Sunday, October 01, 2006

a question or two, for you

I'm dying to ask you a couple of questions. It's in the best interests of anthropological research that they are answered.

Guys - do you notice if girls (or..erm, guys) look down at your crotch? It's pretty much a given that if you're a woman then you have breasts (wow). Having breasts pretty much means you will be oggled or cat called or something. Men are delightfully unsubtle when it comes to checking out the goods. It's flattering or at least kind of amusing when you see them trying NOT to glance but failing like every other typical guy.

The hilarious thing about it is that they actually think they are being subtle. I've met many a "don't worry about me, I'm smooth" guy whose attempts at going unnoticed are laughable. No, boys you are never subtle. Never. I promise, NEVER. Most of the time I just wait for the glance, like it's a token gesture of male/female encounters. Hi, my name is RandomGuy. I work with underprivileged children *glance at tits* and hoping to build an orphanage in a Fiji for them (err..do you by any chance own a chain of hotels?). If they can do the glance and then bring it home again by talking to ME then it's all good but after the initial glance the last thing I want is some sort of gorilla boy drooling at my bazoongas and not even noticing that I'm human. I've spent many an evening talking to men who talk to my breasts and nothing else. It's uncomfortable. Hi, I'm up here..yep, yep that's right...up..up...down, down, down okay there you go again. sigh, you suck.

And you know what? Some of the worst oggling I've gotten has been from other girls - namely prin, who spent the better part of my first year at school talking to my breasts. And yes I've had me a look too. The difference is when a girl is checking out the goods it's amusing - it's not really lascivious at all, just inquisitive (okay the prin thing was fucking weird and I was really glad when she finally realised that they weren't going to rise up and attack her and stopped looking altogether).

In case you didn't know, most girls (?) glance down towards the crotch area at some point or another. Some girls aim their glance squarely to the butt, but meh to that - I'm not a butt girl, I'm more a shoulder/eyes girl. Some girls will glance at your crotch. I think we're pretty subtle about it but I don't know what we hope to achieve by doing it, because most men wear pants that MC Hammer would turn down as 'too big'. But, it happens. So boys, chances are that groin glancing has happened to you, the question is - have you noticed? and How does it make you feel?

Further questions: As you may know, some girls stuff their bras. In fact you would be surprised at how many girls put those chicken fillets in their bras, and discretely get rid of them before getting down. Do men stuff their crotch with something? Have you ever or does it only happen in movies like Porkys?

Do you know any men who have had penis enlargements (surgical or not)? Have you?

Inquiring minds want to know.