Saturday, September 30, 2006


I'm hyperventilating a bit about returning back to school on Monday. I can't tell you how much I enjoy my holidays. They're blissful. I don't really need to lay in the sun in Vanuatu to feel bliss, I don't. Bliss is purely a state of mind. Eating toast is blissful when you're happy and relaxed. I just truly enjoy getting up each morning and doing my own thing - not worrying about anybody except myself and wondering what adventures the day will bring. I'm a happier person for it. I'm a saner person too. The holidays are so spontaneous and lovely. One minute you're in your pajamas eating your lunch (yeah, okay I'm allowed) the next you're playing kick to kick with a 5 year old and not worrying about having to assess his progress on kicking. Work is never really boring, but it's predictable and stifling. I suppose that is the nature of any work really. You are woken by the alarm, wash, rinse, repeat, eat, leave, work, home, eat, play, sleep, start again. I like it when I can pick and choose exactly what I'm going to do and when I'm going to do it, but I'm not the leader of the world now am I?

Are you a workaholic? Do you think about work when you're not at work? Is work something you do for fulfillment or just to get money? Are we kidding ourselves with this career fulfillment thing anyway?

I'm also generally feeling a bit under the weather. I don't know if it's psychosomatic or whether I'm hungover, whether I have allergies (can they come on in your late 20s?) or whether I'm simply coming down with something. Perhaps all are to blame. I'm also a little down, because I've done my finances and that's NEVER good. I was trying to think of ways I could improve myself... but I can't short of "marrying a Fijian hotel mogul" (thanks Phil) as was the suggestion of #1 (very sound advice). Then, all I wanted to do was stand in front of the fish bowl making kissy faces at Squishy Face (which always makes me feel better) but of course Squishy is just not around anymore. I looked at the empty bowl with the blue pebbles sitting at the bottom and felt sad. It was all quite depressing.

Anyway, I do have a plan, it just involves being a little brave. I can be brave... I think. And if it doesn't happen, then onto plan B. Which also involves being rather brave. Worse luck.