Monday, October 30, 2006

recipe of me

You know how they say you are what you eat? I figure you are what you read, listen to and watch too. All those incidental seemingly frivolous things that we tend to laugh off are the ones that describe us best. Sometimes when I watch tele or read a book or listen to a song there's a sense of recognition that runs through me that's like me! Pop culture is part of how we identify ourselves. The things we engage in and consume define us probably better than we care to admit.

So without hesitation - here is the rather patchy and in no way even half complete recipe of me.

I am all about making up stupid dances in order to get my mojo back. A la Wet Hot American Summer

(15 humps of the fridge worth)

Sometimes I like a good gossip fest a la "The Telephone Hour" Bye Bye Birdie

(2 phonecalls and a call wait worth)

Although I am scatterbrained, eternally single and basically a nervous wreck you can bet that underneath there is something a little more interesting going on. A la Selina Kyle in Batman Returns

(13 gallons of spilled coffee and a saved by kitty litter worth)

"I don't think you have particularly good manners with ladies" said Pippi. then she lifted him high into the air with her strong arms. She carried him to a nearby birch tree, and hung him across a branch. then she took the next boy and hung him on another branch and then she look the next one and sat him on the high gatepost outside the house, and then she took the next one and threw him right over the fence, leaving him sitting in a bed of flowers in the next-door garden. She put the last of the bullies into a little toy cart that stood on the road. Then Pippi and Tommy and Annika and Willie stood looking at the boys a while, and the bullies were quite speechless with astonishment.

Pippi said, "You are cowards! Five of you go after one boy. That's cowardly. And then you begin to push a little defenceless girl around. Oh, how disgraceful! Nasty!"

I can't stand any kind of bullying behaviour on 'underdogs' - especially from rude boy bullies. I probably will always see myself as your protector (if you're my friend) even if you are older, wiser, stronger, smarter and totally have *my* back.

(13 kicks to mean boys' shins)

I have been known to make a wise crack or two. I'm a bit "quirky". I love my motown - LOVE IT! Sometimes I say ridiculous things. I am passionate when I get riled up and when I'm on fire I can sooooo kick some major arse! a la Murphy Brown. I absolutely idolised this show (and Murph) while growing up!

(1000 decibels of "Why Do Fools Fall In Love")

I've lost count of how many times I've read it. Basically she's the black sheep of the family who basically learns to depend on herself. I totally identify with Jane Eyre for so many different reasons (or maybe I just identify with the mad woman in the attic - depends on the day I suppose).

(3 encounters with a mean old family member)

Like Janeane's character in The Truth About Cats and Dogs I have my insecurities too - on radio she can be more herself than what she can in real life - similarly am probably better in blogland than in real life!

(18 times shy worth)

"Why does Marcia get everything?" Yes, why does she?! a la Jan Brady The Brady Bunch

(3 cups of Marcia, Marcia, Marcia)

I won't hear one bad word against The Golden Girls - it is the absolute shit! I love it! I have had many a conversation with the buds as to who is who on this show. When we proclaimed M as Blanche (because of her vast "experience") she got very offended and wouldn't speak to the rest of us for days. E and I had an argument about which one of us was Dorothy once. I insisted that I was, because of the whole sarcastic teacher thing, but she insisted that she was much more bitter and twisted than I could ever be and that I was the apparently the funny old glue that holds everyone together - Sophia. I still think I'm the bitter and twisted Dorothy - plus see that look she's giving the camera? I can totally do that look and do bring it often! That's what is known as 'the teacher look'.
(5 heaped cups of sassy pants)

I don't want to go on any manhunts with the other girls. I just want to do fun stuff. Is that so hard to understand? a la Gidget.

(1 rather wistful sigh and a crush on the big kahuna worth)

You know the best thing about aeroplanes? Apart from the peanuts in the little silver bags, I mean. It's looking out of the windows at the clouds, and thinking, maybe I could go walking in there. Maybe it's a special place where everything's okay. Sometimes I do go walking in the clouds. But it's just cold and wet and empty, but when you look out of a plane it's a special world...

When you say words a lot they don't mean anything. Or maybe they don't mean anything anyway, and we just think they do.

I have my weird insular moments that no one else in the whole world understands a la Delirium in The Sandman.

(3 fishes full)

Music freak who makes obsessive lists - a la Rob Gordon High Fidelity

(10 lists written messily and dated)

In school M and I would rather embarrassingly sing showtunes all through class and give impromptu performances (obviously I wasn't one of the popular girls) a la Connie and Carla

(76 trombones full)

Totally living in my head with the world's wildest imagination a la Zoe in Cherish. When I saw this movie for the first time I just thought that's me ...right down to the daggy music tastes and singing into the hair dryer while wearing roller skates.

