[Miscellany]

The other day I had coffee with my beloved E and L. They were telling me about the 'night on the town' (operation get L a boyfriend) they had while I was sick in bed throwing up my ice-cream (damn you ice-cream, why don't you love me when I love you so much?). It's no big secret that despite the sick thing I've sort of had enough of nights on the town not because I'm over getting maggoted or daggy dancing or even singing along to unmentionable songs at farking 3am (kill me) - but just because I find the meat market depressing and if I'm going out I'd rather not be depressed thanks. Back at the coffee shop E and L were telling me about how they were descended upon by a big bunch of boys (table for two it was apparently) who all dragged chairs from far and wide for a chance to be with them. I never quite understand the mentality of "wow, there are two girls - let's get a group of 10 and go over and bombard them". Everyone knows it's a two man job - hero and wing man. Sure, girls all laugh about the wing man manoeuvre but hey, it works. I'm not sure what these particular guys were planning - maybe they were going to play marbles to see who won them or something. Who knows?

Anyway, E was especially amused by her guy - whom she termed the pants dropping wing man - and how he never even asked her if she had a boyfriend when indeed, she has a husband. It's like he didn't care if I was married or not! He never looked down at my ring and even after I asked him if he had a girlfriend he never asked me; he just kept on talking. What is with guys? Can I add that E just happens to have the world's biggest diamond engagement and married ring on her finger. You could use it to cut through a rope. It's also blinding - I'm talking looking into the sun, kind of blinding, you cannot not notice it! We mused about whether men look for rings on girls or whether it even matters to them if they're all ringed up and married - because in their minds all girls are fair game.

I asked her if her marriage ever came up at all during the night and E said that it never did. She mused something that still has me thinking - For the married person, when do we disclose? If I blurt it our as soon as he comes over I'll look like I have tickets on myself and he'll get defensive but if he doesn't ask it'll never come up. I don't want to offend someone by assuming they are trying to pick me up when they will obviously deny ever doing such a thing and in the end make me look stupid and then exclude me from the group. Do I have a moral obligation to disclose my marital status even if we're just talking or should they not assume I'm single and ask me?.

What do you think?

Guys do you care if your pick up is married or not? Are all girls fair game? Do you look for a ring?

Girls, do you?

Labels: friends, marriage, questions, wonderings

posted by M at 1:50 pm 51 comments