is also in the show "Quarterlife", which started out like Wainy Days, as an internet short. It centers around a 20-something girl who blogs all day about her friends and housemates. Unfortunately they all discover her blog and she has to explain herself.
Reality TV
Project Runway.
I have been loving this show for years now. It never gets old. Take a bunch of struggling fashion designers and give them horrendously early deadlines by which to finish major pieces of fashion extravaganza that are challenging to make (ie: using only materials from the Hersey's chocolate store??). Then they all parade their models down the catwalk and the worst outfit is eliminated with a swift auf Wiedersehen from host; Heidi Klum. Brilliant and engaging reality TV! The contestants are amazingly talented people with a desire to succeed. The prize is a show at New York Fashion week and money to start your own business. As someone related to a fashion designer I know how difficult this industry is. The real star of the show however is Tim Gunn who is the contestant's mentor and father figure.
"Make it work!" <3
Retro Love
You know how back in the old days you'd make a mix tape for the people you love? Do you feel that a mix CD is a bit ...I dunno; sterile? Do you actually know anyone who still plays tapes with any kind of regularity?
I love me a mix tape and here you have all the joy of a mix tape without the fuss of actually dealing with rewinding and fast forwarding through the songs you hate (for youngies...yes that's what we used to do back in the old days). It's a USB stick of around 60minutes of playing time that fits nicely into the tape for packaging purposes. You get to scribble all over the liner card and the gift recipient gets to keep a lovely keepsake while still enjoying the convenience of plugging that sucker into the laptop and downloading all those songs onto his/her ipod. Seriously, cool AND filled with squishy retro love.
Oz TV
Underbelly
click link to go to a video news story about the show and murders
All this killing and stuff went right on in my backyard (so to speak). Makes ya proud don't it? Yeah, okay maybe not. Carl Williams is apparently unhappy with his portrayal on the show. Christ, beggars can't be choosers mate.
Oz Blog
The Breakfast Blog
Right now he's in Boston so it's all a bit pointless and boring, but once he gets back to Melbourne it'll be full steam ahead for The Breakfast Blog. The thing I love about this site, besides the fact that it details one of my favourite things (a good breakie ...that I don't have to cook) the site is remarkably easy to navigate and just all round informative. It gives you details on the price (with the nifty price index tag), tells you where the place is, indexes in alphabetical order, location AND by top scores. I love it. I use it. It's brilliant and Jamie is rarely wrong. The man knows a good breakfast!
Bless!
Games:
Scrabulous
I know I should somehow feel ashamed but actually I don't. I am, for the record the world's WORST scrabble player. I did not grow up playing scrabble on Sunday evenings and drinking chocolate milk while my parents played footsies with each other under the coffee table while listening to Tapestry on the record player. Sorry, you must have be mixed up with the Keatons or the Seavers. I think I must be trying to relive the youth I never had or something because I'm totally into the scrabble revival!
Yes, I totally look up words online and cheat. pfcha! Course!
Magazines
Nylon. It's quirky, it's Rock N Roll, it's totally fashion oriented but in a completely approachable way (finally!). It's just fun. It doesn't feel like it's only for girls though I suppose girls mostly read it. It's a little on the expensive side though.
There is an Australian magazine which I love just as much: Frankie - and REALLY love the fact that it comes with a rip out poster that I always put aside and use as wrapping paper. I like a mag that provides a little something extra.
Poster - dude, because Ro edits it and because it's swish and glam and makes me wish I was about a million times more stylish than I actually am. It's art, fashion, it's a city scape all in one - it's not your usual kind of magazine. This one is seriously going to go places. It already has in fact. <3
Book
Quirkyalone: A Manifesto for Uncompromising Romantics - Sasha Cagen
Reading To-Do List recently made me go back and re-read this old gem which Cagen wrote first. I'm more convinced now than ever that I'm a bona fide quirkyalone. It's a manifesto for all those eternally single people - not just girls mind you. Read the essay here. It explains a lot.
Movie
The King Of Kong
I recently went to see this little documentary for a laugh but I became so emotionally involved that I almost scared myself. In fact the whole cinema was booing and cheering a long with it - unheard of in Melbourne!
If you go see one thing at the cinema this year make it this movie - go RIGHT NOW. You will not regret it - you can not make this stuff up. This is a documentary about playing the arcade game Donkey Kong - remember that one? Anyone who was a kid in the 80s would remember the game, it's a classic. This documentary shows the seedy underbelly of video gaming - a side of gaming that is run by manipulation, threat and a man frightened of losing his world record score to a newcomer.
It's so very good. <3<3
And there you have the stuff I'm loving right now.
What are you loving? Share!
Innovative Internets:
Wainy Days
(That link takes you straight to the site mydamnchannel which has all the episodes - is better quality than below - YouTube version)
This is a new internet channel show (actually it's been around for a while) created by the masterful and hilarious David Wain (whom I am going to go on record right now as LOVING and wanting to have his babies). The show takes a look at the dating dos and do nots of a perpetually single guy in his late 30s living in NYC. So far there are 20 episodes of completely inappropriate humour that often goes way too far and answers the eternal question: So THAT'S what they're really thinking. Okay, not really but it's HILARIOUS. Love how all the friends work in a sweat shop. What's with that?
Many special guest stars - mostly from old projects like The State, Stella and Wet Hot American Summer.
I love this show so much it hurts <3<3<3
(If you're over at MyDamnChannel I also highly recommend the soap opera spoof "Horrible People" and "You Suck at Photoshop" which are both also HILARIOUS!)
US Cable TV
Dexter.This one is old news but for those who have not been initiated yet Dexter is the nicest sociopathic serial killer you could ever hope to meet. He's on the Miami Police Force payroll as a blood splatter expert and he only kills people who really deserve it. Honest. No one has a clue that he's a serial killer...well not yet anyway. His adopted father (a cop) taught him how to cover his tracks and Dexter has been following his golden rules to great success so far. The problem is that his sister's also on the force and she's getting a little too close for comfort...
A must see, definitely one of the best shows coming out of the US.
Superficial TV
GreekOnly a few people are really going to appreciate this one but I'm putting it out there anyway. Take one big Geek from high school and put him in college (sounding a little like Undeclared so far eh?) where his geekiness shines on like a crazy diamond. The problem is that his sister is the most popular girl on campus - uh oh. Bro comes along and makes friends with his sister's secret ex boyfriend who is not exactly the kind of clean cut all American boy that sis wants to be associated with anymore. Things start to get a little complicated for all concerned when it turns out that sis still has a thing for the bad boy ...which is probably not a good idea, since she's going out with Mr Big Man on Campus.
Seriously much less superficial than I've made it sound. No really it is. Okay not that much less superficial, but still good tele.
The lead guy is also in the show "Quarterlife", which started out like Wainy Days, as an internet short. It centers around a 20-something girl who blogs all day about her friends and housemates. Unfortunately they all discover her blog and she has to explain herself.
Reality TV
Project Runway.I have been loving this show for years now. It never gets old. Take a bunch of struggling fashion designers and give them horrendously early deadlines by which to finish major pieces of fashion extravaganza that are challenging to make (ie: using only materials from the Hersey's chocolate store??). Then they all parade their models down the catwalk and the worst outfit is eliminated with a swift auf Wiedersehen from host; Heidi Klum. Brilliant and engaging reality TV! The contestants are amazingly talented people with a desire to succeed. The prize is a show at New York Fashion week and money to start your own business. As someone related to a fashion designer I know how difficult this industry is. The real star of the show however is Tim Gunn who is the contestant's mentor and father figure.
"Make it work!" <3
Retro Love
You know how back in the old days you'd make a mix tape for the people you love? Do you feel that a mix CD is a bit ...I dunno; sterile? Do you actually know anyone who still plays tapes with any kind of regularity?I love me a mix tape and here you have all the joy of a mix tape without the fuss of actually dealing with rewinding and fast forwarding through the songs you hate (for youngies...yes that's what we used to do back in the old days). It's a USB stick of around 60minutes of playing time that fits nicely into the tape for packaging purposes. You get to scribble all over the liner card and the gift recipient gets to keep a lovely keepsake while still enjoying the convenience of plugging that sucker into the laptop and downloading all those songs onto his/her ipod. Seriously, cool AND filled with squishy retro love.
Oz TV
Underbellyclick link to go to a video news story about the show and murders
All this killing and stuff went right on in my backyard (so to speak). Makes ya proud don't it? Yeah, okay maybe not. Carl Williams is apparently unhappy with his portrayal on the show. Christ, beggars can't be choosers mate.
Oz Blog
The Breakfast BlogRight now he's in Boston so it's all a bit pointless and boring, but once he gets back to Melbourne it'll be full steam ahead for The Breakfast Blog. The thing I love about this site, besides the fact that it details one of my favourite things (a good breakie ...that I don't have to cook) the site is remarkably easy to navigate and just all round informative. It gives you details on the price (with the nifty price index tag), tells you where the place is, indexes in alphabetical order, location AND by top scores. I love it. I use it. It's brilliant and Jamie is rarely wrong. The man knows a good breakfast!
Bless!
Games:
ScrabulousI know I should somehow feel ashamed but actually I don't. I am, for the record the world's WORST scrabble player. I did not grow up playing scrabble on Sunday evenings and drinking chocolate milk while my parents played footsies with each other under the coffee table while listening to Tapestry on the record player. Sorry, you must have be mixed up with the Keatons or the Seavers. I think I must be trying to relive the youth I never had or something because I'm totally into the scrabble revival!
Yes, I totally look up words online and cheat. pfcha! Course!
Magazines
Nylon. It's quirky, it's Rock N Roll, it's totally fashion oriented but in a completely approachable way (finally!). It's just fun. It doesn't feel like it's only for girls though I suppose girls mostly read it. It's a little on the expensive side though.
There is an Australian magazine which I love just as much: Frankie - and REALLY love the fact that it comes with a rip out poster that I always put aside and use as wrapping paper. I like a mag that provides a little something extra.
Poster - dude, because Ro edits it and because it's swish and glam and makes me wish I was about a million times more stylish than I actually am. It's art, fashion, it's a city scape all in one - it's not your usual kind of magazine. This one is seriously going to go places. It already has in fact. <3
Book
Quirkyalone: A Manifesto for Uncompromising Romantics - Sasha CagenReading To-Do List recently made me go back and re-read this old gem which Cagen wrote first. I'm more convinced now than ever that I'm a bona fide quirkyalone. It's a manifesto for all those eternally single people - not just girls mind you. Read the essay here. It explains a lot.
