[Miscellany]

Today I went to do my civic duty by voting I witnessed something so horrific that 4 hours later I'm still not sure I'm over it. There was NO sausage sizzle at the polling booth. Cake stall; yes. Sausage Sizzle; NO. How can they call themselves a polling booth if they don't offer a lovely burnt to perfection with a choice of tomato sauce with or without onions sausage sizzle? I don't understand how they sleep at night. I'm just disappointed and upset by the whole thing and feel it is all very unAustralian. Even if I personally am not partaking in the sausage fest then I like to know that others in my electorate have the option to chow down if they want. Cake stall: Who wants a flipping cake stall? There's no enjoyment in a fruitcake...not like a nice hot sausage between a slice of tip top bread dripping with sauce and creating a sense of community spirit when you all stand around and laugh at the cronies handing out the vote Liberal pamphlets.

I know that the school I work at is having a sausage sizzle because I had to paint the bloody sign informing the general public of the event, so it confuses me that my local isn't having one. Who are these barbarians?

So, yes - it's election day. We have a choice between an ear wax eater and a man who has never invited his own deputy over for tea in the last 10+ years of working together. Fuck all other policies - I mean the fact Howard is war mongering, semi-retired, cricket loving, upper middle class serving man who enjoys being sodomized by the US Prez has a lot to do with it too - but the dinner thing well, I think that's just disgraceful. Mrs Howard has come out and said that she and the hon. Johnny haven't invited Pete and wife over for tea because they don't ever have foursomes at their home for dinner parties. Yes, this was the official bullshit excuse. It's not like they have to be best friends or anything but I assumed that there would be some bond to speak of since they are running the country together. After all, if the Libs stay in power the reigns will be handed over to Pete in a minute. Good to know there's a lot of communication going on between them behind closed doors so a smooth transition happens. No thanks, I voted for ear wax guy instead. At least we know his ears are clean enough to listen...well, they are NOW.

EDIT - convo I had with my bro earlier.

bro - so hey, I think this girl thought I was stalking her.
me - um...whaaa?
bro - yeah, it was the other day when I was meeting you for dinner and I got off the bus at a different spot from where I usually do so I could walk to the restaurant.
me - okay...
bro - anyway, I think this girl thought I was following her.
me - *laughing* riiight, did she stare at you or something?
bro - yeah, she was looking over her shoulder at me while I was walking behind her. She was really freaked out.
me - no shit *laughing*.
bro - it's not funny! I don't want to be a stalker
me - *laughing even harder* whatever. So what happened?
bro - she ran.
me - RAN? Like....ran?
bro - yeah, the thing is I tried to walk slower so that it wouldn't freak her out and then I thought I'd cross the road so I was away from her but at the last second she crossed too - so it looked like I was following her across the road. She saw me do it and then she ran.
me - oh my god, that's tragic. You stalking bastard, you have fucked her shit up good.
bro - why does she have to be so paranoid?
me - are you fucking kidding me? You have no idea what it's like to be a girl walking down a deserted street alone? If I hear heavy footsteps behind me I always grab my keys and hold them between my fingers, ready to punch. I always walk faster. I can't believe you don't know this!
bro - yeah, but that's just you.
me - bullshit, you fuck.
bro - but I'm not a stalker! I'm not doing anything wrong.
me - duh, you're just there, that's enough. She doesn't know you. She doesn't care who you are. You're just some guy walking down a totally deserted street behind her. It's not like it was in the middle of Collins St or something. You're asking her to trust you to walk behind her when in the real world women walking alone down a deserted street might be rape victims. Especially around THAT area. Why would she trust YOU?
bro - I didn't ask her to trust me! I just don't want her to freak out.
me - yeah, well maybe in a society where men don't prey on women she could walk down the street without freaking out.
bro - yeah, I know that this is an issue but...
me - sure, you *know* it's an issue but it's not something you actually ever have to deal with. It's not part of your reality of walking alone. It's part of her reality. Okay, you will rarely see a woman actually RUN but they're probably thinking 'hm..this could be dodgy, or 'oh shit' somewhere in their heads. Just because women don't always show their fear doesn't mean they aren't scared. She might have had an experience with an attacker or maybe her friend did.
bro - yeah well, I'm just saying I'm not a stalker.
me - well stop stalking people then.
bro - you suck.
me - yeah, bring it up at the next meeting of the men's alliance when you're talking about ruling the world hahahaha.
bro - haha, you're an idiot. But seriously, now I have a problem
me - what's that?
bro - I take her bus everyday. So every day from now on I have to deal with her thinking that I'm stalking her.
me - hahaha, that rules. Are you going to be like "hey I noticed you thought I was stalking you the other day but I just wanted you to know that I'm really normal".
bro - haha, noooo
me - go on, it would be cool. See if she reports you.
bro - I can't believe I have to deal with this shit now. I did nothing wrong.
me - yeah yeah whatever, no sympathy for stalkers.

