Saturday, December 15, 2007


Apparently in this day and age of always being ready it seems that women carry too much stuff in their handbags. I've often been accused of the same and have at one stage years ago now documented the contents of my handbag for scrutiny online. It seems as though I'm spending longer and longer searching for my keys or phone or whatever else I'm looking for. So in the spirit of making fun of myself and having nothing else to blog about I'm going to dump the contents of my bag out share with you what I carry around everyday and thus explain why my shoulder hurts like the buggery. Hopefully in the process I'll clean up a bit too.

Glitter in bottom of bag where I accidentally missed the bin and dumped a WHOLE packet of glitter in there during art clean up one day. No tis not endearing like Glinda the good Witch of the North - but more like dotty old Aunt Clara from Bewitched.
Mobile phone.
Lucas' Papaw Ointment (lip)
benefit eyeshadow (I've been looking for this everywhere!)
red chopsticks to put hair up
hair tie
alligator hair clips (geez might be an over kill it's not like I have Sampson like hair from which I garner all strength)
2 x tweezers (TWO???? wtf?)
Dodgy real estate guy calling card chuck it out!)
Lovely calling card of nice breakfast joint in Alphington (I really love good business cards)
empty anna sui perfume carry spray wah, my favourite and I can't find the fragrance anywhere anymore!)
roll on scented rose perfume from C&E
fcuk her sample (look, you never know when you need to smell nice)
list of properties to view...dated mid Nov (oops)
receipt chemist.
email address from long lost cousin hm, perhaps should write)
packet of carry tissues (only one left - do I keep the packet or not? hmm)
school teacher badge.
fold out hair brush (confess that am one of those girls you see doing their hair in their car at the traffic lights in the morning)
bobby pins left over from dress up day at school err...4 months ago.
80g external hard drive (big as my hand + chord - jesus).
Another fold out brush (this is getting ridiculous - I guess I'd lost the first one in the abyss of the messy bag and so got another one)
pay slip...Nov.
notes about business venture type stuff (err..quite a big wad of paper now that I think of it)
list of preps for next year with notes on the back I scribbled down of lyrics to a funny song.
prescription + medical certificate.
hay fever medication
sun glasses
spare tampon
spare pad
headphones for phone radio thingy.
Makeup bag - powder, eyeshadow, lip gloss, 2 eyeliner (wtf?), 2 different lipsticks, eye makeup remover thingies, liquid eye colour thing (where the hell is my mascara?)
list of properties to view - last weekend.
lost receipt for clay firing (I swear I LOST it!)
Hoyts 2 for $20 pass...exp Dec 1st (Daamnnn!)
Tori Amos ticket, Crowded House ticket, Writers Festival ticket (hm)
Australia Post investigation thingy (Long story)
Purse with selected cards and things.
Bank cheque owed to me from school, STILL UNBANKED! Fuck, they will slaughter me for banking this after budgets have closed. Fuck, fuck, fuck!)
Teacher registration renewal confirmation. Am deemed not a danger to little children! (hm, suppose I should put this somewhere safe)
Invite to party I can't attend since still am sick. wah.
List of staff contact details (hm, what's that floating around loose in bag?)
Red Filofax (could have utilised that to write self note so I could remember to bank cheque about 4 months ago!)
2008 year planner - (am thinking of chucking filofax and just going for a streamlined planner that is very compact.. then again, where will I put all of my shit?)
Huge envelope filled with tax receipts for last years tax which I still haven't done..

Err, that's actually a lot better than I expected. Let me tell you it's been worse as in all that + staple gun + box of nails + swiss army knife. Actually if perfectly honest must admit that my key ring does have a mini swiss army knife on it anyway (and a little Eiffel Tower).

So, girls what's in your bag? Do you pack everything in like me or are you streamlined with a tiny purse? Men - what's your stand on the man bag? How can you get through life carrying nothing around? I mean, where do you put all your stuff? If you don't have any stuff...well I want to know WHY?

