Thursday, March 08, 2007

...running around trying to find certainty

Well I was tagged by the lovely Steph to write a list of 10 'when I was a kid' things.

* When I was a kid I used to stand on our balcony and shout "I love you and I want to marry you" over the fence and to the boy next door. I did it almost every day - how's that for OMG stalker? He was about 10 years older than me and mortified by my bravado. Looking back, probably not the wisest of crushes for a 5 year old.

* When I was a kid I'd make my dad proper coffee (percolated) and a slice of toast and bring it to him in bed every Sunday (mum worked on Sunday). I just loved doing that.

* When I was a kid I would beg my parents for things like boxes, buttons, real paints, paintbrushes, glue, glitter, coloured paper etc so that I could make things. I loved making things like houses for my dolls and cash registers out of cereal boxes. I wanted a doll house so much but they were too expensive, so I made my own (it was a bit crappy).

* When I was a kid I made myself a Wonder Woman outfit. I found this great shiny silver (or maybe it was gold..) cardboard in the cupboard and I made myself some those bracelets and a wonder woman crown. My skipping rope was a lasso and I wore my blue bathers and paraded around. Boy did I love Wonder Woman!

* When I was a kid I got into a standoff with another girl at kindergarten. I had brought a perfume bottle from home for show and tell (as ya do) and one of the other kids lied and said that it was hers and TOOK IT! I was not impressed with that at all. I hate liars. So I took the bottle back and then we had this fight in the bathroom which resulted in me throwing the lid of the bottle at her head. It hit target and she started crying so I ran and hid under the tables in the main room. I had to be coaxed out with soothing words. I remember thinking I'm never going to come out from under here ever again. I'm going to live here. I don't think I've ever been so traumatised by my own actions in my whole life! The next day for the first time ever, I didn't want to go to Kindy.

* When I was a kid I had a best friend called Peg. We wanted to be twins badly so we decided to dress exactly the same way everyday. We planned our outfits down to the crimped big 80s hair. No one was ever fooled except our grade 5 teacher Mrs Hurt (great name for a teacher) who always got confused by our awesome identicalness (made up word).

* When I was a kid and someone I didn't know very well came to visit our house I'd go and hide behind the couch and just stay there all scrunched up in a little human ball. I remember being quite a feisty little one but after about 5 or 6 I got scared of people and I got shy.

* When I was a kid my cousin MT had a 21st dress up birthday party. I was about 9 years old. I dressed up as a sailor girl. I had a white sailor hat with (the ends turned up). That became my favourite hat and I wore it everywhere. Didn't do so much for keeping the sun off, but it was so trendy!

* When I was a kid I couldn't stand to see people being bullied - still can't. I especially couldn't stand this happening to my little brother. People who are cruel to others/make fun of others are real pieces of work. Despite being quite painfully shy as a kid, once I heard little bro was being bullied by one of the mean boys in my grade I went right up and confronted him by yelling my head off in his face. I was so angry! He was real nice to my brother after that. Grr..it still makes me mad actually. Recently Bro told me about something not quite right that someone at his work did to him. Bro is can certainly handle himself but all I want to do is go right down there and kick the shit out of someone.

* When I was a kid I had "mishaps" in the kitchen. I loved the idea of cooking but I never could get it quite right. I'd always leave the oven on and forget there was something in there. Once I left a cake in the oven on for 2 and a half hours while I went outside and played! The kitchen was filled with black smoke when I returned. oops.

I tag anyone who wants to do it.

Lately I've been feeling a little contemplative and just ..I don't know how to describe the feeling. Like something is not quite right. I feel like the real me has gone on holidays and left behind a hazy not so static me. I feel blurry around the edges, like a water colour painting...

I feel like I'm about to be forgotten. Not yet..just an almost forgotten myth.

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