Sunday, February 19, 2006

1, 2, 3, 4, 5..senses working overtime

Eddie Maguire

I hate him.

He is a smarmy self important COLLINGWOOD supporter (or president rather) who has somehow managed to talk himself up into a position in which he brings no skills or abilities. How on earth did he manage to get the channel 9 top job? Who did he sleep with (eww)? As if he wasn't on our television screens enough with his sexist, dogmatic, arrogant opinions how he's running a whole channel! We might as well just shoot ourselves now, all we're going to be seeing now is sport and bullshit. Oh wait, we already are - but you know what I mean.

When it comes to opportunities, wealth and success I am highly communist. I believe in the philosophy of "sharing the wealth". Monopolies are evil (I don't mean the game, though the game is somewhat confusing..and what the hell are the real rules anyway?) and Eddie Maguire is a monopoly. He's president of Collingwood (one of the biggest AFL clubs), he was host of the The Footy Show (a show that has made me woe for the state of males and mankind in this country), he hosts Who wants to be a Millionaire (I stopped watching the show because of it), whenever there is an awards ceremony he's there with bells on either hosting or participating in some way, he's on pretty much every sporting commentary box known to man, he's known as a "media personality" (the worst kind of person), he hosts those idiotic National TV IQ/National Driving tests (and made sexist jokes all the way through it) and his company supplies the footage of AFL matches to the TV. Talk about having a finger in each pie. We might as well elect him president of the world and get it over and done with.

We have a thing in this country called The Tall Poppy Syndrome, which basically means that we support the underdog. If someone gets too big for their boots we cut them down in any way possible so they're not so tall anymore. It happened to Kylie Minogue in the early 90s. We heard her crappy English wannabe accent on the logies and it was ON, and I mean ON! I don't think there was one joke spared about her being a singing budgie to madonna clone, to talentless fluff for the next 5 years. Somehow she rose above it into tight fitting hot pants, an overload of glitter and exploiting her sexuality ...but really to have such success after the roasting she got, well that's rare. Once you've been cut down in this country, you're usually limited to infomercials and bit parts on failing variety shows. I can't wait for it to happen to Eddie. Bring on the backlash!

(for other stupid Australian "celebrities" click here All of them are preferable to Eddie, mind you)

The Bali 9. I feel sorry for Renee Lawrence.
I do feel sorry for all of them but I feel sorry for her most of all. Shapelle and Michelle got an extensive media outpouring of love during their ordeal and Renee, apart from the lesbian jokes was pretty much ignored. It was stupid of them to be drug mules - I'm not condoning it. But life!? It's just not quite right.

I've been having a few weird dreams lately. I had a horrible one last night where I was asked to be a lookout at a pool where children were playing. All was going well until the walls disolved and the pool turned into a wide raging ocean, big, eerie and impossible to predict and control. The children were everywhere and I felt impotent against any disaster. I have a lot of dreams about oceans and large bodies of water.
A symbolism of:
Sex. *
That'd be about right.

*err, not sex WITH children, that would be wrong. Perhaps children means my own lost childhood. Oh god, now I'm disturbing myself.