Saturday, May 12, 2007

boys, blogs

The top 10 tally of search topics from people this week on melbstories and cbg as as follows.

drunk nuns
flowery panties
blew smoke up arse
running around trying to find
how not to come across as needy to a new guy
you treat me badly, I love you madly
naked women models, Melbourne.
Ted Baillieu film
moo-moo head.

I'm affirmed by the knowledge that people who come to these two blogs are a mix of the ridiculous, have weird sexual fetishes, are vaguely political, into pop culture and gender politics and might be slacking on the job. Kudos. No wonder blog people are my kind of people.

Meanwhile one of those inquiries is a pertinent one. How not to come across as needy to a new guy. Let's help this one out:

- don't have sex with him on the first date, second date, ..err any date until you are dating exclusively or he's actually expressed he likes to spend time with you when not having sex first (is this too old fashioned of me? Fuck it, so be it. I'm not having sex with someone who wants to date other people - unless I'm drunk off my tits in which case I'm anyones!!!!).

- have friends and better yet do stuff with them that doesn't always include him.

- don't call him everyday at work just because you missed him and are wondering what he's doing. Girlfriend, he's working (or updating his blog).

- don't make the pouty face when he spends time with the boys (or worse yet, invite yourself along). He's a new guy, let him believe he can still see the boys once in a while.

- no relationship talk until after you have sex (see #1) and even then don't do it in the afterglow.

- don't be sometimes girl. If you have sex and things suddenly cool off - cut him off. If he likes you, he'll like you in the morning and he'll want to introduce you to his friends. If not then he's not worth it - don't take him back.

- nickname: Honey Bunny. Save it for the 50 year anniversary.

- do not bring up the fact that you'd like a white wedding in Hawaii while on your first date.

- Interested in his life = good. Taking notes = bad.

- Do not sit out the front of his house with a bucket of chicken and a pair of night vision binoculars just to see what he's up to.

- Don't change your football team to his. NEVER DO THIS! Get a life, please!

- Have your own interests. He invites you out on Tuesday - oops you're having dinner with a girlfriend then. DO NOT CANCEL DINNER WITH GIRLFRIEND! Say, "I'm having dinner with a girlfriend, let's go out on Wednesday instead".

- He calls you at 9pm on a Saturday night. Do not answer the phone. Don't even entertain the last minute booty call. It's the early dating days - he wants a date, let him make it.

Anything else?

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