Wednesday, May 31, 2006

tampax and other stories

I took the advice of the clay people and I have no bruises on my palms this week. Their way (slicing off pieces almost to width using a wire cutter and then only having to roll it out a bit) was much easier on my hands and really much quicker overall. Of course, I've done my back instead so I'm in agony anyway. I think I was bent over for too long (is 6 hours of pretty much continuously bending forward too long?). Then this morning the alarm scared the absolute shit out of me and I literally bolted up in bed and twisted like a maniac to turn it off. I must have twisted too far because now neck to middle of back is killing me. Bloody hell, I swear these things never happened to me until I hit 25. The late 20s are a killer - I figure if I make it to 30 without causing a near fatality to myself then I've done good.

The support teacher who works in the closet next to the art room (yes, it's the size of a walk in closet!) told me that I look like hell today. Actually, she didn't say that she said "oooooo you look sooooo tired. You look absolutely exhausted, just so....tired." Yep, as you can see, I'm wowing people everywhere I go. Furthermore one of the teachers brought a box of freddo frogs and caramello koalas into school to sell for charity.
...I already owe 6 bucks. How the hell did that happen?

Hens party weekend thingy dampened by the fact that aunt flow or the painters and decorators or whatever the fuck euphemism one wants to use, has come. I don't know why I sound so surprised by it; I've been counting down the yellow pills for three weeks now after all. Girls, I ask you - do you ever feel we get the short end of the stick when it comes to everyday living? I mean you spend one week err..cleaning the inner linen so to speak, one week crying at kleenex ads, and two weeks where you are a relatively normal functioning human being. I get to be normal for two weeks of the month! Technically, normal is relative in this case and for many women that actually is normal, but boy does it suck.

You know how tampons were supposed to liberate girls from that whole idea of staying in bed when you have your period? All these tampax ads in the 80s showed girls finally being able to play volley ball, go horse riding and partake in water fights. Finally girls, your period didn't stop you from being "normal" just like the boys. You know what? Fuck that. The last thing I want to do when I have my period is anything remotely active. Moving around a lot isn't that great an idea actually. You know what I want to do? I want to stay in bed and not move around. Thanks a lot Libra Fleur and Tampax! pft.

Boys, do you give chicks a break by being sweet and lovely when you know they've got PMS and are probably biting your head off? Do you run for cover? Do you take it like the man you are? Do you give it back x 50 billion? Or do you just never want to hear about this ever again? Just curious.