Wednesday, August 02, 2006

on friends and flirting.

Ooooahhh there's a new show on the telly to replace the banality that was Big Brother 06: Yasmin's Getting Married. Take 1 single girl desperate to get married and fix her up with a few blokes, cue in panel of judges (astrologer?? oh my) to comment on everything she does, get the general public to vote on the "best one" and then push them both down the isle. Oh yes folks I am deadly serious. I missed the first episode but caught the second. Yasmin seems like a complete drainer! I know it's all about her, but geez, does everything have to be about her?

Anyway, the abysmal show brings about an interesting thought: Do you think that your friends (or people who know a bit about who you are) could pick a better partner for you than you could pick for yourself? Personally, I'm not a big fan of "the set up" (read: hate it with a passion) but on the flip side I can always tell if the blokes my friends choose for themselves are the wrong ones (for them). Yasmin? Shits me to tears. But maybe there's an interesting inadvertent little something in this show: do you think we look for the wrong things for ourselves in relationships? Ridiculous ideals? A vision of perfection that isn't right for us? It's an interesting thought.

Coffee last night with E and L turned to a well worn topic - E and her relationship with P (you know the freako that she wanted to set up a personal ad site for even though he was such an arse to women).
E is happily married.
E is friends with P.
E spends a fuck load of time with P, especially since husband works late a lot these days (legit).
P has the world's biggest crush on E.
E knows it.
E's Husband knows it.
E flirts with P ("because I'm just being friendly. I'm naturally flirty. I can't change who I am").
P flirts with E back (but tries to laugh it off as a "joke").
Husband won't tell E to stop seeing P (though yes, he has a problem with it) because he knows what's good for him (E would be highly unimpressed with being told what to do).
L and I are shaking our heads in wonder.

I'm not sure I buy the "I'm just being friendly" excuse. Friendly is friendly. Flirting is flirting. Sure the wires can get crossed with people you don't know but once you know someone you cannot mistake the difference between a flirt and a happy smile. People flirt for a whole host of reasons and I have no problem with that until it involves the third party - boyfriend/girlfriend/husband/wife who has expressed some dismay about it. E is finally catching on that P is getting serious (or rather she's catching on that she's in pretty deep shit), but she has no idea what to do about it. I can't see this ending without the P/E friendship also ending too, which is a bit sad. The whole situation is getting out of control because of all the sexual tension! Sigh.

Since E is such a strong advocate for herself I can't help but be the "other side of the coin". I told her that since she knows that hub doesn't like the flirting wiht P then by still flirting it's not the disservice she's doing to P that's the problem it's that she's being highly disrespectful to her hubby that's the real issue. She remarked that "it's just who I am". I don't know. To me that's a complete cop out - but maybe I have it all wrong... There are a lot of factors at play anyway.

Finally, on a lighter note - I was telling Italian teacher about my headaches and he started telling me all about his wife's headaches and how she was a real "bleeder" and it had to do with her menstrual cycle. Whoa, too much information! Sometimes when people tell you things you don't really want to know about you nod your head and say "hmmmm" other times you just sit there with your jaw hanging open and a WTF? look on your face. Guess which one I did folks!