Monday, November 06, 2006


Life is full of full of endless possibility and choice. I think most of the everyday choices we make are ones made on the go - not too much thought goes into them. Toast or cereal? Unleaded or Unleaded Super? Hair up or Down? Cardigan or not? Other choices are never really reconciled, even after the decision is made Him or HIM? Voting for whom? Does she pass the grade or not?

Then there are the choices that never really seem to get made. They are the ones you deliberate over for a while, get exhausted from thinking about them all day and then finally shelve it into the 'too hard' category - only to bring it out again next time with the hope of finally settling the decision once and for all.

It doesn't happen and so you shelve it again.

But there is one decision, one choice that will be settled here and now and you're going to help me make it, in our first:


That's right folks, I'm going to ask you to make one damn hard hitting musical decision and if you're a music lover in any way shape or form you will have already deliberated over it anyway. Battle lines shall be drawn. If one has to be eliminated for the other to musically exist, which do you pick?


Both had hideous hairstyles, both are known for their love of the 'fine knit sweater top' (sometimes just sweater..not even finely knit), both had many hit singles here and abroad, one could even argue that there isn't enough room in the world for both Billy and Lionel. Why do we need both, when one would surely suffice? A cruel attitude yes, but life is cruel folks.

Life is cruel.

Lionel Richie born Lionel Rockman Richie Jr in Alabama, USA. Once a member of the popular 70s soul and Motown act The Commodores ("Once, Twice, Three times a Lady" - not quite sure what this means) - left his soul roots behind to go solo. After which he was dubbed by a critic (and I quote from his wiki) - "the black Barry Manilow" (not good, I take it).

As a solo act he had such hits as Dancin' on the Ceiling, Hello, Say you Say me, Endless Love (without which we would never have that great ice-skating scene from Happy Gilmore/ not to mention the You Tube extravaganza of the GW Bush, John Howard spoof) and the truly great All Night Long (All Night) ("let the music play on, play on, play on, play on").

Known for his "soul glo" hairstyle, rather fetching mo and endless supply of turtle neck tops (or skivvies as we call 'em Down Under). He supplied the world with (adopted daughter) Nicole Richie and without him the Michael Jackson song We are the World wouldn't have been as erm...something.

With that in mind, I present to you one of my personal all time favourites: All Night Long - Lionel Richie (which he put on rather an embarrassing Caribbean accent in order to sing - perplexing).

Billy Ocean born, Leslie Sebastian Charles in Trinidad (instant cool props and could explain why Lionel felt the need to Caribbeanize (made up word) his own song), but based in the UK. Started his early musical career as Les Charles. Obviously that went nowhere since no one has ever heard of "Les Charles" and so he cleverly adopted Billy Ocean and soon after entered musical stardom (eighties style).

Ocean is known for such hits as Love Really Hurts Without You, (which contains the great lyric: "you're givin' it to some other guy" - where *it* refers to 'hot sex', I imagine). Stay the Night, There'll Be Sad Songs to Make You Cry, Caribbean Queen (No More Love on the Run) (There's that Caribbean thing again!) Loverboy (one of the only 'English' songs featured in the Russian movie "Dolly" in the house party scene - am I the only one to have seen this movie? 80s/Soviet life/Gymnastics?... Also featured on a Jazzercise video tape of mine from 198something). When the Going Gets Tough, the Tough Get Going (We're talking from the movie "Jewel of the Nile" here), Suddenly, Get Outta My Dreams, Get Into My Car (poignant) and the utterly forgettable Licence to Chill.

Billy is best known for his rather fetching white suits, writing songs for Latoya Jackson (for shame!), not being part of any known feeding the third world type songs and well..I can't explain this but it needs to be submitted to you, the jury as evidence anyway:

Is this a slap in the face to Lionel Richie's attempt at Caribbeanizing (made up word) himself in All Night Long? Is it simply his new look? Has he given up? Or is this the new cool? I'm confused. You must be too.

"I am twice the Caribbean you are!"

And so I present to you one of my favourites Loverboy - Billy Ocean (which contains the rather selfish lyric "gotta have your love, gotta have it, AAAAAALLL too myself").

Trivia from Wiki - AKA: Hey look they've both been made honourary somethings!
* Richie is a honorary member of Alpha Phi Alpha, the first intercollegiate Greek-letter fraternity established for African Americans.

* In 2002, the University of Westminster awarded Ocean an honorary doctorate of music.

Don't throw your vote away on a third party folks: PICK YOUR LEADER - Lionel Richie or Billy Ocean (and no, you can't pick both, as attractive as that may sound - and you can't pick neither either). Remember, make your choice wisely as in this game one cannot exist while the other roams free. If you're THAT embarrassed about your mad gay (some think of both as ladies) love for Lionel/Billy then just answer anonymously or by email. I won't track you down.

Sorry wdky, I know you're shaking your head in horror - and yet you still must vote.