Movie
The King Of Kong
I recently went to see this little documentary for a laugh but I became so emotionally involved that I almost scared myself. In fact the whole cinema was booing and cheering a long with it - unheard of in Melbourne!
If you go see one thing at the cinema this year make it this movie - go RIGHT NOW. You will not regret it - you can not make this stuff up. This is a documentary about playing the arcade game Donkey Kong - remember that one? Anyone who was a kid in the 80s would remember the game, it's a classic. This documentary shows the seedy underbelly of video gaming - a side of gaming that is run by manipulation, threat and a man frightened of losing his world record score to a newcomer.
It's so very good. <3<3
And there you have the stuff I'm loving right now.
What are you loving? Share!
Labels: love, media, music, pop culture, stuff, TV, weird things
Sunday, January 20, 2008
Again with the letters thing.
Dear Corey,
How can I put this?
You make me want to tear out my womb and feed it to the German Shepherds who live down the road.
love,
Sick of the Yellow Sunglasses from Supre.
Dear Babied up people of the world,
Do not ring your spinster friend and then spend that time on the phone talking to your child instead. Spinster friend has got a shitlist.
It's getting longer.
Love
Spinster Friend.
Dear Creators of the show "Ready Steady Cook"
I'm going to miss watching you when I go back to work next week. Yes I really am that pathetic. I do have one question though. Does it REALLY count when you create a dish and use the contestant's "special ingredient" only as a garnish? Surely this is cheating!
Love,
Uptight Viewer.
Dear Girl sitting near me at the Cinemas the other day,
Your BO was so bad I couldn't concentrate on the movie! I COULDN'T CONCENTRATE! I actually took out my peppermint flavoured MIGRANE STICK and pretty much stuffed it up my nose just so I didn't have to smell YOU.
I don't think people need to smell flower fresh every second of the day but why sit near me when the cinema was practically empty. SO many other seats! A VAST NUMBER OF SEATS AAAAALLLL OVER THE PLACE. But hey, sure, sit right near me, no worries.
Love,
Very Serious About Having Good Movie Experience.
Dear Mother on the Beach with her Toddler the other day,
When your little boy pointed at that young, muscle bound dude who had just come in from his swim and exclaimed "Daddy" I smiled. You see, I had seen "daddy" when your family arrived earlier. He was middle aged, pudgy, was wearing full zinc on his nose and had a Gilligan bucket hat on his head. But when you looked down at your boy and said (complete with dead pan delivery) - "nooooooope, Daddy's body looks nothing like that" I laughed out loud.
Thanks for the laugh.
Girl Hiding Behind Book.
Dear Tom Cruise,
Listen here you little FREAK. What the fuck is up? I mean dude, WHAT IS UP with your threads? Is Xenu making you wear turtlenecks? Are you channeling an 8 year old circa 1986 for your hair style? Are you fucking mental? I DO NOT UNDERSTAND HOW SOMEONE WITH SQUIlLLIONS OF DOLLARS AND PERSONAL ASSISTANTS WHO DO EVERYTHING FOR YOU, (PROBABLY EVEN WIPING YOUR ARSE), CAN MAKE SUCH GRAVE MISTAKES REGARDING FASHION LATELY! THIS IS NO TIME FOR PLAYING AROUND WITH SKIVVIES UNDER DRESS JACKETS - PEOPLE ALREADY THINK THAT YOU ARE A FREAKSHOW BONANZA AND THIS ISN'T HELPING MATTERS ANY.CLEAN IT UP TOP GUN!
SORRY ABOUT THE CAPS BUT YOU MAKE ME VERY ANGRY FOR SOME REASON!
Love,
Not a Fan.
Dear Beastie Boys,
I'm a long time fan. You make me want to grab my womb back from the German Shepherds and put it right back in.
Seriously, I can't say this enough; you are fabulous.
Love
Me.
An Open Letter to NYC - Beastie Boys
Sabotage - Beastie Boys
*EDIT*
Here's a crappy meme - as you will soon see it's scarily accurate..
The rules were
1) Put ipod on shuffle
2) every answer = a shuffled song.
3) the song that randomly comes up is the answer.
I tag all of you to do it!
1. IF SOMEONE SAYS “IS THIS OKAY” YOU SAY?
saturday's night's alright for fighting - elton john
Yes, well - you see sometimes it's good to fight.
2. WHAT WOULD BEST DESCRIBE YOUR PERSONALITY?
Tame - Pixies
Depends on the person - however maybe this is a consequence of #3.
3. WHAT DO YOU LIKE IN A GUY/GIRL?
Licking Stick - James Brown
Ipod has done it again! I plead the fifth.
4. HOW DO YOU FEEL TODAY?
Hanky Panky - Madonna
um, can I plead the 5th again? Oh look, there's a lovely butterfly over there..look! *run*
5. WHAT IS YOUR LIFE’S PURPOSE?
where the wild roses grow - nick cave
Oh goody, my life purpose is to die at the hands of a blood thirsty murderer. I will however look absolutely smashing while floating face up in a filthy lake.
6. WHAT IS YOUR MOTTO?
Mayfair song - air
yes...well I have no idea what that is about. Perhaps I like playing monopoly a little TOO much
7. WHAT DO YOUR FRIENDS THINK OF YOU?
c'etait toi (you were the one) - billy joel
Why thank you! (Though I suppose the question is what do you REALLY think of me now that you know I have this song on my ipod?)
8. WHAT DO YOU THINK OF YOUR PARENTS?
holiday - madonna
quite. I always did wish for an extended holiday from them.
9. WHAT DO YOU THINK ABOUT VERY OFTEN?
tu quieres volver - gipsy kings
I agree. I do think in other languages I don't understand very often.
10. WHAT IS 2+2?
soul bossa nova - quincy jones
Is it any wonder I almost failed stats in uni?
11. WHAT DO YOU THINK OF YOUR BEST FRIEND?
I can't make it on time - The Ramones
Ipod knows I'm often late when meeting friends.
12. WHAT DO YOU THINK OF THE PERSON YOU LIKE?
women - the easybeats
You see, ipod is also hinting that the end of my spinsterhood will be through lesbianism. Good one ipod, I shall look into it!
13. WHAT IS YOUR LIFE STORY?
Let it Be - The Beatles
lordy, this thing is good.
14. WHAT DO YOU WANT TO BE WHEN YOU GROW UP?
put your head on my shoulder - paul anka
ahhh, yes. You see this harks back to the days in my early teens when I actually wanted to be a disembodied head atop of someone elses shoulders. It was a short lived dream really - not a lot of money in it. Glad I went into teaching instead.
15. WHAT DO YOU THINK WHEN YOU SEE THE PERSON YOU LIKE?
courage - sarah polly
absolutely. Lots and lots of courage pounding through my veins... Then I run like hell.
16. WHAT DO YOUR PARENTS THINK OF YOU?
gave up - nin
yes, hence the needing of a holiday.
17. WHAT WILL YOU DANCE TO AT YOUR WEDDING?
I say a little prayer - dion warwick
good lord, I'm thinking the poor sod will be the one saying prayers but anyway.
18. WHAT WILL THEY PLAY AT YOUR FUNERAL?
psycho therapy - the ramones
hahahhaha, of course!
19. WHAT IS YOUR HOBBY/INTEREST?
an american trilogy - elvis presley
Indeed, you see I'm much into popular culture, bad food and taking over small developing nations simply by using economic manipulation and brute force. Very American of me.
20. WHAT IS YOUR BIGGEST SECRET?
stuck on you - lionel ritchie
Apparently my biggest secret is actually the fact that I have Lionel Ritchie on my ipod but anyway. Aren't I glad to have that one out of the bag?
21. WHAT DO YOU THINK OF YOUR FRIENDS?
waiting - elizabeth daily
Currently waiting for their babies to grow up so that I get my friends back actually. Good one ipod - clever clogs!
22. WHAT WOULD YOU DO FOR LOVE?
China - tori amos
hm, ipod is being quite obscure here. Has it got something to do with giving up my current life and moving overseas to China where I will be showered with many diamonds and treated like a queen? Yes, I think that's what Ipod might be saying.
oh wait, this is what *I'd* do for love, isn't it? um, well maybe I will move to china and ...start selling china goods for cheap prices to the foreign market - maybe my future love is in trade of some kind. Yesss. The more I think about it the more sense it makes.
23. WHAT IS YOUR STANCE ON RELIGION?
I don't like it like this - The Radio Dept.
Ipod obviously knows I was raised a catholic and now am disgruntled and confused.
24. WHAT DO YOU THINK OF YOUR JOB?
Cold Hearted Snake - Paula Abdul
Christ, ipod not only have you outed that I have Paula Abdul on my ipod but you've really hit the nail on the head about my workplace too!
25. OTHER BLOGGERS THINK THIS ABOUT YOU.
Release - pearl jam
From the looney bin I suppose.
You smug bastards!
Labels: crap cook, Crazy Nutters, crazy people, letters, media, meme, musical monday, pop culture, rant
Monday, September 24, 2007
Choice and control
I didn't post a Musical Monday last week. It was a busy time at school, I was exhausted and most importantly I couldn't think of how I wanted to phrase my post. I still can't to tell you the truth, but I won't let that stop me this week. This is a long one.
Last week, I posted an entry about the child model Maddison Gabriel and mused about the fashion industry using someone who is not a woman to represent women on the catwalk. Obviously, I was pissed about it, with good reason I think. Then I finished up that post with a Tori Amos suggestion that those girls like Britney Spears, girls who had lost their way, bare crotch girls who behave badly, need a mother. I've been thinking a lot about this lately. By lately, I mean, my whole adult life.
The Maddion Gabriel thing from a week or so ago highlighted to me one thing with absolute certainty and that is that: the status quo does. Not. Work. For. Women. and anyone who thinks it does is completely berko. It doesn't work in the first world and it doesn't work in the 3rd world. I shouldn't have to spell out why it doesn't work but in case you need it have a look at violence on the streets, sex, religion, fashion, education, corporation, politics and capitalism for a taste of that why. I don't even think it works for men either, to tell you the truth - but if we're going to compare (and yes we are) then well, you're not seeing 12 year old boys being sexualised by the media. You wouldn't see men standing for that either - which is an important point. Us girls, in terms of media representation and politics allow ourselves to be degraded - and then some of us actively take part in that degradation. That's why you have someone like Maddison Gabriel saying that it's all she ever wanted to do. That old gem: "It's my choice".
