Saturday, June 24, 2006

note to self - the wedding edition


note to self - chinese foot binding shoes, like hysterectomy pants aren't going to hold up past hour 2.

note to self - cleavage top bad, bad, bad! I thought we figured this out last time! ugh.

note to self - clean out closet at some point these holidays - looking for stockings and coming up with chiffon scarf from the 80s isn't ideal.

note to self - no stockings in subzero temperatures sucks.

note to self - when handing out wedding programs to guests, do not attempt to make small talk and end up with programs on the floor.

note to self - when handing out wedding programs to guests, do attempt to be there on time.

note to self - boys don't make passes at girls who wear glasses.

note to self - only have a sook when wearing waterproof mascara.

note to self - don't ask the girl who is out on day release from the "hospital" whether she's "been doing okay?" Chances are ...uh no.

note to self - next time don't advise someone on giving the happy couple the boring card and to save the exciting Kylie and Jason "Especially for You" card for your wedding instead because you'd "appreciate it more".

note to self - chinese foot binding shoes + parking too far from the church = sooking while wearing non waterproof mascara.

*edit*: The Reception

note to self - champagne on an empty stomach is bad

note to other - 2 bottles of red and 2 bottles of beer to yourself is worse.

note to self - the robot may look cool in your head, but probably does not on the dancefloor.

note to other - yep keep on doing that moonwalk..riiiight out the door baby.

note to self - chinese footbinding shoes will kill you on the dancefloor.

note to other - hi I'm a girl I have soft bits..don't elbow me in them.

note to self - moving away from designated table in order to participate in discussion on other table about embarrassing famous crushes (hello! am I an expert or what?) will mean that when you get back to your table your porterhouse will be cold. :(

note to DJ - black betty...probably not a good song for any GIRLS to dance to. What the hell kind of moves can you do to that anyway?

note to self - taking "the scenic route" at midnight probably isn't the best idea.

note to guy who works at my school who surprisingly ended up at the wedding - I've now seen you breakdance and twist around on the floor using your head as leverage. You are sooo busted.