Wednesday, February 22, 2006

last dance

It's always interesting going out to coffee with E. She is one of my best friends but we are on polar opposites in our approach to most things in life. She is focused, direct and into kicking arses and taking names - while I am more uncertain, shy-ish and basically a strangeo. We both have the same idiotic sense of humour that no one else in the room ever gets though so I guess that is where we meet in the middle. It's all hand signals and in jokes. Once when we were playing "Cranium" and the answer was "DNA" she just looked at me and said "oh come on Mez, you *know* this one". Got the answer in 2 seconds after that. Why? Who knows? We're freaks, I guess.

Coffee, was a good chance to talk about the (rather disasterous) girls night we had a couple of weeks ago. There were a few problems in that men (or a certain man) become an issue between E and L. E is married but flirts. L is looking and always gets her man. S is getting married - is a champion flirter but her fiance forbids her to flirt. We've already established that I cannot "do" the scene at all so I am what you will call the world's BIGGEST DUD! Okay? established? good.

Basically E and L had issues on the night because E was flirting with a man that L liked. E said that she was just paving the way for L to come in at the last minute, but L took it as E cutting her grass (at this stage I was just drowning vodka orange and trying not to listen to the band). Since E is married, she doesn't need to flirt, right? Well, I guess it depends on who you ask (another issue entirely)

E is of the opinion that you only get the guy if you're friendly and open and that L wasn't being friendly and open so therefore she needed "help". Furthermore she argued that the guy in question was playing "The Game" (you know, that book that is making the rounds) and in doing that he was ignoring L - the prime target - which would then make him more interesting to her because he wasn't paying attention to her (or something).. The thing that I would like to stress about the situation is that L *always* gets her man because she's a hot blonde and men don't really care about the friendly and open bullshit if you're a hot blonde. I've seen her be ruthless but they still line up for more. I proposed that E wanted to flirt because she misses the thrill of the chase and that if it was realy about L then E would have made the ring more noticable. L proposed that she was pissed off by the whole situation and that E sort of ruined something that would have inevitably happened had E just stepped asside (at this stage I was eyeballing the lead singer so that he'd be put off singing).

God, girls are fucked up. I refuse to get involved with these flirting at pubs shennanigans. I can't do it. i'm crap. First of all, the whole scene is devoid of any sincerity and I cannot even contemplate anyone I haven't had a proper conversation with (sucks to be me, right?). Why is the scene so cut-throat anyway? I think I mentioned at lookingsideways that I was so fed up with the whole situation that I actually wanted to go downstairs and watch the bloody rugby. Seriously, it looked like so much more fun down there!

E and I talked a little about The Game and how easily women are manipulated. I supppose men are too. The whole book is about using clever little manipulations to attract women. Now, women (like men) are a fickle bunch and these tactics probably work, unless you are wired like me. I was woeing to E about the state of being me and struggling to fit into this kind of scene because I find it so tiresome and boring.

Things I don't like, but that other girls (like E) do seem to accept as wonderful about men.
* suits (exception: the tie has been losened, top button undone and shirt untucked - do men ever walk around like this?). I'm a bit wary of them. You can't tell anything from a suit except that all personality dissapears except in the form of a wacky tie. I fucking hate wacky ties unless worn ironically. I know that men wear suits to work. That's cool. I dig it - a suit doesn't make someone "less" lovely or anything. Just don't expect me to swoon just because a guy happens to wear one!
* pick up lines (what the hell do they mean anyway?) I have trouble accepting anyone making a comment about me who hasn't taken the time to know me. I know pubs aren't the place for girls who don't like lines so I realise this is my problem entirely. I stress, this is *not* an issue I have with men, just that pick up lines makes me immediately distrust them. I *know* that's it's hard for men and god love you if you actually have the courage to pick up chicks. I think it's a horrid business and secretly I love you for doing it, but yeah sucks to be me.
* yobboish or boarish behaviour (Some girls like it - ie: footy players! - but for me? dude, I'm a chick!).
* flashy something or other (okay, so you have a porche.. I don't particularly care if you do or don't. I'm just not actually impressed by them. So you have a lot of money? Good for you, but are you going to be home at night? Do you care about the people around you? Did you have to step on people to get where you are?).
* Treat 'em mean keep 'em keen. (okay, yes I acknowledge that this works with most women, but I can't stand it! I know it's a tactic that men use and I'm sorry it's not going to work. I simply don't have the confidence to take that on the chin. If you ignore me I immediately think you don't like me and so I just switch off).
etc etc.

E finds my little quirks about men funny. I really wish I was just like every other girl out there that accepted these things as normal (and there are a multitude of reasons why I don't) but it sure would make life a tad easier if I did. But then, on the other hand I shake my head in the general direction of girls who actually like this kind of shit.

Where do the good guys hang out anyway?

I'm going to end up with a turkey baster and a cat aren't I? Jesus christ - Or even worse, a nun. Far out, I hope the Catholics will take me back (surely, it's like the back bench at parliment house - they'll take anyone).