People get confused a bit about the difference between women's choice and women making the only choice they can in a situation that is not quite the best. I get confused because some choices seem really dumb, also some choices are applauded and some are not. For instance, musically speaking why is it accepted and applauded for a woman to wear a skimpy bikini in a soft porn video clip while allowing some fat pig of a producer to write their songs for them and market them to young girls and horny boys in a way that has nothing to do with music at all. Whereas it's not quite the same for a curvaceous, outspoken lesbian woman to write her own lyrics that are political and demonstrative. The first will have a lot of success because she fits into the accepted role of female as valued by both men and women - the other will struggle both musically and socially. Which choice would you make, the easy road or the high (and harder) road? Taking the easy road propagates the myth - taking the high road changes things but ultimately means that you might be ostricised. Some choices are easier to make than others and some choices are made for those who don't have the guts to stand up and fight against them.
When I quoted that Tori Amos little ditty about Britney needing a mother, I wasn't really thinking about the tennis club attending, SUV driving (quick, key it!), latte drinking, hot MILFS of the Eastern suburbs. I was thinking about women paying attention to who we are, and where we have come from rather than what society wants us to be. We are rather important to the human race, us little ladies but unfortunately the story changed with Adam and Eve and we're all a bit lost now I fear, it's not just Britney. The story that women came of the rib is fiction, we never came of the rib, instead women carry BOTH male and female within us and so, perhaps rather than Adam's rib producing Eve it is actually Eve that produces Adam and in fact all of humanity. Not just a one trick pony mind you - it's happening right now somewhere. I'm of course talking about the Earth and universe itself which produces all (and personified by woman or mother) and which was once worshiped in its own right favoured only much, much later for another deity: God (personified by man or father).
I'm not going to turn this into religious bashing because this is purely social commentary but the point is - civilisations are built and ruined on the back of a story but stories change, the way we live now - our politics, our degradation or choices or whatever, is due basically to a fundamental shift away from the way we viewed those stories back then not because we are living in the way it should be or because it is the natural order of all things. Things change - the way of the world is not ever absolute. I'm saying this to make a rather pertinent point about stories (both his and hers) here - not to point fingers. We both have our stories and us women just happened to forget ours.
This is why when you have someone a little bit different making a big ruckus about the way things are and how they should change then you just have to listen because it's apparent that the way things are has only worked for so long because us girls have accepted it, owned it and are now producing it ourselves.
I truly think that the most effective form of control is not overt but that which has the consent of whom you're controlling. I mean, it's harder to control those that kick and scream and bite and are willing to die just to get away from that control than it is to control one who not only agrees but comes up with their own punishment.
Why then, do women partake in it? Is it because we're making the best of a bad situation? Is it because we've forgotten where we come from? Your guess is as good as mine.
But back to music. I wanted to go back to that idea of woman in skimpy bikini in a soft porn video clip singing songs that aren't her own versus a woman with an opinion and a musical instrument. One sells more than the other. One is loved more by men. One is revered more - but it's not because of her music. If Meatloaf sang that Umbrella song by Rhianna then he'd be laughed off stage - career over (okay it's already over). But the song is a hit, so obviously something is not adding up here! The song is not a hit because the song is fantastic, alas the song is the most annoying, overplayed piece of garbage I've heard in a long time. If a serious artist sang it while wearing jeans and boots and who didn't shave their pits and then gave an interview talking about gender politics then it wouldn't be a hit at all.
So what exactly is the function of these sexy women in music? It's not the music. It's the sex - and why indeed isn't the sex the same for male artists then? While JT might dance up a storm and [insert boy band here] might make the girls scream there isn't quite the same level of porn factor going on as is done with women in music. Men are sexy but the level of degradation isn't the same - not by a long shot and I won't hear one word that says otherwise. I've got nothing against sexing it up, but then again I think that there are a lot of things that are sexy apart from the greased up plastic boobs of the video clips of today. I'd like to "bring sexy back" in terms of musical ability or being able to convey emotion, or being outspoken or funny or strong and talented or something like that. I'd like to see sexy happen in a way that isn't about women doing whatever they are doing right now on video clips on Saturday morning on channel 10. That stuff, it's not only bullshit but it's harmful to our self image and we've had a long time of it and now it's time for everyone to realise that all of us being outraged by Maddison Gabriel being so young and being a model and sexy video clips on Saturday morning television are actually related. The culture is ripe for Maddison Gabriel type "stuff" - haven't you ever wondered about why?
So what do we do girls (and for anyone who cares about us)? Do you say something and risk being ostracised or do you just let it happen and partake in it? Or, do we find little avenues in the way we live now to carve new ways into the future?
Speaking of avenues in the way things are now. A few weeks ago while watching Australian Idol one of the contestants sang the song that I'm about to play for MM today. It's a great song. I mean GREAT! It's not quite Idol though. It's too confronting for idol - it was performed originally by a woman who weighs over 200 pounds, says what she thinks, is a lesbian and rather non-conformist and totally sexy. Obviously, Beth Ditto not going to make it big in today's mainstream Umbrella type musical climate. Obviously *that* particular Idol contestant was voted out the next week - not because of the context of the song and not because of Beth Ditto, I'd doubt that anyone even knows her, but because that performance itself was very different... It wasn't a great performance, granted - but it was just too different for Idol anyway. And that's the point - you can see how choices are sometimes made for us. If that contestant had performed a more conventional, sexier routine she might still be there this week, closer to her musical dream - but then I might not have heard the song. Funny how things like choices and control work.
Before I play the song I have to finish with this. Something that is actually at the core of all my beliefs in gender politics - men are women ..perhaps we should never, ever look at gender as a form of labeling - the world would be a far better place if we recognised that everyone is individual, no one is better than any other, everyone is scared, everyone is looking for a way to make their lives better, to love, to live or just to survive. Everyone is the same and different at the same time. A much better way to live - if only, huh?
The world unfortunately is drawn in gender lines no matter how you view it and there are still inequalities that need to be addressed and by God (or Adam's rib) I will have my say as should you, whether you agree or not.
So, on that and closer to the song. I came across a quote by Beth Ditto, lead vocalist for The Gossip on gender and difference.
"Women aren't cats, we aren't pets, we are just people trying to cross the freaking street to get an ice-cream cone."
I like it. Basically we're really not so different are we? Maybe the way we are viewed should be addressed now (instead of swept under that oh so reductive 'but it's their choice' statement you hear so often) so that girls who are still children now have a bit of a chance to realise that these badly behaved girls and soft porn video clip stars are actually not really what we want to be. Or are they? Our choice? Quite - let's make better ones.
Standing in the Way of control - The Gossip
(a song about Gay rights actually, but it works for most situations I think).
Last week, I posted an entry about the child model Maddison Gabriel and mused about the fashion industry using someone who is not a woman to represent women on the catwalk. Obviously, I was pissed about it, with good reason I think. Then I finished up that post with a Tori Amos suggestion that those girls like Britney Spears, girls who had lost their way, bare crotch girls who behave badly, need a mother. I've been thinking a lot about this lately. By lately, I mean, my whole adult life.
The Maddion Gabriel thing from a week or so ago highlighted to me one thing with absolute certainty and that is that: the status quo does. Not. Work. For. Women. and anyone who thinks it does is completely berko. It doesn't work in the first world and it doesn't work in the 3rd world. I shouldn't have to spell out why it doesn't work but in case you need it have a look at violence on the streets, sex, religion, fashion, education, corporation, politics and capitalism for a taste of that why. I don't even think it works for men either, to tell you the truth - but if we're going to compare (and yes we are) then well, you're not seeing 12 year old boys being sexualised by the media. You wouldn't see men standing for that either - which is an important point. Us girls, in terms of media representation and politics allow ourselves to be degraded - and then some of us actively take part in that degradation. That's why you have someone like Maddison Gabriel saying that it's all she ever wanted to do. That old gem: "It's my choice".
People get confused a bit about the difference between women's choice and women making the only choice they can in a situation that is not quite the best. I get confused because some choices seem really dumb, also some choices are applauded and some are not. For instance, musically speaking why is it accepted and applauded for a woman to wear a skimpy bikini in a soft porn video clip while allowing some fat pig of a producer to write their songs for them and market them to young girls and horny boys in a way that has nothing to do with music at all. Whereas it's not quite the same for a curvaceous, outspoken lesbian woman to write her own lyrics that are political and demonstrative. The first will have a lot of success because she fits into the accepted role of female as valued by both men and women - the other will struggle both musically and socially. Which choice would you make, the easy road or the high (and harder) road? Taking the easy road propagates the myth - taking the high road changes things but ultimately means that you might be ostricised. Some choices are easier to make than others and some choices are made for those who don't have the guts to stand up and fight against them.
When I quoted that Tori Amos little ditty about Britney needing a mother, I wasn't really thinking about the tennis club attending, SUV driving (quick, key it!), latte drinking, hot MILFS of the Eastern suburbs. I was thinking about women paying attention to who we are, and where we have come from rather than what society wants us to be. We are rather important to the human race, us little ladies but unfortunately the story changed with Adam and Eve and we're all a bit lost now I fear, it's not just Britney. The story that women came of the rib is fiction, we never came of the rib, instead women carry BOTH male and female within us and so, perhaps rather than Adam's rib producing Eve it is actually Eve that produces Adam and in fact all of humanity. Not just a one trick pony mind you - it's happening right now somewhere. I'm of course talking about the Earth and universe itself which produces all (and personified by woman or mother) and which was once worshiped in its own right favoured only much, much later for another deity: God (personified by man or father).
I'm not going to turn this into religious bashing because this is purely social commentary but the point is - civilisations are built and ruined on the back of a story but stories change, the way we live now - our politics, our degradation or choices or whatever, is due basically to a fundamental shift away from the way we viewed those stories back then not because we are living in the way it should be or because it is the natural order of all things. Things change - the way of the world is not ever absolute. I'm saying this to make a rather pertinent point about stories (both his and hers) here - not to point fingers. We both have our stories and us women just happened to forget ours.
This is why when you have someone a little bit different making a big ruckus about the way things are and how they should change then you just have to listen because it's apparent that the way things are has only worked for so long because us girls have accepted it, owned it and are now producing it ourselves.
I truly think that the most effective form of control is not overt but that which has the consent of whom you're controlling. I mean, it's harder to control those that kick and scream and bite and are willing to die just to get away from that control than it is to control one who not only agrees but comes up with their own punishment.
Why then, do women partake in it? Is it because we're making the best of a bad situation? Is it because we've forgotten where we come from? Your guess is as good as mine.
