[Miscellany]

The psychic is back in town. I know, I know - I'm flakey like that. I don't believe in psychics willy nilly, in fact I've never been to one before this one but this one had a family connection so I knew I could trust them - and then last year when I went she knew something about me that no one else knew - in such great detail mind you that I was left with no doubt in my mind at all...

Anyway - suffice to say, she's very good and now she's back.

I've decided to go again.

I've thought about the last 12 months since I saw her. I've thought about it a lot. I don't know if much has changed and I can't help thinking that's another year wasted. Since I'm breathing down the neck of 30 here time is the very last thing I want to waste. In the last year I've gone through a few really low lows and quite frankly I can't think of any high points at all. Most of all I feel like a year ago I was at a crossroad and now ...I'm still there! I was speaking to Fashion Cousin who since her visit last year has dramatically changed her outlook on life - the positivity there is astounding. She's had a lot of people believe in her as well and that has helped. As a contrast I'm feeling tired and really old. Not so much in years but something deeper inside me feels very old, like I'm at the end of my life or something - which is not a cry for help btw, it's just how I feel. I don't know what that means except that I've stopped trying and that's not good. I suppose I felt like all the efforts I *did* make have gone to waste. How does one get their mojo back I wonder?

All I know is that I'm feeling frustrated because I don't know how to make things happen. I know that I have certain abilities and talents but not how to make them work for me. It's like I am this unopened present. Until you get to see what it is and play with it a present is just a box wrapped up tightly. It has potential, sure - but what good is potential if it's never realised?

Maybe I should ask the psychic about lotto numbers - money changes everything, right?

The song today reminds me of my friend S - The Cure always reminds me of her. We sang them a lot when we were in school. Come to think of it - we were doing a lot of singing full stop. Nevermind the fact that I'm particularly bad at singing I just liked doing it. It's funny - back then I was probably truer to myself than what I am now. That's not how it's supposed to be - you're supposed to be truer to yourself as you leave your awkward teen years behind. I feel much more awkward now than I ever did back then.

Anyway, In-between Days, because it's a favourite, and because it feels like I am in-between days at the moment. In-between lives. In-between thoughts. In-between decisions. In-between everything but two hot men. What? Who said that? Anyway, I'd be willing to bet you're all familiar with the song and if not, then I have to ask WHY the hell not? It's a goodie.




In-Between Days - The Cure

Labels: decision and indecision, musical monday, new age, oh I don't know., questions

posted by M at 6:09 pm 35 comments

Today is the 6th anniversary of my online journalling. Obviously, I've quite sluttily (made up word) spread myself around, so to speak - so, no blogger I'm sorry you're not the first. I have been sullied by others. I hope you understand.

Here's a tidbit from my first online journal. Second post.

what do I want this space to be?
I'm so sick of trying to work myself out all the time.
If I spend any length of time focusing on my thoughts I will surely go crazy.
I never have linear thoughts.
I always thought that it was the places I visited that represented the labyrinth.
but now I know
that the labyrinth is me.

why didn't I make this private?
what is a diary anyway?
a un-ruptured flow of thoughts?
or an abridged version of my life for someone...anyone...
like the radio edit of Stairway to Heaven.
culled for the benefit of air time and the short attention span of the masses..
so who?
people here? my future children? grandchildren? myself?
all of the above?
I'm confused.

Am I any closer to figuring myself out? In some ways yes, in some ways no. Did I actually type out the labyrinth is me and then press publish for all the world to see? Why, yes I embarrassingly did. I'll wear it too. I am a supreme dork.

In matters concerning the self and our place in the universe Fashion Cousin rang me up and asked me to come watch a DVD at her house about attracting the things you want into your life. She used the words "this thing is like a cult" and I was sooo there. Since Artist Turned Nun - Now In Her Own Words "Am Living Big Brother Uncut" Cousin (abbreviated to: ATNNIHOWALBBUC) almost became a cultist herself I have been fascinated by them. This DVD was no cult though - but perhaps just as sinister.

Yes, I'm talking about The Secret

Have you heard about it? No?

How can I put this?

Have you heard of Oprah Winfrey?

Yes?

Okay, she loves it. That's all you need to know.

Ohhhhh Kayyyy, I'll explain it - Basically the it's a self help book without the book bit. You don't even have to read - it's a DVD! I am not a self help guru. In fact I have been known to laugh until I drool at people who read self help books - right to their face too (I don't have a lot of friends, obviously). I have read one or two self help books in my life (depending on how you define a self help book):

1) He's Just Not That Into You (a book about how women will let men treat them like shit just so they can have a relationship with them. Meanwhile if a man treats you like shit there is no way in hell he actually likes you. He doesn't like you. If he liked you, he'd treat you like a queen. He's never going to like you. He's going to keep treating you like shit. Ditch him girl - he's just not into you! It was written by a guy).

2) The Celestine Prophesy (Well, it was a fiction. Is this self help or is this new age? Neither? Both? I have no idea and hence the confusion. Sometimes there is a crossover between fiction/self help and new age. Basically this one is about how everything in the universe has deeper meaning and don't you forget it).

So that's it, my self help discovery, but now I can add The Secret.

What is The Secret?

Basically it's the law of attraction put into practical use. You can have everything you want as long as you want it. Positivity and joy attract positivity and joy. Negative thoughts attracts negativity. There is no such thing as bad luck, instead you control all aspects of your life.

The crux is that there is little to no distinction between humanity and the universe. We are all made up of energy and thus we are I think as jedi so wonderfully put it it - the universe made manifest. Therefore the possibilities for us are endless.

You want love. You imagine yourself with love. You think positively about it. You visualise having it. You feel yourself in love. You feel it. You trust that it will come to you. You never, ever think that you don't deserve it or that it won't happen. Any negativity you previously had you should drive out with only affirmative thoughts about love. Your thoughts must affirm what you want. Repeat. Love will manifest.

You are what you think.

Ask for what you want. Visualise it always - feel yourself enjoying what you really want. Receive it. Be grateful for what you have. Continue cycle.

It's certainly not a new thing. There are so many people out there who believe that thinking positive will attract positive things to you. A lot of YOU bloggers out there say it is so too. I've read that you think it ;) I've also deducted that you believe in chance and chaos and certainly not meaning and order in the universe.

Here's the thing. Do you believe that your mind can bring you what you want (that positivity is the way to go) knowing that if you believe that then everything in the universe has meaning and perhaps that drives the whole 'chance' idea out the window? If chance existed then what does it matter if you think like a misery guts every day? Surely chance always evens things out in the end? But this notion does not allow for that - it says that there is no chaos - there is only the way of all things and the way of all things is how you think it.

The Secret is not a secret really - but ignore the fact that it's a "next big thing" now. Is the concept of positive visualisation crap or not? Can you visualise good things and make them manifest? Do you engage in positive visualisation and has it worked for you?

Labels: blogaversary, crazy people, ideas, new age, oprah can turn anything into a best seller, questions, self help, wonderings

posted by M at 11:07 pm 46 comments