Sunday, August 06, 2006

Ms Quotegirl at your service.

me: We are constantly sign posted by this central identity of the aussie battler, the farmer, the drover and the settlers taming the wide brown land. Every time something good or bad happens we are reminded of this "little aussie battler" fellow - it's the only thing we're ever really asked to identify with - even if it means nothing. What do they have in Italy - do they even have a central ID?
Artist/Not-nun Cousin - that's always been very cute. Well, in Italy they have a few thousand years of civilisation and the Renaissance - so yeah.
Me: so, nothing more than that then? How sad for them.
I guess Oz has a bit to catch up on..

Me: hello! That weirdo guy just checked you out and now he's moving closer ..and oh my god he just winked at the back of your head!
E: ugh.
*silence. eating.*
E: Who the hell does he think he is? It's 4am. We're having our post-drunk eating binge at McDonalds. I have a diamond ring on the size of his head. What gives HIM the right to think he has a chance with ME? What part of me gave him any idea he can have a go? I don't even think he has a home! I greased him off for fucks sake. He is fucking dreaming. How DARE he!
Me: ...so, no chance then?
I guess not.

Prin: I don't know what I've done wrong. My daughters aren't married. I think it's because I never forced them to play with dolls when they were young girls!
Me: Well, S, I played with dolls and you don't see my Mother enjoying grandmotherhood now do you?
Prin: haha, yes I guess there isn't really much going on at work for the single girls. No good men.
Me: you need to hire someone lovely and very single. There are too many married guys at work!
Prin: I'll see what I can do. We'll get you sorted out!
Me: I was kidding!
S: oh but you refused my set up with P and now he's going out with that idiot secretary! We will all have to be on the lookout for you now.
Me: no, really - I'm just fine! I've decided on chocolate instead of men. Choclate is my friend!
Prin: Don't worry, we'll let you know if anyone nice comes to the front office - a quick announcement over the loud speaker
Me: oh god, this is getting out of hand. I don't want to come to work anymore. If I've gone missing you know I've hauled myself up somewhere rocking myself back to sanity.
ooh project!

Me: So I have to know T; what the hell happened with the nun thing? Why aren't you a nun?
T: I had to leave the "house".
Me: did you at least wear the habit?
T: ...no.
Me: damn. But why? What actually happened?

T: They were weird. Really....weird. They never did anything else but prayed and worked.
Me: err...they were fucking nuns! Of course they're weird! It isn't all Fraulein Maria, skipping off into the mountains you know
Though I'm sure if I was a nun I'd make that a priority.

Kid: Miss, my pet rabbit died on the Weekend.
Me: oh no! I'm so sorry. It's so sad when pets die - my fish: Moo Moo Head (*kids laughing hysterically at this*) died too. Then I think my other fish: Squishy Face might have killed off the new ones I put in the bowl. It was sad.
Kid: ...
Me: ...right, on with calling the roll then!
I don't think he was quite ready for that talk yet. oops.

Me: Today we're going to make a mistake painting. That's when someone makes a mistake on your page with paint and you turn the mistake into a masterpiece. Then you'll see that you don't need a new piece of paper every time you need a mistake
5 year old: WAAAAAAAAAH! But I don't want to make a mistake! NOOOOO. WAAAAAAAH! *tears literally coming out sideways*.
Me: That's a shame. Well, you're going to do it anyway!
He ended up loving it. damn kids *grumble*.

E: oh good you're finally here! Thank god!
Me: hm? sorry, always late - I know!
E: no, you're fine. It's just that L and I want to know about the guy that L was with on the weekend. We were both shitfaced and can't remember anything about him
L: What the hell did he look like? I've got a date with him in half an hour!
Me: Are you guys kidding? oh my god.
L: I just don't want to make the same mistake that I made last time and get my hopes up. That guy I went out with last week looked completely different without his pirate costume on!
Me: I feel sorry for this guy already.
He was lovely.

Bro: So what did you think of Michael Douglas?
Me: He was crap!
Bro: I wonder if the producers realise that they could have paid ANYONE to do the job MD did and saved on the MD price tag. He brought nothing to the role.
Me: Yeah, that's true. If they'd gotten someone like de Niro you know he would have nailed it!
Bro: I hate Michael Douglas.
Me: god, me too.
You, Me and Dupree.

R: I heard that in [insert another school name] they are patting down primary school age children as they're walking into the school. They've found knives and switch blades!
Me: you're kidding! That's so terrible. We're kind of lucky here aren't we?
R: Yes they've got that Dangerous Minds thing going on. Meanwhile we complain about classroom behaviour when our kids skip to class holding hands!
We *are* very lucky at my school.

J: This is one of the best schools I've CRTed at (emergency teaching).
Me: oh really?
J: Yeah the kids are lovely - you should see what's out there!
Me: So..what other schools are you at then? Go on!
J: I can't tell you, it's a code of ethics thing.
Me: J, please - I want to know!
J: nope sorry!
Me: *grumble*
J: okay, it starts with P.
Me: are you serious with this guessing game? No way *more grumbling*
J: hahahahahaha. I'm not telling.
Me: I'm not talking to you anymore!
J: So, I went to see a really good movie the other day. You would *love* it.
Me: oh? What was it?
J: well, I can't tell you. ...It starts with J.
Me: oh my god, you suck!
I am VERY easy to rile up.

Me: oh RO, you look absolutely wonderful! Look, you're glowing! We all look like hell, but you look stunning!
RO: It's amazing what not teaching for 4 months will do for you.
They say that wrinkles dissapear and it takes 10 years off your life!