Saturday, May 27, 2006

Embarrassing crushes of the past

I wasn't always this cool you know...what? oh right, well okay maybe I was always an embarrassment but I think it's time I really came clean about just how embarrassing.

Pretty much every young lass has a crush or two on a TV celeb or other. The 80s were ripe with good ones; Michael J Fox, Kirk Cameron, ..Rick Astley.. err, okay maybe not all were plum pickings and let me tell you I had a few secret little crushes that I look back on how and laugh hysterically about.

It's about time I came clean on my pick of the embarrassing crushes I never talked about in public.

Alex Papps I'm talking about his character in The Henderson Kids. Yes, that's right, the leather jacket wearing "bad boy" from the wrong side of the tracks. hahahahahaHAHAHA

Alice Cooper What's that you say? Alice Cooper is totally cool? Of course he is, but not if you're 10 years old! What the hell is so attractive to a 10 year old? Was it the eye makeup? The fact that he's an ...older man? The threat of being whipped by chains? The future career as a crack whore? Who knows!

Astro Boy Is it the girly eye lashes? The bullet proof undies? The fact that he has no hair, just spikes? Or maybe the fact that he was both a robot AND a cartoon (you decide which is geekier!) No, he wasn't real, but god I loved him so much. edit: I just remembered that when I was 7 I used a blunt instrument to scratch an image of astro boy into the bathroom wall (new paint job!). I got into so much trouble.

Cameron Daddo Two words: Perfect Match! From the moment Greg Evans left the show I could stop focusing on Dexter the match making robot and start up with the REAL MEN (err...Cameron Daddo, apparently!).

Scott Baio I want charles in charge of me!

Obviously I was completely obsessed with men in positions of domesticity. Hold me closer Tony Danza!

David Lee Roth Give me some of that shaggy, peroxided hair and crab infested leathers! okay, it was only for about 2 minutes when I was 10 but I saw him on some video clip and mistook myself for a backstage groupie. Don't worry got over it v.quickly.

craig mclachlan I am so ashamed.

The Fonz He could operate juke boxes AND GIRLS with one single click. God I was such a whore!

Inspector Gadget I had a little fetish for extending bits...

KITT I had the fucking hugest crush on the car from Knight Rider. No, not Hoff - the CAR. I loved the car. I was going to marry the CAR.


New kids on the Block When I was 11 I decided that I was going to move to Boston so that I could stalk New Kids on the Block. Yes I deserve a wedgie for that.

Starsky and Hutch Rather disturbing but this is not a crush of the past. I still have the horn for S&H. Yep.