Tuesday, November 07, 2006

Breaking News: Lionel Wins The Showdown!

Fuck that midday thing, I'm going to go right ahead and declare that Lionel Richie is the winner of the Musical Monday Showdown by two votes. Thank you for helping me make my decision - trust me when I say that I've been thinking about this one for years. Now, when someone asks me who I think should be executed for the other to live and prosper under musical Armageddon I will answer with complete confidence - Billy Ocean.

Anyway, that was exciting but back to the normal old drivel.

I have this doona cover that I swear gives me weird dreams. It's a deep claret colour and it's made from quite a heavy fabric. I don't know if the heaviness of the cover affects how I sleep, or the colour puts me in a mood ripe for craziness - maybe it's because it was cursed by Satanists (I hear this can happen at the Sheridan factory) - I don't know. But whatever it is, I sleep like a rock and have fucked up dreams whenever I plant myself under it.

Last night I dreamed that our crappy 3 minute movie from the movie project was being made into a real Hollywood movie directed by Stephen Spielberg. Admittedly, they had to pad the storyline out somewhat in order to make it to the regulation 90min extravaganza (actually that's weird since SS's movies are usually an excruciating 3 hours long these days - without needing to be may I add - maybe he didn't want to waste 3 hours on a crappy kids movie eh?) - but I never expected them to pad it out quite so interestingly. Anyway, suffice to say, shooting took a wrong turn in the scene where Jack Nicholson leaves "my grandmother" (err), pushes me up against the wall and has his nasty way with me. I remember thinking this isn't part of the script, and then it was on! He was talking the whole time, but I can't remember what he was saying. Then I woke up.

What the fuck? I mean seriously, WHAT THE FUCK?

Yesterday we had a report writing day at school. How much report writing do you really think I got done when there were lamingtons available all day in the staffroom and teachers to catch up with? I swear to God I spent the whole day either eating, checking my email or bitching to someone about why we even had to be there when it was obvious that everyone else in Melbourne was taking a four day weekend.

We had a staff meeting at the beginning of the day where we had to list our "wish list" for things to spend the excess left over from the budget. We do this every year. Every year we talk about what a great idea it would be to put a cover over the tennis courts so that PE could still happen on rainy days - every year we end up with some sort of beautification being done to the grounds instead. This year we'd obviously had it because day spa and winery ended up on the list.

Someone googled "metaphorical stories on bullying" the other day and came up with this journal. Gee, the guy/girl would have got here to find my little rant about Lionel and Billy. That would have been quite some letdown on his/her part - sorry to disappoint mate. Also sorry to disappoint all the anal sex fiends that find their way here after my little entry about the anal queen the other day. Should I put some other choice phrases on here just to see if anyone actually says hello? I wanna see who comes here for King sized butt plugs.