Tuesday, August 21, 2007

two of wands, two of pentacles, two of swords.

* So the libs are scratching their heads re: opposition leader K-Rudd being more popular than ever after admitting that he visited the strippers 4 years ago. IMO it's not the fact that he visited the strippers that has made him popular but because he actually was matter of fact and didn't try to lie his way out of it. A politician that admits he was a bit of a "goose"? Sounds good to me - at least we agree on something.

Big surprise I'm sure but I'm not a fan of men who visit strip joints regularly. Yes, yes I accept that 99% of men have been to a strip club - wow. It's when they only keep change in 5 dollar notes and refer to their ladies by name and or go you know..cause it's Tuesday that it's a problem. Bucks night? Okay, fine. Tuesday? Um no, you suck.

Having said that I don't understand why any kind of business meeting takes place in a strip club. Why even try to make it official? Why not just say - hey, after work let's all go watch strippers hump a pole!! YEAAAHHHH *high five* - why the whole ruse about business? Is it about keeping female employees out of any position above secretary? Obviously any chick they invite along to the strip club for business they're doing so in order to intimidate, and harass. I never hear of female "business" taking place inside a male strip club. I don't get it.

But I digress, what is it about politicians pretending they've never done anything wrong - never smoked pot, never downed more than a light beer, never looked at a porno? Come the fuck on, we already think the libs are a bunch of disgusting freaks that need to be neutered before they spread their genes further than necessary (what? Is this opinion wrong?) - as if admitting they're human is going to make matters worse? I say they'd made more friends and influence people if they actually looked like they breathe the same oxygen as the rest of us.

* Prin approached me to let me know that the ex art teacher was coming back to the school and that she wasn't fussed about going back into the classroom herself. Prin told me first because she wanted the choice to be mine. I don't know what to do. In the last two years (about two of you were reading this when I made the original decision to go into the AR in the first place) I've learned that I'm much more capable than I ever imagined. I've gone from classroom management to dealing with distributors, stockists, creating and running my own program, balancing a budget, taking on a multitude of extra roles and also created a very different and dynamic art curriculum that is talked about both inside and outside the school (I get approached by people I don't even know who want to talk about it). Anyway, in terms of the role itself I've never felt more loved and indeed never felt like I've contributed more.

On the other hand I've felt very lonely and frustrated in this role too. Some days, like today I get to my 5th class of doing the same lesson over again and I just want to scream and cry. The staff meetings don't always relate to me and I don't always feel like the work I'm doing is important - this is despite kids coming up to me saying that they want to be an artist now - or parents telling me that their child has never enjoyed art so much. sigh.. I just don't know.

I like the autonomy that the art role affords me but at the same time I miss being part of a team. I hate the idea of having changed the whole program ie: creating an awesome place in the art room with new state of the art equipment (not to mention the media stuff) and then having someone else come in and reap the benefits of that, but at the same time I know I can't sustain this kind of pace forever. If I went back to the classroom I know that I would go back to feeling like my ideas weren't always being taken into consideration and that I'd be playing second fiddle again. I also know that there would be competition between myself and other teachers - especially going back to the level I want to teach at - where the teachers tend to market themselves and I absolutely LOATHE doing. And parents..god they can be horrible to classroom teachers. Then again - I love teaching in the classroom. I love the variety and indeed seeing how children learn and make really important learning steps. I like getting to know them as people rather than as kids I see one hour a week.

What am I going to do?

* I'm also trying to make a choice between two new camera lenses - for personal use. Every retailer I have spoken to says the same thing - it's a coin flip but it depends on what you want to do with it

Honey, I want to do it all.

And this is my problem overall, wouldn't you say?

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