Sunday, October 08, 2006

wave your hands if you're not with a man.

* The house hunting continues. I love looking through people's homes and wondering about who lives there. I really believe that the places we live in capture some of our energy. Some houses feel good, others feel not so good. It's got nothing to do with bricks and mortar. Yesterday I came upon a little place in the dodgy part of town that I'm considering quite strongly. I say dodgy part of town because I saw a man performing a wee bit of public urination (wee bit, geddit?!). I hate public urinators - they're always look so smug and proud of themselves. Gee, you just emptied your bladder in a public street, what's to be proud of? Anyhoo, there are a couple of things that are holding me back about this place

1) living with public urinators.
2) I already want to change the facade and it's a unit. Being a unit means I can't do whatever the hell I want because of body corporate - and well, I pretty much operate on the 'doing whatever the hell I want' philosophy.

Anyway asside from that the place had a good feel. They (it was a couple) had a fuck load of incense burning though and a shelf full of goddess-type massage oils and the study had a shelf full of feminist lit, philosophical texts, KD Lang biog and a low carb diet book. In fact there was no sign of men anywhere. It was quite refreshing since the place I went to before that had a photo of a naked man sitting on a rock (??) and in another house the couple had their marriage certificate on the WALL (folks, I stood there with bro and both laughed out loud at the certificate until someone told us to move along - we went into the bedroom and the marital bed was HILARIOUS on the husband's bed side table there was a picture of his wife. On the wife's side there was a picture of the husband. For fucks sake THEY ARE THERE WHEN YOU WAKE UP YOU GODDAMN FREAKS!). Anyway, back to the lesbian mansion, then I walked into the hallway and saw:

This picture on the wall. A picture which I happen to have myself as outlined here, in this entry. Now, that's a coincidence isn't it? I think that all coincidences is the universe's way trying to tell us something (no the incense didn't go to my head).

I think the universe might be sending me a message to become a lesbian. God knows I have contemplated it a lot - maybe I should. Do you think it's possible to convince yourself to change sexuality or is sexuality an instinct that you're pretty much stuck with? I do get on with women better than I do men, I don't really like KD Lang but she does have a good voice, I don't like walking in heels very much, I don't support flattering men by laughing flirtily when they behave like idiots and I'm a femo. Doesn't that pretty much guarrantee me a life of girl loving? Of course the universe could also be telling me to buy the place, but I don't know. The lesbian thing DOES seem quite probable. I'll have to think about it.

* This past week has seen my dreams become scary. A few nights ago I was chased by a gang of gangster type men who all wanted to kill me for some reason or another - I had to scale a fence in my skirt and it got stuck on a piece of splintery wood rendering me helpless. Then there was the dream about the puppy dog that didn't want to be my friend even though I was trying so hard to entertain it and be nice. Who could forget the one about buying an apartment where the pay off was becoming a sex slave (yes, I accepted)? And last night was the dream where a cowboy pointed a gun at my face and started firing rounds - each of them blank.

Dream analysts, do your worst.

* This morning I got up and spent about 10 minutes in front of the mirror wondering what it would be like to be Madonna - then I quite embarrassingly proceeded to sing "holiday" into my hairbrush. I don't know. Do men ever stand in front of the mirror wondering what it would be like to be Chuck Norris and then do a couple of roundhouse kicks?

Okay I'm going to go watch some episodes of Weeds (this show is so great!) and then download some KD Lang. A girl's gotta start somewhere.

*EDIT* I was just watching an episode of Weeds where they had a whole bit on masturbation. Anyway, the young son was you know..going for it A LOT but flushed his tube socks - which blocked up the pipes, creating havoc. So his uncle comes along and tells him all these *other* common ways that he can get rid of the pearl jam (so to speak). One particular way was masturbating into a banana skin (a la American Pie style). Do people DO that? Please, someone set me straight!