Labels: bro, conversations, disgust, election day, gender stuff, girls and women, petty, political musings, rape, sausage sizzle, yes I am taking politics, Yoko woman

posted by M at 12:55 pm 22 comments

* I had a strange blogger dream last night. It involved a mass blogger meet up, but felt more like High school. I liked High School in so far that I was totally happy doing my dance and drama, hanging out with my friends, singing show tunes in class and laughing a lot.. a hell of a lot (obviously I wasn't one of the popular elite). Apart from that I pretty much hated everyone else in High School and much like Erica Yurken from my one of my favourite childhood novels Hating Alison Ashley, I was always in the sick bay with a made up illness of some sort hoping to get out of 6th period Science with Mr K (he wore canary yellow).

The blogger meet up reminded me a little of my 10 year High School reunion (yes, unfortunately I did go...). I recognised some people, I think I recognised others and some I had no idea about. The whole thing was rather awkwardly surreal and I felt a little out of place. Which is incidentally how I alway feel - so at least that wasn't new. Just when things were looking very sad indeed Helena Bonham Carter turned up and sat right next to me. I'm not sure if she has a blog or not but it was marvelous of her anyway. She kelp scrunching her curls and looked a little flustered and distracted though - which funnily enough is exactly how I feel at the moment.

* The movie project is due tomorrow. Today, the new Dawson Leary was instructed to chain himself to the computer and edit the thing until it was done (day...what? 8 of editing?). Of course I was stuck in the AR with a bunch of homicidal children also known as my grade 3 art class (yes, yes okay fine I was the homicidal one) who for some reason were all concentrated on two girls in the grade squabbling with each other.

I got rather sick of the back and forth "but she said..." stuff and in a moment of utter frustration exclaimed to the whole grade in a loud and rather hysterical voice OH FOR GOODNESS SAKE (would love to swear for once), AS A MATTER Of INTEREST PUT UP YOUR HAND IF YOU ARE ANNOYED BY * and * ARGUING? Every single child in the grade put up their hand including one of the said squabblers (amusing). Then I put up my hand and so did the parent helper who had come in to do a yarn spinning demonstration (haha). The other squabbler and only person with their hand down looked mortified. I stopped the Art lesson right there and we talked about ways to avoid getting into arguments. It was the first time in a while for that grade that everyone worked cooperatively to come up with a solution (amazing how 'if you don't get along maybe don't sit together' is such a simple solution and and yet so effective). I'm not sure if highlighting that the whole class basically thought these two girls were idiots was the right way to go in teacher-land but sometimes kids need a dose of reality. They were being idiots.

Anyway, being stuck in the AR with a bunch of children meant that I could not keep an eye on Dawson Leary II and the movie editing. So when I turned up to the lab and saw him working on the DIRECTORS CUT of our 3 minute movie (including bloopers and outtakes and a credit reel, gangsta style) I went ballistic! Meanwhile the actual movie wasn't yet finished and I had big problems with a missing consent of release form (which by the way is still missing and by the way the fate of our movie depends on me finding it). So the film is still not finished and we are down a consent of release form. I have no way of actually supervising these children AND teach a grade at the same time AND actually get the tape to the co-ordinator all by tomorrow so the only thing left for me to do is have a complete nervous breakdown. Dawson Leary II, saw me hitting my head against the table today and said Oh Miss F, you and *producer* both stress too much! Doooooooooooontworryaboutit!. Serenity now! How do I get myself into these things?

* I had my review with Prin yesterday afternoon. I prepared like a champion (which means not starting the thinking process until about midnight the night before, pulling an all nighter and working through my lunch break and planning hour the next day) and we had a fine chat about next year. If she doesn't change her mind (anything goes with Prin) then I shall be back in the classroom next year with a day out of the room every week to supervise a Media Art extension group. This is very exciting and should keep me interested and challenged next year - and also answers the aforementioned question: How do I get myself into these things? Sigh. Surely Dawson Leary III will be a winner.