But back to music. I wanted to go back to that idea of woman in skimpy bikini in a soft porn video clip singing songs that aren't her own versus a woman with an opinion and a musical instrument. One sells more than the other. One is loved more by men. One is revered more - but it's not because of her music. If Meatloaf sang that Umbrella song by Rhianna then he'd be laughed off stage - career over (okay it's already over). But the song is a hit, so obviously something is not adding up here! The song is not a hit because the song is fantastic, alas the song is the most annoying, overplayed piece of garbage I've heard in a long time. If a serious artist sang it while wearing jeans and boots and who didn't shave their pits and then gave an interview talking about gender politics then it wouldn't be a hit at all.
So what exactly is the function of these sexy women in music? It's not the music. It's the sex - and why indeed isn't the sex the same for male artists then? While JT might dance up a storm and [insert boy band here] might make the girls scream there isn't quite the same level of porn factor going on as is done with women in music. Men are sexy but the level of degradation isn't the same - not by a long shot and I won't hear one word that says otherwise. I've got nothing against sexing it up, but then again I think that there are a lot of things that are sexy apart from the greased up plastic boobs of the video clips of today. I'd like to "bring sexy back" in terms of musical ability or being able to convey emotion, or being outspoken or funny or strong and talented or something like that. I'd like to see sexy happen in a way that isn't about women doing whatever they are doing right now on video clips on Saturday morning on channel 10. That stuff, it's not only bullshit but it's harmful to our self image and we've had a long time of it and now it's time for everyone to realise that all of us being outraged by Maddison Gabriel being so young and being a model and sexy video clips on Saturday morning television are actually related. The culture is ripe for Maddison Gabriel type "stuff" - haven't you ever wondered about why?
So what do we do girls (and for anyone who cares about us)? Do you say something and risk being ostracised or do you just let it happen and partake in it? Or, do we find little avenues in the way we live now to carve new ways into the future?
Speaking of avenues in the way things are now. A few weeks ago while watching Australian Idol one of the contestants sang the song that I'm about to play for MM today. It's a great song. I mean GREAT! It's not quite Idol though. It's too confronting for idol - it was performed originally by a woman who weighs over 200 pounds, says what she thinks, is a lesbian and rather non-conformist and totally sexy. Obviously, Beth Ditto not going to make it big in today's mainstream Umbrella type musical climate. Obviously *that* particular Idol contestant was voted out the next week - not because of the context of the song and not because of Beth Ditto, I'd doubt that anyone even knows her, but because that performance itself was very different... It wasn't a great performance, granted - but it was just too different for Idol anyway. And that's the point - you can see how choices are sometimes made for us. If that contestant had performed a more conventional, sexier routine she might still be there this week, closer to her musical dream - but then I might not have heard the song. Funny how things like choices and control work.
Before I play the song I have to finish with this. Something that is actually at the core of all my beliefs in gender politics - men are women ..perhaps we should never, ever look at gender as a form of labeling - the world would be a far better place if we recognised that everyone is individual, no one is better than any other, everyone is scared, everyone is looking for a way to make their lives better, to love, to live or just to survive. Everyone is the same and different at the same time. A much better way to live - if only, huh?
The world unfortunately is drawn in gender lines no matter how you view it and there are still inequalities that need to be addressed and by God (or Adam's rib) I will have my say as should you, whether you agree or not.
So, on that and closer to the song. I came across a quote by Beth Ditto, lead vocalist for The Gossip on gender and difference.
"Women aren't cats, we aren't pets, we are just people trying to cross the freaking street to get an ice-cream cone."
I like it. Basically we're really not so different are we? Maybe the way we are viewed should be addressed now (instead of swept under that oh so reductive 'but it's their choice' statement you hear so often) so that girls who are still children now have a bit of a chance to realise that these badly behaved girls and soft porn video clip stars are actually not really what we want to be. Or are they? Our choice? Quite - let's make better ones.
Standing in the Way of control - The Gossip
(a song about Gay rights actually, but it works for most situations I think).
Labels: choices, denial, dirty femmo, femininity, gender stuff, media, men, musical monday, pop culture, women
Tuesday, September 18, 2007
quatro
* I had a strange blogger dream last night. It involved a mass blogger meet up, but felt more like High school. I liked High School in so far that I was totally happy doing my dance and drama, hanging out with my friends, singing show tunes in class and laughing a lot.. a hell of a lot (obviously I wasn't one of the popular elite). Apart from that I pretty much hated everyone else in High School and much like Erica Yurken from my one of my favourite childhood novels Hating Alison Ashley, I was always in the sick bay with a made up illness of some sort hoping to get out of 6th period Science with Mr K (he wore canary yellow).
The blogger meet up reminded me a little of my 10 year High School reunion (yes, unfortunately I did go...). I recognised some people, I think I recognised others and some I had no idea about. The whole thing was rather awkwardly surreal and I felt a little out of place. Which is incidentally how I alway feel - so at least that wasn't new. Just when things were looking very sad indeed Helena Bonham Carter turned up and sat right next to me. I'm not sure if she has a blog or not but it was marvelous of her anyway. She kelp scrunching her curls and looked a little flustered and distracted though - which funnily enough is exactly how I feel at the moment.
* The movie project is due tomorrow. Today, the new Dawson Leary was instructed to chain himself to the computer and edit the thing until it was done (day...what? 8 of editing?). Of course I was stuck in the AR with a bunch of homicidal children also known as my grade 3 art class (yes, yes okay fine I was the homicidal one) who for some reason were all concentrated on two girls in the grade squabbling with each other.
I got rather sick of the back and forth "but she said..." stuff and in a moment of utter frustration exclaimed to the whole grade in a loud and rather hysterical voice OH FOR GOODNESS SAKE (would love to swear for once), AS A MATTER Of INTEREST PUT UP YOUR HAND IF YOU ARE ANNOYED BY * and * ARGUING? Every single child in the grade put up their hand including one of the said squabblers (amusing). Then I put up my hand and so did the parent helper who had come in to do a yarn spinning demonstration (haha). The other squabbler and only person with their hand down looked mortified. I stopped the Art lesson right there and we talked about ways to avoid getting into arguments. It was the first time in a while for that grade that everyone worked cooperatively to come up with a solution (amazing how 'if you don't get along maybe don't sit together' is such a simple solution and and yet so effective). I'm not sure if highlighting that the whole class basically thought these two girls were idiots was the right way to go in teacher-land but sometimes kids need a dose of reality. They were being idiots.
Anyway, being stuck in the AR with a bunch of children meant that I could not keep an eye on Dawson Leary II and the movie editing. So when I turned up to the lab and saw him working on the DIRECTORS CUT of our 3 minute movie (including bloopers and outtakes and a credit reel, gangsta style) I went ballistic! Meanwhile the actual movie wasn't yet finished and I had big problems with a missing consent of release form (which by the way is still missing and by the way the fate of our movie depends on me finding it). So the film is still not finished and we are down a consent of release form. I have no way of actually supervising these children AND teach a grade at the same time AND actually get the tape to the co-ordinator all by tomorrow so the only thing left for me to do is have a complete nervous breakdown. Dawson Leary II, saw me hitting my head against the table today and said Oh Miss F, you and *producer* both stress too much! Doooooooooooontworryaboutit!. Serenity now! How do I get myself into these things?
* I had my review with Prin yesterday afternoon. I prepared like a champion (which means not starting the thinking process until about midnight the night before, pulling an all nighter and working through my lunch break and planning hour the next day) and we had a fine chat about next year. If she doesn't change her mind (anything goes with Prin) then I shall be back in the classroom next year with a day out of the room every week to supervise a Media Art extension group. This is very exciting and should keep me interested and challenged next year - and also answers the aforementioned question: How do I get myself into these things? Sigh. Surely Dawson Leary III will be a winner.
* It's amazing just how many people are searching for that blasted Maddison Gabriel on the net and coming up with my journal. Wouldn't it be great if they WEREN'T looking for child porn and instead were motivated by a distaste of the fashion and beauty industry and the unrealistic pressures it puts on women? Wouldn't it be fabulous if every one of them said 'hey, you know - this sucks and so I'm going to be outspoken about this too'? That would be great. God, I hope they're not looking for porn.
The blogger meet up reminded me a little of my 10 year High School reunion (yes, unfortunately I did go...). I recognised some people, I think I recognised others and some I had no idea about. The whole thing was rather awkwardly surreal and I felt a little out of place. Which is incidentally how I alway feel - so at least that wasn't new. Just when things were looking very sad indeed Helena Bonham Carter turned up and sat right next to me. I'm not sure if she has a blog or not but it was marvelous of her anyway. She kelp scrunching her curls and looked a little flustered and distracted though - which funnily enough is exactly how I feel at the moment.
* The movie project is due tomorrow. Today, the new Dawson Leary was instructed to chain himself to the computer and edit the thing until it was done (day...what? 8 of editing?). Of course I was stuck in the AR with a bunch of homicidal children also known as my grade 3 art class (yes, yes okay fine I was the homicidal one) who for some reason were all concentrated on two girls in the grade squabbling with each other.
I got rather sick of the back and forth "but she said..." stuff and in a moment of utter frustration exclaimed to the whole grade in a loud and rather hysterical voice OH FOR GOODNESS SAKE (would love to swear for once), AS A MATTER Of INTEREST PUT UP YOUR HAND IF YOU ARE ANNOYED BY * and * ARGUING? Every single child in the grade put up their hand including one of the said squabblers (amusing). Then I put up my hand and so did the parent helper who had come in to do a yarn spinning demonstration (haha). The other squabbler and only person with their hand down looked mortified. I stopped the Art lesson right there and we talked about ways to avoid getting into arguments. It was the first time in a while for that grade that everyone worked cooperatively to come up with a solution (amazing how 'if you don't get along maybe don't sit together' is such a simple solution and and yet so effective). I'm not sure if highlighting that the whole class basically thought these two girls were idiots was the right way to go in teacher-land but sometimes kids need a dose of reality. They were being idiots.
Anyway, being stuck in the AR with a bunch of children meant that I could not keep an eye on Dawson Leary II and the movie editing. So when I turned up to the lab and saw him working on the DIRECTORS CUT of our 3 minute movie (including bloopers and outtakes and a credit reel, gangsta style) I went ballistic! Meanwhile the actual movie wasn't yet finished and I had big problems with a missing consent of release form (which by the way is still missing and by the way the fate of our movie depends on me finding it). So the film is still not finished and we are down a consent of release form. I have no way of actually supervising these children AND teach a grade at the same time AND actually get the tape to the co-ordinator all by tomorrow so the only thing left for me to do is have a complete nervous breakdown. Dawson Leary II, saw me hitting my head against the table today and said Oh Miss F, you and *producer* both stress too much! Doooooooooooontworryaboutit!. Serenity now! How do I get myself into these things?
