Thursday, May 25, 2006

warts and all

A while ago treespotter pointed me in the direction of an article reviewing a book ("Millions of Women are Waiting to Meet You") by Sean Thomas which details one man's thoughts on dating women in 2006.

You can find the article here.

It's a warts and all reflection on his sex life, online dating and his general thoughts on the banality of women.

He is fairly brutal in his assessments of the women he meets: “Her life seems slightly tragic and she appears to be a little mixed-up, but she’s got a Pulitzer prize-winning bottom.” His opinions about women and sex generally verge on the outré: “To this day I find short skirts and gingham dresses very exciting. I also like girls with bare legs.” And he is alarmingly frank on the question of not having sex for a while: “Once, during my schlep across the Sinai of celibacy, I caught myself looking at a ‘naked’ mannequin in a shop window. With lust.”


Here, for instance, describing a date who is having difficulty understanding Queen, The Musical:

“The woman is a moron. She is a cretin. She is, I fear, emblematic; in other words, she is crystallising a question that has been locked in the attic of my mind for some time. Just why are so many women so thick?”

ROFL, how difficult is it to understand Queen the Musical for fucks sake? As brutal as it is, it still sounds pretty right to me. Not surprising at all, but also I wonder whether we all have these thoughts - both men and women, not just men - about eachother? God knows I've pondered the thickness of men a couple of (or 10,000) times.

Being new milleniumers (made that one up folks!) are we just all a little too cynical for our own good these days? What exactly are we looking for that is beyond 'normal human everyday person' anyway? What exactly are we holding out for? There is only one Cate Blanchett gents! ONLY ONE, and she's taken. And ladies, there is only ONE Brad Pitt and he's a complete freak anyway. I mean really, what do we want? Sometimes I just feel that we're getting a little too frigin high on our horses here. Just how great do we think we are that we (both male and female) just dismiss eachother at a glace (or do only males do that)? OR are we just so finely tuned that we all know what we want (someone better than us. hehehe) when we see it at first glance? Who knows, the whole world of sex confuses me to no end.

In the article, which was written by a woman, she says of the book

If I were a man, I’d be delighted that someone has finally had the courage to say, “This is how we are. You don’t have to like it, but it’s true and we’re okay with it.” As a woman, I am agog: reading Thomas’s book is like rootling around the brain of some random nice-seeming bloke: it’s fascinating, startling and not entirely comfortable. “I have often found that the most successful, affluent and dominant women (in terms of career) often turn out to be the most feminine and yielding when they get the chance.”

Putting aside what I said before for a moment. This paragraph distrubed me because I realised that this is the crux of what I have a big problem with:
Some (many? most? all?) men are fucktards (it's been in the vocab lately) dressed up in the guise of 'nice guy'.

You know what? I actually like nice guy - not to be confused with SNAG or crying jag. I just mean, everyday nice guy for fucks sake. By nice I mean a decent human being. Someone you can count on, have a laugh with and totally trust. I hate it when people assume that being nice means being a sap. Who likes saps? pfe. Anyway, the issue is that I have a problem when people pretend to be something they're not. If men are pretending to be nice just to get laid then I have a such a big problem with that - words can't even describe it! Then I thought about it some more. So, so many males I know act very nice to reel 'em in but really delight (and I mean in a "hey, guess what I did to some random chick the other day" kind of way) in acting like bastards when they got catch. You see, when you're privvy to some inside male gossip then you realise just how calculating the whole thing can be.

yes, yes, yes I realise I am generalising a tad, but it just keeps popping up - this insincerity. It's not just once or twice either. Women deceive too, but is it a whole movement like it seems to be with men? Do we do it as blatantly or is it more covert? I'm not talking about the kind of deception that is specific ie: I'm going to lie to this person because I want to have an affair with them. That is not the kind of deception I mean. I'm talking about the deception of a whole character...leading someone to believe your whole persona is something that it isn't.

Anyway, that is the part of gender relations that bothers me. The book sounds like an awesome read. I'm glad someone has finally come out and gone the 'warts and all' route on men's thoughts.