Wednesday, November 10, 2010

Id, Ego, Superego.

For the past three years at the school I've enjoyed a very nice relationship with the parent community. My name has been bandied around the local kindergartens as a 'great teacher' and people come to the school knowing who I am and/or wanting their child to be in my class. This is very flattering for someone who has the self esteem about the size of a kangaroo fetus and for the most part of her life has felt like the girl in your class who wears braces and eats clag.

Next year at the school my role is changing somewhat. I'm going to be teaching a level of children that is a "hard sell" to parents - mostly because it will be a standalone class - but for other reasons too... I'm finding now, for the first time, in a long time I'm not a popular choice. Parents who I don't doubt would have followed me up the school with their children, are saying a polite "no" to this class and then coming to see me to apologise because, they assure me, they love me but ...no, this class no. I know that if I was faced with putting Guappo my fake adopted Somalian baby into this class I'd struggle too, so I really can't blame them.

This is the first time in my life however that I've actually had to battle against my Ego. I never thought I had one, you see - and it's a bit of a shock to find out that yes, yes I do.

In a way it's good for me to have my Ego checked by this little life test. It's good to be humbled sometimes and to have the shoe on the other foot.

But I want to make this perfectly clear: I hate it.

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