* I had my review with Prin yesterday afternoon. I prepared like a champion (which means not starting the thinking process until about midnight the night before, pulling an all nighter and working through my lunch break and planning hour the next day) and we had a fine chat about next year. If she doesn't change her mind (anything goes with Prin) then I shall be back in the classroom next year with a day out of the room every week to supervise a Media Art extension group. This is very exciting and should keep me interested and challenged next year - and also answers the aforementioned question: How do I get myself into these things? Sigh. Surely Dawson Leary III will be a winner.
* It's amazing just how many people are searching for that blasted Maddison Gabriel on the net and coming up with my journal. Wouldn't it be great if they WEREN'T looking for child porn and instead were motivated by a distaste of the fashion and beauty industry and the unrealistic pressures it puts on women? Wouldn't it be fabulous if every one of them said 'hey, you know - this sucks and so I'm going to be outspoken about this too'? That would be great. God, I hope they're not looking for porn.
Labels: blogs, dirty femmo, friends, gender stuff, girls and women, media, miscellany, models, movies, school, stressed teachers, teacher dramas, Yoko woman
Saturday, September 15, 2007
Needing a Mother.
Here we have Maddison Gabriel. I bet if you were single you'd buy her a drink (or two) and flirt shamelessly with her if you came across her - or maybe you'd just sit back and perve - you're allowed it's what boys do, don't worry! I mean she has a great set of pins and I can say that because well she's on a catwalk and she's wearing a miniskirt and well...dude she's a model and she's there so that gay men can admire the dress, women can feel inferior (and yes okay admire the fashion) and straight men can oggle her legs. I know I'm not too far off the mark.The problem is that she's twelve.
This is a problem. This is a BIG problem because if a 12 year old is the best representative as the face of Gold Coast Fashion Week then it's no wonder that any women or girl over the age of 14 is completely and utterly fucked when it comes to body image. How in the hell can someone who might not even have her first period yet be a "model" that represents the rest of us? Kids are not the same as adults and I have a humongous problem with the 'if she's enjoying it then let her do it' argument that has been passed around. Okay, smartarses would you let your 12 year old get married to your 45 year old neighbour if she said she wanted to? Probably not..why? Because 12 is a kid and 12 has no idea what 12 wants and 12 needs to be protected even if 12 looks more like 18.
You don't see 12 year old boys representing 25 year old men on the catwalk do you? That's because
1) Society is not obsessed with men looking young.
2) Boys don't look like men.
Girls don't look like women either but this girl looks older than her years and that's the point. She has all the youth of 12 but with a body that looks slightly older no woman wants to actually look like a 12 year old tom boy but take a body of a 17 or 18 year old with the skin of a 12 year old and you have one big confusing message for women that is: "woman" as represented by the media can NEVER, EVER be achieved no matter how hard we try. Since "woman" represented by the media is our primary image/model for women in this society then that's a pretty fucked up message. The other prime image of women for women are our mothers, but more about that later.
Enter Maddison Gabriel; the perfect unreachable target which is the whole message of the modeling industry if you ask me. 30 year old skin does not have the same elasticity as 12 year old skin, though we'd love it to. There is a rather dangerous propensity for the media to admire and reward females who look younger than their age. Take a look at the straight up and down models who have graced the catwalks over the last 20 or so years. Thin, boyish and very weak looking. This to me screams of young girl. I don't understand how they can be our "models" but there you have it - apparently it makes the dresses hang better. I laugh my head off at this since it's actually women who end up wearing fashion on the streets, not bloody coat hangers.
Anyway, Maddison Gabriel has come out laughing about the whole deal because she thinks it's funny that anyone would be fussed with such a thing. Her mother is also perplexed by the furor in the media and is feeling as though next people will come out and say that she's a bad mother - when all she's doing is letting her daughter do something that SHE wants to do. Well said mum, I mean child stars are never known for going COMPLETELY off the rails are they? *cough*
You know what I wanted to do when I was 12? Marry Tom Selleck and eat only hubba bubba gum for the rest of my life. Yep, being 12 I really should have been allowed to pursue those dreams of mine. I'm still upset by not being allowed to eat only bubble gum and marry Tom Selleck - instead my mother made to stay in school and eat three balanced meals a day.
Speaking of needing mothers.
The best comment I have heard on Britney Spears has come from Tori Amos at her concert on Tuesday at Hamer Hall where she sang a little ditty as her response to the media laughing about Britney Spears. If you click on the link it takes you to Perez Hilton's site where there is audio of the song and the lyrics.Britney, they set you up
But you drank from their cup
Britney, they set you up
Oh, but this is what it looks like, love,
This is what is looks like
When a star falls down
When a star falls down
Well, maybe you’re a mother
But you still need your mother
Yes, I may be a mother
But I still need a mother
To pick me up
Yes, to pick me up
When it all falls down
I'm not one for excessive lyric posting but I thought this was all extremely topical not only for Britney and Maddison but for too many young female Hollywood stars who have fallen down in a heap over the past 5 years. Girls, what is going on? What are we becoming? Meg White has also eluded to this issue in the song Passive Manipulation where she sings
Women, listen to your mothers
don't just succumb to the wishes of your brothers
take a step back, take a look at one another
you need to know the difference, between a father and a lover
I know this is turning into a bit of a Musical Monday post but I have to say, yes I think there is definitely a place for politics in music and when put so eloquently then yes I agree. I found the Britney performance and subsequent media feeding frenzy sad because girls when Pete Doherty does it, people aren't laughing quite as hard at him are they? He's not regarded as pathetic, or as unhinged as Brit - though, clearly while he is talented he is that pathetic and unhinged.
I also came across this quote where Tori (again) says of Britney and other young starlets like her
"You see a lot of women today -- maybe in magazines -- crawling out of cars and thinking it's sexy," Amos recently told Spinner. "[And] for the most part, you don't hear guys going, 'Wow! I am just blown away by that beauty or by that woman's way. There's something about her.' No. Do you know what they do? They laugh. They laugh when we're spreading our legs and crawling out of a car. It's tragic. Ultimately, we demean ourselves."
What the hell is going on with these girls? Is it a lack of mothering that is to blame? Are we trying too hard to keep up with the boys? Are women just dumb? Is culture ripe for tearing women down while we support and encourage that with our own actions? Have we been set up? Should our role models be our mothers rather than our daughters and younger sisters?
Labels: Britney they set you up, comment, dirty femmo, girls and women, media, models, music, musical monday, political musings, pop culture, wonderings, Yoko woman
Wednesday, July 25, 2007
What Women Want
I have this little issue getting up in the mornings. I hate the alarm, you see. So instead of the alarm beeping I have the radio come on instead. The problem is that when the DJs have something interesting to say I end up staying in bed and listening to them instead of getting ready for work. Lately I've been pushing that "late" button to work because the last week or so has seen Hughsey and Kate (I know, I KNOW I hate the music too - please someone stab Fergie and that Umbrella (ella, ella, ella eh eh eh) chick with a blunt butter knife!) talking about "what women want".
The whole discussion started with Hughsey arguing that women are too hard to figure out, they ask for too much and they've got it so good. Meanwhile Kate's angry schpeil on the radio show says it ALL about what we DO and what we PUT UP WITH when it comes to men in relationships. Sometimes men have no idea about these things that go on, even when they are IN the relationship! You need to go listen to it (ignore the interview with Kevin Rudd in the first few minutes).
Hughsey and Kate Podcast
She also goes on to say that we realise when we're loved by men but that it should be demonstrated because a lot of what we do IN relationships IS demonstrative of our feelings. Obviously we realise that there are men who do the right thing but they're not in the fat part of the bell curve at all. They're in the skinny end that tapers off around the 10-15% mark - just like the really horrid ones lay at the OTHER end in the bottom 10-15% mark. Just like we women are. So put down the angry "but you said that ALL men..." remark. I said nothing of the sort. :P
They've continued the discussion throughout the week with many a woman AND man ringing to confirm the truth of what goes on in relationships between men and women.
I think it was Hughsey who proclaimed "well what do women want anyway?" and that prompted the making of a list of "what women REALLY want" from men.
You want the list? I think it's pretty good. It's not filled with money, bling, and bullshit either - and it's endorsed by the women who rang up and the radio station.
All these were discussed in a lot more detail on the radio shows and all were brought up as points that we feel there is room for improvement. What do you think? Is this what you want? Is the list complete? I think it's spot on. It's not shallow or tongue in cheek. It cuts right down to the heart of the matter. We want you to respect us, acknowledge us, love us and treat us preciously. Shouldn't you?
Guys what do you think? Are you the perfect guy or is there room for improvement? I wonder what a list of "what men want" would look like? Really, what DO you want? How can we please you?
* I didn't explain earlier that this is NOT a list about what women *look for* in a man before they get him. So not just a random guy. It's about what we want WITHIN a LONG TERM relationship that already exists!
The whole discussion started with Hughsey arguing that women are too hard to figure out, they ask for too much and they've got it so good. Meanwhile Kate's angry schpeil on the radio show says it ALL about what we DO and what we PUT UP WITH when it comes to men in relationships. Sometimes men have no idea about these things that go on, even when they are IN the relationship! You need to go listen to it (ignore the interview with Kevin Rudd in the first few minutes).
Hughsey and Kate Podcast
She also goes on to say that we realise when we're loved by men but that it should be demonstrated because a lot of what we do IN relationships IS demonstrative of our feelings. Obviously we realise that there are men who do the right thing but they're not in the fat part of the bell curve at all. They're in the skinny end that tapers off around the 10-15% mark - just like the really horrid ones lay at the OTHER end in the bottom 10-15% mark. Just like we women are. So put down the angry "but you said that ALL men..." remark. I said nothing of the sort. :P
They've continued the discussion throughout the week with many a woman AND man ringing to confirm the truth of what goes on in relationships between men and women.
I think it was Hughsey who proclaimed "well what do women want anyway?" and that prompted the making of a list of "what women REALLY want" from men.
You want the list? I think it's pretty good. It's not filled with money, bling, and bullshit either - and it's endorsed by the women who rang up and the radio station.
What Women Want*
* Acknowledgement for what we do
* To be looked after when we're sick.
* The abolition of slavery (ours)
* To be listened to when we talk
* To be romanced (pash us passionately)
* Affection (without promise of result)
* Honesty
* Equality
* Security - to love and be loved without doubt
* Respect.
