Wednesday, November 22, 2006


Oh noes, Ian Thorpe called a press conference yesterday to come out of the closet (finally) but instead announced his retirement! What-What? How did that happen? I had my glitter face gel and copy of Alicia Bridges' I like the Night Life all ready to go in the CD player, I was that excited but what happened instead? No dice! I should have known, after all he is ancient at 24 and wears too much hair gel to ever really cut through the water like he once did - also there was that little problem with eating fast food and partying hard with the who'swho in Hollywood. Anyway, at least he came up with a good reason for throwing in the chlorinated towel - citing boredom at staring at black line all day among other things. Luckily none of us ever get bored at work and feel like throwing the towel in by 24. Err! Actually, it's very Australian, now that I think of it.

As demonstrated in other posts of mine you will realise just how devastated I am by the news. What shall we do without him? Can the Australian swimming team go on? Will shares in hamburgers suddenly rise when Ian takes up on a steady diet of them? Is he going to being the face of pearl necklaces (hahaha) in that sponsorship gimmick? Will he continue being Australia's premiere fashion doyen? Oh lord, so many things to worry about! At least the rest of the world now has a chance to win a couple of gold medals in the pool every now and again.

Speaking of wusses the Victorian election race is hotting up for the big boom this weekend. Everyone is complaining about how much they hate the bullshit that goes on during the political race and dislike the childlike name calling and shin kicking that goes on, but I disagree. I LOVE it. I wish every month was political election month. There's so much to see and do. There's the political mudslinging: Ted Ballieu helped secure the sale of Victorian schools during the 90s and then profited from their sale? Now if that isn't evil, I don't know what is! Personal mudslinging: Ted Baillieu's mother in law discovered with a huge billboard for the Labour party (her son in law Ted Baillieu is the Liberal president) in her front yard. Hilarious! Gimmicks involving wearing too tight speedos while trying to prove what a trooper you are. Not a good look Mr Baillieu, ever! Come to think of it Mr Bracks, you are guilty of this too. Gimmicks involving other people wearing bathers as they confront you about your crappy environmental politics. Oh yes Mr Bracks, did you have any answer for her at all? Ahh, there is so much to laugh about during this time. It's hard to know what to read first in the paper actually

It's no big secret that politically speaking I'm a dirty tree-hugging hippy. I am not that impressed by political candidates who have a fuck load of money, a la Ted Baillieu. I don't think those kinds of people can ever identify with the common people who struggle with day to day living. Yes, that would be MOST of us. Plus he has his fingers in too many business shares for my liking. What's going to happen when a political decision conflicts with a business one - oh right, the War in Iraq happens. Unacceptable! That's not to say that I have completely demonised him or anything - some of the things he says make perfect sense (gay unions okay. yay! Ian Thorpe will be rapt!). But something is NQR about him. The problem is, there is also something NQR about Steve Bracks (the Labour party president) too. Sigh.