[Miscellany]

Wagamama - QV

bro - I have a walkout policy.
me - what's the policy?
bro - 10 minutes with no service and I walk out.
me - yeah, well guess who doesn't have a walk out policy? That's right..
bro - ...I am willing to take the bus.
me - good luck
bro - I'll go 15 minutes.
me - yeah yeah yeah
*silence as I make my chopsticks dance and bro gives me the stare*
*no service*
bro - Wagamama just killed a maaaan, put a gun against his head pulled my trigger now he's dead.
me - haha
*silence*
me - Wagamama mia, here we go again my my how can I resist you?
bro - haha
*silence*
*no service*
me - $1000 to eat all your meals with chopsticks for one year. Would you do it?
bro - oooo...kind offer but one whole year? I'm going to have to go with a no.
me - It's a fair offer, you can eat whatever you want! You could eat Asian for a year and you get $1000 dollars. There are people in the world who eat with chopsticks everyday and they don't get $1000 and here I am offering it to you and what do you do? You throw it back in my face, that's what!
bro - $1000? No deal.
*silence*
me - okay $2500! All you have to do is eat everything with chopsticks.
bro - no! no deal!
me - okay, okay you twist my arm $5000!
bro - hm...tempting but I don't knoooww.
me - It's a simple task really, doesn't even put you out very much and you get PAID to do it. That's $100 a week or thereabouts that you get for eating with chopsticks. $100 bucks a week is a lot of money!
bro - ...maybe.
*silence*
*no service*
*me closing one eye and pretending I can squish bro's head in my chopsticks*
me got yer head!
bro - it's like Beetlejuice with the shrunken head.
me Funniest movie ever! Remember how I was so obsessed with it. I watched that like 3 times a day for the whole school holidays
bro - oh yeah, you were a Beetlejuice freak! But I'm surprised we watched that movie and got it! We were pretty young..
me yeah, quirky film
*silence*
me "I've seen The exorcist about 167 times and it keeps getting funnier EVERY. SINGLE. TIME. I SEE IT! Not to mention the fact that you're talking to a dead guy here. So what do you think? You think I'm qualified?"
bro - hahahaha, classic!
*silence*
*no service*
me Man what's with the service?
bro - walk out policy.
me There is no fucking way I'm going anywhere else at this point.
bro - I'm going to give her [waitress] the eye.
me you go ahead and do that.
*silence as bro perfects the eye*
me so..$5000, chopsticks for a year.
bro - okay deal! But I can eat normal hand held food with my hands, right?
me um no! That wasn't part of the deal. You eat everything with chopsticks!
bro - what about sandwiches and hamburgers? I don't eat them with a fork and knife. I use my hands. Why can't I use my hands?
me No. The rules state that you must eat everything with chopsticks including all hand held food. You can however choose not to eat any hand held food.
bro - no..I should be allowed to eat sandwiches with my hands! How the hell am I supposed to eat a sandwich with chopsticks?
me You could use two pairs of chopsticks! One in each hand and pick up the sandwich like that!
bro - haha, no.
me Okay, I'll tell you what I'll do for ya - you CAN use knives etc to CUT your food into bite sized pieces and THEN use your chopsticks to eat those bite sized pieces.
bro - This is stupid! I should be allowed to have sandwiches. One meal of hand held food a day.
me A DAY? You have got to be kidding. No deal. The deal is off!
bro - one hand held meal a day!
me no, you FREAK! You're getting $5000 AND a pair of chopsticks! What more do you want?
*silence*
me okay okay! You can have one hand held meal a week. That's it. That's my final offer.
bro - one hand held meal a day. You're not compromising here, you need to meet me half way.
me Two hand held meals a week!
bro - 5 hand held meals a week!!
*silence*
me 5 hand held meals a week and the price goes down to $3500!
bro - YOU ARE RIPPING ME OFF!
me no deal!
*silence*
*no service*
me You suck. So..what are you going to get?
bro - They really shouldn't keep us waiting, we could have a restaurant review blog!

service - 6/20 (they got better)
meal 12/20
conversation - ridiculous.

Labels: bro, conversations, restaurant

posted by M at 1:30 am 25 comments