(18 lollypops sucked)

All bravado - no sense. Will only 'quit it' when someone stronger than me puts their foot down. A la Calamity Jane.

(45 pistol shots into the air)

Bookworm, eternal librarian, dreamy, ridiculously idealistic, argumentative, funny dance moves, can't sing for shit but will try anyway - a la Jo Stockton in Funny Face.

(35 meetings with strange men in Paris worth)

Messy handbag - check
Dandruff art - check.
Wearing a fuck load of black - check.
anti-social - sometimes.
Cereal/chip and sugar sandwiches - check.
wacko dancing - check.
A la Allison Reynolds in The Breakfast Club
(1 growl and a strange sound worth)

Underneath I'm a total geek and goody goody. I get into trouble without meaning to. I'm terribly idealistic. I want a break from my old life. I totally blame Phil for alerting me to this one about fifty billion years ago in some entry of mine where he made a comment about my wacko ideas reminding him of Linsday - but yes, I agree. So for all those things I'm Lindsay Weir, from Freaks and Geeks.

(a joint, inhaled but immediately regretted worth).

Purely for the fig tree metaphor. If there is one thing that could typify my rather flawed approach to things it's the fig tree metaphor in The Bell Jar. Not knowing which one to pick and so they all turn rotten, shrivel and die. How cheery!

(28 figs - sliced)

Maybe I'm a little bit Peppermint Patty every now and again with my frankness, but let's be honest she's waaay too sporty to be me - I'm a little more Marcie from Peanuts: I'm crap at sports. I can be a little naive sometimes and need a bit of protecting. I'll totally help you with your homework if I think you're a true friend and I have a secret crush on Charlie Brown.

(5 polished pairs of glasses worth)

If you want an instruction manual to me (unlikely) read - Quirkyalone by Sasha Cagen. I identified immediately.

(6 tales of romantic idealism worth)

Hal Hartley's Trust is one of my all time favourite movies. So yes, Maria - but only after she puts on the uncool dress, trades the contacts in for glasses, starts asking many questions and turns into a total librarian. Need to be saved? Maybe.

(5 exploding grenades worth)

pfeeeeee, of course! I hear you think. But yes - yes I read it, cried, got angry, got really sad and then got even angrier. I identify with much of it and at the same time not all of it speaks to me. A great book for a femmo.

(5 feminists wearing pink shoes worth)

This album doesn't so much remind me of me - but instead is just a part of me.

(3 rounds of rolling around on the floor worth)

Like Karen Carpenter I hang out with my bro a lot. We get along rather famously these days. Sometimes we're a team...other times I want to punch his lights out. <3

(2 quaaludes and an hour on the treadmill worth)

Eclectic, a bit weird, sometimes unexpected, soulful, has it's poignant moments and lots of silly ones, sometimes incredibly sexy, or forward, or confronting - a little tongue in cheek. This album is sooo me.

(having a go at using these broken wings to learn to fly, worth)

Mystery, intrigue, hidden secrets, lots of people admitting to being a lush a la Hollywood Babylon (aka: one of my most favourite books, ever).

I don't know how I could forget to include her - this little icon of mine. As a kid I was absolutely obsessed with Alice and her trips down the rabbit hole. I used to go looking for rabbit holes that I could dissapear into (hello Freud!). So, for the dumb thoughts, weird dreams, conversations with strange animals, naivety and general 'I've had enough and now I'm going to make you all pay' attitude a la Alice. I still identify with her even though I'm all grown up. And even though I'm all grown up if I come across an edition of Alice that I don't own I'll buy it ;)

I can identify with the feeling of always playing second fiddle, the insecurities, the constant wonderings about people - and there always happens to be an evil Mrs Danvers around, unfortunately. a la Rebecca

And last but not least (cause otherwise I'll keep finding more and more things to add to the list) - and just because I love this song to bits. A nod to motown, which always gives me a little buck up when I need it.
Reach Out (I'll be there) - The Four Tops

(played loud and danced to rather embarrassingly until caught by the cute but little bit crazy painter guy, a la Murphy Brown)

Mix until smooth.
Bake in a moderate oven.
Serve hot with a side of crazy cake.

ps: what the hell is going on with blogger lately? Am I going to be forced to relocate to wordpress or diaryland? ugh.