Saturday, June 16, 2007

The Misadventures of Quotegirl

You know when you hear that great song on the radio?
..she's just a girl who says that I am the one but the kid is not my son...
bro: Do you think that this song is a response to a girl who walked in on Michael Jackson in bed with her son and he's all like "hey, what you so mad about, he ain't MY son"?
me: ....that is fucked UP

The Falafel Conundrum
bro: What's so good about falafel anyway?
me: huh, what the hell are you talking about? Everyone fucking loves falafel, people go crazy over it.
bro: I don't think it's that good. In fact, it's shit.
me: Well yeah, but you could ask anyone and anyone would probably disagree. It caters to the finger food market, to the vegos, you can eat it hot or cold..you can dip it in stuff... People love that crap.
bro: Yeah well I disagree with that. If you offered a better alternative then people would take it.
me: Of course, so what's your better alternative then?
bro: ...sushi.
me: oooooo..you should do a research study on it.

Prams and Ma'ams
me: oooo, here's a question I've been wondering about for a while and now that you're a mum you can finally answer it for me!
#1: okay..
me: you know when you're at the shopping centre with your pram, do you intentionally try to mow innocent non-babied people down?
#1: HELL yes! We have no mercy, we don't even care.
me: Bastards! I will no longer feel guilty for getting in their way. I'm going to step in front of them and do that thing where I suddenly stop and look around dazed like I don't know where I'm going and just when they try to get round me I'm going to start up again and block 'em off. This is WAR!

The Sandpit
*kids digging in the sandpit*
me: Hm, so what are you guys doing over there?
kid #1: We're digging the biggest hole in the world.
kid #2: YEAH!
me: wow, it does look pretty big. Soooo...then what are you going to do with that hole?
kid #1: Um.. then we're going to wreck it!
kid #2: YEAH!
me: ...well...good luck with that.

Speechy: Sometimes I feel bad for looking so forward to the end of term.
me: Feeling bad? I'm beyond feeling bad. Bring. It. On.
Speechy: So how are you going with your reports?
me: hahaha, I'll let you know once I've started. I've got so much other stuff to do first that I haven't thought of them yet
Speechy: Aren't they due in 2 days?
me: You know what? Prin can wait until I'm good and ready!
Speechy: Yes, it's horrible right up until the bitter end isn't it?