* It's amazing just how many people are searching for that blasted Maddison Gabriel on the net and coming up with my journal. Wouldn't it be great if they WEREN'T looking for child porn and instead were motivated by a distaste of the fashion and beauty industry and the unrealistic pressures it puts on women? Wouldn't it be fabulous if every one of them said 'hey, you know - this sucks and so I'm going to be outspoken about this too'? That would be great. God, I hope they're not looking for porn.

Labels: blogs, dirty femmo, friends, gender stuff, girls and women, media, miscellany, models, movies, school, stressed teachers, teacher dramas, Yoko woman

posted by M at 10:43 pm 16 comments

Here we have Maddison Gabriel. I bet if you were single you'd buy her a drink (or two) and flirt shamelessly with her if you came across her - or maybe you'd just sit back and perve - you're allowed it's what boys do, don't worry! I mean she has a great set of pins and I can say that because well she's on a catwalk and she's wearing a miniskirt and well...dude she's a model and she's there so that gay men can admire the dress, women can feel inferior (and yes okay admire the fashion) and straight men can oggle her legs. I know I'm not too far off the mark.

The problem is that she's twelve.

This is a problem. This is a BIG problem because if a 12 year old is the best representative as the face of Gold Coast Fashion Week then it's no wonder that any women or girl over the age of 14 is completely and utterly fucked when it comes to body image. How in the hell can someone who might not even have her first period yet be a "model" that represents the rest of us? Kids are not the same as adults and I have a humongous problem with the 'if she's enjoying it then let her do it' argument that has been passed around. Okay, smartarses would you let your 12 year old get married to your 45 year old neighbour if she said she wanted to? Probably not..why? Because 12 is a kid and 12 has no idea what 12 wants and 12 needs to be protected even if 12 looks more like 18.

You don't see 12 year old boys representing 25 year old men on the catwalk do you? That's because
1) Society is not obsessed with men looking young.
2) Boys don't look like men.

Girls don't look like women either but this girl looks older than her years and that's the point. She has all the youth of 12 but with a body that looks slightly older no woman wants to actually look like a 12 year old tom boy but take a body of a 17 or 18 year old with the skin of a 12 year old and you have one big confusing message for women that is: "woman" as represented by the media can NEVER, EVER be achieved no matter how hard we try. Since "woman" represented by the media is our primary image/model for women in this society then that's a pretty fucked up message. The other prime image of women for women are our mothers, but more about that later.

Enter Maddison Gabriel; the perfect unreachable target which is the whole message of the modeling industry if you ask me. 30 year old skin does not have the same elasticity as 12 year old skin, though we'd love it to. There is a rather dangerous propensity for the media to admire and reward females who look younger than their age. Take a look at the straight up and down models who have graced the catwalks over the last 20 or so years. Thin, boyish and very weak looking. This to me screams of young girl. I don't understand how they can be our "models" but there you have it - apparently it makes the dresses hang better. I laugh my head off at this since it's actually women who end up wearing fashion on the streets, not bloody coat hangers.

Anyway, Maddison Gabriel has come out laughing about the whole deal because she thinks it's funny that anyone would be fussed with such a thing. Her mother is also perplexed by the furor in the media and is feeling as though next people will come out and say that she's a bad mother - when all she's doing is letting her daughter do something that SHE wants to do. Well said mum, I mean child stars are never known for going COMPLETELY off the rails are they? *cough*

You know what I wanted to do when I was 12? Marry Tom Selleck and eat only hubba bubba gum for the rest of my life. Yep, being 12 I really should have been allowed to pursue those dreams of mine. I'm still upset by not being allowed to eat only bubble gum and marry Tom Selleck - instead my mother made to stay in school and eat three balanced meals a day.

Speaking of needing mothers.

The best comment I have heard on Britney Spears has come from Tori Amos at her concert on Tuesday at Hamer Hall where she sang a little ditty as her response to the media laughing about Britney Spears. If you click on the link it takes you to Perez Hilton's site where there is audio of the song and the lyrics.

Britney, they set you up
But you drank from their cup
Britney, they set you up
Oh, but this is what it looks like, love,
This is what is looks like

When a star falls down
When a star falls down

Well, maybe you’re a mother
But you still need your mother
Yes, I may be a mother
But I still need a mother
To pick me up
Yes, to pick me up

When it all falls down

I'm not one for excessive lyric posting but I thought this was all extremely topical not only for Britney and Maddison but for too many young female Hollywood stars who have fallen down in a heap over the past 5 years. Girls, what is going on? What are we becoming? Meg White has also eluded to this issue in the song Passive Manipulation where she sings

Women, listen to your mothers
don't just succumb to the wishes of your brothers
take a step back, take a look at one another
you need to know the difference, between a father and a lover

I know this is turning into a bit of a Musical Monday post but I have to say, yes I think there is definitely a place for politics in music and when put so eloquently then yes I agree. I found the Britney performance and subsequent media feeding frenzy sad because girls when Pete Doherty does it, people aren't laughing quite as hard at him are they? He's not regarded as pathetic, or as unhinged as Brit - though, clearly while he is talented he is that pathetic and unhinged.

