Saturday, March 18, 2006


I have a couple of friends who are weak huggers. What's up with that? I've known them both for about 10 years and we're all fabulous friends but they're weak huggers. It's a fault that gives me pause. Maybe they don't have the upper body strength to carry it off..I don't know. Though I can't imagine that it would take that much effort. It's a hug!

I'm of the opinion that if you engage in the hugging movement that's sweaping the nation (followed by cheek kiss..how continental are we?) then you ENGAGE IN THE MOVEMENT! Good god, the last thing I want to do is go for the hug and end up feeling like I've broken someone's bones by accidently resting my arm against theirs or violated their privacy and will have to defend myself in a court of law. If you are uncomfortable with the body contact required for hugging then just don't hug! It's as simple as that, really. But don't tease us real huggers with the weak hug!

The big problem I have with weak huggers is that I feel like I'm imposing my hug on them. Sure, as far as I can tell, these huggers "go for" the hug too..but they just don't deliver! It's like trying to hug a feather. You know there's something there but it's light and fragile and will probably float away at any given moment. Are they afraid of being squashed and killed by my He-Man like powerful arms? Are they afraid of contracting some sort of germ from me? Do I smell? Do you secretly hate me?

And ultimately my mind goes here: Do weak huggers have the same weak body contact in bed? Is everything else sort of ...hardly there as well?

I don't mind the one arm huggaroo, I don't even mind the faux air kiss (sometimes it can be hard to get your lips to eachothers' cheeks at the same time), even the chest press is okay for some people but damn whatever it is put some oomph into it! I hate to be teased by the promise of a real hug and then coming away with nuthin' but dissapointment.

Hugs are great. I love them! They make you feel nice. They're friendly. They're sexy. They're sweet. You can get your arm around and steal someone's wallet if you're clever! I love hugs! Offer me a real one and I'm *there*. I like it how bodies go "squish" together! It's cool. It makes me smile.

Weak hugs make me feel cheap and dirty. They leave me lacking and unfulfilled.

I've got blue balls for real hugs.