Sunday, September 10, 2006

baby waybey

Auntie M and Auntie #1 have offcially wicially lost their good friendy wendy F to baby talkies. Ohhhh yesss they have! They might be a bit saddy waddy while they wait for F-ey wefey to come back to the land of the normal people. Let's do aeroplanes..yes let's! weeeeeee!

In case you needed the adult version, we have officially lost F to the land of the permanently preoccupied facial expression and general municipality of baby talk. #1 is already doing it with her dog (you know, the crotch sniffer) so when her waters finally give way she will be there in that strange land as well - and where will that leave the baby challenged people like moi eh? Hitting her head against a brick wall, that's where! With all this baby talk going on, I've never felt more like Bridget Jones in my life!

You'll be having a conversation, pouring your heart out in fact, and then suddenly you'll hear "ohhhh who's mummy's gooooood widdle boy?" and you know she's floated off somewhere nicer. I wonder if I'll be the same way should I ever spawn my own surprise child at 60 - but I have a feeling I'm more the, having strange conversations that make no sense type, rather than the goo goo ga ga type - but hey you never know! When I had ducks I did scare the shit out of them by running outside and trying to hug them everyday until they ran and sheltered under the cactus plant (where it was obvious I couldn't reach them) whenever they saw me. Perhaps I will be so utterly besotted by the cuteness of my own child (err, hope it's cute) that I will scare it silly with hugs until it runs and hides from me as well. One can only hope anyway.

I am finding myself being deliberately inflamatory more often than normal lately. If I know someone has an ideological weakness I will exploit it by saying something that will rile them up. I don't know why I do it - one day it's going to get me punched in the face. F, for instance, is a child psych and so I know if I make a comment about children it sets her off. Now, I'm a big hippy and when it comes to children's nurturing and god I can't think of anything worse than cruelty towards them in anyway. So when I said "ooh, I hate it when children throw temper tantrums in supermarkets because they don't get what they want. Is it okay to spank children in public? I'm all for public spanking. Line 'em up and spank 'em down" I totally didn't expect her to laugh. Damn, I'm wearing off on people. I will have to find another way to antagonise.

In other news I had a dream about one of you last night. Don't worry your chastity belts are all still firmly in place but I did wake up thinking "wtf?" a bit.