Monday, December 18, 2006

The Comeback Kid

Saturday disappeared right along with me under the doona - where it was deep and warm and a bit womb-like. The official excuse was 'hangover' and I had that - sure - a fucking bad one, but it wasn't a funny kind of hangover where you know you're recovering from a good night out. It was a horrible, restless, gut-wrenching kind of hangover where you feel like shit not only physically but also somewhere in your heart too. I didn't quite intend to spend the whole day in bed but somehow every time I peeked shyly out from under the covers it'd be all too much and I'd roll over again and have another little chat with morpheus and my pillow. Morpheus answered in true bastardly style - as usual. A dream about a haunted dress and a man who approached me for a friendly hug but squeezed me tight enough to take my breath away and then followed that up by pressing his knuckles so hard into my spine I actually awoke with a yelp!

Quite frankly folks, I feel like crap and I don't know what to do to about it. I agree with all those suggestions like "just force yourself to go out and be with people" but look, it's not going to happen. I feel like an understudy in The Hours - I'm the crap teacher who suffers unrequited love, has people die on them and finds out she isn't quite good enough for anyone or anything. Not even a leading lady in my own movie! A bit melodramatic? Oh yes, I know, I know! How do I go a little less Virginia Woolf and a lot more Wonder Woman? I'm usually one for the cynical approach to all things, but I can't this time. I'm being utterly sincere with myself and while it may not be the worst I've ever felt - it's close.

Top that with 7 hours of Christmas shopping only to realise I've forgotten one present! Then the bleeding foot (tan bark + cute sandals = ow), then the whole 1ltr bottle of varnish I spilled all down my outfit today (including on to cute new sandals) - yes a whole bottle aaaaaaand the mysterious rash under my breast. Obviously I rock.

I can't even fathom doing a Musical Monday today. I should have asked one of you to guest blog it. Any takers? - There's still a few hours of Monday left in the sand glass.