Tuesday, April 25, 2006

big bro

Thank you chanel 10 for your daily dose of legal drugs. Just when I thought I was over the withdrawal symptoms back it comes again to tempt me once more into the back alley ways of commercial television, aching with anticipation and want. Please, just one more hit!

Big Brother. Hallelujah. Amen.

I love me a bit of people watching. If it didn't result in getting me a restraining order then I would openly stare at people all day long, follow them around, laugh at their mishaps, commiserate with them ..make their skin into a lovely two piece suit... If there was a job where I could stare at people legitimately and get paid for it, I would gladly take it. BB gives people like me an avenue to just watch and wonder without being labelled a social deviant. ha.

I like watching how people act when they are alone. I know that I do a bunch of weird shit all the time - I like watching other people's weird shit too. I love listening to their conversations. I like it when they have a political point of view and can argue it (oh Tim from last year was so great!) - though that doesn't happen very often on BB. I know that they know the cameras are on them and so behaviour changes when you know someone is watching you - but still, it's so enjoyable.

It's also dangerous for girls like me. Here we have a show where suddenly girls are privvy to information previously only shared in the boys 'locker room'. I don't have a wide circle of male friends, so wow, the things they say! Oh my god. Do men really think that way about women? It sort of makes me sick and yet..I can't not watch. I know the male contestants on BB don't represent the whole male population but since a lot of the female conversations aren't that big a surprise then I can only conclude that neither are the male ones. The girls aren't that much better really. Men, women..where did humanity go so wrong? So yeah, it does disasterous things to my mind, but I can't keep away.

So, BB06 is upon us. And once again Gretel Killeen has made herself known as the only true alpha male in the house, without actually being in the house, or male for that matter. Bless her heart. I wish she would win the money. I love how Gaelen (contestant: thinks he's gods gift) walks out trying to give props to the ladiez and Gretel retorts (and I paraphrase) "oh Gaelen are you gay?" "oh, haha Gretel like I haven't heard that joke before (ie: the name thing). "oh..no, I was just wondering..something in your walk when you came out.. nevermind" and we are left to watch him cower and retreat into his shell and walk down the plank with his preverbial tail between his legs. Not that she doesn't give women the same treatment. If you're an idiot you'll get it from Gretel. Fair enough I say. When Jo (big bro 3?? the HOTHOTHOT XXX overly flirtateous prick tease) was voted out by the biggest majority ever seen (ie: because she was a prick tease, dur). Gretel was like a tiger, ripping at her behaviour in the house until Jo was visibly turning green - then she proceeded to bite into any of the boys who were duped by her. Good times.

This year they have picked a bunch of utter wankers. Only a couple of them seem like genuinely good people that you'd want to have sitting with you at the dinner table. The gay farmer from QLD is the front runner (how much do we love him?) - already the brokeback mountain jokes are emerging. Of course he hasn't actually told the housemates that he is gay yet, but can't wait for that bombshell. But apart from that and the mother/daughter boob job team the housemates are the usual mix, representing Australia stictly only for guilty pleasure television viewing whores such as I.

I should feel more shame, but I don't.
In honour of the event Vice Prin has taken to looking out the window while on the loud speaker and telling kids off for doing naughty things in the playground "Callum, stop playing with that tree branch - don't think I can't see you".