[Miscellany]

RE Teacher: God chooses each and every one of us to do something special with our lives.
Kid: *whispering to another kid* My dad gets chosen to do the dishes a lot.
pissing myself laughing

Kid: My dad is losing all his hair
Other Kid: My dad isn't!
Kid: My dad said that when people lose their hair it means they're getting smarter
haha, I love dad logic!

Bro: Look, Coburg, you could live there..
me: ohh, you mean Ho-burg?
Bro: Footscray?
me: FootscraZy
Bro: You'd be near Highpoint Shopping Centre at least.
me: Yeah, I love Knifepoint shoppo
things are getting desperate

S: Can I have a bag for this cupcake? I won't eat it now but I'll take it home with me and eat it later.
#1: Sure.
Me: Yep, you don't want to be on the train with an exposed cupcake. The derros will be attracted to you. The idea is not to attract the derros.
S: haha.
F: M, oh my god - that's terrible, you can't say that! They're not derros!
Me: What are you talking about? sure they are.
F: I don't think you can say that.
Me: pfft! I love the derros on the train. I was just saying that S shouldn't have a cupcake exposed. They might attack her for it.
F: I'm telling #1 you called them that! You're implying this area is low class.
Me: hahahahaha, go on tell her. She'll agree with me. We talk about the derros a lot.
F: #1, M said "...". Can you believe that?
#1: yeah, of course they're derros!
Me: Personally, I love riling you up F.
F: you ALWAYS do it to me!
It's just that you make it so easy

Me: soo, for the next 5 years I'm not going to be able to have an adult convesation with you, am I?
With all that baby talk? Apparently not.

Me: so, tell us about the birth!
L: nooo, it was bad. It was SO BAD! HORRIBLE! I can't tell you. You'd be put off ever having one.
Me: Go on
R: no, I don't want to hear it.
Me: Tell it! Tell it!
L: Well, I ripped.
Me: JESUS CHRIST!
CHRIST - she went on to explain all the horrid details. It was like a Freddy Kruger story.

Person on street; *sneeze*
Companion: keep it to yourself.
Person: ....
Companion: I mean, bless you.
Person: ...
pms?

Me: BTM, he (baby) is just adorable. Look at those cheeks.
BlondeTeacherMum: I was a bit worried because hasn't started crawling yet
Me: I think people put too much emphasis on timeframes like that. Don't stress yet.
BlondeTeacherMum: Yeah, you're right. It's just that mother in law is always going on about how he should be crawling.
Me: Just how opinionated is she?
BlondeTeacherMum: You know when he (baby) had that dislocated shoulder and we couldn't figure out why he was crying all the time?
Me: yep.
BlondeTeacherMum: Mother in Law told me later that she thought he was Autistic but didn't want to WORRY me.
Me: Oh. My. God. Is she a child psychologist or doctor or something?
BlondeTeacherMum: No, she's just a bitch.
noice, huh?

BlondeTeacherMum: Hubby would kill me if he knew I told you but he's thinking of getting rid of all the hair down there.
BrunetteTeacher: They all should! They look feral!
Me: keep the chest hair though.
BrunetteTeacher: God no! Get RID of it!
Me: Really? I sort of like it, must be the Tom Selleck crush from childhood.
Hair or not for men? Whaddya reckon?

Labels: quotegirl

posted by M at 12:37 pm 19 comments