I also came across this quote where Tori (again) says of Britney and other young starlets like her

"You see a lot of women today -- maybe in magazines -- crawling out of cars and thinking it's sexy," Amos recently told Spinner. "[And] for the most part, you don't hear guys going, 'Wow! I am just blown away by that beauty or by that woman's way. There's something about her.' No. Do you know what they do? They laugh. They laugh when we're spreading our legs and crawling out of a car. It's tragic. Ultimately, we demean ourselves."

What the hell is going on with these girls? Is it a lack of mothering that is to blame? Are we trying too hard to keep up with the boys? Are women just dumb? Is culture ripe for tearing women down while we support and encourage that with our own actions? Have we been set up? Should our role models be our mothers rather than our daughters and younger sisters?

Labels: Britney they set you up, comment, dirty femmo, girls and women, media, models, music, musical monday, political musings, pop culture, wonderings, Yoko woman

posted by M at 10:29 am 25 comments

I'm about to admit something here: I don't hate Courtney Love. I know, isn't everyone supposed to hate her?

Sure, she's a completely delusional, lipstick smeared, liposuction loving, botox injecting, peroxided to the shithouse, bitchy, slutty, fame-whoring, Lying, over opinionated, messy, allegedly talentless crackhead. But I don't hate her.

I can't say I love her either but I sit somewhere between appalled and fascinated on Courtney Love. I get this distinct feeling about her that for a lot of people she's the girl you fuck but don't ever tell anyone about. As a big Nirvana fan the pairing between Kurt and Courtney seemed a little strange to me - she was always so volatile and explosive in her pain and lashing out at anyone who would listen whereas he was contemplative and kept the pain in his stomach. Maybe they each complimented that side that each of them lacked. I don't know.

I remember reading Kurt say this

They actually tried to beat us up. Courtney and I were with the baby in the eating area backstage, and Axl walked by. So Courtney yelled, "Axl! Axl, come over here!" We just wanted to say hi to him--we think he's a joke, but we just wanted to say something to him. So I said, "Will you be the godfather of our child?" I don't know what had happened before that to piss him off, but he took his aggressions out on us and began screaming bloody murder. These were his words: "You shut your bitch up, or I'm taking you down to the pavement." [laughs] Everyone around us just burst out into tears of laughter. She wasn't even saying anything mean, you know? So I turned to Courtney and said, "Shut up, bitch!" And everyone laughed and he left.

That was of course, about the run in between Kurt and Axl Rose at the MTV Music Awards. I remember reading that and thinking that Kurt and Courtney sounded sort of like a team - which is cool. Then of course there are the rumours that she stole his songs, cheated on him and had him killed. You can't win.

When Kurt died she both crumbled and then built herself up out of the ashes like a Phoenix. If you were paying attention around that time the whole thing was utterly heartbreaking and amazing at the same time. Did she exploit his death? Yes probably, but I don't know if it was all her choice either - not even Kurt could get away from the media (try as he might) as they, (he so eloquently put it) 'raped' him. The spotlight was always going to be on her post-Kurt. Perhaps Courtney raped them back, or held up a mirror so her spotlight reflected brighter than ever. In any case she was both crucified and revered by the media - they simultaneously praised her and then stabbed her until the bile came out..then they praised her again.

I was entering my mid teens when she exploded everywhere and I guess you could say I was angry at the world. The same year that Kurt died my own father died too - and the music around that time was shall we say - appropriate - to feed my own feelings of displacement and anger at life. Courtney Love was nothing if not relevant.

I listened to and enjoyed Hole's early albums Pretty on the Inside and Live Through This (rather crassly released a week after Kurt died) as well as My Body the Hand Grenade. I read her interviews in various Rock magazines trying to piece together a coherent picture of her, and of Kurt I guess. I just couldn't - she was too random. Sometimes she was eloquent and clever and other times she was just a mess. A complicated woman to enjoy. Maybe it was just easier to hate her - she was oft accused of being ugly or fat, or a feminist or a plagiariser, or talentless, an exploiter and annoying. Yes, much easier to hate her but ...I couldn't.

