Monday, July 17, 2006

embarrassing musical monday

I think we've already established that under the highly polished exterior of this journal *cough* I'm a big old dork. I think it's pretty safe to say that the longer you've read me, the dorkier you know me to be. It takes a while for it to shine though. Okay, it takes about 5 minutes. Sure, I've had my skirt fall down in Bunnings, enjoy reality television (all television), partake in donut eating, had a mega crush on David Lee Roth in the 80s, am a klutz and have perpetual foot in mouth disorder. But generally these things go almost unnoticed if I'm sitting very still and have duct tape secured over my mouth. However if you found me in this position there is still one area where my rather embarrassing dorkiness will shine through.

Technology is a bitch.

And so I'll save you the trouble of checking and I'm going to go ahead and give you the list of the most embarrassing songs on my ipod that yes, would die of shame if anyone found out about them. Thank god I only actually know one of you. phew.

If you Like Pina Colada - Jimmy Buffett.
It's sort of ironic..okay it's not

Cry Little Sister (theme from the Lost Boys) - Gerard McMann
Basically if your name is Gerard there is no hope for you in the rock world (was Jerry Garcia a Gerard? If so then my theory still counts because he was foremost a HIPPY and that cancels everything else out). I blame the movie The Lost Boys and my love of vampires.

Supermodel - Ru Paul
I love Ru Paul, he's better than Miss J from America's Next Top Model. And yet, I am so ashamed

Devil Woman - Cliff Richard
embarrassing ...and yet still somehow better than the pina colada song!

Carribean Queen - Billy Ocean
she's simply...awesome! ooooooooooOOOh

I've never been to Me - Charlene
it reminds me of the frilly girl with the big hat in the flake commercial. mmmm..flake

Gotta Pull Myself Together - The Nolans
quite possibly the most shameworthy song on my list. I have no words. I would apologise but I'm actually going to sit here a moment and sing along with it okay?

Total Eclipse of the Heart - Bonnie Tyler
I used to pump it on the "good stereo" and sing it to myself as a child and then twirl around until I threw up - that is not a lie btw. I seriously did that ALL the time. I mean I didn't throw up every time..but pretty close

Could it be Magic? - Take That (also have the Barry Manilow version)

What's New Pussycat? - Tom Jones.
come on, you love it too! maybe not.

You can Call me Al - Paul Simon
a few too many shrooms me thinks

Edge of Seventeen - Stevie Nick
I never actually realised this was dorky and embarrassing until that scene in "School of Rock" where the Joan Cusack gets all excited by it being on the juke box. I just sat there and thought "oh my god, you - my deluded girl are a dork!" It was a realisation. Yep.

Copacobana - Barry Manilow
"His name was Rico. He wore a diamond." 'Nuff said.

I'm Gonna Be (500 Miles) - The Proclaimers
Probably the most fucked up song ever written and yay, it's on my ipod!!

I'm Your Man - Wham
yeah, I was suckered in my the rather poetic "if you're gonna do it, do it right, right, do it with me" bit

Islands in the Stream - Dolly Parton and Kenny Rogers
I fucking love this song. You leave it alone!

Far from Over - Frank Stalone.
yes.. Frank STALONE! Yes, it's from the movie Staying Alive, the sequel to "Saturday Night Fever" Yes, I learnt the dance. Anything else you want to know? argh!

Ca Plane Pour Moi - Plastic Bertrand
even after learning French I still couldn't understand the damn song and yet still find it strangely alluring. wooOOO OOO OOO

Feliz Navidad - Bony M
If you hate this song you have NO HEART!!!!! (also you may be in danger of having better taste than me)

Love Will Keep Us Together - Captain and Tennille
I'm going to go out on a limb here - I'm not actually all that embarrassed by this one, so there!

Touch me (I want your Body) - Samantha Fox
oh christ, how the hell did that get in there? okay I downloaded it and put it in!

It's Raining Men - Geri Halliwell
I'm soooo glad I don't know you guys. hahaha

Calendar Girl - Ricky Nelson
There is no excuse. I can't even say I was drugged and had impaired judgement or that someone made me put it on while they held a gun to my head. Nope, it was all me.

Xanadu/Magic - Olivia Newton John
have evaluated my feelings on this and now realised that ...am not even ashamed actually.

Bad Blood - Neil Sedaka and Elton John.
hahahahahahaha oh...god.

Please Release Me - Englebert Humperdink
Please release this song from my ipod!

I was Made for Dancing - Leif Garrett
Have you seen that movie "Spirit of 76"? Well, if you *get* that movie then you *get* the inclusion of crap 70s songs on my ipod

Christmas Happy - John Farnham
...I know all the words.

Good Morning Starshine - Oliver James
Obviously a WTF? moment in the music industry

Boom Boom (let's go back to my room) - Paul Lekakis
you know how sometimes you upload a whole "various artists" CD on to itunes and the crap songs somehow get through and then for better or worse you decide not to delete the crap song? yeah.

She's like the Wind - Patrick Swayze
"she leads me to moonlight only to burn me with the sun". Yes, girls are soooo calculating and dangerous Patrick. Beware those freaky flying women.

Afternoon Delight - Starlight Vocal Band
apparently slightly off key singing is my bag baby

Sould Kinda Feeling - Dynamic Hepnotics
the bad music fairies put it there, I swear!!

Cold Hearted Snake - Paula Abdul
ooo oooo remember when Keanu Reeves was in that video clip? Yeah, this wasn't it.

Angel of the Morning - Juice Newton
b..b.but, I *like* it.

Lambada - Kaoma
Not only the forbidden dance, but also the forbidden song

Love's Theme - The Love Unlimited Orchestra
...I know it's highly trashy but I love that wucca wucca sound.

Send me and Angel - Real Life
more like real embarrassing.

Shake - Andrew Ridgley
better known as the "other" guy from Wham. Better known as a song in my "other" genre

Macarthur Park - Donna Summer
I just don't understand why someone would leave a perfectly good cake in the rain. Are they completely nuts? It's a cake! C.A.K.E. cake! I fear many, many hallucinogenic drugs were consumed in the making of this song. The disco beat adds a whoooole other crappy dimension to this song and yet excuse me while I go listen to it in it's entirety.

Unskinny Bop - Poison
"Like gasoline you wanna pump me" hahahahhaha

She's a Bop Girl - Pat Wilson
Last year a fellow teacher at school was desperately looking for this song. She was told to ask me, for sure I'd have it. Yeah, I had it - I made her a mix cd of highly embarrassing songs. She loved it.

Macho Man - The Village People
so. much. retarded. love. for this song.

Bye Bye Baby - Bay City Rollers
Somehow the 70s churned out the best AND the worst in music and I have both on my ipod. Wow.

yeah, it's not all Amon Tobin and Portishead.
okay, sure I also have the whole of the Calamity Jane, Cabaret, Hall and Oates, Pajama Game, Pirates of Penzance, ELO, Bon Jovi and other assorted goddies inclding the whole Carpenters back catalogue and Brady Bunch songs (oh yes) but I'm not actually embarrassed by them. So you can only imaginge the rest eh?

you know how your mum says that you should always go out wearing a clean pair of undies in case you get run over by a bus? And that it's a common belief that you should have a "trusted friend" to take care of all the porn on your hard drive and eliminate the sex toys from your place if you should suddenly come to a gruesome end? Well I need someone to come over and wipe my ipod clean should I ever choke on a donut and die or something.

(to read my *real* MM post scroll down)