Issues Survey (as seen in the paper today)
Since I'm not actually going to send it in and since I ended up doing it AND since I really have no life and am getting quite bored by sitting in bed watching every episode of the various Mr Darcy/Mr Rochester antics I have on DVD (there are a lot), well I'll post it here instead. They are yes or no answers plus my add on.

1. Should organ donations for transplants be made compulsory?
No, mostly because of religious reasons. I mean God likes smiting me everyday so it's not like I'm down with Him, but there are people that are and whose religion says not to donate so ..no. Also I would hate if giving blood was compulsory as am deathly afraid of having blood drawn and thought of it makes me want to cut my head off.

2. Do you support the current regime of water restrictions?
Yes, of course.

3. Are there too many poker machines?
Yes Far too many! It's a disgrace, especially since the areas most adversely affected are the poorer communities.

4. Should local communities have the power to shut out poker machines?

5. Should the Federal Government say sorry to the Aboriginal people on behalf of all Australians?
Yes duh.

6. Should p-plate drivers be restricted from driving powerful cars?
yes And I say this EVEN THOUGH I was a learner and a p-plater driving a V8. It was the only car we had and when I said to mum that I wasn't allowed to drive a v8 she told me to just shut up and drive. lol.

7. Should drivers over 70 undergo compulsory licence retesting every two years
yes By god yes, have you seen them tackle the freeways? Having said yes though, I mean yes at the expense of the government. No, I really don't think they should be out of pocket if they are on a pension. If not on a pension and still holding on for dear life as CEO of large corporation and not letting Gen X and Y take over then make them pay quadruple I say!

8. Are you optimistic about the future?
No hahahahhahaha, oh god that's a good one. No, I think we can safely say that my future is marked with a big red X.

9. Has Australia become a safer place in the past 12 months?
No Let's see, the other day 6 men raped a girl and didn't get any time in jail. I'd say it's safe for some and not for others. But OVERALL, we've had all this bullshit about homeland security and meanwhile along with our alliance with the grand of USA, more hated that ever OS. Great.

10. Are you financially better off than the same time last year?
No The dollar is not stretching as far as it used to. I'm using my credit card much more often for everyday getting-by stuff than by splurging (as is what credit cards should be used for. haha). This is despite the fact that my pay has gone up.

11. Should caesarian births be performed on a needsonly basis?

12. Do parents spend enough time monitoring what their children do online?
No, not at all. You should see the things kids do online these days. It's frightening. If the parents KNOW about it and allow it, then that's even WORSE!

13. Do you intend to travel overseas in the next 12 months
yes..and no. I intend to travel every year. I'm ready right now. And yet..

14. Do you appreciate the indoor smoking ban in pubs and clubs?
yes I know the smokers of the world are feeling the injustice of being singled out here (freedom blah blah blah) but now when I go out I don't smell like smoke, I don't get a headache, I don't have smelly hair that takes about 2 days of washing to stop smelling like ciggies. I choose not to smoke and it pisses me off that others feel like they have the right to inflict their smoke on ME even though it instantly gives me a headache or makes me feel nauseous and inhaling too much of it gives me asthma. I can't choose not to breathe you know, that oxygen stuff permeates everywhere and so does smoke. If I decide to walk into a smoking section of a restaurant then yes that's my problem but I'm glad that clubs are free of it.

FAMILY (Skipping this bit as is not yes/no)

19. Do councils have too much control over what you do with your home?
No Not on the whole but sometimes they are a bit pissy about stuff. I mean if you want to cut down a tree in your backyard then by god you should be allowed to.

20. Should the size of houses be restricted to cut down on environmental impacts?
No BUT all new houses should be made with environmental provisions, as should all extensions. Solar energy, water tanks etc.

21. Has your suburb become more crowded in the past year?
No um..well I don't think so. There's a little more going on than previously though.