All these were discussed in a lot more detail on the radio shows and all were brought up as points that we feel there is room for improvement. What do you think? Is this what you want? Is the list complete? I think it's spot on. It's not shallow or tongue in cheek. It cuts right down to the heart of the matter. We want you to respect us, acknowledge us, love us and treat us preciously. Shouldn't you?
Guys what do you think? Are you the perfect guy or is there room for improvement? I wonder what a list of "what men want" would look like? Really, what DO you want? How can we please you?
* I didn't explain earlier that this is NOT a list about what women *look for* in a man before they get him. So not just a random guy. It's about what we want WITHIN a LONG TERM relationship that already exists!
Labels: media, men, what men don't see, what women want, women
Saturday, July 14, 2007
Guest Post!!!!
Hi,My name is (allegedly) Mark Philippoussis, but you may know me more commonly as The Poo. No idea why people call me that, apparently there's a double entendre in there somewhere but I don't know what that means either.
I went to school at some famous College in Melbourne. It's basically a private school for people who have more money than brains and where a lot of drugs are bought and sold (allegedly). Aces! Not that school mattered much to me, mind you. I always had one vision, one goal, one dream and that dream was to become the world's greatest casanova.
Dad thought I should have a fall back career so he coached me right into the Australian Open Tennis Championships. I told dad it was a no-go but he wouldn't have any of that crap. He wanted me to have a good career, one that would be stable and see me through to retirement. Professional tennis is not very demanding and therefore perfect for that so I reluctantly agreed. Soon I was winning tournaments but it was distracting me from my true goal of (allegedly) romancing young teenage girls so I picked up my game on that instead. At first this was okay because, I too was a young teenager - but now that I'm 31(ish) I find it hard to explain my (very alleged) love for the young ones. No one is buying "I just tripped and my (alleged) penis fell into her (alleged) vagina" anymore. Mostly because it's alleged or sumthing.
When I won my first few big games at the open I bought myself a Lamborghini and a Hummer. People wondered why I would need a car like a Hummer in Melbourne, but these people obviously don't know what a rugged terrain it is out there. It's jungle and crocodiles everywhere! And I mean EVERYWHERE!Anyway, dad was (allegedly) getting angry that I was spending all my money on cars and girls so I fired him as coach. Then I started losing games and my knee went to shit. But I'll give you the hot tip - even though I was already a washed up tennis has-been (at 26ish) I was already primed for my true calling of casanova. Aces, I was loving myself sick!
I (allegedly) admit that I may have been a shithouse tennis player with a lucky serve but if there's one thing I'm good at, it's treating the ladies fine.
Ask any of my girlfriends and they'll tell you what a catch I was (and still am). Don't ask Delta Goodrem though. I know she had cancer and needed "support" from me at the time because I was her "boyfriend" and "one true love" but dude, PARIS HILTON wanted to have (alleged) skanky anonymous SEX with me. I'm talking PENIS and VAGINA. Would you pass that up? Girlfriend is fiiiiiiine (and totally classy). No idea how the media got a hold of that one.
Then I (allegedly) got involved with a...err ...girl but kept it on the down low up until she turned 18 and then it was ON. Suddenly we were all set to get married and have a big fat Greek wedding except ..it didn't happen. She wasn't even Greek!
I was a bit sad about that. She was perfect for me. I mean, she was just out of high school..but she was still perfect for me. Come to think of it, I didn't really know that much about her - but she was HOT, SMOKIN' HOT! My friends are like, 'Poo, you need to settle down with women who have substance and start looking for qualities in a girl that go beyond the superficial' and I'm like "It's not just about their cha-chas man, I totally care about what they wear too, I care about their hair, and hot sex. I'm the least superficial guy I know. I live in Las Vegas guys. I'm totally about keeping it real". They just shake their heads and feel sorry for me for some reason.
The truth is, I really *don't* get why I haven't married and settled down yet. I'm TOTALLY open to falling into true love with a girl as long as she's young and hot and an 11 out of 10. I may be a (allegedly) a bozo with a crap personality and a washed up career with nothing to offer a prospective wife and future mother of my children, but I deserve a hottie, dammit. I just don't get why I don't get everything I ask for. It's soooo unfair!!!
Anyway, I was playing with my new little puppy a few months ago when I got a call from my manager. He said "guess what the Age of Love is?" and I'm like (totally made up) "Bazza, mate I have no idea..what? Is it.. like 15 and a half?" and he's like "not over the phone Mark... And no, it's the new television show you're going to be staring in! We're going to find you a wife!".
I was sooooo excited I squealed.
After we taped the first episode of the show the producers explained how the show is going to have me picking through two important demographics of women. Young hotties and old hags. I'm thinking "this is going to be sooo easy". They were like "the first group consists of women who are over the age of 40 and the second group are in their 20s" "Sounds good" I said..."That's the old ones taken care of but what about the young hotties?" They explained that the 20 year olds ARE the young hotties! Whoa...what? WHOA.
This sounds like it's going to take a bit of getting used to. Wish me luck!
Labels: alleged, crap reality tele, fake guest post, made up story, media, men, pop culture, TV, women
Tuesday, July 03, 2007
banal entry about BB
So we've come to the business end of Big Brother - the home stretch, the last month, the big hooray, the...something something. Yes we've come to that part of Big Brother where pretty much all the interesting housemates have gone, leaving behind the last generic and typical archetypes that always seem to be present in almost every year the show as been on the tele. I'm past blaming the voting public. I don't vote anyway (I just watch and bitch thanks). But it's apparent that if the producers didn't pick the bland boring ones in the first place then we wouldn't need the hosts of BB complaining about how we always keep them in till last weeks. Maybe, just maybe if they had chosen quality housemates to go INTO the house in the first place, then there wouldn't be any boring ones left at the end yo! I Woo, go channel 10 sock it to us!
Anyway despite all that you know by now that I'm not a subscriber to the patronising philosophy that high brow culture is the only culture worth learning anything off.
Yes, I've got a lot from BB over the years - probably because I'm open to viewing it less as a show and more as a study of human behaviour - which is basically what it was supposed to be (before it went up shit creek - thanks Kris Noble, you suck). I'm fascinated by watching how people act, and while the situation may be a tad contrived it's evident that human emotion and action in it's raw form is not - despite the circumstances of its framing. While people may "act" in the house some of the time, it's those moments where they're not that you get a rare glimpse of the mechanics of society. The way people act in the house says a lot, the way people vote says a lot, the way people do or don't interact with BB and discuss it says a lot too. Folks, I've come to the conclusion that life itself is not pretty.
Anyway, the whole point is that I come from the Birmingham School of cultural studies rather than the Frankfurt. Adorno and Horkheimer can eat my shorts (man). People can create intelligent meaning from all kinds of cultural leanings - whether they be popular or high art. Popular culture is not the downfall of society.
Having said that this entry has nothing to do with intelligence. It's a bitchfest pure and simple. What? Oh I'm allowed.
The final housemates:
Billy
He played it smart by hooking up early with the cute little fluff bunny of the show. You can't hate a cute little fluff bunny, and so why would you hate her boyfriend? CA-CHING! He was doubly smart by not being overly affectionate with his ex-girlfriend who was also on the show. You might remember her as Godzilla.
I can sum him up with only two words; no balls. Where was he when his little fluff bunny got into a screaming match the other night? Looking scared in the corner and diplomatically refusing to get involved that's where. What a champ! I wish he was *my* boyfriend. I'd love someone to treat me like sometimes girl (at night when no one's looking) and then pretty much act indifferent to me during the day. Look how far he's come in the show though? Oh wait, he's white, he's blonde, he's a male and he's so boring you forget he's there half the time. He's a Ken doll. That's all the boxes ticked right there.
Daniella
Intruder. Brazillian. Woman who is a size 12 (-that's size 8 US and about 10 UK I think) - oh nos (I bring it up because she felt the need to defend it herself before even going into the house by laughing off how she liked her body..really). For my money I think she has the hottest bod out of everyone who has been on the show this year! Mostly she's an outspoken female and she was the only housemate who actively campaigned against the boys' club that was forming amongst housemates. You know what this means: he's a fucking GONER! Mark my words.
This is where I find BB most interesting. She is FAR from perfect but she's certainly no worse than anyone else on the show. In fact, although she's backstabbed a couple of people (namely Aleisha by nominating her after explicitly saying she wasn't going to nom any girls), she's still probably the one housemate on there who actually says what she thinks and is pretty consistent. She's also beautiful and she's smart. You'd think considering everyone is a bit of a backstabber and an idiot in there that she'd stand a chance. Nope. Lucky for her she won Friday Night Games the other night and was able to save herself from an earlier eviction.
Joel
He snagged the role as funny guy but god knows how. The man ain't funny! He's just a typical non-confrontational bloke who has been watching Big Brother long enough to know that the funny guy goes a long way on the show. And wait a minute - lookey here - week 10 and he's still on the show. Funny that. Well, not *that* funny actually.
Travis
Thiso is what mates thinko ofo wheno theyo thinko ofo Ostrayla(o) - Steve Irwin without the brains. FOR FUCKS SAKEO! He nominates with rocks! Australia thinks this is endearing apparently. ARE YOU SHITTING ME? Let me repeat that one: He nominates with rocks! He's a metrosexual truckie. He has taken Australian colloquialism to a whole new level (the level of retardedness). No you flaming Galahs, these traits not something he came up with on the spot - it's a PLAN to make him more appealing and memorable to the Australian public! I'm also sick of him adding o to the end of every word he says.
This would be of course, our winner for this year. He's white, he's male, he's non-controversial, he's a larakin. Just write him a farking check already! Hoo roo.
Zoran
If I had to spend time alone in a room with him I'd make sure my mobile phone had reception and someone knew where I was. That is all.
Zach
Too gay to function? Maybe.. but I LOVES him <3. He is quite frankly the only male left in there who knows how to form complete sentences. This is truly a good thing. Sure, we can't procreate with him but it gives us hope anyway (he might turn!).
Zach, listen to me - don't fuck it up by bitching. The downfall of the gay man in BB is that he starts bitching about other housemates. I have no idea why this is a bad thing considering EVERY SINGLE PERSON that has ever entered the BB house is a big bitch but according to history it's worse if a gay person does it. If you had entered the house as a housemate and not as an intruder you'd be gone by now, so I doubt you'll last until the very end but at the moment you're really the only housemate who I don't want to shank and I would love you to win the whole deal.
Michelle
Hoi, fuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuucking hell, YOUSE R THE BIGGEST BOGAN HOUSHMATE EVA. FOR REAL! I'M SHCARED OF YAS. FUCK.