She was too interesting to hate. Always falling apart and then sewing herself up again. She said what she thought and to hell with who heard about it. I've lost count of how many people there have been that deny they had anything to do with Courtney, but there she was again, spilling the beans on everyone. Plus, she never seemed afraid of being 'un-lady like' (try writing whore and slut on your arm and see where it gets you in the lady stakes) - except when she put on a suit and let Barbara Walters interview her. Soon after that, the hair became more natural looking, the makeup applied properly, she started crossing her legs and keeping her boobs in - and of course, lost about 20 pounds. That's when she came across as afraid.

This is interesting about those messy women - not being feminine means being loud, obnoxious, messy, opinionated, out of control, ugly and fat - all of which Courtney, pre-Barbara interview was accused of being. And of course, all of which could be used to describe a great deal of male rock stars. There is an incredible double standard which Courtney herself has addressed on numerous occasions. For a girl, not being feminine will get you laughed at, or worse infamous instead of simply famous. The double standard is never more apparent when someone like Courtney goes from a mess to a prize. Suddenly no one had a bad word to say about her - she was Milos Forman's IT girl and Vanity Fair wanted to do nice interviews with her for once. It didn't do her persona any harm mind you and she knew what she was doing. Musically she was nothing at this point, in my opinion she lost it when she put on the suit - but then again, finally she was accepted,even if it was only for a short time.

But musically speaking there's another can of worms...

There aren't that many women who can delve into rock music without sublimating their guitar holding with pristine femininity. The accepted kind of female rock musicians look like Hollywood starlets - think Gwen Stefani, for instance - now there is also the look gritty in 3000 dollar jeans look. Love conquered and addressed this with a kind of whorish child image (Kinderwhore as it was termed) - too small dresses, ripped panty hose, mis-applied make up, turned in feet. She looked like a 3 year old who had gotten into mummy's drawers but acted like a male rock star - maybe she was just drug fucked and it wasn't intentional at all - though much of Love's antics did seem intentional.

She held her guitar like it was her penis - that is she held her guitar like male rock stars hold a guitar. She totally eclipsed her male co-writer Eric Erlanderson in presence and voice. I remember her saying once, to explain her behaviour that her gynecologist diagnosed her as having too much testosterone. Granted - that's how she acted it's just that she was held more accountable than her male co-horts. The one big difference between her and any male rock musician out there was that she wasn't afraid to be political when it came to gender.

Hole's first LP Pretty On the Inside was IMO loud, messy, confronting and brilliant. Kim Gordon produced it and I have a hell of a lot of time for Kim Gordon. Then she took up with Kurt and was accused of stealing Kurt's music to write the album Live Through This. Again, another confronting and brilliant album (no matter who wrote it). Post-Kurt, Hole was busy on the touring bandwagon etc, and so they released My Body, The Hand Grenade a collection of b-sides, covers and rare tracks - eclectic and enjoyable (also The First Session and Ask For It). Then she took up with Billy Pumpkin (again) and was accused of not writing her album Celebrity Skin. Personally I think if you don't want to be accused of writing an album then this would be a good one to be accused of not writing, Billy is credited on many tracks but except for a few great songs, it's a stinker. Then there are her solo efforts. I can't say I've bothered with them. I've been disappointed with her for a while. What can I say? I miss the volatile mess.

She's been linked with people like Michael Stipe, Billy Corgan, Evan Dando, Alex Cox, Edward Norton, Evan Dando, Trent Reznor, Rodney Bottum, Kim Gordon, Jennifer Finch, Kat Bjelland. Some of those people *hate* her with a passion some of them will defend her forever. There must be something about her, eh?

Currently she has botoxed and lip suctioned her way into oblivion. She's been trying on that conforming cloak again but it's not working - she is now absolutely the kind of mess that isn't going to work at all. It's a different kind of mess to the one she started out with. It's like she has no idea who she is anymore. Or maybe I have no idea - in any case - I can't connect. Lots of people hate her but I don't. I can't say I enjoy her current musical flavour though but once upon a time she was really exciting. It's hard to believe now, I know, but I guess you just had to be there.

Teenage Whore - Hole



Violet - Hole



20 Years in the Dakota - Hole

click for song

Drown Soda - Hole

Click for song

Labels: fear, femininity, messy women, musical monday, Yoko woman

posted by M at 1:41 pm 24 comments