22. Do you plan to buy or sell a home in the next 12 months?
yes HAHAHHAHA, oh this is killing me *wipes tear*.

23. Do you intend renovating in the next 12 months?
yes something tells me yes.

24. Has the level of service by your council become better or worse in the past year?
no - the same.

25. Would you consider riding a bike to work?
No - it's not practical This question should have read: Would you consider putting yourself and others in mortal danger by riding a bike to work?

26. Have you been a victim of crime in the past year?
yes only by school children who steal my farking pens and stuff from the art room. :(

27. Have you witnessed drunken violence in the past year?

28. Have you been personally affected in some way by drugs?
No though I know people who have been..so perhaps it has affected me but more in a secondary way.

29. Do you support the decriminalisation of public drunkeness?
I don't know. I mean without it where would St. Pats day be? But then again, to be perfectly honest I've been followed by packs of drunken guys outside nightclubs before and that probably wouldn't have happened if they'd been sober. It was scary.

30. Should there be cigarette style warning labels for beer and wine?
No It's about moderation. Even being a occasional smoker shows many or as many in some cases risks to your health as being addicted - whereas alcohol is a lovely numbing agent that helps one get through the day, much like a health tonic. That is my story and I'm sticking to it dammit!

31. Have you confidence in the police?
No HA, as if.

32. Should there be a royal commission into police corruption?
Yes fuck yes.

33. Is the AFL out of touch with what fans rally want?
Yes We want blood on the field and antics and not so many stupid rules about loutish behaviour on the part of the crowd. What's wrong with a bit of nudity? What's wrong with throwing stuff onto the field? What's wrong with heckling? Where's the fun gone?

34. Are there too many Victorian teams in the AFL?
No Are there too many NSW and QLD teams in the league?

35. Should the Kangaroos move to the Gold Coast?
yes And take Wayne Carey with you, and keep him there forever. I mean FOREVER!

36. Should the AFL thre-strikes drug policy be reduced to...
Zero Tolerance or one strike and you're out. They are supposed to be athletes. They get paid a shit load like real athletes. So dammit they should act like athletes. Though, I think that this is for any performance enhancing, or recreational drugs during the season. On the off season they needn't be tested. They can fall into a coma a million times then if they want.

37. Should clubs be tougher on footballers who misbehave in public?
yes Especially during the season.

38. Should drug cheats be banned for life from their sport?
Yes If it's a habit then especially yes. And if it's performance enhancing then absolutely. A one off for marijuana? No.

39. Are sports stars good role models for youth?
No they aren't GOOD but they are role models nonetheless. Kids totally look up to sporting heroes and they talk about them all the time. Kids are absolutely passionate about their favourite sports stars and so no matter how much someone says 'but they shouldn't be role models' they actually ARE role models and need to act like it or seriously get out of the career and go get a normal job.

40. Do you support Australia's role in the war in Iraq?
No Bloody stupid war.

41. Should the Brumby government do more to develop public transport?
yes As it stands I refuse to take public transport unless I absolutely have to. I know it's environmentally unfriendly of me to take the car but there you have it. In most cases it only costs me a few dollars extra to drive and park PLUS not all areas are serviced with trains, and in many areas the transport is infrequent and packed full of people. I'm not paying 10 bucks a day to stand squashed next to someone's arm pit. When the bus cost 3 bucks for a day pass I was THERE - nowadays it's ridiculous. Victoria has shit public transport. The Sydney transport is so much better, more frequent, runs longer hours and in most cases cleaner.

42. Is the Brumby gov. doing enough for country Victoria?
Dunno Ashamed to say...

43. Is the Brumby government doing enough for Melbourne?
Dunno He's barely shown his face since Bracks stepped down. I wouldn't have the faintest what he's up to. Must mean he's not doing enough - god knows how the pollies love to tell EVERYONE when they've done something right.

And there ya go, time wasting achieved. Back to Mr Darcy.

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