Friday, April 07, 2006

turned on by paper.

I have a little fetish for office stationary. Quite frankly folks, reams of coloured paper wrapped in pastic gets me all hot and bothered. oooohh. I'm getting all err..happy even writing about it. In fact, I think it's mandatory that if you're a teacher your nether regions tingle when opening boxes filled with crisp, pre-sharpened pencils and new erasers. Being in the art room is sometimes like running to the lounge room on Christmas morning and looking at all the presents wondering which one to open first. Today I got my Ken Done posters, and they came wrapped in opaque white tissue paper, then stuffed at both ends with bubble wrap and then finished off in a large thick cylindrical container taped at both ends. I was pretty excited. My life is quite sad, as you've realised, but I got a lot of joy unwrapping the posters and smelling that scent that only new paper can have.

Despite this, I've not yet done my requisite order for the art room or myself yet. I love going through the book and choosing what I want to order but I haven't been able to bring myself to do it. I don't really know what I want and I don't want to order a bunch of shit that I'm not going to use. The problem is - I have no idea what I'm going to use or not. I simply don't work that way. I don't think: gee in term three we're going to make traditional aboriginal painted boomarangs - let's buy the materials. I'm more your garden variety "oh shit, what am I doing today?" kind of girl. Not really so condusive to making big orders.

I've been going through the order book this week though. I sit down after school and mull over the large or standard oil pastels and think hard about whether cool blue or warm blue paint will give a nicer effect - or whether I should just fuck it all and buy both. I like the idea of having the freedom to pick and choose exactly what I want but at the same time I have no idea whether I'm buying the right things or not. I tend to overthink things like this, but I can't help it - I overthink most things.

Do you ever get the feeling you should just stop thinking and start doing instead?