Aleisha
This would be the fluff bunny I mentioned earlier. So cute. So blonde. So young. So what! She's responsible for treating a lot of housemates badly, especially earlier in the season. She's also can't take what she dishes out. I remember her bullying Jamie until he started crying a few weeks ago - and now everyone feels sorry for her because Bogan Bitchface (one up) gave her a serve. Don't get me wrong if Michelle had a go at me I would seriously start shitting my pants and crying too but Fluff bunny has a short memory about it all. She's a total phoney who has been hiding behind her idiot boyfriend (See; no balls) for too long.
Something else interesting about her is that she has come out and said that she likes it when people underestimate her - this is despite the fact that she appears to have a brain cell or two in there. 'Scuse moi? I have never in my life ever heard of a man who would say something like that. This is probably why they are making headlines as leaders of the free and not so free world while girls are busy wondering if their hair looks okay. Yay, girl power! woo.
If Travo the wonder-ocker doesn't win then Fluffy will. Both are blonde, extremely white, display a sense of "oz" in a Reggie Bird kind of way and are generally non-offensive people who will look good on the cover of a magazine. Winnah!
Gretel
Not a housemate, but boy do I wish I could vote her off. Over the years I have defended this woman all over town for her hosting of BB but she's lost whatever made her so good. I always liked the edgy, witty, confrontational and outspoken interviewing style she had - mostly because she was fair. If a housemate was a right bastard then she would hammer into them like a power drill until they hid for cover. I like that in a host. I think people should get their just deserts thank you very much. But this season she's been all backwards about it. She's nice to the ones she wants to shag (even if they are idiots) and mean to the nerdy ones (ie: normal humans). She's no longer edgy, witty and confrontational - she's just a total bitch.
And there is my banal entry about Big Brother.
Anyway despite all that you know by now that I'm not a subscriber to the patronising philosophy that high brow culture is the only culture worth learning anything off.
Yes, I've got a lot from BB over the years - probably because I'm open to viewing it less as a show and more as a study of human behaviour - which is basically what it was supposed to be (before it went up shit creek - thanks Kris Noble, you suck). I'm fascinated by watching how people act, and while the situation may be a tad contrived it's evident that human emotion and action in it's raw form is not - despite the circumstances of its framing. While people may "act" in the house some of the time, it's those moments where they're not that you get a rare glimpse of the mechanics of society. The way people act in the house says a lot, the way people vote says a lot, the way people do or don't interact with BB and discuss it says a lot too. Folks, I've come to the conclusion that life itself is not pretty.
Anyway, the whole point is that I come from the Birmingham School of cultural studies rather than the Frankfurt. Adorno and Horkheimer can eat my shorts (man). People can create intelligent meaning from all kinds of cultural leanings - whether they be popular or high art. Popular culture is not the downfall of society.
Having said that this entry has nothing to do with intelligence. It's a bitchfest pure and simple. What? Oh I'm allowed.
The final housemates:
BillyHe played it smart by hooking up early with the cute little fluff bunny of the show. You can't hate a cute little fluff bunny, and so why would you hate her boyfriend? CA-CHING! He was doubly smart by not being overly affectionate with his ex-girlfriend who was also on the show. You might remember her as Godzilla.
I can sum him up with only two words; no balls. Where was he when his little fluff bunny got into a screaming match the other night? Looking scared in the corner and diplomatically refusing to get involved that's where. What a champ! I wish he was *my* boyfriend. I'd love someone to treat me like sometimes girl (at night when no one's looking) and then pretty much act indifferent to me during the day. Look how far he's come in the show though? Oh wait, he's white, he's blonde, he's a male and he's so boring you forget he's there half the time. He's a Ken doll. That's all the boxes ticked right there.
DaniellaIntruder. Brazillian. Woman who is a size 12 (-that's size 8 US and about 10 UK I think) - oh nos (I bring it up because she felt the need to defend it herself before even going into the house by laughing off how she liked her body..really). For my money I think she has the hottest bod out of everyone who has been on the show this year! Mostly she's an outspoken female and she was the only housemate who actively campaigned against the boys' club that was forming amongst housemates. You know what this means: he's a fucking GONER! Mark my words.
This is where I find BB most interesting. She is FAR from perfect but she's certainly no worse than anyone else on the show. In fact, although she's backstabbed a couple of people (namely Aleisha by nominating her after explicitly saying she wasn't going to nom any girls), she's still probably the one housemate on there who actually says what she thinks and is pretty consistent. She's also beautiful and she's smart. You'd think considering everyone is a bit of a backstabber and an idiot in there that she'd stand a chance. Nope. Lucky for her she won Friday Night Games the other night and was able to save herself from an earlier eviction.
JoelHe snagged the role as funny guy but god knows how. The man ain't funny! He's just a typical non-confrontational bloke who has been watching Big Brother long enough to know that the funny guy goes a long way on the show. And wait a minute - lookey here - week 10 and he's still on the show. Funny that. Well, not *that* funny actually.
TravisThiso is what mates thinko ofo wheno theyo thinko ofo Ostrayla(o) - Steve Irwin without the brains. FOR FUCKS SAKEO! He nominates with rocks! Australia thinks this is endearing apparently. ARE YOU SHITTING ME? Let me repeat that one: He nominates with rocks! He's a metrosexual truckie. He has taken Australian colloquialism to a whole new level (the level of retardedness). No you flaming Galahs, these traits not something he came up with on the spot - it's a PLAN to make him more appealing and memorable to the Australian public! I'm also sick of him adding o to the end of every word he says.
This would be of course, our winner for this year. He's white, he's male, he's non-controversial, he's a larakin. Just write him a farking check already! Hoo roo.
ZoranIf I had to spend time alone in a room with him I'd make sure my mobile phone had reception and someone knew where I was. That is all.
ZachToo gay to function? Maybe.. but I LOVES him <3. He is quite frankly the only male left in there who knows how to form complete sentences. This is truly a good thing. Sure, we can't procreate with him but it gives us hope anyway (he might turn!).
Zach, listen to me - don't fuck it up by bitching. The downfall of the gay man in BB is that he starts bitching about other housemates. I have no idea why this is a bad thing considering EVERY SINGLE PERSON that has ever entered the BB house is a big bitch but according to history it's worse if a gay person does it. If you had entered the house as a housemate and not as an intruder you'd be gone by now, so I doubt you'll last until the very end but at the moment you're really the only housemate who I don't want to shank and I would love you to win the whole deal.
MichelleHoi, fuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuucking hell, YOUSE R THE BIGGEST BOGAN HOUSHMATE EVA. FOR REAL! I'M SHCARED OF YAS. FUCK.
AleishaThis would be the fluff bunny I mentioned earlier. So cute. So blonde. So young. So what! She's responsible for treating a lot of housemates badly, especially earlier in the season. She's also can't take what she dishes out. I remember her bullying Jamie until he started crying a few weeks ago - and now everyone feels sorry for her because Bogan Bitchface (one up) gave her a serve. Don't get me wrong if Michelle had a go at me I would seriously start shitting my pants and crying too but Fluff bunny has a short memory about it all. She's a total phoney who has been hiding behind her idiot boyfriend (See; no balls) for too long.
Something else interesting about her is that she has come out and said that she likes it when people underestimate her - this is despite the fact that she appears to have a brain cell or two in there. 'Scuse moi? I have never in my life ever heard of a man who would say something like that. This is probably why they are making headlines as leaders of the free and not so free world while girls are busy wondering if their hair looks okay. Yay, girl power! woo.
If Travo the wonder-ocker doesn't win then Fluffy will. Both are blonde, extremely white, display a sense of "oz" in a Reggie Bird kind of way and are generally non-offensive people who will look good on the cover of a magazine. Winnah!
GretelNot a housemate, but boy do I wish I could vote her off. Over the years I have defended this woman all over town for her hosting of BB but she's lost whatever made her so good. I always liked the edgy, witty, confrontational and outspoken interviewing style she had - mostly because she was fair. If a housemate was a right bastard then she would hammer into them like a power drill until they hid for cover. I like that in a host. I think people should get their just deserts thank you very much. But this season she's been all backwards about it. She's nice to the ones she wants to shag (even if they are idiots) and mean to the nerdy ones (ie: normal humans). She's no longer edgy, witty and confrontational - she's just a total bitch.
And there is my banal entry about Big Brother.
Labels: big brother, crap reality tele, media, pop culture, TV
Sunday, June 10, 2007
Return to Sender
Dear Sheriff Lee Baca,
Why? Whyyyyyyyy? WHYYYYYYYYYYYYY?
Why did you release Paris Hilton from jail 42 days early? Is it because you saw her as a beautiful damsel in distress? Did you feel sorry for her because she cried? Was it because you were hard up?
Or maybe, you are just an incompetent shit for brains Sheriff that needs to retire ASAP.
Love,
Sick of Dumb Cops.
Dear Paris Hilton,
You are like, so NOT HOT! *giggle*
I bet you thought you were home free when you got released for "home detention" but instead you got served a can of whoop ASS and chucked back in! I laughed my head off, no really I did.
Love,
Not a Fan.
Dear Laura Doyle,
Your book "The Surrendered Wife" claims that a woman who never questions, criticises, or objects to their husband's decisions and demands and furthermore gives over all financial and decision making power to him will have a happy marriage.
DUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUH!
Of course! Why would you ever have a fight with someone who is a plastic sex toy? There's no use fighting with that!
Unfortunately no one informed you that there is this other thing that exists in happy marriages - are you ready? It's called COMPROMISE! I know, it's a new fangled concept but I hear it really works. It's when both wife and husband hear each other out and try to accommodate the other party. Sometimes it works more for one, but sometimes it works more for the other. In the end, if done correctly it all evens out.
But I do agree with you on one thing - yes men should buy their own undies.
Love,
Dirty Femmo.
Dear Other Drivers on the Eastern Freeway on Wednesday Morning,
Did you see that Kangaroo bouncing happily towards the city, right alongside morning traffic?
For a second there I really felt like one of those Aussies that people overseas actually think we are (but aren't).
Wow.
Love,
Amazed Aussie.
Dear Man on Street in North Melbourne Last Night,
When you started moaning I clutched my handbag tight underneath my arm and walked faster but when you actually looked at your hamburger and started talking to it I became a contender for the 100m sprint in the next Olympics.
Are you a few short or did you have a few?
Love,
Chick with Handbag.
Dear Self,
So bro convinced you to go to the football to see the Hawks V Swans. It's been a while since you've been (12 years?) and about that long since you even thought about watching a game so you decided it would be interesting in a performance art kind of way to go.
You started the day like this:
And ended up like this
They can't take you anywhere.
