Sunday, April 22, 2007

all work and no play makes random a dull boy

I seem rather incapable of keeping my mind on task for long enough to make a blog entry worth pressing publish for. I just write, delete, start, stop, think, write and then press that funny little x in the corner and walk away..or slip away.. or something that involves being "away".

Then again, perhaps it isn't really the fact that I can't concentrate long enough to do it, just that I'm concentrating far too much on being introspective instead - I should stop that. Bad habit.

Since I can't write anything vaguely cohesive or interesting you'll have to put up with these random ramblings instead. I hope that's okay with you, or maybe you're pressing the little x right now too.

* I've discovered a cheap way to buy chocolate. Buy left over easter eggs in the supermarket. Yes of course you end up looking a little unfortunate for buying ex-easter eggs, but it's cheap and yummy. Chocolate is chocolate folks - even if it comes in colourful foil decorated in bunny motifs.

* We got much needed rain yesterday. Of course it was the one day I decided it would be a good idea to venture outdoors... without an umbrella.

* I stopped in at the gallery to view last years VCE Top Art exhibition. That would be Art from year 12 students last year. I always find art from young teenagers to be inspiring. Their ideas haven't yet been squashed by the heavy hand of art consumerism, nor by trying to be 'gallery acceptable' stuff. It's accessible and unpretentious yet strangely fresh. Some of it was cliche and predictable but some was not. I spent a lot of time staring at the life sized plaster models of 'ordinary people'. Despite not having faces I had a moment where I thought they were going to reach out and grab me.

* Big Brother offers his divine version of human interaction on a grand scale for the devouring tonight (housemate Cruz: Cruz believes men are superior to women because Jesus was a man.. hahahahah). I, for one am excited. I don't care if it's insipid television. I don't care if it represents all that is wrong with the world. I am fully willing to take anyone down in a fist fight of glory who refuses to watch BB because it's too trashy yet will sit in front of Grey's Anatomy or Desperate Housewives every week. Talk about insipid TV for brainless drones! Worse still those that don't watch either but have a blog they write in instead. Let's not pretend we're so above pop culture eh? Yes, I'm being pre-defensive.

* John Howard decides the best way to combat the drought problem is to pray for rain.

"I said in Queensland a couple of days ago without any sense of irony or any sense of being other than totally serious that we should all pray for rain."

Indeed, perhaps he has been reading The Secret. I'm going to pray for the libs to lose the next election - in fact, I have a feeling I might not even vote for them.

* The other day I did a class with the upper levels about team work and belonging - by way of Aboriginal art. Our activity involved small group work where everyone had to work to create a symbol that represented their tribe and therefore themselves. Everyone in the group HAD to agree on the symbol and all components of the symbol - if not it couldn't be used. When the groups were about half way through drawing their symbols I rearranged some people so that the groups were new and asked them to scrap the old symbol and come up with something that was inclusive of the new group.

The class brought up a lot of issues of leadership, including, belonging, communication friendships etc. Most kids handled it really well. One didn't. He was shouting and crying about being taken away from his friends and how it was unfair for me to make them scrap an idea they had worked so hard on. He wouldn't talk to his new group, he wouldn't interact. He ran off and had a tantrum in the corner of the room.

Anyway, the whole thing got me thinking about the way that I interact in groups. I had done a similar activity with adults a while ago and noticed that in group situations I tend to ask questions and will contribute but only if I feel like I'll be heard. If I'm threatened or ignored I'll get my back up and take myself out of the situation entirely. Once I'm out, I'm out. I realise this is a symptom of self defense from years and years of never being heard and always being ignored. One learns to self preserve by withdrawing emotion and taking a step back.

The problem is - how do you stop doing that when it's seemingly a reflex?

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