Friday, August 18, 2006

Random Schmandom

What is the world coming to when a belief you have held close to your heart for 10 years is shattered? I'm not quite sure how to take the news - should I be elated about the closure or dissapointed that I wasn't right? Of course I'm talking about the JonBenet Ramsey murder, commited by primary school teacher: John Mark Karr. He said that he loved her so much and although he wasn't "innocent" of the crime, she died accidentally. Yeah, kids just die accidentally after they've been raped, beaten and strangled! Oops. I love it how he's trying to rationalise it all by claiming that it was a kidnapping gone wrong. Ohhhhhh, just a kidnapping then. phew! At least it wasn't anything too serious.

Anyway, despite the fact that the guy has been arrested and confessed to the murder I still think the parents had something to do with it (what can I say? #47). Is this just a reaction to the fact that I was wrong or is there something in it? Maybe letting go of the belief that the parents were involved is sort of like trying to rid yourself of Catholicism. You know it ain't true but you still pray to God, Jesus and the holy virgin when things go down the poop chute (you know..just in case). Maybe the parents are just guilty of treating their child like an object instead of like a human and not of murder at all. I don't know.

Other news; I saw pictures of my perfect little house. It's all nestled in amoungst the trees and has a cute little crooked pathway leading up to the front door. It looks like a place that will hold many dusty bookshelves and a painting on the wall. It looks like it has many nooks and crannys in order for someone to hide in and stab me to death one night as I'm standing at the door ruffling through my too messy bag for my house keys. The big problem (apart from that)? It's in the sticks. I mean 40-50 minutes from the city. So, no that's not going to happen. But this brings up a certain question: what the hell do I really want? I'm extremely torn between cottage and modern apartment. How can someone be this contrary? They have nothing in common! Personality wise I am constantly torn between being in amoungst it and being left totally alone! I guess maybe I just want somewhere cosy - whatever the fuck that means.

Further non-news: I was reading over that 100 list and came to that point about giving up coffee. There are two things I live by in my pathetic little life and that's chocolate and coffee. Everything else can just slip away. But that's not normal is it? A girl should have more interests than legal stimulants like darning socks and perhaps pole dancing. I began thinking about all the headaches I've been getting and how my tummy hurts and how I feel tired just after waking up..and how yesterday I fell back asleep after I got up and had breakfast and didn't make it to school until the bell was going. This is the most unprofessional moment I've had in my teaching history (including that skirt incident with the grade 3s and 4s). I have decided then to go on a detox to cleanse my body of impurities and get back to...well I don't know what but I hear it's supposed to be good or something. Let me tell you how I'm going. It's day 1 9.36am (obviously working very hard here) and I feel like I'm going to DIE!!!! All information has said that the worst effects will be felt on day 2 and 3! Jesus christ, I don't think I can hack it! Furthermore, this morning, I walk into the staff room and what do I see in the biscuit jar? MONTE CARLOS! I work in a state school (are great schools!), if you think we EVER have goodies in the biscuit jar you're dreaming! We pay for our own instant coffee, mate! So you can imagine the horror on my face when I saw one of my all time favourites from the Arnott's Assorted pack just sitting there beckoning to me - eat me, eat me! I made myself a cup of bloomin' green tea and got the heck out. It's like God is punishing me for being good! I am not happy.

Other crap: This morn I was listening to Hughsey and Kate on the radio as I was shivering it up in my ultra furry pink dessing gown, sexy bed hair (haha) and having my porridge (without milk and sugar - for fucks sake). They had this guy nige54 (yeah, if you have written a book and you STILL have to go by a sobriquet because you don't want prospective employers to find out who you really are then you have problems) on who is a professional pick up artist. He was basically on there to tell the men of Melbourne that chicks dig the disinterested type who play games. Yep. Hughsey was totally into it but Kate gave him a real serve that sent him on the defensive. Did I mention I wanted to marry Kate Langbroek? Anyway, he was prattling on and on about how he can pick anyone up and how when he was in the US he picked up some chick who was HOTTTTTTT (cause that's the value of a woman you see) with the line: "The serving sizes in America are huge. I'm going to enjoy watching you try to eat through that plate and get that food in your little stomach". Apparently she was dazzled by his brilliance. She may have been mildly retarded, I don't know. He finished it off with .."and then we enjoyed another breakfast there together the next morning". CA CHING! SCORE! He sounds like a complete pratt, and pretty much any of the websites out there (including his own) confirm it.

The conversation that followed and I'm paraphrasing:
Kate: "well you sound like you really know what you're doing initially but I wonder if ...how are you like with relationships"
nige: "Oh, I'm not one of those guys that goes from girl to girl. I've just come off a gorgeous summer romance in the US! I'm either dating someone seriously or getting ready to marry them".
Kate: "Oh really?"
nige: "Yes (blahblahing about how what a relationship guy he is).
Kate: "Well, I'm just wondering how many times have you been ready to get married then?
Nige: (starting to say something - cut off)
Kate: "Cause I was ready to get married once and you know what? I actually did it! Have you?"
nige: (doing a Harold Holt and drowning).

It was awesome! The thing about the pick up artist is that it's all well and good until the girls grow up and get a clue. This is why the pick up artist's prime target is goes chicks under 25. This fact was further proven by the point that a woman who happened to be listening into this conversation piped up and said that she found nige amusing. oh whyyy? She said she was 33 and that kind of stuff would have worked on her when she was much younger but not now that she knows what she wants. Nige retorted that this woman just "thinks she understands the psychology of it" but actually if they met in person this kind of stuff would have her beaten. Lovely guy.

He finished off the interview slagging off Melbourne women for being too snobby (ie: has had no luck!) I don't know what makes Melbourne women different from the women anywhere else ('cept that we're probably not that willing to wear a gold bikini and fill parking meters) but I'm loving us!

And that's the end of my pathetic morning. I suppose I should pretend like I'm doing work eh?

*EDIT* you know what we had for morning tea in the staffroom? CAKE. bastards!