Love,
Me
Dear Your Majesty Queen Blah Blah Blah,
Thank you ever so much for having a birthday so that we, a part of your humble monarchy may partake in a long weekend. Do you realise how excited we all were to have a three day weekend? I'm not a monarchist but I am a fan of public holidays
Cheers,
Fan of Public Holidays.
Why? Whyyyyyyyy? WHYYYYYYYYYYYYY?
Why did you release Paris Hilton from jail 42 days early? Is it because you saw her as a beautiful damsel in distress? Did you feel sorry for her because she cried? Was it because you were hard up?
Or maybe, you are just an incompetent shit for brains Sheriff that needs to retire ASAP.
Love,
Sick of Dumb Cops.
Dear Paris Hilton,
You are like, so NOT HOT! *giggle*
I bet you thought you were home free when you got released for "home detention" but instead you got served a can of whoop ASS and chucked back in! I laughed my head off, no really I did.
Love,
Not a Fan.
Dear Laura Doyle,
Your book "The Surrendered Wife" claims that a woman who never questions, criticises, or objects to their husband's decisions and demands and furthermore gives over all financial and decision making power to him will have a happy marriage.
DUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUH!
Of course! Why would you ever have a fight with someone who is a plastic sex toy? There's no use fighting with that!
Unfortunately no one informed you that there is this other thing that exists in happy marriages - are you ready? It's called COMPROMISE! I know, it's a new fangled concept but I hear it really works. It's when both wife and husband hear each other out and try to accommodate the other party. Sometimes it works more for one, but sometimes it works more for the other. In the end, if done correctly it all evens out.
But I do agree with you on one thing - yes men should buy their own undies.
Love,
Dirty Femmo.
Dear Other Drivers on the Eastern Freeway on Wednesday Morning,
Did you see that Kangaroo bouncing happily towards the city, right alongside morning traffic?
For a second there I really felt like one of those Aussies that people overseas actually think we are (but aren't).
Wow.
Love,
Amazed Aussie.
Dear Man on Street in North Melbourne Last Night,
When you started moaning I clutched my handbag tight underneath my arm and walked faster but when you actually looked at your hamburger and started talking to it I became a contender for the 100m sprint in the next Olympics.
Are you a few short or did you have a few?
Love,
Chick with Handbag.
Dear Self,
So bro convinced you to go to the football to see the Hawks V Swans. It's been a while since you've been (12 years?) and about that long since you even thought about watching a game so you decided it would be interesting in a performance art kind of way to go.
You started the day like this:
"How now brown cow?"
And ended up like this
"Come on Dover, MOVE YER BLOOMIN' ARSE!"
They can't take you anywhere.
Love,
Me
Dear Your Majesty Queen Blah Blah Blah,
Thank you ever so much for having a birthday so that we, a part of your humble monarchy may partake in a long weekend. Do you realise how excited we all were to have a three day weekend? I'm not a monarchist but I am a fan of public holidays
Cheers,
Fan of Public Holidays.
Labels: dirty femmo, letters, media
Sunday, May 20, 2007
dodgy or not?
* The papers are talking about how Kylie Minogue is constantly being snapped having lunch, having brunch, having dinner, having sex..err..not the last bit but speculation is rife - with a married guy. She affirms they are that old adage of "just friends" and furthermore she has never cheated on one of her boyfriends and feels that would be immoral. Meanwhile married guy hasn't said anything much and his heavily pregnant wife has been wondering what the fuck is going on. She eventually came out with the old gem of saying how sorry she was that Kylie is getting a bad reputation. Great comeback me thinks. She's not accusing anyone but she's making it perfectly clear that: when it comes to married men no body is quite innocent even if you are being ..innocent. Indeed, wasn't it always Kylie who was rushing to the side of her numerous boyfriends when they were having a "just friends" dinner with another woman?
Even if nothing is going on, the situation is dodgy as all fuck and yes, her rep *is* under scrutiny here and so it should be. I don't know how often two friends of the opposite sex dine alone on a yacht or dine alone anywhere but hey. Don't friends go out in public places or hang out watching DVDs or make a night of it by ensuring the other gets picked up in a noisy bar? As I said, dodgy as all fuck even if it really IS nothing. Why wasn't the wife invited? The one thing I've learned that about 90% of the time the couple goes places together. There are some friends I just don't see anymore unless they are with their partner. Dinner invite? Invite both. Wedding invite? Invite both. Movies? Invite both. Parties/birthday dinners? Invite both. There are times when the couple certainly *doesn't* do stuff together (ie: the boys weekend etc) but usually, it's a given that they are together - hell they are a couple!
If however, something IS going on then the affirmation of an innocent party in a situation like this is also suspect. Though she's single, Kylie would still be 'responsible' - I don't care what anyone says about single people not having to watch their backs. In my eyes knowingly taking part in an affair from any angle doesn't make me feel sorry should your name be raked through the mud even if you are single. You'd be bad news. If I was a future boyfriend I'd wonder if I could trust that you had any respect for relationships at all - let alone marriage.
And what of the married guy? No one seems to be talking about him at all. He's just the lucky man caught between two women I guess (according to the media anyway). Someone needs to make sure he gets a smack in the head (cue: the woman married to him).
Even if nothing is going on, the situation is dodgy as all fuck and yes, her rep *is* under scrutiny here and so it should be. I don't know how often two friends of the opposite sex dine alone on a yacht or dine alone anywhere but hey. Don't friends go out in public places or hang out watching DVDs or make a night of it by ensuring the other gets picked up in a noisy bar? As I said, dodgy as all fuck even if it really IS nothing. Why wasn't the wife invited? The one thing I've learned that about 90% of the time the couple goes places together. There are some friends I just don't see anymore unless they are with their partner. Dinner invite? Invite both. Wedding invite? Invite both. Movies? Invite both. Parties/birthday dinners? Invite both. There are times when the couple certainly *doesn't* do stuff together (ie: the boys weekend etc) but usually, it's a given that they are together - hell they are a couple!
If however, something IS going on then the affirmation of an innocent party in a situation like this is also suspect. Though she's single, Kylie would still be 'responsible' - I don't care what anyone says about single people not having to watch their backs. In my eyes knowingly taking part in an affair from any angle doesn't make me feel sorry should your name be raked through the mud even if you are single. You'd be bad news. If I was a future boyfriend I'd wonder if I could trust that you had any respect for relationships at all - let alone marriage.
And what of the married guy? No one seems to be talking about him at all. He's just the lucky man caught between two women I guess (according to the media anyway). Someone needs to make sure he gets a smack in the head (cue: the woman married to him).
Labels: cheating, media, men, relationships, women
Sunday, May 06, 2007
the one about the media.
My morning cup of hot Milo suddenly got extra delicious when I read the news that the judge in the Paris Hilton driving like a loon case had sentenced her to 45 days in jail - forcing her lawyers to announce that they would appeal. Paris wailed when she heard the sentence. HAHA There is nothing I'd like to see more than socialites and other celebrities get their just desserts when it comes to breaking the law. Of course, I expect the appeal will go through and she'll be back sleeping under Egyptian Cotton soon enough, but the fact that a judge finally came out and slapped a spoiled rich kid on the face just about made my morning.
I hate seeing people who already have everything in life get all the breaks. Anyone else would have had their car impounded if they'd had as many misdemeanors as ol' Paris - or better yet they'd already be in jail. Why they get such special treatment is beyond me (OJ simpson killed someone and walks free! Yes, yes you know he did) - it's not like they add anything worthwhile to society. For the most part they're just a waste of space, perhaps occasionally providing glossy fodder for tabloid magazines, but that's about it.
An example closer to home (media saturation plus!) is the AFL footballer Ben Cousins who has an addiction to the drug "Ice". I guess there are two camps of thought on what footballers add to society. One is that they are athletes and heroes. The second is that they provide gross misconduct towards women in and around pubs. Probably they are both as valid points as the other (yes I'm being serious).
Ben Cousins - instead of being dropped from the West Coast Eagles when it was found that he was taking ice and being violent in and around town while on it - was send to Miami for a month to rehab. Apparently we don't have adequate drug rehab in Australia (pfe!). Now that he's back is laying low until it all dies down so they can slip him back onto side when no one's looking. Hello! If he's an athlete BUT found out to be a drug taker then he should be shunned by the light of sport and celebrity and left to get a real job. Of course his club has an obligation to get him help but that's it. He's not doing his job as an athlete. Next! If someone is found to embezzle funds from a company are they given a multitude of second chances? No, they are sent to jail. Here's Ben C. He admits to taking an illegal substance for which he purchased illegally and was flaunting it and got into trouble for it many times but in the end gets a tap on the wrist (and a holiday to Miami). Ugh.
* In other news, Prin announced that since she liked my photographs (I had put a couple up to show the kids) I was going to be taking individual photos of all the kids for their portfolios. I'm getting a whole day off school to do it. First, wow! Secondly, oh fuck!
I hate seeing people who already have everything in life get all the breaks. Anyone else would have had their car impounded if they'd had as many misdemeanors as ol' Paris - or better yet they'd already be in jail. Why they get such special treatment is beyond me (OJ simpson killed someone and walks free! Yes, yes you know he did) - it's not like they add anything worthwhile to society. For the most part they're just a waste of space, perhaps occasionally providing glossy fodder for tabloid magazines, but that's about it.
An example closer to home (media saturation plus!) is the AFL footballer Ben Cousins who has an addiction to the drug "Ice". I guess there are two camps of thought on what footballers add to society. One is that they are athletes and heroes. The second is that they provide gross misconduct towards women in and around pubs. Probably they are both as valid points as the other (yes I'm being serious).
Ben Cousins - instead of being dropped from the West Coast Eagles when it was found that he was taking ice and being violent in and around town while on it - was send to Miami for a month to rehab. Apparently we don't have adequate drug rehab in Australia (pfe!). Now that he's back is laying low until it all dies down so they can slip him back onto side when no one's looking. Hello! If he's an athlete BUT found out to be a drug taker then he should be shunned by the light of sport and celebrity and left to get a real job. Of course his club has an obligation to get him help but that's it. He's not doing his job as an athlete. Next! If someone is found to embezzle funds from a company are they given a multitude of second chances? No, they are sent to jail. Here's Ben C. He admits to taking an illegal substance for which he purchased illegally and was flaunting it and got into trouble for it many times but in the end gets a tap on the wrist (and a holiday to Miami). Ugh.
* In other news, Prin announced that since she liked my photographs (I had put a couple up to show the kids) I was going to be taking individual photos of all the kids for their portfolios. I'm getting a whole day off school to do it. First, wow! Secondly, oh fuck!
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